The next few weeks were pretty ordinary, which surprised me, as I had thought having Lukas around might change things up, maybe start some conversations or even disagreements, but nothing. He didn't even speak. I wondered if he was nervous whether we would accept him or not. Well, he had good reason to, as it would take more than a little life-saving—especially in a situation where I could have easily done it myself—to get me to trust him. But maybe it was something deeper. How could I understand what kind of life he had before he joined the clan? No, I reminded myself. He's not to be trusted yet. Meaning that feeling sympathy for him, even a little bit, is out of the question.

Then one day, I started to feel like we were being watched. Not just me and Lukas, but the whole clan. I sensed that something was close by, and every day I was more and more sure of its existence. Something sneaking in, trying to penetrate our protection force. But I couldn't quite grasp what it was. Then all of a sudden, it came to me. Another clan was planning an attack against us.

You see, when almost every choice determines life versus death, people think harder about their actions and the steady steps they take. So they plan for a while, and then they watch for even longer, and then finally, they pounce. And their 'less sharp' victims have no idea what has happened. Hopefully, we wouldn't be one of those ones. But to make sure of it, we needed a plan. Our weapons had been fixed, but our injuries would take longer to heal. And even though our enemies were only at the Watching step, that still meant that our clan was already under attack. We would need help from Lukas.

I found him sitting on a rock, sitting all alone. Looking down at his face, I saw that he was deep in thought, and it brought back that irritating urge to try to understand what was going on in that head of his. Eva, remember what you're here for, I reminded myself. I walked up to Lukas, trying very hard to focus on the task at hand. Here goes.

"Lukas, I can tell that you have probably felt kind of unaccepted the past few weeks. I can also tell that you think you know what I'm going to say next. You think I'm going to say that I'm sorry. Well, I'm not. But I am ready. Ready for you to prove that you're on our side. Another clan is preparing an attack. If it's your clan, you had better be ready to fight your friends, because you will be fighting on our side, and you will be winning on our side."

"Actually, I didn't think you would say that you were sorry," Lukas replied. "You don't exactly come off as that kind of person." I gave him a dirty look, but he continued bravely. "They are not my clan because I have no clan but yours, so the only hard part will be the fact that the some of your clan is still healing from long-term injuries. Are you sure you aren't really asking me to fight so you won't lose?"

Augh, why did he have to be so smart? Should I keep up the ruse, or should I just stop now? I asked myself. Any scheme I could think up would be obvious to him, so in the end, I decided to just give it up. "Fine, we are struggling. But this is still a good chance for you to prove yourself. And in case you're feeling like betraying us, I'll be right here to remind you that, unlike my fellow clan members, I don't have any injuries to heal from."

Lukas looked at me, and I saw that he was clearly somewhat shaken by my remark, though he hastily made an effort to conceal it. I smiled to myself, glad that I had scared him. I needed to make sure he had no reason to turn against us, and many reasons to stay on our side. If he was even part of their clan, of course.

We gathered our weapons and prepared for the coming attack. It began sooner than we had expected but I could see that we already had the upper hand. Though some of us were still injured, we knew about their attack plans, and we were ready for a fight. With Lukas by our side, we could do anything... I could do anything. I truly hoped that he wasn't against us.

Throughout the entire battle, the other clan kept hopping around like rabbits, dodging blows and leaping over otherwise well-aimed slices. They kept attacking from different sides, occasionally overpowering us, but there was one thing that was constant; as the battle thundered on, wounds only got deeper. But we kept fighting because we knew what we were fighting for. Not the pride and reward of defeating another clan, but the pride that we had protected our clan and kept it safe from harm. And as the battle grew cold and the few survivors of their clan fled back to weep over their loss, as it finally died away, anyone could see that we had won.

For a few seconds, I just stood there, frozen in my place, looking out at the empty space where a battle had raged just minutes ago. I surveyed the grounds. Every single member of our clan was there, whether still standing bravely or having collapsed from exhaustion. It took a moment for me to realize that by fighting off the opposing clan, we had won, and my heart swelled with pride.

I looked up at the clouds in paralyzing wonderment. "We won. Everyone's still alive! How could this even be?" I asked the sky. I didn't even notice when Lukas walked up to me, his face full of sorrow, completely the opposite of my endless joy. My happiness had enveloped me and I continued to wonder at the world, completely oblivious to his distress. Then he said something that made my smile disappear.

"Eva, it's... it's not—it isn't. Almost, but it wasn't enough." The sadness in his voice made me nervous. "Just before the battle ended, one of your clan members was caught unaware by one of the other clan." My joy was quickly extinguished. Though I had always expected to lose someone to the other clan, it still shocked me greatly after seeing how well we were doing in the battle. Lukas continued. "Since I didn't know them very well, I'm going to stay out of this, as I'm sure you know much better than me what the rituals are, and I don't want to do anything wrong." He started to walk away.

"Who?" I asked quietly

Lukas paused. "What?"

"Who was it... that we lost?" I asked again.

"Oh." His face conveyed deep concentration. "I'm not sure, but I do recall that she was tall, with long, dark hair and a small face."

I knew immediately who he was describing. She was the only good friend I had that was my age. Her name was Nika, and I had felt like the luckiest person in the world with her as my friend. Most 14-year-old girls didn't have a good chance of finding another their age in their own clan, as many children did not make it to 14 at all. I had never taken her for granted, and so once I heard Lukas's description, I almost burst into tears.

I held it in as best I could, but on the inside, I was being torn apart. My overwhelming sorrow forced me to desperately try to think of another way this could be possible, to find someone to blame. I looked up at Lukas, who looked back at me with sympathy. Suddenly, a new thought came into my head, and I wasn't overtaken by sadness anymore. I was spilling over the sides with anger, anger at Lukas.

"You did this!" I accused.

"No, it wasn't me! I told you, she was distracted by someone from the other clan! I would never do something to hurt you or your clan!" Lukas defended.

"Nika has never been caught off guard! That's not who she is!" I exploded with rage.

He quickly tried to think of something to say, ending up with, "Well, then... maybe you don't know your friends very well!"

I didn't exactly think either. "Well, maybe that's because I don't have many friends to know very well!" But mine sure ended that rage-fest.

Lukas looked at me, mouth open and forming a retort, realization spreading across his face.

"I... it's hard, living now. There aren't many people left, and I can't talk to four-year-olds the same way I can talk to fourteen-year-olds." I hung my head in shame, realizing how my sudden heartache had made me lose sight of who I trusted.

"I'm sorry, Lukas," I continued. "Because of you, only one person was lost, instead of the entire clan. I was so devastated at Nika's death that I tried to blame you, but you weren't to blame. I—we all owe you our gratitude." I was humiliated.

He nodded respectfully and left. I put my head in my hands and mourned the loss of Nika, my closest friend, the fourth person this year to perish by the hand of an attacking clan.

The next day, I tried to avoid Lukas. I couldn't look at him without remembering how Nika died, and how I had thought for the third time since our meeting that he was not on our side. Thankfully, he didn't try to confront or talk to me either, though I could tell he wasn't purposely trying to hide from me. Maybe if I ask him about his life before he joined our clan, I can be sure that I don't make this mistake again. Well, when I start feeling better, of course.

I decided to go on a short walk, just to try to forget about what had happened the other day. I ambled along sluggishly, dragging my feet across the ground. The last battle had been so tiring, and I really needed to find a time to rest. But right now, it was exercise time, which of course made me even more exhausted. Out here, just walking for a little while felt like running miles in the Sahara Desert, which throughout the years had become hotter than an oven, just an empty pit of—

I paused. I had heard something. Footsteps, maybe? Someone scavenging for food? A faint scratching at the ground, and then little thumps, one after another. Maybe it wasn't a human after all. It sounded kind of like... an animal. There was a real animal in the bush right next to me, and by the sound of the thumps, it was big. Big like a hare. My clan would have a good meal tonight! As long as I caught it, of course. And why wouldn't I?

I sprinted back to camp, grabbed my spear, and headed off again in the direction of the noises I heard. I had been near a few trees—not live ones, of course—so the hare had a bit to hide behind. But it was dead meat anyway, as long as I snuck up on it instead of scaring it off. I was fast, but not quite as fast as a European brown hare. Seventy kilometers per hour was a bit on the impossible side for us humans.

I listened again for the scratches and thumps and then crept up to the tree I had heard the noises behind. I had it all planned out; first I would leap into the air while twisting around the tree, and once the hare was directly in front of me, I would strike. I crouched, preparing to spring. I was just about to jump when Stela, one of the younger girls I was friends with (six, to be precise) ran up to me and squealed, loud and clear,

"Eva, will you pleeease play with me?"

I was so scared that I froze, and fell onto the ground with a thump, just as a blur of rare European brown hare dashed away from behind the tree. My heart sunk. I had thought that I could provide for the entire clan, and then I let the best dinner in years go, just because I hadn't stopped to survey my surroundings. I leaped to my feet, quick as the hare I had just lost.

"Stela! You—startled me." I tried to fix my words as fast as I could, but she was a smart little six-year-old. Stela looked up at me, with that innocent face that showed plainly that she was worried she had done something wrong.

"Did I mess something up?" she asked, wide-eyed. I quickly suppressed my anger, reminding myself that it wasn't Stela I was mad at, it was the event that had happened.

"No, no, it wasn't your fault that the rabbit ran away. It was mine, for not remembering a vital rule about hunting." I attempted to make her feel better, but I let one key detail slip.

"It was a rabbit? Oh, that's wonderful! Or, it would have been, if I hadn't been here. I'm so sorry, Eva." Oops. She hadn't known about the hare yet. Stela looked like she was about to cry, so I needed to think fast.

"That's alright, I'm sure I can find it again, and then we can have a nice meal of roasted rabbit. Don't worry, it's not lost." I reassured her. "Now you'd better be getting back to camp. They'll be worried about you if you stay out here for too long."

She nodded, her smile back in its right place, and ran back to camp, probably to tell the others - including Lukas - of my great failure. I decided to spend a little more time out away from camp, and then head back when night was close.

When I got back to the camp, Stela was back home, and it was so late that all I could say was, "Good night," and I immediately slipped off into sleep.