"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I love and admire you."

Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

DAISY

The late nights teas at Lady Harrisone's house were excruciating. However Kelcie Everly felt like she's the only one to think that.

Truth be told, the daughter of the viscount of Essex felt like she was the only one to think differently about a number of things in English society.

As example: the Duke of Lancashire, a rake. Infamous for tearing young ladies's innocences like a cat tearing a thread roll. She didn't share the same thought as the other pompous guests of Lady Harrison about him. No, Kelcie didn't believe the Duke killed that young peasant.

All of them were fools for believing the rumors, because it was that ordinary little bitch Lady Everlye that killed the woman. And I was about to fictional muderer her if she did not collaborate with the progress of my story.

I felt an ice touch in my left cheek and suddenly I was back in my small apartment in the city of deprivation instead of the luxurious house of Lady Harrisone drinking tea with the high society.

"Just checking" Cliff raised his hands in defense "if you're not catatonic or else"

"Nah" I chewed my mouth. "I'm more alive than I wished to be". I said, fixing the glasses on my face.

Even with the glasses, the name of Kelcie Everlye was dancing on my monitor. I blinked and started to cry. That couldn't be a good sign. How long was I awake?

"What time is it?"

"Four and half," Cliff said, opening the freezer and grabbing a pot of salad that has been there since my parents came to visit two weeks ago. "In the morning"

"Argh"

I would love it if Cliff told me it was still midday. Because, in the way, I would have the whole afternoon to organize my script and a full night's sleep before going to work the next morning.

But I suppose life is never sugar coated like that.

"I've only three hours to rest before going to the set" I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes.

"You weren't in bed this night" he commented, putting the pot again in the freezer. I didn't have the strength to ask him to throw that garbage away. "I realized because I was waiting for you... very excited..." He stared at me. "To be with you!" Cliff corrected himself at my stare.

"Clearly".

"I mean, I'm also worried about your late night habits. You at least showed? Because we can fix this up real quickly" Cliff prop himself against the freezer with a smirk on his face. That smile always made me feel like a teenager flirting with the hottest boy in town for the first time.

It's impossible not to be charmed by that blonde hair and perfect jaw so sharp that could cut someone.

God knew I was no exception.

Cliff used to be the popular kid at our school back at that time. Girls (and boys) would kill to receive a smile like that one in front of me, especially if Cliff was behind his guitar humming some line from Can't Help Falling in Love.

Eight years later and not much changed. He was still the popular guy, or better yet, he was a singer in ascension. Soon enough, he would be popular in the whole United States, but the difference is that he's all mine.

Sometimes, I asked myself if any of that was real. If being with Cliff wasn't a vivid dream from that weird girl with bad grades and only two friends. Even after the first kiss between me and him. Even after our first time sleeping together (and my very first time). Even after the seven years together, it was hard to believe I deserve everything that Cliff White was.

"Thank you, boyfriend" I didn't resist and opened a smile. "I'm sure no one in the world is more concerned with my sexual routine than you" I closed my laptop, but not after saving two copies of my script, one in my pendrive and another in the rigid disk of the laptop.

"If there's someone please let me know. I wouldn't like this" he shaked his head.

Cliff pop up a Gatorade and drink half a bottle before he could ask:

"Do you really need to stay awake so late working? I thought you're only an intern".

"I'm actually an assistant's assistant's director" I correct it, trying to save the little dignity of my diploma in Cinema. "This is my personal project, remember? I pass the day at the set, my only moment of writing is now" I gave the laptop two little taps right above the stickers of Doctor Who and Blink-182.

"I'm not talking about that" he pointed the bottle to my laptop. "I'm talking about that shitty job. It's killing your creativity, Day. I don't know why you didn't quit yet. You know I can sustain us as long as you need it" He talked in that heroic and kind naive way, which was cute as hell.

"It's just a phase. When director Stacker gives me a chance, I can get something really good!" I raised from the table and walked until I could reach his body with my hands

"Your phase has lasted two years".

Ouch.

It's true that the initial plan when I was hired to be a do-it-all in the production was only to pass three months in that position.

I would gain experience in the set, get behind the cameras of Hollywood and then, I would be noted and receive a real job with a real colored name tag with my name digitally written. Instead of the one that I used, that was an old piece of paper that someone wrote Daisy Linton and not Lynton with a marked pen.

But I was in Hollywood, the place where the dreams come true, and I wanted to be noted as much as everyone else in this place, so... It was hard. I could be the best, but I was surrounded with the best of the bests.

Cliff didn't get it, because he never had the chance of being the lonely boy. He always stood out in everything he did.

If one day he decided he wanted to be the next American president, the Republicans and Democrats would kill each other at our doorstep, begging for his candidature.

This is how things worked in his world. He thinks that we both shared this world, but no.

"Well, it's a TV show" I raised my shoulders. "Normally the recording is longer than a movie".

Cliff looked at me. He left his Gatorade on the old balcony that came with the apartment and put his hands on my shoulders.

It was hard to convince him that my job wasn't a waste of time and that would make some difference in my curriculum one day. He didn't understand that the cinema world was complicated. A lot of people worked in our production, the director wasn't capable of keeping up with the progress of the team.

It was a constant effort to stand up from the rest.

"Hearts on Fire is one the biggest series nowadays. They won an Emmy for best direction last year! It would be stupid to jump out right now".

"It's always the same story with you"

I sighed.

I spent a whole night with Lady Everlye and her taste for blood. I didn't have the energy to enter into this discussion right now.

So I hugged his body, hoping this would shut his beautiful mouth. It worked. He put his chin on my head and passed his arms around my waist.

"Why are you awake?" I asked my face against his blouse.

"Inspiration" he said next to my ear. "I've a musical presentation on friday at the bar in Hermosa Beach, did you forget?"

I couldn't see Cliff at the moment, but I knew he was frowning.

I always forget his presentations, which was not a very good girlfriend attitude.

Cliff started to sing cover bands in bars when he was only twelve years old. Most of the time he didn't receive anything. That went on until he turned twenty and dropped out of university to dedicate exclusively to his music.

He did land some amazing jobs in weddings and opening shows enough to afford our life in L.A. Recently, he got this gig at a music bar next to the beach that was full of talent spotters seeking for the next big star of Hollywood.

Cliff was confident. He talked about this presentation for weeks. He walked through the house writing new songs and strumming his guitar. It was his big chance.

Besides, he would receive a high payment for that gig, which was great since I couldn't collaborate on the house bills that much.

Living in L.A. was like living in a mouse house at a big expensive mansion.

I worked at one of the big productions of Hollywood nowadays, but my paycheck was shitty. Cliff ended up paying all the rent of our micro apartment in L.A's suburb. We rented it when we moved from Oakland. The building was awful and our neighbor was probably a drug seller.

"I never forget" I lied.

I turned my face just enough to see the dozen colorful post-its in the freezer with reminders to buy fruits or drink water. "Can you put it in the freezer?"

"Sure, darling. Do you think we should put it right besides that note to buy medicinal weed from the neighbor?" He asked, pointing to the yellow post-it that was there for a while.

"You've got to rip this shit out. If my parents see this, they'll realize the bad influence you're for me"

"I'm pretty sure you're the bad influence around here" Cliff grabbed my face to kiss my right cheek.

"I need to sleep" I said to the wall, because Cliff started to descend his kisses to my neck. "I got to wake up early, Cliff"

"I know, I know". He sighed.

"It's really hard to carry the whole Hollywood cinematic industry in my back"

Cliff smiled. I smiled back.

Even with all the problems, nothing could destroy what we have.