"You're coming down from an episode, dear. That's why you're feverish, dear. Keep a damp cloth on your neck as you do your school work, and it should come down."

Regulus' head rested against his desktop, his eyes on the door, his ears craning to hear the door across from his own open despite knowing in the back of his head this would never happen. Fingers reached up into his locks of curly black hair, and a sigh escaped. "That was embarrassing."

Watching the door, he waited as well for Walburga Black to show her face, to let him know the embarrassment his episode entailed for the family, but he still remembered Orion saying, "You're too old for this kind of thing!"

"Episodes?" Regulus kept his head on his desk, feeling all too warm as his Aunt Lucretia closed the door, having come over when Orion informed her he'd fallen ill. Sitting up, placing a hand on the damp cloth to keep it put on his neck, Regulus frowned. "Great way to fill even more broken and different than before. They act like this has happened before."

His free hand reached up, pinching his nose, breathing in, calming himself as instructed, remembering Lucerettia's stern words to Walburga when the woman peeked in and flipped the moment Regulus uttered his brother's name. "Are you trying to make him sick again?"

Regulus uncovered his eyes, reaching for his schoolbag so he might dive into his school work, knowing he needed to finish something soon so he wouldn't find himself cramming all the work in towards the end of summer and stressing out yet again when his eyes landed on the notebook he'd pulled out to scribble lyrics in.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the notebook and read the lyrics he'd just written. "Brother of a monster, monster of a brother, throwing friends away, not caring if they live or die, everything about you a lie, brother of a monster, monster of a brother, our relationship..."

Regulus let out a deep breath, then finished the last part of the reading, "Our relationship, I don't want to die."

A knock came at the door. Regulus' mouth pressed together, and then he looked up, frustrated at his family, who had kept a close eye on him since his episode. "Come in."

The door opened, and—

Regulus sat up straight, the cloth falling. His hands shot up and back, attempting to grab and replace the damp cloth. "Shoot." He took a deep breath, looking at the person. "What are you doing here?"

"Uncle Ignatius said we should talk, but Aunt Lucretia said you weren't feeling well," Adrian said, looking around the room. He took a deep breath. "And they might have said something about Sirius leaving home."

"I thought you didn't want to talk to me?"

"I don't." Adrian closed the door, stepping into the room to sit on the bed.

"It's not as if you'd understand."

"Well, I don't want to. I don't want to understand a world where we can freely use magic before Muggles, where we..."

"That's because you've never been a monster."

Adrian fell silent while Regulus looked at the words he'd written, thinking he and Sirius were alike yet so different, both being monsters in very different ways. "So because you think you're a monster, you'll become one?"

"No. That's not..." Regulus turned, still holding a cloth to his neck. "I want to no longer be a monster."

"Sirius has gotten into your head, hasn't he?"

Regulus frowned. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"I mean, he treats you like a monster, so you think you are one, right?" Adrian said. 'But you think us revealing magic to Muggles will solve things?"

Regulus opened his mouth, then shook his head, returning to his notebook. "I don't think I am."

"Scarring Muggles won't solve anything, Regulus."

"I know that!" Regulus said. "That's why. That's why, if they know they don't have to be scared of me, then..."

"Wait! Wait a second!" Adrian pushed himself off the bed, walked over to Regulus' desk, and hopped up, sitting there instead. Regulus looked away, unable to look him in the eye. "When you were younger, did you..."

Regulus kept his mouth shut, his fingers curling through his hair, his face flushing slightly. His lip trembled.

"Regulus?"

Taking a deep breath, Regulus pulled the notebook closer, writing something.

"Can you not ignore me?"

Regulus tapped the notebook, continuing to write as Adrian leaned over. "Never do I feel like I'm in control of my own body, always emotional shooting out like electricity, not realizing the cacophony around me, so emotionless I'll remain gladly."

—silence—

Regulus sighed, then reached for his school bag, intending to start on his homework.

"Is it easier for you to communicate this way?"

"Yes," Regulus said. "Though..." He shook his head, remembering Adrian's insistence he was out over their disagreement.

"They said you weren't feeling well. Is there a connection?"

"Did I have an episode, you mean?" Regulus said, leaning back. "Yes. Bloody Sirius leaving set me off, but I didn't even realize my magic was going wild. They weren't going to tell me either, like usual."

"And how does your magic go wild?"

"Affecting things around me, like lights flickering and such. They're not exactly willing to share the details, so from my experience, I was simply upset." Then, Regulus closed his eyes, his face turning red as he clutched the towel tighter. "But if you must know, I acted like a small child and threw a tantrum."

"I, uh..."

"Embarrassing, I know," Regulus muttered.

"That wasn't..." Adrian sighed. "Ugh. I was thinking, wouldn't we know about these episodes, whatever they are, because one magic going wild isn't exactly something someone can hide, but this only happens when you're extremely upset?"

"Well, I do find Sirius leaving very upsetting," Regulus muttered. "And I'm still feverish from the whole thing. And now I'm rambling. But it was embarrassing, being treated like a small child by my own father."

"Yeah. Stop rambling now."

"Sirius isn't coming back, and nothing I say will change that. Phineas Nigellus is wrong about sometimes words being stronger than actions."

"That..." Adrian stopped speaking and then pushed himself backward onto Regulus' desk. "Hey. Isn't the reason Sirius doesn't listen to you because you're you?"

"Well, yes. I'm a Black and," Regulus groaned, closing his eyes. "I've episodes where all I can do is bawl and cry, and father has to remove me from the room. So, is it any surprise Sirius sees me as an embarrassment? I mean, I'm fourteen, almost fifteen, and that happens?"

"Hey, hey," Adrian said. "I don't exactly get these episodes, but I get you, for that matter. It's rather obvious you're not normal..."

"I hate being different," Regulus groaned, sitting back, closing his eyes, the cloth falling off his neck. "I know it's not normal for someone my age to be the way I am, and it sucks."

"Yeah. Don't let your mother hear you say that last word," Adrian said. "But, what makes you different is why you write such amazing lyrics, Regulus."

"Not that I can do anything with that," Regulus muttered.

"Oh! So now you're finally admitting that we were right, that you've actually got some talent?"

"I am still not believing that, but if the lyrics make you guys happy..." Regulus sighed, closing his eyes and covering them with both hands. "But you said I'm out, so..."

"Yeah. About that..." Adrian took a deep breath. "This is why you do not believe what they write in the papers about him, that he's some kind of saint."

"I never said..."

"You might want to keep that kind of thing to yourself?"

"Because you, Ruiz, and Figgis believe them true?"

"I really need to tell them about this, Reg,"

"You don't have to. I mean..."

"I have to, though, as it might make you being in the band not workable."

"I thought I was out?"

"Yeah, well," Adrian picked up the notebook, flipping through it. "You've something to say to Sirius? A lot of things?"

"Well, yeah?"

"Then, in the band, you can be someone else, someone he might listen to."

"I was trying to say that because I'm out, you didn't need to make them uncomfortable, but I'm rather used to others being uncomfortable—I mean, Evan's always running interference for me in Slytherin."

"In—good grief. I thought you were popular, being a Black."

Regulus' mouth twisted up. "I mean, no? Sirius is..." He let out a sigh, stretching out his hands. "Sirius is physically more like the other males in the Black family, but I doubt I'll ever match their stature; but isn't that what girls like?"

"You're actually thinking of what girls like?" Adrian laughed. "That is unexpected."

"Well, yes and no. I don't know. It's not just girls wanting to kiss Sirius in the hallways. Still, the guys want to hang out with him as he's the family looks to a tee, as well as the charm, and I've always known I'm lacking both and incapable of making friends, yet I'm also aware of what maman would consider to be the perfect friend."

"And that would be."

"Slytherin." Regulus held up a finger. "Pure-blood." He held up a second finger. "Someone who doesn't get in trouble like Sirius." He held up a third finger."

"Seems doable to me."

"And someone who is on the same intelligence level as me." He held up a fourth finger.

"Wait?" Adrian blanched. "Is anybody on the same wavelength as you?"

"Wavelength?"

"It's a—uh, don't repeat it," Adrian sighed. "Muggle term and all, but it means someone who thinks like you because they're of similar intelligence, and that means they say some of the same dumb things as you despite being smart?"

"Well, not necessarily the last part, but that would be five," Regulus said. "Particularly when it comes to matching me with someone. The girls in Slytherin very much lack in the intelligence department."

"And we're talking about girls again?" Adrian tilted his head. "Speaking of which, Elias wants to know if you could do romance lyrics."

"Uh, no," Regulus' face twisted up. "I think that's more his department, right?"

"You may have him there."

"And as I said, all the girls in Slytherin, yeah—no. Way outside of my scope, like finding a proper girl to marry."

"Shouldn't you be thinking of getting yourself a girlfriend first?"

"Huh?"

"That..."

"Does it really matter?" Regulus said, closing his eyes. "I doubt any girl would want a guy who is easily brought to tears and needs his father to carry him out of the room as if he were a small child, so can we change the topic."

"I think I'll let you rest," Adrian said. "But I'll talk to them about your eccentricities and let you know how that turns out."

"Okay," Regulus murmured, closing his eyes.