Haneef POV.

I sat close, taking her hands in mine, my eyes glued to her petite statue; Her chest rising and falling, coupled with her low but audible breaths.

I watched as the fluid from the IV drip trickled down into her veins causing me to heave another exasperated sigh. It's been three goddamn hours since she blacked out and she is still not regaining consciousness.

Tears stung my eyes as I continue to suppress those emotions viciously tugging at my heartstrings.

I am the world's meanest guy right? Yeah I know that. Am starting to hate myself, I shouldn't have done this no matter what. I should have begged mom more, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

As a result of what I did, here is my Haneefah lying on a hospital bed. I can't even call her parents cause I don't know how to explain the reason why she fainted to them.

Everything is just so messed up right now. Why didn't all these happen earlier? Why didn't this happen when I didn't fall so deep for her?

Now that I love her so much and she is getting ripped away from me? I cannot let this happen.

"Ya Allah Guide me through this, ease my pain and give us a child of our own" I silently prayed.

I felt her hand slightly grip mine and I immediately turned. Her eye lids slowly tore apart, her eyes accommodating the brightness that illuminated the white room, feeling a little wave of relief wash through me.

As soon as her eyes met mine, tears began to flow from those orbs and bingo!! That was all it took for every nerve and hormone in me to release everything I held in.

I held her as we both cried our hearts out. We cried till our voices and tear glands started to fail us.

"Yaya what are we going to do now?" She asked. Her voice so hoarse and weak that it made me feel like crying all over again.

"Let me call the doctor first" I silently answered, quickly averting my gaze from her.

I am so ashamed of myself that I don't think I'll ever be able to look at her in the eyes again. I promised to protect her, I promised not to leave her, I promised to make her happy and here I am doing the opposite. What a coward I really am.

I stood up and reached for the door Knob before I heard her whisper but loud enough for me to hear " it's not your fault Yaya, you had to do it. I know you will never leave me willingly so don't beat yourself too much for it okay" and I felt new wave of regret sweep through me.

I got the doctor and he examined her before assuring me that she only needed some rest. I got her food and after much persuasions and threats, she agreed to eat.

After we prayed Asr, we were discharged from the hospital. Dad came to pick us. I already gave dad a call and explained everything to him.

"Am so sorry my daughter I'll take you to your parents for the meantime before I set everything back to the way it was supposed to be. Don't worry okay I'll fix everything." He said to her and I noticed her already tensed shoulders relax a bit.

The drive to Haneefah's was quiet, only the sound of cars driving past us and the cool evening breeze that found its way in through the rolled down window of the car.

We reached their house and for the millionth time my heart sank to the very bottom. I was so Nervous and scared.

We met her parents in the sitting room together with kaka, exchanged pleasantries and thankfully Dad did the narration. I don't think I would have been able to do it, tell them I divorced my wife even though I still love her? Nah! That's impossible.

Thankfully they didn't take it the wrong way and In the whole 34 years of my life I have never come across people so patient and Understanding like these couple, infact they are a perfect match.

Haneefah was to stay with them for two weeks then I go settle anything between Haneefah, my mother and I. Which I immediately agreed to because it was the right thing to do.

We stood up to leave and I could see kaka nudging Haneefah to come see me off. She slowly strode towards me with a faint smile on her lips giving me a perfect view of the whole of her. That beauty so alluring that I lose my Ability to think whenever am with her, her body shape that reminds me of an hourglass, that divine smile, Gosh!! I am so in love with this woman.

"Goodnight yaya" she muttered.

"Goodnight baby" I replied in a low tune.
She was about leaving when I held her hand " Haneefah i love you and that is never going to change. Baby I can't even imagine my life without you in it. Please give me another chance to prove to you that I can still fulfill all the promises I made to you."

I didn't know how those words left my mouth but that was exactly what I needed to let her know.

" I know it's not your fault Yaya and I also don't want to part with you" she replied her voice starting to indicate that she was at the verge of breaking.

"Don't cry baby. I'll do whatever it takes to have you back okay so trust me" I assured her and she replied with a nod.

We got into the car and we zoomed off. I dropped dad at home first before heading to my house.

I got home and was greeted by an unfamiliar silence and emptiness. I lazily got to the kitchen and helped myself with some water to quench my thirst, Something Haneefah always did.

I sat on the chair and sipped my water with so many thoughts running through my mind. I was Angry, so angry that I felt I could burn the world down. But really, I wasn't Angry on anyone in particular.
Logically this is under no human's control but when you see the dream you built all these years shatter all at once into pieces, you can't really think straight anymore.
Involuntary, I had hurt my hand by crushing the glass that rested in it.

I wrapped up my injured Arm, prayed Isha and texted Haneefah before getting ready for bed.

I tossed and turned around on bed, missing the warmth and comfort my princess provides me with. I was so hungry and worn out, no one to fix me something to eat and am definitely not in the mood for anything.

I leaned behind as I closed my eyes, trying to block out anything in sight and in mind. But the sudden darkness in my state of isolation haunted me, bringing back the torturous scene I faced 7 hours back.

I put my face in my hands as I sobbed endlessly. My thoughts were killing me with each passing second. I have to stop, I needed to stop thinking about it.

I almost wished I could fall asleep and yet how could I sleep? For the woman of my dreams would give me nightmares.
Her thoughts kept dancing in my head before sleep finally rescued me from the hands of my pains.

______________________________________

Haneefah POV

The door opened with a low Creek as I held the door knob and pushed it. Everything was just the way I left it, not that I never came back since my wedding but this feels so different. It no longer had the comfort it once held, it felt so plain, cold and empty.

I changed the sheets, prayed Isha and settled on bed before hearing a faint knock. I opened the door and allowed ummah in, that woman who was always there for me.

" Haneefah I want to talk to you" she said in a low tune, she rarely call me me by my name so I helped her sit on the bed and also sat close to her.

" Go on ummah am listening" I answered.

" Every one hates exam but how do you feel when you finish your exams?" She asked, which was quite Suprising because that was way off what I was expecting.

" It's refreshing" i answered. Deciding to go on and see where she is arriving to. She gave me a faint smile before she continued.

" You hate exams but you can't deny that it is a reason for your happiness, you feel good after you finish them and feel better if you've done well.
That is the concept of this life, it's like a video game the more you go deeper the harder it becomes, if you faced no difficulty then you are going the wrong way.
In a broader perspective, Allah tests us only because he wants us to learn, to grow and Excel in life.
There will be tests in every step of your life cause if this world is perfect then the concept of jannah (paradise) wouldn't exist. So its up to you, how you learn and take it.
Every test brings with it a beautiful feeling when it's over, just like After every hardship there is relief.
So Haneefah hold on to the rope of iman (faith) and things will fall in place."

My heart melted at her words as I hugged her " thank you so ummah" I said in-between sobs.

" Haneefah you are one of the strongest people I know, so I want you to continue being strong okay" she said, soothingly patting my back.

"Ok ummah" I replied with a smile.

She stood up and be bade each other goodnight before she left me in that quiet and empty place I once called my room.

I picked up my phone and called Ikhlas, narrated everything to her and she promised to be here by tomorrow.

She is so supportive, caring and warm hearted. I know she will make me feel a whole lot better with her around.
_____________________________________

The hardest battle in life is fighting yourself, to tell yourself you gotta stay strong when everything seems to fall apart.

Author's Note

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