Ashlynn

I walk around, just wandering through the long halls, passing libraries, seating areas, bedroom after bedroom. One door led to another, I couldn't seem to find the end, though I was somewhat grateful, it gave me time to think. And I needed that desperately right now. I was starting to get the flashbacks to settle, they weren't random spurts of pain anymore, and I found myself sighing in relief. No one should have to go through that, were my thoughts.

Even Nickolas shouldn't.

The thought came, and I knew this had just become a personal thing. I attempted at pushing the thought back, telling myself no personal attachments, they got people hurt, and I can't afford it. I had lost Donovan an hour before, him saying he was going to bed, and if I needed him he was there. God, me and him have been friends so long, a decade almost. It was nice to have a person to trust, I let him in against my immediate personal judgment, but he has yet to make me regret it, and whether I want to be or not, I'm grateful, I needed someone. Hadn't had someone since Lucy, and I desperately needed him.

And he's never let me down.

Something I don't take lightly. Years of betrayal have ruined my trust, I've never given it lightly. I hear a crash in a room ahead, making me stop in my tracks in hesitant impulse before I walk up to the door about to demand who the hell thought they could disrupt my thoughts, but once I get there my mouth forgets to work and I stand there looking around at the mess that has been made, the books of the hundredth library thrown everywhere, a lamp broken on the hardwood floor, the sleekly classic furniture disarrayed and wall thoroughly ruined by fists of someone very strong. I glance around looking for the one who caused the havoc and find Nickolas, his back to me, his frame leaning against the wall opposite of me, his arms supporting him.

My heart dropped into my stomach without my consent as I look at him, knowing exactly what he's feeling. He's watching his sister die, slowly, and soon, painfully.

"What the hell happened here?" I ask dryly, "Did a tornado come through here and I missed it?"

He turned to me, and I knew right away that he was drunk, I mean the near empty Crown Royal in his left hand explained that much. "Watch for the broken glass, hybrid." he merely replies gesturing towards the floor infront of me, revealing that the one bottle he held in his hand had not been the first. Damn, I knew us vampires could hold liquor well but he must be a little out of it at least. I sigh and sidestep the broken shards.

"She doesn't look good, does she?" I ask my voice surprisingly soft. He tips his head back the amber liquid running into his mouth.

"Well, she is dying, Ashlynn." His voice was hoarse and the way his face dropped into a look I knew all too well made me relate, making me hurt for him. Don't get personal, Ash.

I sigh looking around, "Well, I'm not sure this how to solve it."

"She's dying Ashlynn, and I can't doing anything about it, do you understand how utterly frustrating this is? How painful it is to watch her die, she's slipping through my fingers, and it seems no matter how much I try to hold on, she still goes, a little every day. I get to watch her do that, and nothing can help except for your father, and no one even knows where the hell he is." I listen to him rant and vent, his voice rising with every statement, his hands are thrown up into the air and into his mess of dark blonde hair, bringing attention to his healing knuckles.

"Trust me, Nickolas, I can understand," I say quietly. This was not the night to do this, my defenses were broken and weakened, I can't put on my face, I'm getting attached. I curse myself. He looks at me, and I find his eyes glistening with tears. Oh God, this is bad, where's Elizabeth?

"Then you know how much I need your help?" he says walking up to me, I don't answer fast enough apparently, because he takes ahold of my shoulders his eyes turning crazed with a frantic need, his fingers digging in, the pain of what was to be a permanent wound because of him started etching its way into my skin, the unfamiliar pain that only mortals get shocks a small whine from me unknowingly. It's been so long since I've felt physical pain. And only he could inflict it.

He bends down his face close to mine, his gaze burning holes into mine, "Ashlynn. If you can relate, then you understand how much I need your confirmation. Tell me, promise me, Ashlynn!" he yells his voice rised. It's in the middle of the night, he's going to wake someone. I should tell him to shut up, I should cuss him out for talking to me like he is, I've never let anyone get away with this, but the thing is, I know his pain, I know it so deeply I can't bring myself to yell at him like my parental guardians did, I can't bring myself to slap him out of it like my more abusive guardians did. I just couldn't, and I knew I wouldn't.

I found his eyes with mine, tears forming in my own because of the memories, those horrid memories and in an instant I had flung my arms around his neck burying my face in the crook of his neck his arms coming around me hugging me close, my thoughts screaming at me as they were, telling me I was getting too personal, and too soft, I replied with a soft voice,

"Consider it promised."