Chapter Nineteen

"So wait, let me get this straight... The collar means he... submits to you? Is that really okay?"

Of course Lea would be skeptical about my relationship with Akin. I hadn't expected it before, because the idea that she'd care wasn't even possible, but in truth, it was and now she'd finally gotten us alone so she could discuss it and even though they were discussing me, no one was directly speaking to me, much to my relief. I was too tired to explain it with Akin's amount of patience, so I laid back on the sofa with my head on Akin's lap while he gently stroked my hair.

"Yes," Akin assured with a warm smile, "Everything we do is consensual. Hannibal knows that if he ever wants to end it or change something, he just has to say the safe word and speak his mind." Lea seemed to be trying to wrap her head around it with a frown, biting on the end of her thumb before looking at Akin warily.

"And you're not hurting him?" She asked. Akin shook his head.

"I'd sooner die than ever hurt him," He promised with a smile, "I know what Hannibal's limits are and I never push him to the point of scaring him or hurting him."

"But the collar? I think I'm having difficulties understanding that part."

"It's like I said, a sign of submission and ownership in our relationship," He explained, then paused to laugh quietly, "Actually, I was really afraid of giving Hannibal his collar at first. I thought it was taking things too far too fast, but when I handed it to him, his eyes lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning." Lea cocked her head curiously at that and looked at me.

"And you're positive you're okay with all of this? It's not making you feel... minuscule?" She asked. I shook my head.

"It's like he said. If it bothered me, I'd leave. If anything, I feel..." I hesitated. I'd never really gone this far in explaining my relationship with Akin. Most people just assumed we were in it for the kinky play, but it went far beyond that... If anything, my relationship with Akin made me feel safe and controlled and loved unconditionally. But I'd never said that out loud before. It felt strange confiding to my mother about it.

Actually, it just felt strange in general to talk to my mother about relationships. Was that weird? I had no idea what was an odd topic to discuss with parents or not. It seemed to differ from person to person. Akin, for example, refused to discuss the sexual part of our relationship with Lucifer. According to Akin, it was icky and none of Lucifer's damn business what we did. Meanwhile, Alaric had no problem approaching Lucifer for help or advice in that department. So it was different for every person, and it was almost like a different parent for each child.

What would Lea be open to? What would she rather not hear?

Now that I thought about it; I really didn't know anything about Lea. I knew the basics. I knew her fighting style and the fact that she liked shopping and that somehow she and Hades were on friendly terms. She loved make-up and perfume and seemed to opt for boho clothing most of the time.

But I didn't know her.

"It's all right," Lea said after my pause, and she smiled, "It's not particularly any of my business. I just wanted to make sure you were happy and well. That's all that matters." Akin smiled at that and I could feel his body tense with excitement. I wasn't sure why he was excited, though. I just closed my eyes again and continued to rest my head on his lap.

"We should go out for dinner tonight," Akin said after a moment, making me peek an eye open to see Lea blink in surprise, "There's a lot of nice places down on Mercury Avenue. I'm sure we'll find something we all agree on. Hannibal likes a lot of Asian and Indian foods, though." Lea smiled.

"I've taken quite a liking to Japanese food myself. I went with Hades and Lucifer to this nice little restaurant down on the corner. I can't remember what it was called for the life of me. They have some strange words, but I'll recognize it when I see it." She offered. Akin nodded.

"I can do that. So it's settled. Dinner tonight on Mercury Avenue." He declared with a smile. Lea looked thrilled.

"Wonderful! I look forward to it. It'll give me an excuse to go shopping." She added with a wink. Akin's face lit up.

"Ooh! That sounds like a good idea. Have you visited Banaña yet? It's fantastic and I hear there's a six for two sale going on with anything over forty credits." He mused aloud, making Lea's eyes widen and she clenched her fists eagerly.

"Oh, perfect! I could really use a new pair of shoes."

"Aunt Lea, you bought sixty pairs of shoes since you got here," Xenon's voice groaned from behind us, "The last thing you need is another pair." Lea leapt to her feet and I sat up to lean on the back of the sofa as Akin rose up. Xenon walked into the lounge with Dorean right at his side, looking bright and happy. Xenon looked completely healed, as if I'd never taken a swipe at him and thinking about it made my stomach churn. He had scraped his coat for a black low cut long-sleeve shirt and matching jeans, and despite the healing, I noticed the tense way he carried himself as he approached us.

"Oh, Xenon, sweetheart," Lea said gently, approaching him to hug him very gently before stepping back to pat his cheek, "I'm so glad you're all right. Was Hades nice to you?" Xenon stared at her as if she'd grown another head and I made a choking sound that Akin whacked me in the back of the head gently for. Lea raised an eyebrow.

"Aunt Lea," Xenon said slowly, "I think you're one of the few people in the universe who thinks Hades is nice to anyone. Did you not see the shiner he gave Lucifer a week ago?" Lea tsked and whacked his arm playfully.

"Oh, please. Hades told me Lucifer was asking for it."

"What? Was Lucifer talking about giving food to homeless orphans again?"

"Oh, stop it. You drama queen," Lea scolded, then paused to give me a look, "And you. What was that noise for?" I stared at her blankly.

"What noise?" I asked. Lea tried to mimic the sound, making Xenon and Lea laugh out loud. I scowled.

"I sounded nothing like that."

"Yes, you did. A dying walrus sound."

"Excuse me?"

"That's right," Lea said, then wagged her finger at me before turning to flick Xenon in the nose to make him stop laughing, "Both of you should be nicer to Hades. He's done quite a lot for you two. If it wasn't for him, I'm not sure where you two be. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go thank him for being a wonderful host and friend. Akin, watch these two. Who knows what they'll do when someone's not watching them?" Akin grinned and wrapped his arms around my neck from behind, placing a kiss on top of my head.

"No problem! And if you were serious about the pre-dinner shopping, let me know and we can head into town together." He said, making Lea beam. Dorean made a noise of delight.

"You're going shopping? Have you guys been to Banaña yet?" He asked. Akin grinned.

"I like your thinking. Want to join? If Lea's up for it anyway." He added. Lea clapped her hands twice.

"That sounds perfect! How about we meet in the lobby around three?"

"Sounds good to me." Dorean and Akin agreed. Lea walked out and Xenon watched her go, grimacing, before he turned back to me.

"I feel like the man was sucked right out of me just standing here listening to these guys. Want to go do something that isn't bathed in sparkles and perfume?" He asked, making me smirk. Dorean elbowed him and Akin snorted, folding his arms over his chest after ruffling my hair.

"You're just jealous that you have no sense of style." He responded. Dorean threw his hands up.

"Thank you! I've been trying to tell him that he needs to try some red. He wears enough black to supply Hot Topic." He exclaimed and Akin laughed. I wrinkled my nose and Xenon rolled his eyes, putting a hand on his hip and giving me a droll stare.

"Back me up here." He insisted. I shrugged at that as I reclined back on the sofa, my arms folded behind my head.

"They've got a point." I responded, making Dorean and Akin grin from ear-to-ear. Xenon made a noise of supreme disgust.

"Well, thank you. Thank you for your help, dickwad. Anyway," He drawled, frowning slowly, "Heard you had some things to tell us about your wonderful visit to Atlantis?" I hesitated at that and Akin gave Xenon a withering glare.

"Really? He just got back. He doesn't want to have to talk about it right away. Give him a break, Xenon. Let us have at least one day off before you go all soldier on my baby. He's probably exhausted." He chided, making Xenon scowl.

"Akin, the war isn't going to wait for Hannibal to recup. We have to discuss what we can now."

"Excuse me? Don't think you can talk to me like I'm some--"

"Master," I said, making Akin give me a pointed glare for cutting him off and I gave him an apologetic stare, "It's all right, please. I want to get it off my chest now. Go ahead and go with Dorean and Lea into town. Xenon and I will meet you on Mercury Avenue around eight. Is that all right?" Akin studied me intently. I knew he didn't want to leave me here alone with Xenon. It was always inconvenient that whenever we were together, I showed up with more scars than usual, but I don't think that was possible right now and not to mention, I wasn't in the mood to argue with Xenon. I was going to relay what information I had, then rest until Atlan's decision to attack Hades's border.

"Fine," Akin said after a moment, frowning, "But I want you to call me in a couple of hours to check in. And you can't be late. And I'll set something more appropriate out in our room for you to wear. And check in with Hades so I know you're okay physically. If I call Hades in three hours and you haven't checked in with him, I can and will spank you. Got it?" I nodded. Akin visibly relaxed and hugged me around the neck again, kissing me on the top of my head, then my temple, then my cheek.

"Be safe, baby, please. If I ever lost you like that again, I might actually just let Hades kill me." He murmured. I swallowed at that, unnerved, before he kissed me again and left with Dorean from the room, leaving me alone with Xenon, who eyed me warily.

"You can't possibly tell me he doesn't bother you when he talks to you like you're a dog." He said dryly. I gave him a blank stare.

"Why would it bother me? He's worried. I appreciate it." I responded. Xenon arched a brow, looking surprised as he came over to sit in the armchair near the sofa.

"Wow, I think that's the most honest thing you've ever said to me, aside from calling me an asshole," He added under his breath, making me snort, then he shook his head and looked at me, "I hate to force you to talk about it too early, but it's better to do it now and not have to stress about it later. I want to hear it fresh in your mind. So start from the beginning... What the hell happened to you, Hannibal?" His question rang hollow in my head.

What the hell happened to you, Hannibal?

Good question. I could tell him everything word for word, but even I was having trouble coming to terms with everything. The wounds the Moirai tore open were still fresh and raw, simmering with anger and hurt at being lied to and used. In their eyes, I was nothing, but a tool to abide by what the Source had planned, and to be honest, I wanted nothing more than to give the Source the finger and go on with my life. And I would've too, if the life of every living creature in the universe didn't hinge on my taking Atlan out.

I took a deep breath and started to tell Xenon about my suspicions of Lea's story, about how I went to see the Moirai and listened to their prophecy. I watched the way Xenon's white eyes widened for a split second before returning to normal, the way his teeth sank into his bottom lip thoughtfully, his thumbs twiddling as if he were nervous just hearing me talk about it. And somehow, I found myself staring at him more intensely.

He looked more like Atlan than the other Khalian. The long black hair, the shape of his nose and eyes, the way his jaw ticked when he was angry or annoyed. The only difference was the shape of his mouth, the red streaks in his hair, and his piercing white eyes that matched that of the Khalian who'd attacked me and hunted me down like an animal. It chilled me to the bone to stare at those eyes, so I looked away as I continued to explain to him how I got to Atlantis.

"Wait," Xenon interrupted me at some point, looking pale, "I have another brother?"

"Had," I corrected, watching his expression darken and I grimaced, "Arikos was a good person, Xenon. He made a mistake."

"He turned you over to Atlan. I think he got what he deserved."

"No, he didn't," I muttered and Xenon appeared both skeptical and surprised at my defense of him, "Anyway, that's not the point... The point is that there's something big coming, Xenon. And I'm at the center of it and I really, really do not want to be."

"The Moirai gave you a prophecy, though," Xenon pointed out grimly, "Whether you want it or not, it's going to happen and you have to choose wisely. If you don't, the entire universe could collapse. You'd think if the Source really wanted Atlan gone, they'd just tell the Moirai to kill Atlan and that's it. Why would they give you an ultimatum? That just makes it even harder and more deadly should you fail."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I said dryly. Xenon rolled his eyes.

"Oh, trust me. I'm not underestimating you. You're forgetting-- We kicked each other's asses centuries ago. The only reason we were broken up was because of the things going on around us. I know how deadly you are in a fight. I've seen you take down entire armies all on your own."

"That's just it," I said in frustration, making Xenon frown, "I can't control it, the god of chaos inside me that Atlan gave me. You saw me out there on the docks. I can't tell the difference between enemy and friend when I go chaotic like that. Everything turns red. It's like... It's like this demon is inside me and controlling me. Why do you think I depend so much on Akin's rules and regulations?" Xenon looked a bit sheepish.

"I dunno. I figured you were just screwed up."

"I am screwed up," I muttered, making Xenon sigh, "Don't give me that. You and I both know its true. I'm one step this side of fucking psychosis. If it wasn't for Akin, I probably would've torn the streets of Styx apart. Just like I did to Abel and Arikos and--"

"Stop it," Xenon commanded, making me glare at him, "Don't do that to yourself. Hannibal, I know you're a better man than the monster Atlan, and Iapetus, tried to make you into. There's a person underneath of that shield you put up to keep everyone back. In case you haven't noticed, this is the first time we've actually had a decent conversation that wasn't layered thick with sarcasm and bad jokes. We're really talking right now, and the fact that you're terrified of hurting people just goes to show how much of a man you really are. How much of a god and a ruler you are." I frowned.

"Xenon, you weren't there when I made the mistakes that I did. I--"

"Everyone makes mistakes," Xenon replied quietly, making me frown, "I spent several thousand years hating the only brother who ever gave a shit about my stupid ass. And somehow, he's managed to forgive me and look at me with the same love in his eyes he did all those years ago. If Anexius can forgive me for being a dick, then everyone else can forgive you for your mistakes." I glared at him.

"You didn't make the kind of mistakes I have. Xenon, I raped someone. I killed people. I tortured people. And the monster inside me loved it."

"But did you love it?" Xenon asked. I clenched my teeth, but said nothing. Xenon nodded.

"See? Hannibal, if the Moirai have faith in you, so should everyone else. I know I do."

"I don't see how you can. Xenon, I've nearly killed you on several different occasions."

"Oh, please," Xenon drawled, making me arch a brow and he met my skeptical stare with one of his own, "I can so take you on at the right place at the right time." I rolled my eyes.

It was strange, though, to sit here and have a normal conversation with Xenon. Even if it did involve the fate of the universe, I felt almost... normal. Did normal people talk like this? It was a level of familiarity and closeness that I wasn't accustomed to, and it unnerved me, so I cleared my throat and stood up.

"Look, I should probably go check in with Hades and get it over with before I call Akin. I'm gonna make a pit stop in town before we meet up for dinner. Let's try to keep the details on the down-low until I can explain them more clearly. We should set up a meeting with the others tomorrow morning." I explained, and Xenon nodded, getting to his feet.

"Sounds good. I'll go talk to Lucifer about it," He responded, making me nod and I started to move, but Xenon cleared his throat and I frowned, turning to look at him as he pinned me with a sincere stare, "And for what it's worth... I'm really glad you're all right, Hannibal." He held his hand out to me. I swallowed uneasily, then reached out to take his hand, but it made me uncomfortable.

It wasn't just the intimacy of it that put me at unease, but the fact that Xenon was touching me. Now that the glow of reunion had faded, I just realized how dirty I felt. I didn't tell Xenon anything about what his siblings had done. I didn't really want to ruin his image of them any further... and there were some things that a guy wanted to keep private. This was one of those things.

I left Xenon to go back to the room first. If I didn't, Hades's little physical would reveal everything that happened in Atlantis and the last thing I needed was that prick laughing at me. I could heal as much of the damage as I could now and hope to the gods above he assumed Akin and I romped before I showed up there.

My powers were still waned significantly. Teleportation was impossible, and I couldn't even send objects flying around the room or a shampoo bottle into my hand. The hot bath water stung my wounds and turned the water a soft shade of pink as I seethed through clenched teeth. I sent as much of my power as I could into healing the major damages, but by the time I was finished healing open infected wounds, I barely had enough to heal the parts of myself I didn't want Hades to get near.

Hopefully, he'd be so disgusted by me he wouldn't even want to touch me. He'd just give me a quick once over and proclaim me healthy.

I scrubbed my skin gently, gritting my teeth at the scars left behind from the attacks on Atlantis. To the untrained eye, someone wouldn't even be able to tell that I had new scars, but I knew the moment Akin and I laid down together tonight, he'd notice and panic. Maybe I could talk him into just going to sleep tonight...

I took a deep breath and finally lifted myself out of the bathtub, drying off and heading to the bed where, sure enough, Akin had set up an outfit for me. I pulled on the leather pants and a black long-sleeve shirt, a pair of steel-toed boots. I paused to look at the full length mirror Akin insisted we have set up near the bed, frowning at my appearance.

Still scarred. And thankfully Akin gave me a sedate outfit that covered just about everything. I looked down at my hands, studying them and suddenly grateful that Drak at least had a little mercy on me and didn't scar them too severely. The only problem was rooted in Zelus's attack in the forest...

Half of my right hand was paralyzed. I couldn't move my middle finger, ring finger, or pinkie finger more than a faint twitch. It probably wouldn't heal for quite a while, if at all.

Magic could only do so much and part of it was depended on my mental state. It was one of the many reasons Raven had lost his ability to teleport and heal himself. The effects his attacks had on him had damaged him in ways that even therapists shuddered over. They blamed it on PTSD and called it good, but it only hurt Raven more...

Thinking about Raven made my stomach clench.

I had to see him before I went out to dinner tonight.

I took a deep breath and left the bedroom, hurrying toward the laboratory downstairs where Hades was sure to be prowling. To be honest, I could think of no perfect place for a sick twisted god to be dwelling. The god, for all his violent evil badassery, was a science dweeb. His obsession with bio-medical engineering and magical studies was crazy. He'd gone as far as to create his own race of creatures-- the artificials. Creatures created from a demented combination of magic and science; as Hades explained it, the science was the building blocks and the magic was the glue that held it all together.

I think he just liked shoving things in jars and shaking them up, like humans did with light bugs.

The thought made me shudder, but I composed myself as I approached the laboratory doors before pushing them open and coming inside.

The room was made up of three long aisles flanked by wide steel counters decorated with scientific research equipment, glass cabinets and drawers and display cases. On the far end of the room were a row of three life-size test tubes that were currently empty and hooked up to several large computers. The far right of the room was completely blocked off by curtains and a glass office where Hades was on the computer, typing on some strange program that looked like a bunch of number gibberish to me, but whatever it was, it was making Hades smile like an idiot.

I approached the door to the glass office slowly so as not to spook him, not that I needed to bother, because Hades shut the program down and that legendary Hades sneer came onto his face as he stood up and turned to face me.

"Step one foot in my happy place, hybrid, and you will wish Atlan gutted you." He threatened. I said nothing, just arched a brow in silence and stepped aside as he glided past me, holding himself like he owned not only an entire realm, but this one and the next. I rolled my eyes, hooking my thumbs in my pockets as I followed him toward the curtained area.

We passed another curtained area, but I froze as I caught a glimpse of the person inside laying on the bed. I stopped following Hades, ignoring his warning not to touch anything as I doubled back and pushed the curtain aside slowly, my stomach sinking.

Zetnos.

He looked nothing like he did in my visions. In my visions, he was bright and happy, talkative and friendly. Despite his cold, dark realm, his lack of personal items, Zetnos appeared to be one of the most open and friendly people in my past... But now he looked broken and exhausted. He was hooked up to so many beeping humming machines, and a huge tube was shoved down his throat, hooked around his head so it stayed in place, and heavy purple bags under his closed eyes. His skin was a deathly pale, his lips chapped and pale.

He looks dead.

"He's not," Hades said, appearing beside me with a frown, "He's still in a coma." I clenched my teeth at that.

"He'll wake up when he's ready to," Hades continued, then clapped me so hard on the back that I almost fell to the floor, and I shot him a dirty look that he swiftly ignored, "But we didn't come here to pull an Edward Cullen and watch people while they sleep... or when they're in comas. We're here because Akin is a pain in the ass." I narrowed my eyes, but said nothing. I took one last glance back at Zetnos before I had to look away. I didn't even know him that well, or remember much about him, but it still gave me an odd phantom pain in my chest to see him like that.

I followed Hades to another curtained off section where a bed was.

"All right, let's get this over with. Shirt off, mouth open, move and I will cut you." Hades said without looking at me as he rummaged through a metal cabinet. I frowned, but didn't say anything as I removed my shirt and opened my mouth as Hades turned back around with a small swab stick. He ran it around the inside of my mouth before putting it in a vial and setting it aside. He proceeded to take blood, listen to my heart, things I normally would've killed someone over, but I was too tired to get angry with Hades.

At least, that's what I thought until he was doing the physical part of the examination and dipped his hands too low. A growl started in my throat and I snatched his hand back, but instead of responding rudely, Hades paused, arching a brow at me. I let go of his hand and sank back against the bed, watching him with a glare.

Didn't give two shits how professional everyone thought he was, or any doctor for that matter.

No one touched me there.

"You know, when Akin told me to give you the full examination, he meant that spot too." He said drolly. I glared daggers at him.

"Touch me and Lucifer will have to find a new boy toy." I threatened. Hades rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please." He waved his hand at me and an unseen force slammed me back down into the bed. I tried to lift my hand to blast him back, but my arm refused to move. It was like a huge invisible weight was crushing me and it almost made it hard to breath as Hades moved to grope at my thighs. I hissed at him and bared my fangs at a sensation that reminded all too well of what happened in Atlantis. Images of Drak's hands grabbing at my throat and Zelus buried my face against the hot sand burned through my memory, and I felt like their hands were groping me all over again.

"Hades, stop!" I snarled, pulling against the invisible restraints.

"Haven't seen you panicked like this before." Hades said with a smirk. I glared at him, unable to find words to throw back in his face, and he seemed to be amused by it for a moment before his smirk faded and the weight on me lifted, making me gasp. He frowned and took a step back to stare at me intently. I breathed hard, sitting up slowly and eyeing him cautiously.

That momentary feeling of helplessly stole my breath away and made my body ache in familiar places that made me sick to my stomach. The surge of vomit started up my throat and I thought I was just going to spill the contents of my stomach out onto the floor, but Hades conjured a trash can and shoved it into my hands just in time for me to vomit inside.

My muscles quivered and my throat burned as I clenched my teeth, seething.

"So that's what happened in Atlantis." Hades stated. I blinked, then jerked my head up to pin him with a glare. Hades said nothing more as he went to the counter to put the contents he'd collected from me into a glass container that had my name labeled on it. I stared at my name written there in sharp neat handwriting, professional, yet somehow uniquely Hades. I looked up as Hades set the jar aside and tossed my shirt on the bed beside me.

"Examination is finished." He responded. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"And what're you going to tell Akin when he calls to double check that I even came here?" I asked. It'd be so like him to lie just so he could make me uncomfortable on purpose.

"Normally, yes," Hades said, answering my thoughts and making my stomach shrink as I suddenly remembered one of the new reasons I hated Hades to the core of my soul, "In fact, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to hurt you... Except it's already happened, again. And here I was thinking Styx was just enough punishment for you, and then Atlan decides to step forward and do my job." I clenched my teeth and snatched my shirt up, shoving the trash can aside and jerking my shirt on.

"Thanks for nothing, asshole." I snapped at him, moving for the curtain, but I slammed into an invisible force and let out a foul expletive, whirling on Hades, who stared at me intensely.

"Don't get me wrong," Hades drawled, making me curl my lip at him, "I still hate you and I always will. If you were to die tomorrow, I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep or spare you a single thought. But that doesn't mean I condone what happened to you." If I could laugh, I would've laughed. Instead, I raked Hades with a less than impressed sneer.

"Oh, please. If you were there, you would've been doing belly rolls. Don't fucking patronize me, Hades. I'm really not in the mood."

"Whatever," Hades replied dryly, then grabbed something from one of the drawers, tossing a bottle of pills at me and a strange jar of gel, "Apply that twice daily. It'll speed up your natural healing process and the pills are anti-anxiety. Now get out of here before I decide to send you back to Atlantis myself." I glared at him.

"I don't need your stupid meds."

"No, but Akin will want proof you came here. Looks like he doesn't trust you not to come here." Hades added snidely. Even though I didn't show it on my face, his words cut me to the quick. Why wouldn't Akin trust me? I'd always done what he told me to before. Why was now any different? Why wouldn't he trust me? Was it just Hades screwing with my head, or did he know something I didn't? It made my stomach hurt and I didn't want to stand around and listen anymore, and thankfully he dropped whatever force field had prevented me from leaving earlier.

I left the room and dropped the gel off at the room, pausing to frown at the bottle of pills.

I had never taken anti-anxiety meds before. Raven was on them for a couple months after he returned from Hades after his attack. He seemed to do better with them; would they work the same with me? It'd be nice to go a little while without worrying about every little thing... including Hades's words from earlier.

I popped the top off and swallowed a couple of the pills, stuffed a few more pills into my pocket for later and set the bottle back in the room.

I left the palace and headed over to Raven's, taking my time as I went. While I was relieved to be back in Hell, there was a strange ache inside me that missed being in the forest on Atlantis. Granted, the whole hunting me down and attacking me part kind of really sucked, the forest itself had been a huge comfort. I wasn't even sure Hell had many forests, and even if it did, they probably weren't like Atlantis forests. The unique chatter and singing of insects, of tropical birds and phoenixes creating a symphony of music in the tree canopy. The smell of the ocean, crisp and clean mingled with fresh soil and sweet flowers.

Now I was back in Hell, and all I could smell was rich foods from the restaurants, smoke from the bars, that after rain scent that hung in the air. It felt strange; familiar, yet somehow foreign. I shook my head and continued on my way until I was in Portius, approaching the apartment complex where Raven lived with his boyfriend, Devereaux. I wasn't too keen on seeing Devereaux again. It wasn't that I hated the guy, so much as he seemed intent on watching Raven and I interact, like he was unsure about our relationship. I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes whenever I felt him watching us.

The guy was paranoid.

But I suppose, I liked that about him. It meant Raven would always be safe with him.

I entered the complex and went upstairs and knocked, waiting for only a second before the door opened and Raven was standing there, his eyes widening when he saw it was me. His hair was a little shorter and he wore his signature black turtleneck, gloves, and snug jeans, covering himself from neck to toe as usual.

"Hannibal!" Raven exclaimed, then came forward and shocked me when he grabbed me in a fierce hug. I didn't know how to react at first. I was only gone for two weeks, but it felt like centuries considering the fact that Raven, who was so intent on keeping people at a certain physical distance, would come forward and hug me like this. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, so I managed to hug him back briefly before he stepped back to look at me, his expression one of surprise, relief, and concern.

"Where the hell were you? Do you have any idea how much I was freaking out? Are you all right?" Raven demanded. I couldn't resist smirking at that. Somehow, it pleased me that Raven missed me.

"I'm," I paused and Raven cocked his head, and I couldn't let myself lie to him when he looked at me like that, so I sighed, "Actually, I'm not really all right, but... It'll pass." Raven's lips pursed and I could see a haunted glint pass through his eyes, like he knew exactly how I felt. I was suddenly glad I came to see Raven, to talk to him before everyone else so I could sort out my thoughts.

"Come in." Raven said, stepping aside. I gave him a nod and came into the cozy apartment that smelled like fair food and leather. The living room connected to the kitchen, only separated by a breakfast bar that was currently occupied by Terry, who was eating his Fruit Loops while half-asleep and Dev was pouring coffee into a mug, shirtless and in a pair of ratty old sweatpants.

"Hey." Dev greeted me with a curt nod. I just responded with my own nod as I followed Raven to the small balcony outside their living room windows. Once we had some privacy, Raven and I took a seat on the wooden loungers.

"Let's start easy," Raven said calmly, "Where were you?"

"Atlantis," I muttered, and Raven's eyes widened in concern, "And yes, it's as awful as you think it is... Well, the parts where there are people. Sleeping in the Xandria catacombs and running through the woods was paradise in comparison." Raven winced, rubbing at his arm uneasily as he tried to imagine it, but I don't think even his imagination was that screwed up. He swallowed for a moment and looked up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe," I admitted with a shrug, rubbing at the back of my neck, "I don't know. Akin and Lea and the others will want to know what happened, but I don't think I'm ready to feed them the full details."

"Then don't," Raven replied simply, "It's not their nightmare; it's yours. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them about it, then don't."

"If it were that easy, I wouldn't be debating it," I murmured, making Raven frown, "I tell Akin everything, Raven. You know that. I've told him everything about me, except maybe a few grisly childhood details, but that was to protect him. Now they're going to want to know what happened in Atlantis and what do I tell them? I don't even really want Akin to touch me and I know that's going to hurt him." Raven pursed his lips tightly as the full weight of what happened to me seemed to hit him. He looked away for a moment, elbow on his knee and hand over his mouth. I wasn't sure if he was thinking about his own horrors or if he was trying not to react to mine. It was hard to tell with that faraway glow in his eyes, and he was silent for a few more minutes before he turned to me.

"Akin will understand," Raven said softly as he lowered his arms to rest on his knees, "Devereaux understood, a little bit anyway. They seem to have this mindset... where they think they can change what happened to us, that they're different, and they are, don't get me wrong. We both know that Akin would never do to you what-what was done to you... But that's not the point. It's closing your eyes, trying to feel bliss and being haunted by people who tainted something sacred to you. It has nothing to do with them. And they need to realize that. I think... when you're ready anyway, you should tell Akin, but tell him gently and let him know that it's not his fault, that he isn't on the same level as those people who hurt you." I swallowed at that. I could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke, the slight stutter as he tried to focus on the task at hand.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," I offered, making Raven look at me in confusion, "I didn't mean to bring any bad memories to present." Raven shook his head quickly.

"No, no, Hannibal, it's not that. It's just.... I think I know how my family felt when they found out. It's like... Like something making my stomach knot up. It's knowing that something awful was happening to someone close to you and you weren't there to stop it... I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you and I know I couldn't have been, but that doesn't make it any less painful." He admitted quietly. His words resonated with me, and I blinked, looking at him.

Someone close to you.

While I knew this whole time that Raven and I had a special connection, as if he were the brother I'd always wanted, hearing him say it flat out like that... It was nice. It was nice to talk to someone who understood, and someone who gave a shit.

"A lot happened in Atlantis," I said after a moment, making Raven look up, "A lot more..." I continued on, explaining from the moment Arikos hit me over the head to the moment I came back on the Ferry, about the attacks, about Arikos's death, Atlan's mocking me and the collar, about Drak, even the forest spirit who called himself Atlantis, right down to the destiny that was brutally shoved down my throat before I was even born. The entire time, Raven listened intently, his eyes widening every so often and his expression twisting in sympathetic pain.

"Oh my god, and all that happened in two weeks," Raven breathed once I was finished, "That's a lot, Hannibal. I'm surprised you didn't go insane."

"Hard to go insane when I wasn't sane in the first place," I retorted, making Raven let out a nervous "heh" before I sighed, raking a hand through my hair, leaning forward with my arms on my knees, pinching the bridge of my nose, "I don't know. I wish I had the time to stop and think about everything, but I don't. Atlan is planning his attack on Hades soon, and without Hades there, it's going to make things even harder for them. Not only that, but apparently I need to fight Atlan."

"And save the universe," Raven said grimly, "And here I thought I was royally fucked."

"The Moirai fuck us all the time," I muttered dryly, "And if I ever get my hands on Atropos, I might destroy the universe I was meant to save."

"Could be worse," Raven said after a moment, making me give him a droll stare and he shrugged, "At least it's not raining." I rolled my eyes and stared up at the dark clouds over head, expecting it to rain any moment now before I looked back at him.

"No, but there's a storm coming... A big one and it's name is Atlan."