Twisted Love by: Thamerafathima26
Requested by: Thamerafathima26

I want to say that I love the story so far and for the fact that it's a Muslim love story which I find refreshing because you don't find a lot of main characters who are from a different nationality. I also love how you put in some of the language and customs in the story as well for both of your Muslim readers and English readers to enjoy reading about.

I also like how the main character despite wanting to become a doctor has to give up her dream in order to help her family which is very honorable for her to do since she really wanted to follow her dreams but couldn't due having to marry the son of a business man which I am sure happens to quite a few people who don't have that choice in doing so.

But I would also say this as well and it's that you might want to go back and edit your sentences.

Some of the sentences aren't capitalized or don't have commas where they should be placed or have a few words missing from those sentences.

For example, sentence 1: "he held my hand looked at me."

Correct way: "He held my hand and looked at me."

Sentence 2: "the room had pictures filled with blues reds pinks and greens."

Correct way: "The room had pictures filled with blues,reds, pinks and greens."

You might want to go back and also make sure that the sentence flow smoothly together since some of them are a bit jarring to read with all of the words that seem to not with the sentence it's self.
Like you put 'did' instead of 'ate' in that one sentence and put 'night' instead of 'tonight'.

This part here is only one example of the story that needs to be edited but overall it has potential to be a great story. I would also recommend putting a glossary somewhere in the story for the Muslim words for English speaking people and for other nationalities to help understand the words since not everyone can speak Hindi and might know what the words means.

Like I said, overall this story has potential to be a great story, it just to be a edited a bit and then it should be good to go.

Thanks for requesting me to review your book and hope I wasn't being too much of a grammar nazi in this review.

-Traveler_lilly