Chapter Twenty-Nine

"So... he just left?" Akin asked, confused.

I only nodded silently as I sat in the hospital bed Hades insisted I use while he washed the strange stuff out of my system that both Atlan and Drulius had forced me to ingest. I didn't want to move. My whole body ached and throbbed with pain, even though it was technically healed on the outside.

Now, Akin sat beside me on the bed, twirling a lock of my hair around his finger while his other hand brushed the hair out of my face. He gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek, then rested his head against mine. His touch made me relax and I sighed, slumping back on the bed, closing my eyes.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Akin asked softly. I blinked my eyes open to stare at him.

"I don't know, master... Atlan said he was going after the Khalian now... He's going to kill Xenon and Anexius and I can't let him do that." I murmured. Akin frowned, stroking the side of my face with his knuckles. I could tell he wanted to argue, not that he didn't care about Xenon and Anexius, but because he was tired of fighting, tired of risking my life. I was pretty tired of it too, but I wasn't going to duck out when Atlan was still wandering the universe.

Even worse, we'd lost track of him. We'd managed to fight back his armies. His Khalian had vanished and the soldiers tried to retreat, but we'd yanked them into custody. We sent our own armies in Atlantis, but there was no sign of any gods on the island. It was completely abandoned, and Hades and Lucifer had set up several base camps and made Lea in charge of the island while I recovered, and my stomach knotted at the thought of them sending me there, not to fight, not to occupy it until we got someone else to lead it, but because I was supposedly the heir to that huge realm.

And I wanted nothing to do with it.

Just being back there had made my skin crawl. While the realm itself was beautiful, there were too many dark memories lurking in the shadows. I wouldn't be able to enjoy it the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

"How's Arikos?" I asked, changing the subject. Akin relaxed at that as he returned to threading his fingers through my hair.

"He's fine, baby. He woke up long enough to eat, then passed out again. Hades says he's too weak to do much right now." He explained. I chewed at my bottom lip, trying to relax, but it was still too hard. I was tired, weary, and damn, I could go for a nap right now, but there was still too much to do, so much at stake, that I felt guilty the longer I laid in bed.

"I need to see Arikos." I said at last. Akin frowned.

"Baby, I think you need to rest--"

"Please, master. It's really important." I said. Akin studied my expression, and I could tell he really wanted to hold me down and make me stay there, but we both knew that the moment he stepped out of the room that I would leave to find Arikos. He sighed and slid off the bed, allowing me to sit up. I stepped onto the floor, grimacing at the cold tiles beneath my feet. Akin watched me to make sure I didn't fall flat on my face while he moved the IV stand behind me.

I stepped out of the room and Akin directed me two doors down to where Arikos's was.

The hallways were clearer now. Every so often a soldier would come down the hallway to visit someone, or a nurse would rush past to get to one of the rooms. Hades had moved all the in-patients to the guest rooms of his palace, keeping them close in case there was a crash or worse. I wasn't sure what worse signified, but thought it best not to ask.

I came to Arikos's room and opened the door a crack to peek inside first. Arikos was laying on the hospital bed set up, appearing to be asleep. He finally wore clothing, and a box on the nearby nightstand was home to all of his slave jewelry. No doubt he could sell them for a good price now, probably enough to live on for at least a year or two. Not that I was sure he'd do it or not.

I approached the bed quietly, then paused to frown at the end of the bed where his feet were hidden beneath the blanket. Curiosity led me to lift the blankets up to see that his foot had been bandaged up, meaning Hades had burned his slave mark off. A breath of relief left me.

"You're gonna have to pay if you want more than a look." I jerked my head up to see Arikos's eyes open, watching me tiredly. I dropped the blanket and cocked my head at him. Part of me wanted to congratulate him on finally being free, but there was something about Arikos's eyes that told me he didn't feel very free. Be it from the nightmares that would probably plague him or the fact that Atlan was still lurking around out there, I couldn't be sure. I looked at Akin, who gave me a nod and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'll be in the dining room just down the hall. They're serving dinner for the in-patients soon." He said. I just nodded, watching him leave before I turned back to Arikos, who watched Akin go, staring at the door even after he was gone before he looked up at me.

"You're still alive." He said. I shrugged. Arikos rolled his eyes, slowly sitting up and hissing in pain as he did so. I moved forward and hit a button on the side of the bed that would lift the head of the bed up so Arikos wouldn't have to move more. He looked at me gratefully as I stepped back.

We were silent for a moment, as if unsure what to say before I asked what was on my mind.

"What happened?" I asked. Arikos stared at me. His silver eyes swirled with pain.

"After you left, I was wondering around the island. I tried to steer clear of Atlan. I hid at Lea's place for a while. But Atlan showed up. He was... acting weird," He paused, averting his eyes to stare up at the ceiling, "The bastard is a heartless piece of a shit... But he honestly seemed disturbed that she wasn't there. He was digging around, throwing things, yelling. I tried to sneak out the back, but he found me. Everything went black... and I woke up in his room again." Arikos's heart monitor skipped a beat and I could tell he was panicking.

"It was happening all over again," He managed, then squeezed his eyes shut and a tear slid down the side of his face, "Even in death, I couldn't get away from him, Hannibal. He was there when I woke up and it was-- it was like my entire life was flashing before my eyes again. Then one night Atlan came in and told me he needed me again. I tried to refuse, but he wouldn't have it. He cracked me upside the head and next thing I know, I'm waking up here in this bed and some creep was hanging out near the door and that Hades guy was poking me with a needle and a woman was giving me food. I don't know where I'm at. Hades wouldn't tell me."

"You're at Hades's palace," I replied quietly, watching his eyes widen, "I brought you back here. I found you in Atlan's temple. He was using you to lure me into the realm. I managed to get you out."

"Before?" Arikos pressed. I frowned.

"Before he beat the shit out of me. What were you expecting?" I asked. Arikos said nothing. It bothered me, because it felt like he wanted to say something else. Instead, he shuddered and rubbed the side of his head.

"I keep having these creepy nightmares," He murmured, making me frown, "I keep seeing you and Xiphrus... And Atlan. And we never get away, Hannibal. We can't." I tensed at that. There was such an air of hopelessness around Arikos now. Granted, there was before, but this one... He looked so broken and defeated. He had thought he'd finally gotten away when he died, finally found some kind of freedom, but now he was back.

And I sympathized with that. How many times had I slit my wrists, my throat, and woken up the next morning to mere scars, still breathing, still facing a world I hated more than anything? As if we hadn't failed at life already, we failed at taking it as well. Still forced to live in a world that wanted nothing to do with us.

"So what now," Arikos asked quietly, making me look at him as he stared down at a loose thread he was tugging at on his blanket, "I heard the nurses talking. Atlan isn't occupying Atlantis anymore. He's fled. The pantheon's broken up and scattered. Now would be a good time to go in and take back what belongs to you." I grimaced.

"I thought about that," I replied, making Arikos look at me curiously, "I don't want to be king of Atlantis."

"Try telling that to the Moirai." He said bitterly. I understood his hatred for the Moirai. They had fucked our destinies this way and that. I was supposed to have grown up with my mother, with Zetnos, as a nature god with friends and family. Instead, they had taken my life, balled it up like a spitball and spat it out in my face and expected me to follow every little rule they had laid down for me. They controlled my life since the very beginning...

"I'm done with them," I said, watching Arikos's eyes widen in surprise, "My entire life-- Our entire life was rewritten by those three cunts. We weren't supposed to live like this, Arikos. This was never supposed to happen. We were supposed to get better than this... The Moirai want me to be King of Atlantis. The Source wants me to be king of Atlantis. Everyone keeps reminding me, like it's the greatest honor in the world. Maybe once upon a time, the idea would've appealed to me, but I'm not a king, Arikos." Arikos frowned at that.

"I don't know," He said, making me arch a brow, "I can totally see statues of you." I made a face and Arikos laughed.

"Yeah, hold that expression. We'll make all the statues like that."

"No, thanks," I said dryly, watching Arikos smile before I looked away, "Besides, there's a lot more important things in my life right now. I want to stay with Akin, in Hell, where we belong. Granted, I can't call that place my home, but Akin is my home and Akin wants to stay in Hell, therefore, that is my home. And.... My brother is back. He'll need to adjust to this place." Arikos frowned for a moment before his eyes widened.

"You mean the buff puppy that brought me here?" He asked. I nodded.

"His name is Menoetius. He... I'm unsure about him at this time. But I can't leave him alone. Hades will send us both to Tartarus if he fucks up even once."

"Is that the only reason you can't leave him alone?" Arikos asked, raising an eyebrow and folding his arms over his chest. I frowned.

"I don't know," I responded honestly, watching Arikos cock his head, "Menoetius and I have really bad history... But there's something about him that's making it easier to tolerate his presence. It's hard to explain. Just, right now, I need to focus on adjusting him to this world, on finding Atlan and killing him. I don't have time to be running an entire realm." Arikos nodded in understanding.

"That's fine," He said, then paused to laugh, but it was a nervous laugh, uneasy, shaky, "I'm in no hurry to get back. This is the first time I've been in another realm on my own without any orders, without any lying or sneaking around. I'm... honestly not sure what the hell I'm going to do." I looked at him, confused, and he stared at me.

"I have no money. I have no job. I have no priors. I have no friends or family. What am I supposed to do? The only thing I know how to do, I never want to do again." He murmured. I understood that sentiment. After the incident in Styx, I never wanted to touch or be touched ever again. Even brushing against people in public made my skin crawl and even trying to touch myself made me sick to my stomach. It wasn't until after I realized that I loved Akin that I was willing to try again.

I knew Arikos wanted to avoid the entire subject. And I knew he was hedging toward the possibility of working as a prostitute, and the idea made me uncomfortable. I wasn't sure I would enjoy the idea of Arikos doing something he didn't want to do with his freedom... It wouldn't be freedom. Granted, official prostitution was a huge difference from being a sex slave, but it was the sex part Arikos didn't want to deal with.

"I can help," I said, making Arikos frown at me, "Let me help you find some place to work. I know a lot of people who could really use some help." Arikos swallowed.

"Hannibal, that's great, but I don't want to add to your already full shit-plate."

"You're not. I'm offering." I said firmly. Arikos studied my face, then sank down on his bed, sighing and covering his face with a hand before looking at me.

"I'm really not good at anything. The only reason I know about this world is because Atlan implanted knowledge into my head, and even then, that only goes so far. I still have no idea what the Internet is. I just know it's popular."

"You'll figure it out. It takes time. If anyone judges you for it, hit them... That's what I do." I tacked on. Arikos laughed.

"Somehow, I don't doubt that." He answered with a smile. I felt my lips curve in a while. Arikos's cheeks stained pink and he dropped his eyes. We were silent for a while longer before a nurse came in to change out Arikos's IV. I promised to return and left his room to go find Akin in the dining room, feeling sudden hunger cramps in my gut. I wasn't completely sure where I was going considering Hades had changed his palace around since the last time I had been here, and I rounded a corner, smacking into someone, who made a tiny noise like they were hurt.

"Sorry." I said, then paused when I realized it was Tsukuyomi whom I'd bumped into. His right arm was in a sling, a bandage pasted on his upper cheek, and more bandages around his throat. He looked startled to see me for a moment before his expression became placid.

"You're still alive." He said that like he was surprised. I raised an eyebrow.

"So are you." I said. Tsukuyomi gave me a short nod.

"I am not easy to kill. I may look delicate, but I am anything, but," He hesitated after a moment, then gave me a nod, "Best of luck to you on your endeavors... Hannibal. It was a pleasure to meet you, and your... master." I frowned as he started past me.

"Are you leaving?" I asked. Tsukuyomi nodded.

"My job here is finished."

"Did you tell Hades?" I asked. Tsukuyomi stared at me for the longest time, then looked away. There was a faraway glint of sadness in his eyes. He closed them for a moment, then took a deep breath and shook his head, looking at me.

"I do not wish to cause him anymore grief. This will, hopefully, be the last time I am called upon. By anyone." He answered, then vanished before I could say anything else. There was something incredibly off about that god, but it was obviously none of my business and he wanted nothing to do with anyone apparently. I turned and continued down the hallway, finally finding the dining room, but only because there was a large amount of people passing in and out. Patients hobbling with their own IV stands, a few in wheelchairs, several nurses and doctors as well as a few of the Sons of Hades.

The moment I spotted Abel standing near the entrance, though, I hesitated. I glanced around to make sure Cain wasn't around, and even though I confirmed that Abel was indeed here alone, I still wasn't so sure I wanted to go through the front entrance. Was there even a back entrance to this place? Through the kitchen maybe?

It didn't matter, though, because a second later, Abel caught sight of me and he instantly left his position to approach me. I tensed, feeling my lungs clench tight and my stomach drop like I had suddenly swallowed a ten pound rock. My heart was starting to ache in my chest and I was trying to figure out what I was going to say to him. Just looking at him churned my stomach.

It wasn't that he wasn't unattractive-- he wasn't. Abel, like Cain, was devastatingly beautiful with sharp features that were borderline pretty, in an odd masculine sort of way, and his eyes were a piercing shade of blue that reminded me a lot of Hades's. The only differences between Cain and Abel were their height difference and hair color. Abel was at least two inches taller and his hair was dyed navy blue, and currently sitting out of his face with a glossy black headband.

"Hannibal," He greeted with a friendly smile, "Akin's already inside waiting... with Menoetius." Oh, as if this little run-in wasn't bad enough, now Menoetius and Akin were in a room together? It wasn't that I didn't trust them... Well, I trusted Akin, but Menoetius? Not so much. I could only hope the amount of people would prevent Menoetius from making a spectacle.

"Are you all right?" Abel asked, cocking his head. I avoided eye contact with him, like I did every time we were forced to converse. There were times when I got so angry that he would walk up to me and talk to me like this, like I was normal in his eyes, like I wasn't a monster. It was almost like he liked to make me uncomfortable... But Abel wasn't that kind of person. He never had been.

Where Cain was cruel and inconsiderate, got off on making me uncomfortable, Abel was nothing like that. He'd always been friendly and open, accepting of the oddest of things. He had to, though, considering his relationship with Cain. And every time I saw them together, I expected to feel pain, but I never did. At least, not about losing Cain, but about hurting Abel.

"Fine." I answered Abel briefly. He studied me for a moment, then raised an eyebrow.

"I mean with Menoetius." He said. I frowned. Why would that matter to him? Wouldn't he be a little thrilled to see Menoetius making me uncomfortable? Again, I knew he wouldn't feel like that, and yet I couldn't help wondering.

"Why?" I asked. Abel sighed.

"You always do that," He chided, making my stomach knot, "Giving me one word answers and squirming like a conversation with me is like pulling teeth. I don't mean to pull this card, but Hannibal, you kind of owe me a decent conversation once in a while." I ground my teeth together at that. I did owe him, a lot more than a stupid conversation, though. Maybe my heart on a platter or my innards decorating his palace. But a conversation?

"Why do you keep doing this," I said at last, watching Abel start to brighten until he realized this conversation was going downhill, fast, "Why do you keep talking to me like I'm a normal person, like I'm not seriously fucked up? Do you do it to make me feel like shit? Because it's working. I really do feel like shit. Or do you do it to piss off Cain? Because that also works. I have the scars to prove it. I know you wanted to try this pretend it didn't happen thing and it's nice, until you start talking to me. And I know I have absolutely no right to tell you to do anything, to not talk to me, to not be angry, or anything like that. I just want to know why you insist on talking to me." My chest hurt and I waited for Cain to suddenly pop out of nowhere, or god fucking forbid Hades, and probably take my head off for getting nasty with Abel, but I couldn't stand it anymore.

I couldn't stand this pretending it didn't happen when it did. I couldn't stand having to sit there and listen to him talk to me like nothing ever happened, to ask if I was fine when I most certainly was not fucking fine. I didn't like him pretending that I wasn't a fucking psychopath.

"Because I'm tired," Abel said at last, making me frown at him as I dared to lift my eyes to look at his face, seeing his weary expression, "I'm tired of hating everyone. I spent centuries hating Cain. I forgave Cain for killing me, three times. I forgave Hades for years of ditching me and treating me like shit. The same goes for Malachi. They've not done a single thing since then to make me regret forgiving them. So I'm forgiving you. Besides, Hannibal, what do you want me to do? Hate you, treat you like shit, beat you up like Cain does? That'll only make everyone feel like shit. And the last thing I want to do is make you feel like shit and to make Akin feel like shit. I've been friends with Akin for years. I was there when his mother died and I was there when he thought you were gone forever. You have no idea how long he cried. I have never seen Akin cry like that before. I realized then how much he loved you. If Akin can love you, then I can learn to accept you. But you are right about one thing." I frowned as he studied my face before his expression darkened.

"I don't want to pretend what happened didn't happen. It did. And what happened to you in Styx also happened. I know you know how I feel... Or maybe worse, because at least after you hurt me, Cain was there to pick up the pieces right afterwards, to give me comfort. You didn't have that. You were forced to lay there for two weeks in pain, and afterwards, you didn't let Akin anywhere near you." He explained quietly. His words cut me like a blade. My stomach twisted and the appetite I felt was suddenly gone.

I didn't let Akin near me because I didn't want to dirty him. I didn't want someone like Akin to be around something like me. Those two weeks made me realize even more how much of a monster I was, how disgusting I was. I felt stupid for thinking I could have a normal life with Akin. I felt humiliated because I couldn't fight back, because at some point, I tried to convince myself that what they were doing was perfectly okay, that I deserved it.

And when Akin touched me afterwards, after I realized he was the one who had carried me out of Styx and who held my hand while I was sleeping, I felt like I had sullied him. I didn't want him to touch me. I also didn't understand why he was being kind to me, after finding out what I'd done. I didn't understand it.

All of that old buried pain was dredged back up and I felt like I was going to be sick.

"I'm going to find Akin." I said abruptly, dropping my eyes and starting to move past him. Abel, thankfully, stepped aside, but not before speaking.

"Just let it go, Hannibal. It happened and we can't change the past. Your future's waiting for you in the dining room. Focus on that from now on." He told me. I ducked away from him into the dining room, still feeling sick and suddenly deflated. I was surprised Ares hadn't used Abel as part of my training, but maybe even he knew there was no way that kind of thing could be forgiven and forgotten.

Abel may have forgiven me, and Akin, but it was probably going to be a while before I began to even truly forgive myself.

I made my way down the aisles of tables that had been set up and were occupied by patients, doctors, nurses, and families. I spotted Akin and Menoetius sitting at the end of one of the tables, eating and talking. Menoetius had changed out of his military uniform and was wearing a leather jacket over a t-shirt and jeans. He looked so oddly part of this world, but there was something about his expression that told me he wasn't fitting in so hot.

It become more noticeable when a soldier elbowed him hard in the back. Menoetius ground his teeth together, but said nothing as he glared at his food. Akin shot the guy a dirty look, saying something under his breath. The soldier was headed in my direction and nearly smacked into me as I refused to move from my position. He scowled.

"Move it, hybrid." He warned. I narrowed my eyes and he hesitated. I invaded his personal space to get in his face.

"You move." I said in a low hard voice. The soldier stiffened, then quickly walked past me. I watched him go before I turned and headed toward where Akin and Menoetius were, taking a seat beside Menoetius across from Akin, who beamed and reached across the table to take my hand.

"Hey, sweetie. How's Arikos?" He asked. I frowned.

"Lost," I admitted, making Akin sigh and stroke my knuckles, "I want to help him find a job." Akin brightened at that.

"We can do that. I'll put out the word and see what I can do. In the mean time, he can stay at my dad's place if he wants. Gods know there are plenty of rooms for him." He said with a nod. I smiled in relief, squeezing his hands gratefully. He smiled, then withdrew his hands so he could bring a spoonful of rice pilaf to my mouth. I took it, relieved to have at least something in my stomach, despite the not so pleasant conversation beforehand.

I caught Menoetius moving out the corner of my eye. I frowned, watching him get up. Akin looked up.

"Are you done?" He asked, perplexed at Menoetius's still full plate. Menoetius avoided our eyes as he grabbed his plate up.

"Suddenly don't feel good. See ya." Without another word, Menoetius left us and Akin sighed, setting the spoon down to rub his forehead.

"Crap, I forgot about that," He said, making me look at him in confusion and he raised an eyebrow, "Baby, I love you, but you can so oblivious... I think we should tone it down around Menoetius, just so we don't hurt his feelings." I frowned.

"Since when were you two friends, sir?" I asked. Akin smiled.

"We're not. I actually do not like him at all, but even I have to admit when something can get cruel and while I don't like the idea of having to keep it G-rated, I do know how it feels to love someone and not to be able to do anything about it." He replied. For a moment, I wasn't sure what he meant, but as Akin returned to eating and my memory of my conversation with Abel resurfaced, I realized what he meant. Akin had suffered during those few weeks when I refused to let him get near me. And I had tried hard to swallow the pathetic lump in my throat every time he reached for me, but it'd taken a lot of time.

Thankfully, Akin seemed to pick up on the fact that I wanted to move slower, so he did. And while the situation with Akin was different than Menoetius's, I could still see the connection.

"Maybe we shouldn't let Menoetius move in with us." I muttered. Akin had suggested it earlier and the idea made my stomach churn. I had allowed Menoetius a second change. That didn't mean I wanted him to be near me. I still had to resist the urge to put his head through a wall, because every time I looked at him, instant rage flooded my veins and made the monster in me salivate for revenge.

But the part of me that wasn't a monster didn't want to hurt Menoetius. That part of me wanted to at least get him back on his feet again so he could do his own thing. However, if having Menoetius around just hurt him even more, what was the point?

"He needs a place to go," Akin said gently, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze, "He needs his family there to help him adjust, sweetie. I know it's gonna be hard, but have faith. This gives you a chance to reconnect with your family, and I know it's hard, believe me. I'm still coping with the fact that I have crap tons of siblings to keep track of and Lucifer always wanting to do stuff together. I'm not used to it. But I like the idea of it. I just need to adjust too. We can work through this together." His words were reassuring, especially coupled with the way he stroked my hands. I nodded and he smiled, leaning over the table to kiss my forehead before he pushed his plate toward me.

"Now eat up, babe, we have a lot to do if we're gonna track down Atlan and alert Anexius and Xenon," He explained, then paused to shake his head before smirking, "Hades was thinking about locking them up in a play pen of some kind, but Lucifer managed to talk him out of it. Instead, we're going to keep Xenon in Hell with us so he's safe. We're thinking of keeping Anexius on Olympus too. It'd be safer to be surrounded by all those gods, including Zeus. Atlan is a tough cookie, but even he wouldn't be stupid enough to barge into Olympus guns blazing." I frowned.

"No, but he'll try to lure him out." I pointed out grimly. Akin nodded, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"I'm still not sure how. Anyway, we need to go let him and Apollo know once you're feeling up to it. After that, we'll head back to Hell and get Menoetius moved into the guest room. I'd put in a word for him to get a job, but... Something tells me no one is going to want to hire a Titan." He admitted with a helpless shrug. I nodded at that, spooning rice into my mouth and taking a deep gulp of water before looking at my plate.

Menoetius was going to have a much harder time than Arikos. At least Arikos knows what time period it is, what advancements had been made, and had a pretty likeable personality and a relatively clean background. His Egyptian features would be pretty accepted in Hell, as opposed to Hades, which was still in a very shaky treaty with Duat.

Meanwhile, Menoetius was a Titan. His bloodline alone was going to turn people against him. Even though I was sure that, technically as Hades put it, Menoetius was no longer a god. He was an artificial. His god powers were sealed shut when Hades put Menoetius's soul into a new body. It was a precaution to make sure Menoetius didn't decide last minute he wanted to destroy everything in his path. But no one else would think that way. Their thought process would cling to the "god" part, or more specifically, the "titan" title attached to his name.

It'd be a miracle of Menoetius wasn't just flat out killed again.

Then again, I was beginning to wonder if he wished he was dead again.

And that bothered me.

I held an equal amount of animosity and brotherhood with Menoetius that I couldn't explain. It was going to take time, like Akin said. I just really hoped the brotherhood won out the animosity. The last thing I needed was another enemy, and another threat around Akin.

"We're going to be okay." Akin said, making me look up to see him smiling hopefully. I almost smiled with him, but something in my gut told me that we were far from okay.

But at least for now, we had some breathing room.