My mind rallies with bloodlust

But my heart twists with remorse

....

"Who are you?"

I opened my eyes to see them, their eyes watching me with vacancy. Dozens of familiar faces remained upturned to me, all wearing thin lipped frowns. I recognised my mother, her greying hair twisted into a knot. I saw Hannah's green eyes, Fin's blonde curls, Aarons freckled nose, Aleena's slitted pupils.

I was positioned on a stage, awaiting a trial. I was alone, in direct spotlight to the gathering clouds above.

I glanced to my left to see Esme, dressed in a violet coat. She didn't glance in my direction as her calculating gaze swept over the rows of people. Her purple hair cascaded down her neck in great waves, curling at the ends. In her gloved hands was a single, white rose.

Swallowing, I reverted my gaze back to the many people who watched me, like a predator watches its prey.

"Who is Renee Aurora Argent?" Esme said, her voice seething like thunder. I tasted blood in my mouth. Who am I? It was a single question, but one that promised agony. I couldn't answer it truthfully. Did my actions speak for my identity, or my words?

Did people say Renee Argent and think of my brown eyes, curled hair, long fingers? Or was I the grave stones, the blood on my hands, the yellowing eyes? Was I a silenced cry, a promised death, a girl destined for Hell? Was I a lie, a dead man walking, the catalyst for a crumbling community? Or was I my father? Was I the monster people claimed me to be?

The beast – The First Descendant? The ticking time bomb?

Breaking out of my thoughts, I watched as my mother broke from the crowd. It was at that moment when I recognised all the people gathered below me were dressed in a single grey gown, as thin as a sheet. White roses were clutched in steady fingers.

Her face was blank as she neared the stage, her footsteps echoing up the stairs. She passed Esme in silence and stopped directly in front of me. No recognition was in her eyes, just a blankness that chilled me to my bones. I stared at her, at this woman who birthed me.

I remembered her as she was. I remembered her lips arch into a smile as she held me to her heart. I remembered her fingers brush my busted lip. I remembered her warmth as she embraced me. But I also remembered the pain she had caused. The silent house, the shadows, the empty bottles on the table. She wasn't who she used to be.

She wasn't my mother.

Her heart shaped face was too angular, too jutted. She was a jagged piece of her own reflection. I could picture what she thought of me. The girl who fell in love with a beast. A daughter who killed her father. A disgrace to the Argent name. But as the white rose slipped from her fingers to land at my feet, her words were not one of menace.

"Brave." My mother's words echoed around the clearing. I held her gaze until she dropped it, retreating from the stage back to the crowd. Swallowing, I glanced down to see the white rose at my feet, its petals staining red.

Ethan was the next to enter the stage. His blue eyes captured mine as he positioned himself in front of me. I shivered against his irises and the way they held mine. I couldn't understand the expression on his face, nor the intensity in his gaze.

"Inhumane." His words were silenced by the rose falling at my feet. I felt my throat constrict as he held my gaze. I could feel the pointed hatred seethe off him, the directed fixation of anger. As he walked away, I glanced at Esme, hoping she wouldn't acknowledge the redness of my eyes. However, she was only watching the crowd, her expression unreadable.

Aleena replaced her brother. In this world, she was healthier. Her cheek bones were not as predominant, and the bags under her eyes were faded. Her nails dug into the stem of her rose.

"Dangerous." The white rose clotted with red before falling at my feet.

Distant strangers filled her place. Some I knew from my childhood, some I barley recognised. Brine was among the few who I was happy to see. His rose had been labelled Innocent.

And so the words kept coming, some pointed, some genuine, some hateful. Vacant eyes had stared at me. Frowns had been exchanged, bloodied roses had been gathered. 'Deadly, gracious, resilient, beautiful, manipulative, suffocating.'

I was everything I hated.

'Conceited, determined, courageous, stubborn.'

Blood was seeping at my feet. Petals were wilted with crimson. Thorns began to dig into my flesh as the roses formed a circle at my legs. Soon there was two grey gowned figures left. One occupied a head full of brown hair, the other blonde curls.

I met Aarons eyes as he halted in front of me. His eyelashes dusted his fringe, like they always had. He studied me, his green eyes like great spheres of emerald. His lips were downcast, not twisted into his malicious smirk.

I could see his beauty still. It was in his dusted freckles, his angular jaw, the softness in his gaze. His feminine juxtaposition, the veins circling his arms. When his face was slackened, he was the boy I had loved.

His white rose perched in his long fingers. His words slammed into me as his white rose descended. "Weak."

And then there was Isaac. He met my gaze as Aaron returned to the crowd. His tricoloured eyes fixated on me, as blank as a mirror. He looked younger then he was. The corner of his eyes weren't wrinkled with worry, the lines in his face erased in youth. He was every bit as Isaac as I remembered him, only his eyes were not weighted with grief.

I searched his eyes. The boy I loved. The boy I love. It had been so long since I fell into his arms. I missed the way his laughter bubbled from his chest. The way his nose crinkled in delight. The sudden blazing of his irises in the setting sun.

I missed the old him.

As I stared at his stimulation, I wondered where he was. Had he survived the three sections? Or was he drowned, silver water embedded into his lungs. Or did the deer flesh wedge into the back of his throat. Either way, I couldn't tell.

Isaac's fingers clenched on the rose, and I watched its white petals begin to clot with blood, as if dipped into the crimson.

There was a long pause, filled only with silence. From the corner of my eye I could see Esme grow restless. She had already deposited her rose prior. She had labelled it Defiant.

Now Isaac seemed conflicted, despite the blankness in his face. I could see his nails dig into the thorns lining the stem of the rose. His own blood welted under the pressure, dripping to land at my feet.

"Who is Renee Aurora Argent?" Esme repeated, her voice one of impatience.

I studied Isaac, ignorant of the bloodied roses at my feet. They weren't who I was. They were lies.

Isaac tilted his head, narrowing his eyes as he held my gaze.

"Mine."
The rose fell from his hands, as silent as the beating of my heart.

....

I woke with a start, finding myself collapsed on the ground. Esme, Athena and Rosella were watching me, their faces strained. Rosella and Athena were whispering harshly, their heads close together. Esme was a few feet away, looking troubled.

I rose slowly from the hard ground, my feet brushing the rocks around the now empty fish pond. I glanced down at my chest, half expectant of the arrow to remain wedged into my ribcage, however there was no indication it had ever struck me. My dress blew in the wind.

Esme blinked, seeming to realise I had woken. Slowly, without a glance at the women, she advanced.

"Come with me," was all she said, before straying like a blowing cloud away from Rosella and Athena. I followed willingly, refusing to acknowledge Isaac's words.

Mine.

They were so possessive but dismissive. So dominating but cautionary. I couldn't understand the meaning behind them.

Esme led me away, passing a herd of sea blue deer. I watched them as they grazed, their uniqueness one of beauty but also corruption. The sheer colours reminded me I was no longer in my own world. I was a stranger to this place.

I soon caught up to her effortless stride. I didn't know where she was leading me, if she was at all. I assumed she wanted to talk where Athena and Rosella couldn't hear.

"Your aurora is nothing I've ever seen before," Esme said after some time of silence.

I didn't know what to think of her statement, so I merely nodded.

"There's contradictions and fragments in our readings. Perceptions are of random or opinionated to the point where we struggled to find a balance." She glanced wearily at an orange stag regarding us from afar. "But there was one common sighting we often saw." Her violet eyes captured mine, as vibrant as the deer around us. "You will wreak havoc on this world or save it."

I swallowed her words, conscious of the weighting behind it.

Esme continued. "As the First Descendant, I didn't doubt the misgivings in your aurora, nor the characteristics we identified. You are powerful, that is expected. But power will be your biggest flaw or your greatest determinant."

I felt my lips tilt into a frown. "I don't want power."

There was a pause before Esme replied, her voice as soft as the wind. "Everyone holds some form of power little wren. It is just dependant on how you use it."
"I already know how my power will be used. I'll slaughter people, my humanity will disappear. I won't stop the bloodshed and if I do, it'll only be because a bullet is through my heart."
Esme regarded me, her pupils narrowing into slits. "You are stronger then you think Renee. Transitioning to a Night Child may be inevitable, but using your supernatural capabilities for the better is not impossible. I know the legends well, and I'm sure you've educated yourself in some form. The First Descendant is predicted to slaughter all tunid kind in hopes of wiping out the tunid population to create a new race. A world filled with only Forsaken, with more power, less laws and unlimited killings." Her eyes searched mine, persistent and knowledgeable as ever. "But that is the predicted legend. You can change what has been written for you Renee."

"How?" I croaked, ignoring the sudden crack of my voice. "How can I alter a legend that was created thousands of years ago?"

"Use your power. You can hold your humanity if you try hard enough. Evade the Paidi ceremony. If you don't Transition, you will remain as you are."

I shook my head. "My father's pack is returning for me. If they don't kill me, your kind will."

Esme glanced to what I thought was another deer, only I followed her gaze to the setting sun. It painted pastel colours in the sky. It was a beautiful reminder that tomorrow, I entered the games. I wondered if I would ever see a sunset again.

"There is always a way to win the Arcade Renee, you just need to find the hidden piece." She half lidded her eyes, tilting her head so the sun's rays cast rainbow streams across her smooth skin. "The world is a dark place. The Parade is turning on each other. We are a dying tradition, a breaking community. The games is a way for us to finally establish our sole purpose and uplift our people. But you Renee, you can change what the legends depict us as. We don't have to be enemies. The Parade kills the Forsaken, the Forsaken steal tunids. That is how the cycle has turned for centuries." Her violet eyes shone in the light, turning into shimmering gems. "But what is this bloodshed worth? Estrella The Huntress created this army out of revenge. The Forsaken originated from the Devil. Both of the supernatural clashed and now we turn on one another for the sake of a war. We could live in peace. Laws could be built. The Forsaken could dwell in their own communities, only turning those who haunted the shadows with no meaning for life, and the Parade could remain passive unless tunids are purposefully hurt."

I allowed her words to wash over me. She was right. Why all this blood shed? Estrella suffered at the hands of her mother centuries ago, and now thousands of us would be murdered in the games, and for what? Entertainment? To uphold the legends? It was unnecessary and out dated.

And my father's fault.

I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat. If I survived the games, I could change the future that was laid out for me. The Parade and the Night Children could live in harmony. Tunids could be transitioned as a second option at life, nothing more. Populations could be controlled, tunids would be safe, and the Parade would live as they would, protectors in their own world.

I just had to remain a human. I had to avoid the Paidi ceremony. I had to defy the Parade and the Pack to win the games.

I just hoped Isaac would be by side while I was rewriting the future.

It was at that moment that the world around us began to shift. The sun disappeared behind gathering clouds. The deer scattered, braying madly at one another. It was a constant stream of rainbow, shifting bodies collecting as they galloped into rustling trees. The ground underfoot became denser. The green grass recoiled and curled at the ends, browning. The air became denser, blossoming with a sudden change in temperature. Esme paused, her head upturned to the horizon. She seemed both in awe and worried.

I stared in horror as the wind began to howl, twisting around me. My hair loosened, blowing madly in the wind.

Icy coolness pricked at my feet, and I glanced down to see snow collect on the ground, coating my feet. White roses sprouted from the snow, their petals up turning to the dense clouds.

The sound of thundering caused me to whirl around. Hundreds of pure white horses galloped from the spruce trees which had suddenly replaced the initial oak trees. I stared in pure shock. They were not ordinary horses. Growing from their shoulder blades were great, white wings, each tipped with silver. They herded around us, whinnying in glee, kicking up the snow.

Snowflakes drizzled lazily from the clouds, tangling in their manes, speckling my forearms. Albino dolphins rose from the snow, diving in loops like they were swimming in water, the snow nothing but the sea. They chirped to each other, smiling.

Wherever a snowflake fell, a rose would sprout before my eyes, until it was just me and a garden of white roses.

I blinked, turning to Esme. She was smiling. A beautifully rare and luxurious smile. She met my widened gaze, and let out a laugh the sound of wind chimes.

"This, my dear Renee, is your aurora."

I let my eyes scan across the field of snow. My eyes fell on a winged horse who stood out above them all. On his flank was twisted silver designs. His eyes were as white as fish scales.

"Arion," I breathed. The Pegasus from the legends. The mythical creature who was thought to belong to the Parade.

Esme's voice floated from beside me. "He is my gift to you."

I watched as he whinnied towards me, lifting his great head to prick his ears in my direction. "I thought he was evil," I whispered.

I saw the corners of Esme's lips twitch. "He is a living reminder that the legends can always be changed."

And so the roses grew, their petals raining down in an ocean of white. Rosella and Athena joined us, reaching out with delicate fingers to catch the snowflakes before they fell to the snow below. As they did, rose petals burst in their palms. The three women were too caught watching the horses frisk to see me glance towards the spruce trees in the distance. It was there where I saw the white wolf watch me, his eyes as yellow as the setting sun.

My aurora was a determinant of who I was. I was an untold legend. I was the element that caused my father's death. I was the colour of my wolfs fur. I was the promise of destruction.

I was snow.

Beautiful, but deadly.