
Chapter 6: Vain Advocacy.
Songs for this chapter are:
Wars - Montell Fish, Taylor Armstrong & Madison Ryann Ward.
Crumble - Montell Fish ft SOPHIETHEHOMIE
White Walls/ Too long - Montell Fish
Peter - Montell Fish
Repentance - Montell Fish
***
Ebun had to return to her daily educational living; a mandate enforced by her parents with her elder sister, Yemisi as a supporting backbone but her life could not go back to the way it was before that incident. There was no elixir she could consume that would be any effective.
Before the only time, she interfered in a business that wasn't hers especially when it had to do with assault or sexual harassment (which she always regarded as her business anyway) was when a scene or a situation unfolded before her eyes, particularly from afar but now, as though spikes had been planted on every open pore in her flesh, she was hypersensitive to the slightest of abnormalities that occurred an inch away.
She had every reason and desire to fight. Could she blame that longing on overzealousness or paranoia? Or diffusion of both? Had both desires rubbed off on each other or was one the causation factor of the other?
She was watchful over so many things for a billion reasons. No one knew what happened to her. Her family had decided to keep the matter away from the school authorities but...did everyone really not know? Somehow it was very sensible to assume that they didn't but paranoia begged to differ.
No one was throwing any surreptitious side glances her way. Ebun was certain about it because she had grown nineteen eyes at the back of her head. Nevertheless, every single thing made her the edgiest girl to ever exist and the peak of that edginess would be when her willingness to fight became actualized.
But the more she was reminded of the fact that she could not unleash that side that craved vengeance more than oxygen underwater, the higher the urge to fight leveled up. As every second rolled into a bundle of a minute, an invisible hand clamped its way around her heart intending to squeeze every pint of blood that it pumped and it made her chest hurt with intense pain.
She could feel the friction between that invisible hand and the walls of the skeleton that guarded her chest.
"Ebunoluwa!" her heart pounded at the sound of her name, making the pain resonate triple-fold between her chest. "What is the definition of technology?!"
The teacher standing next to the whiteboard had observed Ebun's lack of concentration for quite a while and had wanted to put her in check by asking her that question.
Ebun tapped her desk slightly with the tip of her index finger and her thumb as she clutched her fingers tightly on her breast pocket. She attempted to detach herself from her maladaptive reasoning or reasonable delusion rather when she realized she had been gazing out the window for so long once she had spotted a guy in black clothes walking past the confectionery downstairs. The sight alone had brought a thousand duplicated images of the masked guy to her inner eye.
"It's...erm...It's the...I...I don't know sir, " she gave up on trying. The classroom was eerily silent.
She had expected her classmates to laugh at her because it was a typical colossal assholery trait for students to laugh at their colleagues for not knowing the answer to a question or for giving a dumb answer. But they didn't laugh.
They didn't laugh.
Did they know?
Were they pitying her? Were they not laughing because they didn't find it funny or it was because they wouldn't dare after knowing what happened to her?
The nineteen eyes planted at the back of her head had failed in helping to investigate the mood of the class since she didn't dare to use the two eyes in front. She wanted to demystify the paranoia that ruled her overthinking at the moment because it was so crazy how she couldn't know if her classmates would usually mock their fellow students or not.
Her mind was spinning faster than a rollercoaster and an elevator rushing downwards combined.
"I just defined it for the fifth time a minute ago. You've not been paying attention. What's the problem?"
My problem? Or my desire? I think one, in this case, is also the causation factor of the other. I desire to raid this entire school with the pent-up anger in me to find the clues that I need but it has become my problem due to the restraint placed upon my future actions.
"I'm sorry sir, " was all she could say of course. Whyever should she spew such gibberish to a person who was here to teach anyway?
"Hm. Make sure to ask your classmates for the definition and every other thing that has been discussed in this class because it's clear you didn't listen to a word I've said in the past one hour. I'll be calling on you to teach the whole class what has been taught today the next time I come."
The man picked up his file and other stationery that belonged to him and he exited the class. Ebun was the next to follow suit as she stuffed her books and sweater into her bag in the most disorderly way, itching to leave the class.
She should have probably been the last to leave the class so she wouldn't attract so much attention. Being the first to leave the class during closing hours would have everyone looking at the freaking scars that decorated her face but she was done fighting for common fresh air to breathe.
But disappearing beyond the view of the populace seemed like a far-fetched aim because she had barely exited the corridor when she felt an arm grab her by the elbow.
The way the hand had grabbed her, it didn't seem like its intention was to make her move without her consent. The owner of the hand wanted her to know who it was. So Ebun turned and looked. She was somewhat relieved but certainly alarmed to see that it was the victim from the corridor.
Why did she grab her by the arm like that and what was with the stormy look on her face? Was she incapable of looking happy if she was here to say her thanks? What was the problem?
"Hey...can you let go of my arm? It hurts, " Ebun said with a small smile of unease on her face.
Her request fell on deaf ears as the senior dragged her by the elbow down the stairs till they arrived at a dark corner just before the open field.
"You! Why did you do that?!" the girl fumed, her face instantly turned a bright shade of red just like it had on that day.
"Do what? Slap the bastard who was trying to rape you?" Ebun was confused as to why the girl didn't seem to be pleased about her actions.
"Did I ask you to rescue me? I would have chosen to fight him if I wanted to. Did I say I didn't want what he was doing to me?"
"What?" Ebun scoffed. She didn't think she would have to deal with this of all things. How could this be a problem What the hell? "Your facial expressions said it all. Moreover, I didn't interfere on the very first day I witnessed that scene. I took my time to observe before meddling and I even heard you mutter beneath your breath uncomfortably, begging him to stop. You looked helpless. You didn't look like you were pretending to not want what he was doing to you. You were afraid to say 'no' the way you wished to. I saw everything and concluded that you needed someone to save you. How can you be saying this right now?"
"I'm saying this right now because you're such a clueless little girl, advocating vainly when you shouldn't. Body language can be deceptive."
"That's a lie. The body, the eyes don't tell lies. I may be a little girl who doesn't know much. But I know what a true 'no' sounds and looks like. I saw it all, " Ebun spat. Tears welled in her eyes, ready to fall. She was so disappointed. She hated herself for wasting her time. For doing all of that. For advocating vainly. Now she felt so damn stupid.
"But it's okay if you say you wanted what he was doing to you. I shouldn't have meddled. I get it but why are you scolding me right now? You can just go and look for him and continue from where you stopped. I promise you, meddling is the last thing on my mind right now. Shocking but true. You have my word right now, I won't care."
She'd given the senior the go-ahead so it was expected for her to let Ebun go but her expressions said otherwise. What was it with the corridor girl? Why was she still so furious? Why was her face even redder than ever before? Then slowly...the real meaning behind her emotions became a lot less cryptic.
"Or...wait...Are you scolding me because you're scared of him? What he might do to me?" Ebun found it hard to locate her voice as she asked those questions because one tear had trickled down her cheek. The senior was perhaps lashing out at her like this because she was...afraid for her but of what use was her fear when the deed had already been done?
There was silence from the girl. It was a cryptic one. Then a small laugh escaped her lips.
"Do to you?" her laughter increased in volumes and cackling but it was all a mask. Ebun knew. "What would he do to you?" the sarcasm she was trying to force into her question didn't help matters.
"Stop it already. I won't tolerate anything you say here on, " she gritted her teeth. The senior knew nothing and was trying to widen a wound that was still freshly open. She hated every bit of this conversation and every other question it could have led to if it wasn't this. But she hated this question the most.
"Or you would beat me?" she tried to raise a scornful eyebrow but failed woefully at it when her eyebrow only ended up twitching. "I wasn't yelling because I was scared for you or what he might do to you. I meant it when I said I wished you didn't meddle."
"Alright, no problem. Just leave already or leave me alone."
Ebun detached her elbow from the senior's grasp and ran her way out of the school's premises. She knew the senior was lying. She knew she pitied her but it didn't make her feel any better because all the senior had done was infuriate her even further with every word she uttered. Up until that moment, she didn't regret fighting for the senior, so long as she was happy. Even to her detriment but that conversation brought hot tears running down her eyes as she walked back home.
She regretted that she advocated for that senior in the first place for whatsoever reason. It led her to this. This was her result. It was all vain and she hated how clear it was. Endless seconds of webbed anxiety and mysterious paranoia. She couldn't have hated herself more than she already did.
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