Pain is addictive. I seek its refuge as often as I seek blood  

...

Concreted walls met my gaze as I opened my eyes. I was alone in a chamber of concrete, looking similar to that of an empty car park. I glanced down at myself to see my dress was bare. The arrow no longer protruded from my heart.

I scanned my eyes across the concrete pillars, my muscles tense. What would this test hold?

My thoughts were answered when Ethan appeared several feet away. He was dressed in the same T-shirt and jeans he wore when I last saw him. When he told me to never come near him again. I forced down a wince.

Ethan gave me a brilliant smile; the type of smile he was known for. It brought a shiver of elatedness through me, and I couldn't help but smile back. It'd been so long since I had seen that smile. I didn't realise how deprived of it I was until it remerged.

A flash of movement startled me and I turned sidewards to see Aleena appear next to her brother. Black jeans clung to her skinny frame, perfected with a buttoned up denim jacket. Her hair was twisted into a blond bun. Her lips inclined into the ghost of a smile.

"What are you doing here?" I stared at them.

Ethan beamed, his blue eyes travelling over my body. "We came to see you."

I felt my mouth stretch into a grin. "You did?"
Aleena snorted. "Don't look so excited. You're lucky we're here in the first place. I suggested we went to Brines for breakfast and the next thing I knew, this idiot demanded we saw you." She smacked her brother across the back of the head playfully. He rubbed it with a light pout.

"I think you're mistaken," he said with a chuckle. "If I recall correctly, you were the one begging for me to drive you to visit Renee."

Aleena shot him a venomous look, her dark eyes narrowing. Ethan responded with a mocking laugh and soon she was punching at his ribs exclaiming she would kill him.

A laugh burst from my chest. "Guys, guys, come on. You can kill each other later." I moved towards them, wanting to get closer, to see into the depths of Ethan's eyes and count each freckle on Aleena's face. I wanted to memorise all of it.

But then a thought stilled me.

This is just a stimulation.

Ethan would never smile in my direction, never joke with his sister, never beckon me over for an embrace anymore. Aleena was unstable, currently clutching her hospital bed with vacant eyes. This was the old them. They were gone. This was a figure of my imagination.

I looked up, expecting to find them watching me in confusion, however I was staring at an entirely different image.

Both of them were tied to a post with rope, their mouths ungagged, but their eyes were full of tears. They struggled at the post, their screams muffled as if their vocal cords had been cut off. Their smiles were gone, replaced with distant cries of fear.

My heart pounding, I moved forwards to untie them only to find I couldn't move. My barefeet seemed to cement into the ground. With a grunt, I tried to yank out of the grounds grasp. I couldn't move. I was trapped.

A voice boomed around us, coming from all directions.

"Save the one you desire the most."

My face drained of colour. I could tell by the way the blood seeped out of me, like ink whirling in water.

A light object settled in my fingers and I looked down to find a throwing knife in my palm. On its side, the encryption of 'Parade' stood out. My heart rose into my throat, suffocating me.

Tears ran down Aleena's face as she attempted to free herself, the rope hacking away at her skin. Ethan was shivering, his body consulving into fits. He looked like he might faint.

"I can't," I said weakly. My words seemed like a whisper in comparison to the Voices. It never replied. Instead, a clock appeared above their heads, ticking away digitally. The red letters stood out in the blandness of the concrete.

59 seconds.

"No," I said, my voice shaking. "I won't hurt them."

40 seconds.

My heart pounded in my chest painfully.

30 seconds.

"I can't do this. I can't choose," I shouted. Silence was my only response.

20 seconds.

Aleena sobbed into her bloodied hands.

10 seconds.

Ethan stared at me, shouting silent pleas at me I was not privileged enough to hear.

5 seconds.

The throwing knife felt heavy in my sweating hand.

1 second.

I didn't feel the knife leave my hands. There was no sound. There was only more silence.

Ethan stared ahead, his face slackening. He said nothing as he slumped forward, the knife embedded into his heart.

Aleena became unmuted, her screams ripping through the chamber. It shattered my heart, picking away at my humanity until all I could do was sink to the floor and bury my head into my hands.

A tap on my shoulder caused me to look up, my fingers wet with tears. Aaron hovered over me, a smirk plastered across his face.

"It's been awhile little wolf," he sneered. His hair had grown longer, curling at the tips. A long sleeved flannel covered his body, his legs wrapped in black denim. At his throat he wore a wolf fang on a chain.

I went to move but he leant over me, pressing my hands down above my head. Stilling me with his knees, he studied me, a lustrous look in his eyes.

"I've missed you little wolf," he whispered, pressing his face closer to mine. His skin was hot against mine, his sweat mixing with mine. "I've missed your lips on mine."

"Get off me Aaron," I hissed through clenched teeth.

He arched an eyebrow, his teeth flashing. "Its sexy when you strain against me Renee," his words slid over me like tentacles. "I wonder if Isaac feels the same way."

I attempted to hit him, but his fingers dug into the underside of my wrist. I knew my hands would be covered in bruises tomorrow. If there was a tomorrow.

"You don't scare me," I spat into his face. He didn't recoil, in fact his eyes blazed in excitement.

His lips stretched into a manic smile. His breath smelt of blood and death. "That definitely explains why your heart is racing." He bent down, pressing his lips to my ear. "I can hear everything."

I twisted my head away, cramping my neck in the process. Aaron responded with a booming cackle. I felt it travel through his body like sparked electrical wire.

I caught his eye, refusing to flinch away from the darkness in his irises. "You're just a stimulation," I said through clenched teeth.

Aaron cocked his head in mockery. "Am I? Even if I am, this isn't the first time I've been on top of you—"

I lifted my knee enough to ram him in the groin. He didn't even stagger. Instead his smile grew wider, his pupils narrowing to slits. His fingers pressed harder into my wrists, his knees locking my legs again.

"Now that is a turn on."

The Voice boomed over his. "Succumb to affection or witness a murder."

At that moment, I caught a movement in the corner of my eye. I slowly turned my head away from Aaron to see my mother trapped in a tank. Its glass walls allowed me to see her punch at the corners. Her fist came away bloody.

My eyes travelled down to the water pooling at her feet. Within a second her ankles were underwater.

Her lips formed my name as she banged on the glass. Her face was tear streaked.

"What are you gonna' do little wolf?" mocked Aaron. His eyes skimmed over my body pressed against his. "Choose wisely."

"I will never kiss you," I managed to say.

Aaron moved my hands together, pressing them down on the concrete. With his free hand, he progressed to trace a pattern on my cheek. "But you want to. You can feel like, you want me just as much as I want you."
His words made me feel sick. "No."

His hand traced the outline of my lips, just like they had the day he took me to the grasslands. "Your body lusts for me. Don't ignore the feeling, give in to it."
My spine ached from his bodyweight on top of mine. "I would rather die than ever kiss you again."

At this, Aaron's lips curved. He searched my eyes, studying them. I hoped they were narrowed with hatred. "You might not die, your mother, however, will pay the price."
I turned my head to see the water cascade around her neck. She was screaming still, the whites of her eyes wide with panic.

Aaron gripped my chin and jerked my head back to his. "Your choice little wolf. It's always ever been your choice."

Just as the words left his mouth, the glass tank filled to the brim. Mum began enveloped by water, the air escaping from her lips through bubbles as she continued to scream. I knew her tears would mix with the water.

I closed my eyes. It's just a stimulation. It's just a stimulation. It's just a stimulation.

My eyes flew open, and I brought my lips to Aarons. He smiled against my mouth, his next words muffled by our kiss. His lips were hungry against mine, unsettled and wild.

When he pulled away, his smile was maddening.

I blinked, sucking in a huge breath to find my mother gone. Aaron disappeared with her. The weight was instantly lifted from my body. As I rose from my spot, I touched my lips.

He was wrong. I felt nothing.

I slowly got up, expecting something to happen however I was only granted with an emptiness of being alone. But then a voice behind me made me whirl around.

"Fangs friend!" Fin beamed. He hadn't changed from last year, his white, blond hair still sticking up frantically. His sea blue eyes shone in the dimness.

My heart surged and I bent down to wrap my arms around his tiny body. "Fin," I breathed. He smelt like jasmine. His tiny hands looped around my neck. He was warm. Last time I clutched his body, his skin was cold from death.

This is just a stimulation. I squeezed my eyes shut and allowed myself to hold onto Fin. Shortly, however, he made a move to wriggle out. Ducking under my arms, he smiled at me, complete with missing teeth.

"Look what I found!" In an instant, a crown was clutched in his hands. It weighed enough for him to drop it. It clattered to the ground with clang.

I stared at it. When I first met Fin, I made up a story about a wolf and a crown. He had died for the sake of finding this made up crown. His body was salvaged by the wolves when he wandered into the woods to find the fictional item.

But now he was laughing at the crown at his feet, pointing and touching it. I felt numb to the core.

"Grant him a swifter death than the last. Or his previous torment will be repeated."

Wolves appeared around us, forming a perfect circle. Their yellow eyes trained on Fins' small body. He was oblivious to their growls; he was trying unsuccessfully to pick up his crown. None of the wolves paid me any regard. I recognised my father's black pelt in the circle, his mass standing beside Aarons grey coat.

Swallowing, I turned my attention back to Fin. He had grown bored of the crown and was now looking at his hands in awe. I didn't understand why until his fingers shrunk, spurting into feathers. His spine seemed to twist and turn, his blond hair receding. He didn't seem to be in any pain, in fact, his mouth was parted in laughter.

Suddenly, a wren burst forward, fluttering around the concrete pillars. Fin was now a fairy wren, his blue body barely the size of my hand. He sang a melody as he fluttered above my head. The wolves snapped at him, attempting to snag his legs. Immediately, the rest of the wolves broke from the circle, bouncing and yipping to sink their fangs into his feathers. In his wren form, he let out a panicked shriek.

Even now I could see his wings were lengthening back to human form. He wouldn't remain a wren for long, and when he changes, he'll go through the pain he suffered when he was slaughtered. I couldn't let that happen.

A bow fell into my hands, a bag twisting onto my back. I knew it would be full of arrows. With an unsteady heartbeat, I drew an arrow from its socket and strung it to the bow.

Wren-fin continued to fly unsteadily above the heads of the wolves, only just dodging the snap of Aarons jaws. His feet were growing longer, his feathers shifting to skin.

I couldn't shoot him. I couldn't kill him.

The arrow shook in my hands, my fingers slipping around the arrowhead. I sucked in a breath just as Fin dropped several centimetres, in range of my father who was leaping towards him.

It's just a stimulation. It's just a stimulation. It's just a stimulation.

The arrow flew, sinking into Fins feathered chest. It snapped his body, and instantly the wolves disappeared. Fin disintegrated before his wren body hit the floor.

The bow fell from my fingers, thudding on the concreted floor. Sobs attacked my chest, and tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Please tell me it's over," I whispered.

"Listen to me and it will," a voice responded. I knew that voice.

I turned around to see Isaac a few metres away from me. He was utterly normal. No rope bided him, no water filled his lungs, no arrow was shot through his heart. He was here, he was whole. He was alive.

I forced myself not to run to him. "Isaac?"

He gave me an upturn of his lips. It was a sad smile, one that promised pain. "I'm here to help you."
His blond curls fell over his eyes, hiding his tricoloured irises. He stood with his hands behind his back, almost expectant of something.

"Help me?" I echoed. I took one step towards him.

"You have a choice to make," he said quietly. His words sent a shudder down my spine.

I didn't know if I could hurt him. I couldn't hurt him. Not again.

"What is it?" I asked unsteadily.

He blinked and then a white wolf padded from behind him, emerging like a shadow. It stood several heads above Isaac. Its golden eyes trained on mine and it sat on its haunches beside Isaac.

I knew instantly what the choice was.

Isaac gave me the same sad smile. "Choose which is more important to you. Which side you can't live without. Which side you love. My wolf or my human."

The back of my eyes burned. "I can't do that."

His eyes darkened in sympathy. "Yes you can Renee. You just have to put your mind to it."

I shook my head, trying to clear his chilling words. "No I can't," I repeated. "Both of these sides determine who you are. You can't live without one of them."

His wolf side cocked his head at me, pricking his ears. I remembered the feel of his fur against my fingers. I remember his panting breath against mine.

"I can Renee. You know that already. It's obvious," Isaac reassured. His face, so soft but yet so angular. It was hard to describe. He was like an irregular shape. Sharp and pointy one end but soft and rounded on another. Only I was granted access to see his soft features.

I swallowed. "You're trying to trick me. I know you Isaac. I know you aren't whole if one side is removed."

"Shoot me," he blurted. "I can't live like this."

I stared at him in shock. "What?' I spluttered.

His lips tightened. "I lost my human side when I was first turned. I didn't need it. I was free as wolf, I could do whatever I liked without any emotion. No guilt, no remorse, it was just the snow and myself. But without my wolf side, I am nothing. I have no purpose, no strength to keep going. I feel nothing, it's like I'm hollow."

The marrow in my bones chilled. Hollow. Was this the way he truly felt now? In reality his wolf side was gone. Did he feel like he couldn't continue? Was his life as miserable as he made it to be?

A gun slid into my fingers. It weighed more than the throwing knife. I only just managed to catch it.

"You're lying," I finally uttered.

Isaac shook his head stubbornly. His eyes were trained on mine, soft and vulnerable and true. "I can't live like this any longer. Please, you're doing me a favour. I don't want this; I don't want to live in your world."

His words stung me like a whip, cutting away at my heart so it shattered into a million pieces.

"I can forget about you in wolf form. I don't have to worry about causing you pain. I don't have to be pinned down by you anymore. I won't feel the guilt for leaving you behind," he continued, his voice slow but factual. "It's for the better this way. I'll never remember you, and you can forget about me. It's painless."

I felt the tears rinse down my cheek. "I'm pinning you down?"

He paused, his eyes searching mine before he nodded. "I can't be with you like this. I feel nothing anymore. It's gone. My wolf side took my love away. I don't want you apart of my life anymore, and the only way to achieve that is to forget about you."

He touched his chest, right where his heart was. "I give you permission to shoot me."

I held back a sob. I don't want you apart of my life anymore. His words allowed me to lift the barrel of the gun. My finger touched the trigger.

My bottom lip trembled and my eyes flickered to his wolf side. It regarded me with little interest. I tore my eyes back to Isaac. He was watching me, his hand still above his heart. I could see the plea in his eyes, the desperation to forget everything. To forget me. To choose his wolf side to live.

I blinked a tear from my eye so it rolled down my cheek. I licked my lips. They tasted like salted agony. I looked at Isaac. "Do you love me?"

He regarded me for a few seconds, his face pale. His eyes flickered to the gun and then back to my eyes. His words were soft. "No."

At that instant I turned the gun to my forehead. I didn't think before I pressed the trigger, sending the bullet into my brain. His words were the only thing I clutched as I collapsed. They were the only clue.

He lied.