Can's POV

I held back my tears as Tin drove away. I stood in some kind of shock as I saw his car get smaller and smaller.

Did I make a wrong decision by telling him that at this point in time all I wanted was his friendship?

I really really wish that some kind of magic would make my emotions crystal clear to me, because right now they are as clear as mud.

Tin wanted to be more than just friends with me. He did say that he liked me and that he wanted to date me and make me his boyfriend. He removed my hand that was holding his, and told me that he did not want to be just friends with me, as I was suggesting for us to be.

On the other hand, at this point in time, I am prepared to be just friends with him. It is even a surprise that we are friends at all because at the start of our stormy acquaintance I was so mad at him that I punched him on two different occasions.

How he ended up wanting me to be his boyfriend is a mystery to me. His explanation that he feels comfortable when he is with me, and how he is able to breathe when he is around me is something that I still need time to wrap my head around.

I am upset that he did not want to give me time to think about his request. He wanted me to make a decision right there and then and I just couldn't do it. There is still so much to understand.

I am so different from Tin. I am not always clear about what I want. I am a slow decision maker. I have to think things through before making any decision, especially such an important decision like agreeing to be someone's boyfriend.

I am not sure that I will be able to meet the demands or responsibilities that come with being someone's boyfriend.

What if I am not able to be available when he wants me to be around him. I have a lot of friends, especially my team mates in soccer. I am very close to Ae and Good and want to be able to spend time with them. What if he will not allow me to watch movies with them or have lunch with them? What if he will restrict my activities?

When Tin's car finally disappeared from view, I turned around and started walking toward the stadium where I knew my team mates were practicing for our soccer game.

I went into the locker room and changed into my jersey and shorts.

I was going to vent my frustrations on the game. I was going to do my best to improve my soccer skills. That way, I will be able to forget this unclear feeling in my heart.

I was still feeling sad as I ran towards the field where my team mates were already playing.

What is this heavy feeling in my chest? Is this what I have heard other people call as a heartache?

Well, I have decided to get Tin out of my mind and my heart. I am going to focus on my game.

All my team mates were happy to see me. They noticed how hard I was trying to improve my game.

My sweat was running down my back and the side of my forehead at the end of the practice.

My best friend Good handed me a towel, saying, "You seem different today. Are you trying to make up for the last time when you were not too focused on the game and we ended up losing?"

I did not know how to answer him. I was not sure if he would understand if I told him that I was trying to get over a heartache.