"Look alive, Private!"

The sudden thud on the table in front of me startled me awake, and my eyes jumped to see what had caused the interruption. "CSM Kida?"

Jackson pulled my tray of food away from me. "Hey, you got me breakfast, thanks."

He dug into it in that annoying older brother way I was used to from him, given how much time I spent at Jess' over the summers. I glared at him, wishing the same awfulness on him that I had on Jess when she'd tried to wake me that morning. Two weeks into the school year and already the load of work I had was beating me into submission. Not to mention the constant work I'd done to secure new Thunderbirds recruits, and missions I'd run for the Trifecta.

With a snicker, he pushed the tray back to me, minus the bacon that was hanging out his mouth. "Just kidding, Nat, where's Jess?"

"How do I know?" I scowled at the name he called me; as if calling me Nicole would ruin his cred with the rest of the Trifecta.

"You two are attached at the hip," Kellen said obviously, dropping onto the bench beside Jackson.

He'd noticed? I looked down at my tray as I mumbled a hello. I picked at my eggs delicately, wondering why they were sitting with me when I was just a subling whose name they couldn't even get right.

"Hey!" Leon garbled through a mouthful of chocolate chip muffin, "Where's the other one?"

"The other one? Really?" I scoffed. His own best friend's sister was 'the other one'.

Like I hadn't said anything, Leon and Kellen were back in their own Elite world and I didn't exist anymore. I felt a pang of annoyance and wondered why it bothered me when it had been that way for years.

"When you see her, tell her I need her to do something for me." Jackson finally got to the point; I should have known.

Having said what he wanted, even Jackson forgot my presence and, with an annoyed huff, I slapped my tray across the table at him and left. I was entirely sure that none of them noticed. Stomping out of the hall and back to residence, I decided I wouldn't tell Jess.

-.-

"Jess, Ashley. Command Sergeant Kida asked to see you guys. He said it's urgent."

Jess whipped her head up instantly, and looked at the freshman boy who'd been given the task of delivering the message. He looked out of breath and relieved, like he'd been running everywhere looking for these two because Jackson needed to see them.

Big. Flipping. Deal.

I didn't regret not telling Jess this morning; urgent for him, probably meant he needed someone to get rid of a clingy girl for him. Something Jess had to do fairly often. Definitely more important than our Chemistry project that was due tomorrow, and the history test we had to study for.

Jess smiled apologetically at me grumbling about it, but addressed the freshman. "Where is he?"

I watched Jess and Ashley rush off to see the Command Sergeant Major. A steady pressure grew in my jaw till I realized I was clenching my teeth together hard. Getting up, I began slapping our things into our bags and stalked out of the library.

I was so sick of the arrogance of the Trifecta and how they treated us like insignificant pawns! As I watched Jess and Ashley go, I was consumed by a spiral of anger. How dare they expect us to drop everything for them whenever they called? Like we had nothing better to do than entertain their every whim? The fact that I'd been abandoned for them and left to finish a boatload of work myself, made me want to scream.

I allowed myself an infuriated growl, as I powered my way across the quad. A text from Jess lit up my phone—she wouldn't meet me later to finish studying, despite saying she would. Whatever Leon, and by extension Jackson and Kellen, wanted would keep her occupied until lights out. If not later.

Slamming through my dorm room door, I flung our bags onto the couch and headed straight into my closet. It took me all of two minutes to get out of my uniform and shimmy into a pair of tights and a sports bra. I yanked a long, loose fitting tank top on and jabbed my feet into my runners. I was running before I even left the building, pulling my hair back and twisting a tie around it as I went.

Something about running, the steady beat of my feet on the ground, always brought me to a happy place; or at least to a more logical, less dragon-lady Nicole place.

The act of measuring my steps in the span of the intake and release of a breath allowed my brain to void itself of nonsense and just be. But tonight, after everything else had left my mind, blowing out of me in heavy breaths, one thing still remained—anger. Anger that fueled me to push myself harder and further than I usually did.

Everything we did was controlled by an Elite we hadn't elected but still followed blindly. Everything we did was in the name of the Thunderbirds or the Hellhounds. Right down to our grades, our friends and significant others.

I felt like a character in a movie or a book, one of the ones that are just there. The boy who answers a question the main character asks. The kid who crosses the street as the hero speeds by, unwittingly being in the way, and causing him to lose the person he's chasing. The little girl who drops a ball that accidentally trips the lead love interest into a comically large puddle of mud. The hitman or goon standing by, simply to look intimidating, or stop the good guy from reaching the bad guy.

I was that soldier on standby, just outside the frame. When the shot pans out and our heroic lead barks out orders at random, I would jump to action. No questions, no hesitation, no other reason for my existence. Has anyone ever stopped to wonder if henchmen have lives? Do they go on dates, or watch movies, or want to go home for Christmas to see their families? What if their kids are sick and they can't go see them because they're stuck doing the bad guy's dirty work?

How had I let it get to this? How had I become filler? Somehow, tiny freshman Nicole hadn't realized that she was becoming a pawn. Sure, the whole concept of the Hijinks War helped things lean that way. But how had being part of an awesome crew, turned into this? How had I let myself become so walked all over? How had we all?

After running for what seemed like hours, across the fields, then through the woods that surrounded the Academy and back again, I collapsed. Laying in the middle of the soccer field, I decided I was over it. Entirely sick of blending in with the background. I didn't want to be a pawn anymore. I didn't want to follow orders.

I wanted to have ideas and share them. I wanted to have opinions and speak them. I wanted to command attention. I wouldn't hold my tongue anymore, swallow my words and be fearful of stepping out of line. This year, I would stand out.

But how was I supposed to start?