SIDNEY

I'm really curious about his proposal but I chose to remain silent. Mas gusto ko munang namnamin ang pagkain kaysa problemahin ang sasabihin niya. I'm really enjoying the food and the ambiance of the whole place. Too sweet and romantic. 

Palihim na sumulyap ako kay Andrew. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya kakausapin. I was too mesmerized by his surprise. I don't how to voice out my feelings. Gusto ko pa siyang pahirapan pero mukhang bibigay ako agad dahil sa ginagawa niya. Unfair!

"Madalas ka bang nakikipag-date sa lugar na ito?" tanong ko. He looked at me and frowned. Malapit na kaming matapos kumain kaya naglakas-loob na akong magtanong.

"No. Ikaw lang ang dinala ko rito. Are you trying to ruin the mood?" He asked. I frowned. Not really. Wala lang talaga akong masabing iba. He's right. Kung sinabi niya na may ibang babae pa siyang dinala rito tiyak na maiinis lang ako. Mag-aaway lang kami. I bit my lip to hide my smile. 

Sa totoo lang, natutuwa ako kapag nakikipag-away ako sa kanya. Gusto ko siyang asarin. Gusto kong ubusin ang pasensiya niya. Pero natitiyak kong kahit inis na inis na siya, sa huli, siya pa rin ang susuko. Siya pa rin ang lalapit upang paamuhin ako. 

"Ilan na ang naging girlfriend mo?" tanong ko. I decided to ask questions to know him more. Kumunot ang noo niya sa tanong ko. He looks at me intently. He's hesitating if he should answer the question or not. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin sa kanya. I'm really interested. He sighed.

"For your every question, I will ask something in return too," he sighed in defeat. I nodded eagerly.

"Seryosong relasyon lang ba?" He asked. Sosyal! Ibig sabihin may hindi pa pala seryoso? Sobrang gwapo naman niya. I nodded. Tiyak na hindi na rin niya maaalala kung hindi naman pala seryoso.

"Three, I guess," he answered.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Who are they?" I asked. Ngumisi siya nang nakakaloko.

"My turn. Ilan na ang naging boyfriend mo?" agad na tanong niya. 

Namula ang mukha ko nang maalala na siya pa lang ang nakarelasyon ko. I'm a hopeless romantic before we met. No boyfriend since birth. No experience about love. Ayokong palakihin ang ulo niya kaya nagsinungaling ako. "Four," nakangiwing sagot ko.

He laughed heartily. Tila hindi sineryoso ang sinabi ko. Parang hindi siya naniniwala kaya sumimangot ako. Inipon ko ang lahat ng lakas ng loob ko upang magsinungaling pero sa huli, pagtatawanan lang pala niya ako. Naaaliw na tumingin siya sa 'kin. He even touched his chin while looking at me. He was studying my face.

"I see. I remember you that don't even know how to kiss when I kissed you for the first time," nang-aasar na sabi niya. Mas lalo akong ngumiwi. Wala na talaga akong lusot. Alam kong iniisip niya na wala pa akong nagiging boyfriend dahil hindi ako marunong humalik. Pero basehan ba 'yon? 

"I was just stunned. Sino ba naman ang makikipaghalikan kung hindi naman niya kilala ang hinahalikan niya? Remember you forced me!" pagpapaalala ko sa kanya. Itinatago ko ang pamumula ng mukha ko dahil naalala ko nang halikan niya ako sa bar. 

"You don't know how to kiss when I kissed you for the second time," he said. Mas lalong lumawak ang ngiti niya sa labi. He was teasing me with all his might. Halatang wala siyang balak sumuko sa ginagawang pang-aasar. Mas lalo akong namula. I want to remove that big smile on his face!

"Hey! It's now my turn to ask a question! Stop being a tease!" reklamo ko sa kanya. 

"But you didn't answer my question truthfully. It's still my turn because we haven't moved on from my question," he grinned. Mautak din ang mokong na ito! I gritted my teeth. Naiinis ako. Hindi ko alam kung sasagutin ko ba talaga ang tanong niya o hindi. Alam ko namang alam na niya. Gusto lang niyang marinig na hindi pa ako nagkaka-boyfriend. Siya ang una at maaaring maging huli kung papalarin. Gusto kong mapailing dahil tiyak na lalaki ang ulo niya.

"Fine!" naiinis na sabi ko. "Wala akong naging boyfriend. Masaya ka na?" nakasimangot na sabi ko sa kanya. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya pero ilang segundo lang ang nakalipas ay ngumiti rin siya. 

"How about me? I'm not counted?" he asked. Napakaganda at lawak ng ngiti niya sa labi. Mas lalo siyang naaliw sa sagot ko. He was anticipating my next answer but I didn't answer his question.

"My turn," I grinned. He frowned. "Sino ang mga sineryoso mo?" interesadong tanong ko sa kanya. Napailing siya.

"You'll just ruin your own mood," he answered. I frowned. Maybe yes but I'm really curious. I can't help it. The slow music was softly playing. At pakiramdam ko mabagal din ang oras dahil sa paghihintay ko sa sagot niya. I was looking at him intently. Wala akong balak na bawiin ang tanong ko sa kanya. Napansin naman niya ang tingin ko kaya bumuntong-hininga siya. 

"You," he answered seriously. I frowned. Hindi dahil sa hindi ko gusto ang sagot niya kundi dahil gusto kong malaman kung sino pa ang dalawang babaeng tinutukoy niya. 

"Sino pa ang dalawa?" pangungulit ko sa kanya.

"My turn. Why didn't you consider me as your boyfriend? You should have included me in the count," he said. He's teasing me again.

"Ang daya mo! You should have answered me truthfully too!" I protested. He was not being fair. Bakit pakiramdam ko, ako ang naiipit sa tanungan portion na ito? Bakit pakiramdam ko, ako ang talo? He always outwits me!

"I answered truthfully, honey," he grinned. Sumimangot ako. May punto ang mokong! Mas lalo akong naasar dahil wala na naman akong maidahilan.

"Fine. You're not even my boyfriend when we got married. That means, I have no boyfriend since birth," irap ko sa kanya. Ngayon ko lang naisip ang nakakatawang nangyari sa buhay ko. It all happened in a flash. Hindi man lang ako nakapag-isip ng tama.He nodded and smiled. 

"Then I'm glad I'm your husband," he commented.

"Hoy! Hindi nga tayo kasal!" naiinis na paalala ko sa kanya.

He grinned. "Kung ganu'n isa lang ang ibig sabihin niyan," he said while nodding. Tila may naalala siya. Kumunot ang noo ko. 

"Ano?" takang tanong ko sa kanya.

"Pwede ka pang magka-boyfriend. May pag-asa pa. I can be your first boyfriend," nang-aasar na sabi niya. I crossed my arms. Napailing ako sa suhestiyon niya. Masyado siyang kampante. 

"Baliw. Ngayon pa?" naiiling na sabi ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung matatawa ba ako o maaasar. He just laughed and stood up. Lumapit siya sa 'kin at tumayo sa tagiliran ko. 

"Can I invite your for a dance?" he asked. He was smiling kindly at me. At dahil lang doon, bahagyang nawala ang pagkainis ko sa kanya. Tinanggap ko ang nakalahad na kamay niya at inalalayan niya akong tumayo. 

Ipinatong niya ang mga kamay ko sa balikat niya. Maingat niya akong hinapit sa baywang. Nagsimula kaming gumalaw. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. The music was slow and soft. It was actually romantic. Lihim akong kinikilig kahit alam kong cliche na ito. I'd always seen this in movies. Hindi na bago. But I guess, it's the first time I'd dance with someone. It's my first time. It's like the whole world stops beneath our feet because of this very moment. He smiles back at me, looking straight in my eyes. And I can't even do anything but be mesmerized.

"Sid, you're beautiful. Do you know that?" he asked.Hindi ko alam kung ngingiti ako. I'm still loss. I'm still mesmerized. I gulped and composed myself. 

"Is that your question? I guess it's still my turn to ask a question," natatawang tanong ko. He laughed and pulled me closer.

"That question game is already over," he said. He gently sniffed my hair. Now, I couldn't see his face. I closed my eyes. Pakiramdam ko bigla akong napagod. Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya

."Are you sleepy?" he whispered worriedly.

"Not really. Just a bit tired," I answered. Tumigil na kami sa pagsayaw. Naramdaman kong hinahaplos ni Andrew ang buhok ko. Ilang minuto kami sa ganoong posisyon. Walang nagsasalita sa 'ming dalawa. Naririnig ko lang ang paghinga niya.

"Sid..." he whispered. Siya na rin ang bumasag sa katahimikan. "There's too many things I want to ask from you. Hindi ko alam kung saan magsisimula. I know, I don't even deserve to ask you these. I bet it will be too much after the bad things I did. After hurting you. But I want you to hear. I want you to know the things running in my mind. I want you to hear my selfish requests," he said. I carefully listened. I actually want to know too. I'm really curious.

"Tell me," I whispered.

"I don't know if you can handle my requests. It's too many and too much," he sighed heavily. Bahagya akong lumayo sa kanya. I looked at him and smiled gently. I did because I'm too tired of our fights.

"I will listen. Wala akong pakialam kung gaano pa kahaba ang sasabihin mo. I just want to hear," I said. He smiled shyly. Hindi niya inalis ang tingin sa 'kin. He cupped my face gently and caressed it.

"I want you to come back to me. Bumalik ka na sa bahay, Sid. I want you to meet my parents. I want you to be my wife. Let's start again. Let's raise a happy family together. Gusto kong bumawi sa lahat ng masasamang bagay na ginawa ko sa 'yo. I want to make up for the times I've hurted you. I want you to be happy with me, Sid," he said. He almost whispered. Naramdaman ko ang paghihirap sa tono ng boses niya. He's right I can't handle all his requests. It's overwhelming. It's really too much. But I could feel that I want those requests too. I want to do those things too.

"One at a time, Andrew. One at a time please," I said and laughed softly. He smiled.

"So where do we start?" he asked.Saglit akong nag-isip. He was anticipating my answer. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang hinihiling niya sa utak niya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang iniisip niya ngayon. He looks at me like a child who wants to receive sweet candies. 

"Babalik muna ako sa bahay mo. And you can't complain because I'll be the boss if I did. Do you think you can handle it?" naghahamong tanong ko. He bit his lower lip. I know he sensed something off.

"Being the boss, you mean, you'll decide on everything? Kung saan ako matutulog? You will order me around?" nagdududang tanong niya.

I grinned and nodded. "Yes. I'm the boss, honey. I'm your boss," I answered. He sighed heavily. Napasuklay ang isang kamay niya sa buhok niya. He has this frustrated look on his face but he is slightly happy too. 

"I guess that's better. Kaysa matulog ka sa unit ni Ayden. It's better because I can watch over you," he said. He's actually trying to convince himself that it's really better. I smiled widely. I guess, his fate is now in my hands. Alam kong unti-unti ng nawawala ang galit ko sa kanya pero hindi naman masama kung pagtitripan ko muna siya. I was actually excited with the thought.

"By the way, do you really think that I should meet your parents?" nag-aalangang tanong ko. Hindi pa man, kinakabahan na ako. I wonder how they will treat me. 

He nodded. "Of course. Tiyak na matutuwa sila kapag nalaman nilang magkakaapo na sila at makakapag-asawa na ako," he teased. "They must meet my beautiful soon-to-be wife," he added.

"You're really confident that I will marry you," I said and pouted. Hindi siya nagkomento pero tumawa siya. I suppressed my smile. Muli niya akong hinapit papalapit sa kanya. Halos yakapin na niya ako.

"I will not do the same mistakes again. I promise," he whispered in my ear. Dapat lang! Dahil kapag inulit pa niya, it will be over for both of us.

***