The building is quiet. But bleeding through that quietude, there's a reverberating hum of God knows what. It's a gigantic space after all. It makes one feel diminutive, which is why being devoid of any people bustling about or the creepy insects scurrying, it has assumed a spooky aura. Currently, walking through the ground floor, there are certain parts of the building that are relatively dark, which don't get the natural sun rays reaching directly. And so the place has a bluish tint to it now. There's also a biting coolness on my skin. It's suffice to say that it's uncomfortable, walking through here.

Earlier when I wandered about the place I was too preoccupied with hunger. But now, maybe after all that's happened I have grown numb. After all, I have seen so much in this little time since I woke up. Everything is finally sinking in. Becoming concrete. I'm growing to accept this reality. And so, finally I can afford to look around.

The last time I observed my surroundings properly was when I first came here. But since then, it's been a total rush, and I've hardly been able to-

-!

Something moved.

I feel a huge thump in my chest as I quickly turn.

...

But there's nothing.

"This is getting creepier by the minute," I mumble. I increase my pace. And this is an alien planet, so I don't know what could spring up on me. I'd better go and meet with the guys.

Despite how much I want to take my time, I don't really have that luxury. I need to put things into perspective, with everyone. I feel like shit...being the one who has to do it. It's terrible... but I have to. They deserve to know the truth. Diana can't talk about this with the others. She had kept quiet, most probably having the same thoughts as I, that is, how exactly I'm supposed to break the news. And so, she decided to play pretend for the moment. It makes sense why she chose to share it with me first. First, there's my reputation, like she pointed out earlier, which I'm not at all proud of. I never wanted to be the one to take big steps like this, unless it was for my own cause or something. Then there's also that part: the only one who prodded her was me and-

-!

"Fiona." I hold my breath.

I stop walking. Then cover my mouth. Oh my god.

That again?

What do you mean "that again"?! This could mean the end for us! If she misunderstands the situation. I can't let this be~!  Don't you get it? Then there are the others as well. No, no...

Forget everything. I'm meeting with her first. She has the wrong idea, I swear it. I swear on that look she gave me. I can't afford to let it simmer any longer.

____________

You sure you are ready?

Like hell I can be!

It is a simple task though, from an objective standpoint that is. But yeah, I certainly see. Human emotions are so enigmatic. They really are a treat to... feel.

Yeah? Well, I can do without them clouding my foresight more often than not.

Space buddy hums in deep fascination. Hmm...interesting. I can agree with you. Maybe I am starting to feel as well.

You might as well be, you are using my body, aren't you?

We are one. I can actually imagine him smiling as he says that... Well, concentrate on the task at hand. Breathe, brother. Breathe.

I do just that. I inhale deeply, letting me calm my nerves. I don't want to rely on Space buddy too much, unless the situation absolutely calls for it.

I look beyond the wall separating me and the concerned individual. Once again, my heart starts pounding, causing me to hesitate, causing me to take in the sight for just a little longer.

Fiona has just come out of her bath!! No she's not naked, no. Just no. I'd be dead. No. She has the towel wrapped around her body and the way she turns around, her hair tangled in wet locks, drips tiny drops on the floor. OHHHHH! An angel!

Come on now.

What are you impatient for? Let me take in the sight more.

You know someone might be fighting for life and death right now...

...

Okay. Smile. Casual. And most importantly, breathe.

I come out of the side of the wall and march towards her.

Too stiff! Loosen your posture.

Alright, alright, I'm nervous, you can tell!

I try to walk in a more dignified manner, graceful steps falling in but the most subtle haste.

She takes notice of me. And freezes on the spot. "Oh, Jordan." She tries covering herself more with her hands, though it doesn't help at all.

"Yeah-ah-ah, I... "

"You need to stop disappearing and reappearing like this. It's creepy. Where were you?" A bit flustered, she turns around, clutching her body, but maintains eye contact with her eyelashes drooping in a shy temperament. I get goosebumps.

"Yeah, I was just caught up in something... big." I sigh. This is going to be hard. I don't want to bring this up right now. Let's leave this for the last.

"Hmph. So, the usual?" She suppresses a chuckle.

I scratch my hair, uneasily. She's not wrong.

Fiona stares at me for a while, then looks at her feet. Her expression is... complex. Unrest and-

"Come with me," she says, almost too suddenly.

"Wh- huh?" And of course, I do a double take at it rather pathetically.

She crosses her hands and continues to look over her shoulder, her back faced towards me, shining with the freshness of morning dew, her body smelling of peach that I can smell even from this distance. But most importantly, there's longing in her eyes. An anxious desperation on top of it, as baggage.

"Yeah, I'll come." I nod.

She turns around to face me fully. Her form gracious, albeit erotic, but dynamic with elegance. And tugging on her rosy cheeks is a soft smile.

And with that, I get lost in a pleasant daydream. Not wanting to wake, afraid of the real, I plummet happily, as I trod my way with her, my heart blocking all the sound around me in the lub-dub rhythm of life and what it can be.

What it can be...?

No. What it is. What it's always been.

______________

I'm finally doing it. I'm finally living in the "now". Not what it was or will be. I'm living in the moment. I'm experiencing everything for what it is. This feels so liberating.

Walking along with Fiona, it's so relaxing. She doesn't question me. Just lets me be at ease, to let me arrange my thoughts together. I wonder about what she did for all this time I was gone. How does she truly feel? About all of this. About her life. And... what does she feel about me? The one stealing the show?

You sure sound like you're putting yourself up on a pedestal.

I mean, it's like that, isn't it.

Hmm. He starts humming. Then shrugs, like his note suggests. But he doesn't stop there. He continues creating his own melody as he goes down in a spiral in my own mind. Just softly enough to not distract me. And I let him be. It seems he enjoys doing it.

Fiona pulls short at a room I don't think I've stopped at before and she asks me to wait a moment. I think I get why.

In about a minute or two, she comes out, in fresh clothing. White draperies. The usual.

"I'd like to see you in colour, you know," I say, as my gaze turns distant. "Life is all about colours after all. It's not uniform like white. It's colourful. We experience it in waves." I pause. "And right now... I don't know. I really want to see red," I say, taking in her form. Yeah, red would certainly suit her well.

Hearing that, she smiles even more. With a pop of her lip, she inhales. "You talk pretty," she says. "And red? Why, that's just what I have in mind."

I raise an eyebrow.

"Come. I'll show you." She ambles forward.

As I tag along, she recites an experience of hers.

"Honestly, you've been an odd one, Jordan. And I don't mean that in a bad way," she gesticulates. "I mean, it's always been different, with you, right? For many of us, this is all there is. Yeah, we all love what we do. Which is kind of odd, but so fulfilling at the same time." I nod, painfully. "We return from work feeling like we've accomplished something. Nothing can change that. But you, somehow end up doing more. In your own way." She puts on an awkward smile. "Provided you don't work," she rolls her eyes, "not yet on the regular, but still. It made me want to explore as well. Find out more about this world. About how we found ourselves here. What our destination is to be now, and how we are to walk ahead."

We walk out into the open. "And so, one night, when I saw you off at the lab"- which would be the day before yesterday(funny how she suggests it this way) -"I went out to get a lay of the land."

I jump off a step onto the soft ground. "You went out? How far?"

"Not far enough," she says, the wind blowing her hair, drying it in the process. Absent-mindedly, she draws the strands free. I forcefully pull my eyes off of her. It doesn't feel right.

She turns my way then continues, "I went out, past the entrance," we exit through it, "past the streets and buildings," we walk beyond the opossite cityscape. "Before finally, I reached here."

The sight blooms before my eyes as I get closer and closer.

"Wow, I crouch. This is red." But not how I expected. I got a view of this earlier, but it's much more enthralling in person.

"A pool of blood," she dramatically intonates, as she crouches alongside me.

"Yeah, right," I say with a grunt as I squint to see tiny specks floating in the red. Some barely hovering above the surface.

Little sparks of life.

Mesmerising. Hopeful. Dark. But somehow... it resonates with me perfectly.

_____________

High above the stratosphere, I had caught a sight of this striking red. They have entire oceans of these. But now, crouching alongside Fiona, I scrutinise it to better understand what it actually is.

And it's life. Microbial growth, like I'd conjectured earlier. Something like red algae. Only finer. More beautiful. And they alight in sparks that swim on the surface and sometimes leap up, not falling down immediately, but staying there. Hovering. Such a wonderful sight to witness.

I remember this...

Huh? I'm caught with a sudden surprise. What, how? When?

I don't know. I just do. Maybe I'm recalling my home planet. Maybe another life. I can't say for sure.

Another life? I ponder. So you had a host before me? That's something I didn't think I'd be hearing honestly. I'm surprised.

It would seem so.

Okay, so you don't remember said individual or memories with them... That is, so relatable. Heartbreakingly. But, at least I'm remembering myself, bit by bit.

And then, there are moments like these when, it all seems alright. It caters to the moment, to the now.

Fiona gazes alongwith me. With fascination. As well as something deeper within. "Jordan, tell me. How are you doing? What's been going on lately?" Her voice is soft. Understanding. It only causes me to break on the inside, considering what the answers to those questions really are.

I knew this was coming. And I have to do it. "I'm sorry, I-"

"So it is that, after all," she says cutting me off, studying my pained expression, hanging her head a bit low. Too low. "You don't have to say it to my face and make it so obvious though. It's alright, I get it. I knew something was going on." There's a pause. "But I..." she looks up, "I won't lie it seemed kind of sudden."

With that said, she quickly puts on a nervous smile, as if everything's perfectly normal. "I'm sorry, but now I understand." She pulls her lips into a line. "But, um, would you mind telling me, when it all started? Because..."

I frown. "What are you talking about?"

"I know, Jordan. I-"

Oh no.

Oh SHIT! "No no no no no, Fiona! You have it all wrong. It's not that!" I frantically wave my hands. "There's nothing going on between me and Diana. We are not keeping such a banal secret. Things are a lot more...grave. When I regroup with everyone I'd have to make announcements, but- you all have got the wrong idea! You have to believe me!" I look at my hand, curling it into a fist. "Heck! Even I had got the wrong idea." I struggle up to my feet.

Her lips part in surprise. "What? What do you mean? Then what is it?" She gets up as well. A bit... relieved? And concerned.

I tighten my fists. Then loosen them. "I understand why you brought me here. What hope you were carrying. And I'm glad you gave it a chance. Because, " I look up at her, "I really do admire you, Fiona.

"I like you."

I say it. I say it, and there's no going back.

She seems startled, and the next moment she blushes. "Whaaat?! You do? Really?"

I shrug. "I mean, it was obvious to Tony, and I... How do I say it. You are not just pretty. You helped me many times. You helped me get out of the lab. You gave me strength to break free. Heh, when I first slid down the noodle slide, you were the only one as scared as me. Okay, maybe not as scared. It reassured me, that I'm not alone." I breathe. "You are a charming individual, and I...like you for who you are." Man, this is so hard! Am I really doing this?! I feel like I'll faint!

Fiona, at loss of words keeps looking at my face.

"I like you too," she says, her voice barely a whisper. Right the next moment her face grows bright red, so she looks at her feet to conceal her shyness.

But still, she manages to speak. Or rather, squeak. "You inspired me, Jordan. You are funny and quirky. You are... handsome as well. Maybe you're not everybody's taste but..." She sinks to the ground. "Gosh, this is so difficult! I'm sorry, I'm so incredibly shy. I don't know how to speak most of the time. I get so anxious." She pauses. "But now, I'm just so happy."

Her smile breaks my heart. I feel like crying. So, I sit in front of Fiona, look at her befuddled face, and then in one sweep, I embrace her.

"I'm sorry, Fiona, I'm so sorry. But, I can't love you."

...

I cry holding on to her. "There's a girl in my memories, and she's wonderful. She's precious to me, and if I were to get along with you, it won't be fair to her! Because, I know. I believe! That she exists somewhere. Just like we do. Separated from our home just the same, with new faces all around her. And maybe...she's thinking about me, right this very moment." I swallow. This is so incredibly difficult.

"I really like you, Fiona, and I'd want you as my best friend. I'm still trying to figure out who Tiana is and how we came to know each other, how it started, how it went and all that. But, I know I will, and when I do, I don't want to feel regret, for loving you. So, please. Please, I hope you understand. This is hard for me as well. But please." I hold onto her, maybe a bit too long. I feel her body shake.

And so, when I gently break away, I leave a crumpled mess, aching on the inside, sobbing. And I can do absolutely nothing about it.

So I just sit before her, knees pressed to my chest, as I hug my body close. She hitches and sobs, but I don't make a move to comfort her. Because, I just can't.

Like this, a minute or two passes before she utters another sentence, looking away. "I... I need some time."

"Of course," I say. Not being able to look any longer. This is just so heartbreaking to watch.

Heck, what do I know? When I rub my cheeks, my hands get wet. Even I am crying. I wince at the pain inside. I gnash my teeth, clench my fists.

You'd better be worth it, Tiana. You'd better be!