When I wake, I want to go back to sleep. Because I wake up to a harsh reality. My body won't move. I don't want it to move. My head feels heavy. Even my eyelids, they are difficult to open completely.

I am in a white chamber. There are bright lights all around. It's disorienting.

Hey, I know this place.

Somehow, I turn my head. I find my glasses to my side. Thank goodness.

Though I wince at the pain prevalent all over my body, I bring my hand up and above my head, and reach for the glasses.

With the little strength I have in me, I put them on. And as I wear them, my presumption is proven correct. I am back in the alien lab.

But when I turn over, the other bed is empty.

Chap is nowhere to be found.

I roll my head back to the centre, and try to sleep again; I don't make a move to remove my glasses.

_____________

Days, nights, time is irrelevant. It passes and passes. And I pass it onwards. I don't eat, I don't pee, I don't shit.

But I am kept alive, by all the fancy tech I am surrounded by. And the worst thing about this is, it's not even alien. It's all man-made.

I don't talk, I don't do anything.

I think, but whatever I think fades into oblivion as the same traumatic scene rushes back into my brain. I weep without sorrow. I weep in shock. And I don't know what else I do, but I sure do cry a lot. In silence. In absence of warmth, on the cold marble bed, I lie, motionless.

___________

Trying to break free from it all, I look for facets in my mind. Of ways I can trick it into feeling that it's all okay, however miserable that may sound. I need distractions. But what can I do? Even my mind has no solace. I don't remember anything.

But maybe saying that is not completely true.

I do remember Mom and her "antics". I also remember my good-for-nothing being, and how I am a complete buffoon. But I also remembered some interesting details last time. Like about Helena and her wedding. And... those girls.

It's hard to make me admit it ('cause I won't). Beth is unbeatable. Whatever those girls were like, I don't think they could beat Beth in terms of cuteness or character.

My mind relaxes a bit as I think about her. She is strong. She will pull through. But am I strong?

What am I? Who am I? I bring up my hand which feels so heavy all the time and drop it on my face with a thud.

But-

"You know, you can do it, don't you? You are stupid but you are not totally dumb. I wouldn't have dated you if you had no redeeming qualities. " I hear a voice. I see its owner.

Huh?

Who is that girl.

I try to think harder. "A table for two... " I mutter out. There are drinks for the two of us. Empty plates. And-

My hearts skips a beat. Who is she!

"Come on don't just stare at me. I don't have all day. You'd do well to quickly pay and leave. I have other errands to run."

Her voice and tone...is not exactly the sweetest, but it's full of character. Looking at me, she grunts, looks down and reluctantly gives out some cash from her heart shaped purse. "Just to be fair," she says, with an air of justice.

And as she tucks her lock of hair behind her ears. I finally realise why my heart is dancing in disco right now.

She is unimaginably pretty. Almost like a goddess.

"Are you a perv? If so, we are done-"

I clasp her hand, she stops, then gracefully she turns around.

"Would you like to meet again? I can make you omelette." I look at her, pleadingly.

...

Ugh! That's cringey!

But she hesitates, and I think she is blushing.

"A-alright. Yeah, sure. But is it okay if I come over? " She is shy! What combination is this!

"Well, I don't have enough cash on me to rent ano-"

...

Hey.

...

Hey.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

What's happening.

I can't remember anything else.

What happened next?!

I must know! I have to know! What happened!

I try to remember long and hard. What was it? What was it!

The last thing I saw was-

It's fuzzy. But I can see something.

I blink.

I wasn't looking at her when I trailed off.

"Ahaa."

Now I see.

The form is becoming clear.

I wasn't looking at a cloud.

There it is. The Frisbee.

_____________

Once I wake up again for the umpteenth time, I feel the nape of my neck hurt. They exercise me on the marble bed, with the help of metallic arms. I don't know why I am alive or why they are taking care of me, but, I let them do their job. They do this once in a while. Could be every day, every week. I don't know. I don't care.

I try to remember the memory I had, try to look at the girl at the table. I know who she is. But the limited snippet of memory doesn't help too much. I couldn't catch a good look of her face, just the visceral reaction to her persona is evident in my brain. I know how her facial features are. But I, can't see her yet.

It's all so frustrating.

Everything still feels heavy. It is still a chore to move my limbs. They are numb to sensation, but move when willed to.

But, I never see the demonic pests again. I am blessed to only have them torment my mind. They have done enough to my body already. Yeah, I am but a puppet to them now. Took me long enough to realise it.

And not just me. Everyone is.

I bring my fingers to my chest, touch the implant between my collar bones. And again, I cry in silence. I am theirs. My body is theirs. Even in my mind, all I see is the agony they brought to me. They have robbed me of my body. And my sanity.

I try and claw it out of my chest. But I have little strength. It's not even enough to open a lid, let alone dig out an implant. This is not a translator. This is submission. This is a leash around my neck.

I understand why Chap did it. I don't blame you, Chap. But I am not strong like you anymore. I am weak. I am pathetic.

...and wherever may you be right now.

All I can do is cry for you, cry for me, cry for all of us.

__________

"Jordan." Someone calls my name. I stir, but feel too weak to open my eyes.

"Jordan, wake up." I refuse to believe it. It's a dream it has to be. I close my eyes. I clench my teeth.

"Jordan!" the voice is urgent.

When I look over, I see a girl kneeling beside me.

I break down crying.

"Fiona, oh Fiona." I sob, lying like a corpse, because that's what I wish to be.

She gently places her hand over my head. "It's okay. I came to see you. Nobody saw me sneak in. I know this facility. I knew you had to be here."

I don't know what happens to me. Seeing her face in here blinds all the lights burning above and around me. All I can see, hear and feel is her and her alone.

"Do the others know, " I mumble. I am so weak. I am oh so weak.

"No... I haven't told them. I didn't know for sure but, Jordan. What happened to you? Why are you here? They wouldn't tell us anything. But they keep repeating one word over and over, when we bring up your name."

She holds my hand. "They call you a heretic."

My face flashes with horror.

"No. Why? Why, Jordan? What have you done? What is happening? You must tell me. Beth is heartbroken. She tries her best not to break down crying, but..." she trails off.

"Kevin is no better. Rocky has grown serious and won't talk properly. Even Diana and Sally are having a hard time accepting your loss. None of us can get back to normal."

I can't say anything back. No words come to me. All I do, is stare back at her.

She swallows. Then, "As for me," she begins, her eyebrows shape themselves in a serious manner, which makes her look cute... honestly, "I needed to do something. I couldn't accept what happened just like that. You may still be a stranger, and we may know very little about each other, but I know something. If I see you as a stranger and that's it, I'd never be able to improve myself as a human. You have a life. They can't just take it away from you. You have rights! So whatever they have done to you, whatever may the reason be why you collapsed back there, or the depression appearing or the black hand loosing you, we need answers! We can't just accept it! Jordan, you must stand up! We haven't seen you for more than two weeks!"

A jolt travels through me. I look below her neck. Her implant shines in the bright light. "Really? It's been that long?"

"Yes it has. Now come on, try and get up. What happened to you?"

I shiver at the thought of telling her. But then I realise something. It's better to die after telling the truth, than remain immobile like this in fear.

But... I hesitate. The next moment, I look back at her. I study her anxious countenance. Her strawberry blonde locks, her freckled cheeks, her little button nose, her shapely eyes and eyebrows, and finally those light pink lips.

Do I want to die after all?

I swallow. I think about Beth. She can be brave.

And so must I.

"We are chained, Fiona."

She keeps that same expression. "What do you mean. "

I raise my hand and touch my implant. "This, is our shackle."

She touches hers, and frowns.

And then her eyes open wide. She looks at me with surprise. "No way. They are controlling you! Your nervous system."

I painfully smile, but shake my head. "No. They are controlling all of us."

And now, I can see my horror reflected on her face.

"You remember Chap?" I say, weakly.

"Yeah. They got to him first. "

__________

When Fiona stands up, I refuse to let her go. I refuse to let go the one human connection I have made again after this eternity of white light I have endured, albeit may it seem as minimal as two weeks. It's not. Not to me.

"I don't wanna leave you, Jordan. But, we must find a way. We must figure out a plan to get you away from here, to get you back to normal." She places her hand on my triceps, strokes it to calm me down.

"But how," again I smile painfully, my eyes pathetically tear-stained. "You can't. Nobody can." My hand still lingers over my implant. It's like a tumour growing on me. I hate it. But it's a part of me now. Touching it, I feel myself.

"I'd bring Beth here next time. She'd be glad to see you. But I, I won't bring everyone all at once. We'd risk getting caught that way. But we'll figure something out Jordan. We'd come back for you. We need to fight back."

Tears shoot out of my eyes. "Don't." I shake my head. "Don't! You don't know hell. I know. I have seen it. I have felt the purgatory burn my body."

She looks alramed, sad and devastated. Biting her lip, she says "Whatever did they do to you.."

And then, she stands up, turns around and walks away. I reach out with my hand, my healed hand, trying to pull her form back. But, I have no power. I can't do anything. And before long, her form blips out just like that. It diminishes to a point in front of my outreaching palm, as if... as if it was never there at all.

I steel myself. Pulling my hand back to me, I lie straight. And then-

Then, I dream.