Chapter 1/6
Jordan viewed time as being a positive aspect of life, but he simultaneously recognized it as being a negative aspect of life. Every day was an opportunity to enjoy himself as much as possible. But every year, month, week, day, hour, minute, and second that went away served as an awful reminder of just how much time he already spent. He felt as though life was an hourglass, initially full but increasingly emptier and emptier, and with no means to stop it. Much of his past was depressing, and, quite frankly, he didn't care to remember it. A few exceptions gave meaning to his otherwise dark life. There was nothing he could do to make himself feel as though he didn't waste time in the past, although he knew the best way to make amends was to live life to the fullest. Finding pleasure in the little things prevented him from progressively losing his mind. Without a doubt, the thing he enjoyed more than anything else was spending time with the woman he cared for the most.
They first met two decades ago, roughly two years after Jordan graduated with a Bachelor of Science in business administration. However, Jordan already knew of her existence for several years prior due to her appearances on reality television. She was a fan favorite, but, perhaps most importantly, she was Jordan's favorite; her personality was what he loved the most. He was fortunate enough to meet her after attending a meet and greet, and she became fond of him very quickly. It wasn't long before they saw each other every day. They laughed together, and they often supported one another with their personal demons, especially their estranged relationships with their relatives. She was family, and he would do anything for her. But things would turn very dark.
It started rather unexpectedly. Sometimes, she had a tough time recalling conversations between family and friends. Everyone thought perhaps the conversations were too random to warrant any significance. Other occasions she had difficulty remembering appointments she made; people assumed she was simply getting older. However, Jordan noticed her memory was progressively worsening and became very concerned when she started forgetting things she always remembered, such as her phone number, address, and date of birth. He knew there was something very wrong when she forgot his own name. Little did he know, a doctor would soon diagnose her with early onset Alzheimer's disease. The news devasted everyone she knew. Worst of all, they could do nothing but sit back and watch her condition gradually worsen over time.
Eventually, Jordan decided the best course of action, as grudging as it was for him to ponder, was to place her into a local assisted living facility. Not everyone agreed with this decision, but he knew they simply wouldn't be able to properly care for her on their own. Even she accepted reality, despite her increasingly deteriorating mental health. Deep down, she knew, at least during her moments of clarity, she was no longer the same woman she once was. Jordan visited her residence as much as possible, usually every day. Each occasion presented its own challenges that demanded quite a bit of attention. Fortunately, he quickly grew accustomed to engaging her fragile mind. On an ordinary Monday morning, Jordan arrived at the residence and checked himself in as usual. He made his way down to her room and reminded himself not to say his name aloud. Soon, he knocked on her door and called out to her: "Christi, I'm here".
A few seconds passed before she answered Jordan's call. A simple "OK" was all she offered, but he figured she meant much more than what she conveyed. "May I come inside?" he asked. Christi paused for a moment before responding "Yes", almost as if she wasn't sure how to respond. He entered her room and found her looking out her window, perhaps a little absentmindedly, at some birds. Her once blonde hair was now gray, and there was no longer had a spark in her brown eyes. She faced him once he walked over and gazed blankly at him. Eventually, Jordan decided to break the awkward silence. "How are you feeling today?" he asked. "Thank you" she answered. Unsatisfied, Jordan prodded her: "Do you feel well?" Christi thought for a moment before responding: "Um... yes... I feel well; thank you". Jordan made himself comfortable on her couch and noticed a book on her table. "Is that a new book?" "Yes". "What's it called?" "The Glass Menagerie". Jordan raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah, I read that in high school". He looked down at the floor, as he wasn't sure how to proceed. Christi smiled. "It's my favorite book I've read; something about it" ... Christi hesitated for a moment, being uncertain of how she wanted to proceed. "Something sort of feels right?" Jordan suggested. "Yes" Christi replied.
Christi looked Jordan in the eyes. "Did I always love reading books? When I was... younger?" she asked. Jordan thought for a moment before answering. "As far as I know, yes; that's what you used to say before... um... when you were younger". Christi turned to gaze out the window. "Things were different years ago, I guess. I wish I remembered more". Jordan flinched slightly. "Maybe" he said, half to himself. "I was famous, I think. Or at least, I think some people knew me. But what exactly was I famous for?" "Basically, you were on a show about mothers and their daughters going to dance competitions. It was very fake, or at least very staged. But you were always my favorite mother". Christi smiled. "That does sound familiar. And... and my daughter, um, Chloe... wasn't she was your favorite dancer?" she asked. Jordan sighed. "Yeah, she was" he replied.
There was silence again as Jordan looked out the window. Christi suddenly laughed to herself as she looked at Jordan. "Your wife must've been so jealous of Chloe; you used to be so obsessed with her!" Christi exclaimed. Jordan forced a smile. "Yeah, uh, I definitely loved her before!" he said. "You sure you still don't love her just a little bit?" " I guess so... but... things are different now". Christi gazed upon the book on her table as Jordan looked down at the floor. "Wait... Where is your wife? How come she isn't with you now?" "Oh... I think her and Chloe went out to get lunch; they wanted pizza or something". Christi developed a somewhat puzzled expression upon her face. "I thought Chloe didn't care for pizza?" she asked. "No, that's my wife who doesn't like pizza! I mean, uh, myself! Jeez, I dunno what I'm saying right now!" Jordan laughed. "It's too bad I don't see both of them around together; I love having everyone together" Christi said. "They hang out; it's just been awhile since you've seen both of them" Jordan said. "Hmm... I guess I just forgot". "That's OK".
Christi gazed out the window again; the birds she had been watching flew away. She addressed Jordan with a more serious tone of voice than from before. "What was my mother's name? I just... I don't remember much about her... but I wish I did" ... Jordan took a deep breath before responding. He looked rather uncomfortable. "Elizabeth. That's, I mean, that was her name". "Was?" "Yes; she passed away over 20 years ago". Clouds began to cover up the sun outside. "Did she love me?" "Of course she did! Why would you think otherwise?" "I don't know... I'm just note sure". Jordan looked into Christi's eyes as he spoke. "Your mother loved you more than anything else, and so did your father. I know they supported you wanting to be a cheerleader. They were always there for you even when your p – um, your friends weren't". This response appeared to satisfy Christi. "So then... I guess it's safe to say I had a happy childhood?" "Definitely". Christi smiled at Jordan. "Thank you, Jordan; I've lost a lot of memories over the years, but I'm glad you keep them alive for me". "You're welcome; I'll always be here for you". Throughout the rest of the day, Jordan and Christi enjoyed each other's company. Despite this, something pestered Jordan in the back of his mind, and yet he couldn't quite put a finger on what it was.
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