CHAPTER 47

          "Hoshino! You're here!"

          I darted my attention from the shrine before me over my shoulder to locate the shout. It was to the least of my expectations to spot the owner barrelling through the crowd, frantically waving his arm in the air as he did.

          Between his shorter orange hair and beanie I barely recognized him, but the unmistakable beam extending to his ears made it effortless to tell it was him.

          "Hey, Hinata," I said, squeezing past the people crowding gathered for the hatsumode. "Happy New Year."

          Once I was out in a more secluded area, free to breathe the air that I did, he arrived to a halt.

          "Happy New Year," he replied, his grin not slipping the slightest. He peered over my shoulder. "Did you already pay your respects?"

          "Like a madwoman," I responded. "I got your postcard, by the way. The little comic strip of the chibi Hakuouki characters saying "Happy New Year" was so cute!"

          He sheepishly laughed, placing a hand to the back of his neck. "I'm glad you liked it."

          "It's pretty sweet he went the extra mile to send out postcards, right?" The unexpected appearance of Hibiki caught me off guard. With his typically suave smile slapped onto his lips, he swung his arm around Hinata's shoulder, dramatically placing his other hand to his chest. "He drew and coloured a miniature me playing my guitar and singing."

          My heart swelled at the idea. More so, when I pictured just what kind of images he'd drawn for the other Humanity Club members. "Aww, he put so much care into each one?"

           The colour that consumed Hinata's cheeks wasn't hard to ignore. "You guys are over-exaggerating! It only took a little while to draw out each one. Besides, it's not so odd for people to send out postcards anymore is it?"

          I let out a coo. "He's blushing, he's blushing."

          Hinata who stood taller in surprise could only bashfully duck his head, flushing to an even darker hue.

          "Trust us, man. If each one only took you a little bit of time your talent must be amazing," Hibiki agreed. He held his thumb and forefinger to his chin. "You captured my good looks perfectly."

          "Hinata's good enough to draw things you didn't originally have?" I teased via a snort. "That's raw talent I tell you."

          Hibiki narrowed his eyes at me in a playful glare. He tightened his hold around Hinata's shoulders.

          "Say what you will, missy. Hinata sees things in me my best friend clearly fails to."

          A laugh pushed past my mouth, one I could feel at the pit of my stomach. My amusement soon died down when I shifted my gaze to Hinata's face once again. His eyes kept discreetly flickering from the ground to Hibiki and his arm wrapped around his shoulder the way that it was. With each not so subtle puppy-like awe, his blush stretched to the tips of his ears. Then when Hibiki caught his staring and properly aimed his attention back to him, Hinata darted his gaze to his toes, clearly more nervous than before.

          My expression promptly morphed to one of shock, eyebrows shooting to my forehead at the realization. Holy crabcakes. Did Hinata have feelings for...

          "So, Miyuki," Hibiki's words snatched my focus at once. He withdrew his arm from around Hinata, letting it fall to his side. "Did you come here alone?"

          "I kinda ran into Kouichi a little while ago," I admitted.

          Hibiki paused to look around, squinting from the sun that beamed its rays despite the time of season. "Where's the dude now?"

          "He saw some camera shop and promised he'd catch up with me here after buying some more film." I shrugged. "Still haven't heard from him yet."

          Hibiki heaved a chuckle. "The guy's a passionate one."

          "Oh please. He's like you whenever we pass by a music store."

          "That was only once," he defended.

          "That happened right before we got here," Hinata interjected.

          I sniggered when Hibiki swivelled to face him, a 'don't-expose-me' frown in play. Hinata flinched, features falling to one of a pout in apology. Hibiki, knowing he couldn't stay mad at such a face, sighed.

          "I already told you, I'm in a desperate need of a new guitar."

          "How did your little sister break it again?" I asked, recalling our one conversation over the break. "She was seriously acting like some rockstar?"

          Hibiki groaned at the mention of his 'six-year-old rugrat' as he so often called her. "She snapped Ann right in half, tearing my heart along with it."

          "Poor Ann."

          "Poor me!" Hibiki faked a sob. "Damn Keita and Reiju only watched Aya do it."

          "They're toddlers," I reasoned.

          Hibiki shook his head, pushing out his lower lip. "They cackled like the devils they are and started playing fetch with the evidence."

          "You have a dog?"

          "I was the one they were playing fetch with! They made me run around the house like a maniac." Hibiki dramatically threw his arms into the air, racing towards the third entity. "Hinata console me! Miyuki obviously doesn't get the pain in my heart the way you do!"

          Emitting a faint laugh, Hinata gave him a gentle pat on the arm. "There, there. Cheer up."

          I was left watching in amusement as Hibiki snuffled like a child.

          "You understand me, don't you?"

          "I'll help you shop around after this," he promised.

          Hibiki brightened like a toddler on Christmas. "Hinata...! I knew you're the best! Thank you!"

          As Hibiki broke out in a playful shindig, unaware to the furious blush that had enveloped Hinata's cheeks, I could only bite back my mass humour. These two had definitely gotten really close when I wasn't looking.

          "If you're going to pay your respects, hurry up and do that." I hated to be the one to break off the awfully good mood but when I did, I beckoned them off. "I want to get a fortune then head home."

          "Yes, ma'am," Hibiki called, flashing Hinata another heart-stopping grin. "Let's go."

          Hibiki was off in a flash, leaving Hinata behind to exhale a loud breath, a hand at his chest to calm his (most likely) racing heart. My inner fujoshi made it hard to fight back a squeal. Oh my goodness. I shipped it.

          Hinata addressed me again with a warm smile. "I'll try to drag him back here as soon as possible."

          "Nah, take your time," I said. Hinata probably thought twice of my shit-eating grin considering how baffled he was. Manoeuvring around him, I pushed him off anyway. "But not too much time. We're in public."

          I guess Hinata caught onto my implications by the way he blushed like a beet.

          "Hoshino! Y-you're wrong!" He vehemently flailed his arms, eyes rapidly darting left and right as if Hibiki would make an appearance. "I-It's..."

          My giggle only left him more flustered as a result. He puffed his cheeks up like a cute little chipmunk.

          "D-don't tell him," he murmured. "You can't."

          "Hinata, just get out of here before my fangirl self ends up screaming to the hills." I flaunted my arms for emphasis and winked. "Tell him an emergency came up for me. And be sure to have fun. But not too much fun, like I said. I'll allow a couple kisses here and there—"

          "H-Hoshino!" he exclaimed.

          After giving him one last wave and a muffled squeal, I wheedled my way through the crowd. It was hard to ignore passersby awkward looks in my direction from my wide beam but I brushed them aside and headed towards the little booth where they were giving out the fortunes. The crowd was a little excessive but thankfully it dwindled out fairly quickly. When I finally received mine, I was internally grateful it said 'small blessing.' Besides the occasional unluckiness it said the year would go by with a hitch. Also that I'd receive something I never realized I needed, which I hoped meant some anime merchandise.

           Though I was never really so gung-ho about reading the love side of the fortunes and often brushed them aside, this time I couldn't help but find myself skimming through it.

          ...And it said I'd find a match. I ruffled my hair as I dragged my feet towards the exit. A 'perfect match you've always wished for who understands you.' Also that I'd 'never find anyone like them again so to not let them slip by' kind of thing. And sure at the end of the day it was a great thing, but typically I'd imagine that 'perfect match' being some anime character I'd become infatuated with after a binge of a series. But I knew this implied a real-life relationship.

          Primarily between Hiro and I.

          I exhaled loudly. How would a relationship with Hiro and I even play out? I enjoyed his company a lot, sure. And I always had plenty of fun. He kept my loud-mouthed and stubborn self in check when I went out of line, too...

          The more I tried to wrap my head around the idea, the more spirals appeared leaving me in a heap of turmoil. I shouldn't be starting up the new year like this! Cheesy or cliche lines or not, I wasn't that simple of a fangirl to swoon as easily as I had to a real dude's presence. Or fall in love with one so easily.

          Unless I possibly... might have... potentially... already had?

          The heat that blossomed against my cheeks made me shut my eyes. Jeez, real-life romance was too mind-reeling.

          "Is that guy alright...?"

          "He walked straight into the pillar..."

          I perked up as more hushed whispers erupted all around me. Framing my gaze through the gaggles of people, I spotted a hunched over entity by one of the entrance pillars, grumbling in pain with flash cards scattered all around him. He rose his head, features scrunched up as he brushed his blond strands away from his now reddened forehead. A startled cry suddenly left his lips as he hurried to scoop up his strewn notes, lurching to his feet to apologize to the people around him. It was pretty comical to watch him slip on a piece of ice again, making him teeter backwards and land on his butt all over again. His papers once again fell down around him like confetti.

          People brushed it aside and went on past as he continued to wince. I bit on my lower lip as I approached him, bending over to help gather them up.

          "Starting off the year quite pleasantly aren't you?"

          Wannabe peeked through an eyelid, gritting his teeth as he pushed himself forward. "How could you tell?"

          "At least try to hide how miserable you are on this joyous holiday." After scooping up as much as I could, I elevated myself up, watching as he dejectedly did the same. I peered down at the bundle of flash cards in my hand, eyelids raising at the detailed notes and foreign language. "English?" I realized.

          Wannabe took them into his hands. He gestured for me to keep walking and when I complied, identical to a penguin or grandpa without a cane, he toddled after me, a hand at his lower back. I fought my amusement as we walked in silence down the staircase, back towards the main sidewalk and decently vacated park.

          "You're serious about going to England aren't you?" I said.

         It was hard to ignore his gasps and grimaces in pain. "I don't remember lying about that."

         I witnessed as he continued to melodramatically limp. "Do you want me to get you a cane or something?"

         "My bad back is not something you should ridicule, little girl." He wagged his finger at the open bench beside us. "Now take a seat."

          I snorted and held up my hands in defence, collapsing into the seat. Wannabe struggled to do the same, breathing out loudly in relief when his back connected with wood.

          "That's it," he shakily heaved. "That's the spot."

          I couldn't withhold a guffaw. "You're acting like some old man. Stop it."

          "I don't expect youth these days to understand the struggles of a senior citizen." He shook his head. "I remember when I used to be so young—so naive."

          I rolled my eyes, unable to stop my smile. "Yeah, yeah, old man," I played along. I caught his lingering eyes on the flash cards. "How's your English coming along?"

          "Needless to say, I'm going to be ridiculed," he admitted, shovelling them into his jacket pockets. "The language is very confusing. They say there are guidelines but most words go and break them all the time."

          "Sounds tough."

          His mauve-blue eyes met mine. "How's the Humanity Club doing?"

          "Not as lively without our Wannabe to stir up trouble," I admitted.

          "I would imagine. Oh how my heart aches to be young again." A wry smile tilted his lips as he craned his gaze to the sky. "But time doesn't allow for that. It never does, huh? There's only a limited time for everything, and the best of things always have to come to an end."

          I hummed, bringing my lips to a purse. I fixed my attention on the bare trees before us, carrying crystallized white along the branches.

          "Say," the words left my mouth before I realized it, "I've always wanted to ask, but... what made you want to start up the Humanity Club?

          The tense silence that followed caused him to properly plaster on a smile. "It's not a great reason at all," he confessed. "Nothing like wanting to make a difference, or anything like that. I'm just a really selfish guy."

          "You?" I echoed. "You're the most selfless guy I know."

          His jaw set into place, gaining an edge I wasn't entirely expecting. "I'm not."

          I fluttered my eyelashes as he closed his eyes.

          "You already know this, but my father isn't impressed by clubs of with no long-term value. In his eyes groups that ultimately take leadership roles like the Student Council or Disciplinary Committee would benefit me more for the future."

          My mind spun back to our one conversation. "But you didn't like that," I finished.

          "Who likes such a stuffy lifestyle?" He rested back on his palms, eyes fixed to the cloudy sky. "Since I was born I was forced to uphold strict regulations. I was never given any means of freedom and always had to do what my father required from me. Whether that be studying like no tomorrow and getting the top marks no matter who I had to use as a pedestal. Even attending adult parties and forcing smiles until my cheeks hurt. I never had the chance of 'fun' other kids around me seemed to have. We only ever go on vacation when it benefits his work or business schedule. Because of my sheltered life, I've also lost more than a handful of my 'friends' over the course of my life that I can never get back.

          "Companions who didn't mind my family name was a bonus when I started it up, but I really just wanted to do crazy, stupid teenager things." He dropped his hand onto my head, causing my heart to nearly leap to my throat. With a short ruffle, he went on with a faint snort, "We helped 'humanity' as an excuse for me to find a place to belong. And ever since you joined, I feel I was able to find one."

          The corners of my lips twitched wordlessly as he let his fingers fall.

          "So even if there isn't a 'Humanity Club' in the future you guys can always volunteer and hang out after school like always." His lips twisted upwards in a ghost of a smile. "And you'll be able to graduate in the same year and head off towards your futures together."

           My fingers found themselves in my hair, lingering on the place his hand was.

          "Why are you saying that so sadly?"

          He breathed an airy chuckle. "It is my fault for befriending people younger than myself." He shook his head, more firmly this time. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make this all depressing. I'm just trying to say—stop caring about preserving an unnecessary club."

          My lips curved downwards. I had to bite on it to keep it from quivering. "Why are you saying something like that?"

          "Because I sincerely believe there is no merit in keeping it around," he responded. "As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, no member joined the Humanity Club because they truly wanted to. I had to beg Hiro, who loved baseball. Yuji who was looking at the basketball team. Saki who was going for the Disciplinary Committee like her family wanted. Hinata, the Art Club and Kouichi, the News Department." As he listed each one, the weak tremor behind his words hit me like a ball in the face. "Even you, Hoshino," he added, pausing to meet my eyes. "I've wasted years you guys could've been doing something else. Because I was selfish enough to start a meaningless club, it ended up bringing more turmoil to us all than good."

          The weight in my chest made it difficult to swallow. Like lead, my body was heavy. Stiff. Hard to move.

          There was meaning. There always had been. As I stared into his eyes, I wanted to say it. But the words for some reason couldn't find their way past my throat.

          Though, I guess I didn't have to.

          "Gosh."

          I fluttered my lashes. He took that moment to squish my cheeks.

          I immediately recoiled. "What are you—"

          "Why are my underclassmen such angels?" His nose and mouth was scrunched up as he pouted, eyes watery. He buried his face into his forearm at once. "It's like you're trying to tell me this club wasn't such a stupid idea after all."

          I sat back in my seat as his shaky voice played in my ears. "Wannabe... are you crying?"

          "N-no," he denied pathetically.

          He went and tried to wipe at his face to rid it from its tears but with one hand it proved harder than it seemed. Plus, when he'd tried moving his other arm he gasped in pain, complaining about popping some hip like the old man he was. Whether he'd done so to cheer me up or not, I wasn't able to stop myself from laughing.

          "You're seriously such an old man."

          "If that makes me wiser, I don't mind," he choked out. "My back, though. Rest in peace my lower back. Maybe you really need to get your senior a cane, my dearest underclassman...!"

          The spontaneity of his silliness was infectious. It initiated as a warm tingle in my fingers and toes, it was as if it was washing over me like a wave—riding me from the melancholy of this entire situation and leaving me refreshed.

          But deep down, I did understand it was temporary. And judging by our conversation today, Wannabe realized it too. It was only a matter of time until March arrived—when the Humanity Club was to disband; when Wannabe officially graduated and went off to England for university, likewise Hibiki for Tokyo due to his dad's job.

          He did say that he'd started the club selfishly, but it wasn't that at all. To create a place of belonging—a fun and enjoyable time alongside friends of all kinds before you had to return to the crushing reality you'd wished was fake. He'd wanted to make a place like that. And he created just that. Only for it to crumble to nothing in less than two months.

          I guessed since this all hadn't hit me earlier it was now hitting me full-force.

          Seriously... why couldn't everything just stick around for a little while longer?