Sean gulped and watched helplessly as Ebun got rid of the buttons of her shirt. She was such a brat. How could she have ripped off his cloth like that without giving him the chance to do the same? Oh, how he would have loved to...

He stopped his nasty thoughts with every ounce of sanity left in him.

Why was he thinking of doing such a thing? Of course, he would have loved to please her. After all, she was the love of his life but it didn't feel like the right time to do it. The circumstance and the atmosphere surrounding her demand didn't match the authenticity of what she was asking for. It might seem like that was what she wanted but Sean could read the vibe and knew that he would only be taking advantage of her if he granted her request.

And so he wanted to decline but Ebun cupped his face with the tip of her fingers, towering over him like the princess of seduction herself as she seized his lips again in a kiss. Sean allowed it. It was irresistible. How could he even push her away when her lips were so soft? But he reminded himself of what he would be doing if he allowed it to go further. So he waited for the right timing to lovingly refuse her current needs.

"Ebun," he placed his free hand on hers, and slowly, he removed it from his face. Ebun's eyes darted in confusion. "You don't want me to make love to you. You just want to take your mind off the pain you feel and I'm the best instrument for that at the moment. You just want a distraction and as much I'd love to be of help, I don't want to do it this way.

Let's do it when we are clearheaded and willing. Let's indulge it when it really means something to us - to you. Don't use me in this way. It's bad for both of us," Sean broke the truth to her in a soft, pleading tone so she wouldn't get offended by it. He could only hope that she'd understand that he had her best interest at heart.

"What's so bad about wanting to use you in this way?" Ebun resumed placing her hand on his face as she rubbed small, needy circles on his skin. "I swear, I need this, Sean, and I'm fully aware that I'm using this as a distraction. Still, I want this."

"You might regret it. You might think you're ready just because you want it right now. But when you eventually get it, you will end up remembering the incidence from thirteen years ago."

Ebun paused and took a deep breath. She pretended to ruminate on what he'd said. Sean was so stubborn, wasn't he? But she was going to get what she wanted. After a moment of wearing a fake, gloomy look on her face, she gripped him by the back of his neck and brought his face closer to her. Without shame, she revealed her deep desires to him in a confident voice. "No. I want to be held and penetrated passionately."

Sean swallowed in shock and embarrassment. It was surprising and mortifying how her words had stimulated him so much. It was even worse that he could not hide his humiliation and defeat from her because he was only a breath away from her as she tightened her grip on the back of his neck. Sean felt so sorry for himself for not knowing what he was up against on time. He'd said his words with the expectations that they'd have an effect on her and make her stop but it was the opposite that happened.

While Sean was feeling her hands roam his chest and stomach area, Sean kept swallowing, trying his hardest not to be defeated by her seduction. He was nervous and torn between two, different intrusive thoughts: "Just do it! What's so bad with allowing her to use you in this way?" and "You will be taking advantage of her emotions if you don't do all that's in your power to stop this from happening." The former thought seemed to be winning. He didn't know what to do. The way Ebun was staring into his eyes was a whisper on its own.

However, when Sean realized that she was going to do worse things if he didn't stop her, he knew it was time to use his brain. It would only be a matter of seconds before she unbuckled his belt. Then, an idea plopped into his mind. It wasn't the best nor the most convenient but he didn't have the luxury of choice or time.

So he cleared his throat and spoke.

"This is kind of... triggering for me. I'm reminded of my past with Aunt Bethany. You know, being held captive like this. I'm not saying you're a rapist but I'm just not ready - at least, in this way," he lied.

Ebun removed both of her hands from his body, stood straight, and took a step back. Her reckless desire died like a fickle flame on a candlestick amid a ferocious wind. It was as though a veil had been removed from her eyes and was now in her right senses.

"I'm so sorry for making you feel that way. You're right. This isn't right for us. You don't seem ready and cajoling you to do what you don't want makes me a rapist. I'm so sorry," Ebun picked her shirt from the floor and wore it at an unfathomable speed, one that was sponsored by shame.

There was an oddly awkward but comforting silence between them. It was comforting because Sean was relieved that his plan had worked but awkward since Ebun was in a state of guilt. Both sentiments unified to form some sort of settling silence. Despite the shame and disappointment attached to the existing tranquility, there was still something to it that made it acceptable. Perhaps, it was the empathy that Sean felt that made the difference.

"Can you... remove this cuff, please?" He motioned calmly to the handcuff that was still holding one of his hands bound to the handle of the chair.

"Oh. Sorry," She pulled out the key from the pocket of her jeans and unlocked it quickly without looking into his eyes as she did so.

Sean felt more pity for her. It was ironic how confident she was some minutes ago as she gazed at him. Now, she couldn't bear to look at him. Sean took no pleasure in it though. He only saw it as an urgent prompting for him to do all he could to make her feel better on time.

Once he was freed from the handcuff, Ebun turned away and began making her way to step out of the dining room but Sean was quick enough. He covered the distance that was existent between them by pulling her and wrapping his arm around her from behind.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into her ear.

'No need to apologize," She made a small shift, trying not to let him see the tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm a mess right now."

A serious mess, she added in her mind. Penetrated passionately? She repeated the words. She deserved to be slapped. This was how Stephen and Gordon had talked dirty to her and she could never forget how disgusted and degraded she felt from hearing those words. How then, could she voice such a thing to her boyfriend, knowing fully well what his past was?

"I'll do whatever I can to help you out of this. I know you're hurt and are desperately looking for a means of escape. I'll assist you in any way possible. You won't have to be stuck in this phase for too long," He caressed her shoulder.

It became his newest resolve to help Ebun heal so he wouldn't have to deal with more difficult demands in the nearest future. The idea of saying "no' to her inflicted a different kind of agony in his heart.

***

A few days later, when Ebun had gotten a bit calm, Sean decided that he was going to take her a step further into his world. The timing felt adequate, not right. It didn't seem like the proper timing would ever come since she wasn't over what had happened at Kamchatsky. Still, he could not let time pass him by.

"I want to show you something that might blow your mind," He said in a bid to divert her attention from the TV.

"Would it?' She tore her gaze away from the reality show that was airing on the television and looked up at Sean who was standing next to her, holding a pair of keys in hand. He was dressed in preparation for an outing.

"I believe so," Sean smirked when a joke came to his mind. "Perhaps, it might even blow your mind than some passionate penetration."

"Are you crazy?" Ebun picked a pillow from the couch and threw it in his direction. He was unable to dodge the cushion so it landed on his stomach. Sean crouched, touching his belly firmly and pretending to be hurt.

"How can you mock me like that?" A smile tugged at the corner of her lips but deep down, she was still ashamed. "Maybe you have a right to mock me. I must have sounded like a fool."

"I just wanted to lighten up your mood a little," Sean smiled. He picked the pillow from the ground and put it back on the chair.

"Hm," Ebun lifted an eyebrow. "Is it in preparation for something?"

"You could say so," he shrugged.

After a fifteen-minute drive, Sean stopped the car when he got to a small shed which was fairly a stone's throw from where his house was situated. They could have covered the journey by foot. The shed had a thatched roof and was a long cubicle that was perhaps beyond 5500 millimeters in length. The walls of the building were tiled.

The construction was similar to the buildings that one would find in a village or some other rural area but the size and the material used for the shed made it different from muddy huts that one would find in a remote area.

The structure looked strange considering its location. Every other building in the estate was modern with more contemporary architectural designs. What was a shed doing in this vicinity? Worse off, why was it tiled? It looked like one gigantic building that consisted only of toilets.

"What is this place, Sean?"

"A very important torture chamber, one among the many that I own," Sean said with an air of achievement.

"Damn. Don't scare me like that bro," Ebun stretched her lips in horror as she looked at him judgmentally.

"Don't worry. There wouldn't be a need for you to see the other ones or know what they are for. But I want you to see this one because I think it might make you realize a thing or two. Come in," He stretched out his hand. Ebun took it and then they walked in together.

Ebun took a full view of the shed's interior. She was surprised by how long the passageway was. On both sides of the walls were cell compartments all guarded with thick iron bars. Each cell hosted a certain group of people who'd lost almost every feature that was supposed to be present in a human being but for the lack of word diversity, one couldn't help but regard them as human beings anyway. Perhaps, humanoid was a better terminology. Still, even humanoids didn't look this terrifying and out of shape.

Three light bulbs hung from the ceiling in a vertical arrangement. Each bulb contributed to the luminosity that dimly brightened the passageway. One of the rays of light shone on a particular cell and the lighting gave Ebun a better view of one of the inmates. When she saw the person behind the iron bar, she screamed.

"Who is that person?!" her voice was still a shriek but she curved her hand by the side of her lip to make up for her unladylike behavior. "I can't see his nose! What happened to it?" she looked at the person again to confirm her question and check to affirm that she wasn't being delusional. When she realized that she was seeing correctly, she looked back at Sean for an answer.

The man behind the cell was bald. In substitution for the strands of hair that were supposed to be on his head, deep injury cuts covered with stale blood surrounded his scalp instead. Ebun expected his face to be dripping with thick clots of blood since the bleeding already started from the crown of his head but there was nothing notable. His forehead was void of any cuts, his eyes were not swollen, missing, or battered with bruises. His nose... his nose... it wasn't there at all!

Usually, when fighters threaten to break the nose of their victim or their opponents, the nose doesn't end up being broken like some piece of plastic. It often ends up in a deep cut or a dislocation of the nasal bone instead. But this guy didn't have a nose at all!

In replacement of what should have been a nose was a thick red mound that consisted of purple and greenish lines - perhaps veins. What was the mound that stuck out like phlegm? Was it a vessel or a tissue? Ebun couldn't name it. It was disgusting and she couldn't look further anymore to try and decipher what it was.

"I broke it," Sean answered with a bit of pride in his voice, as though he was happy with the work he'd done.

'What's the story behind it?"

"Ah," Sean smiled. "This guy's story is very interesting, I tell you," he moved closer to the cell where the man was. "Meet Karim. He's a thug for one of the most vicious gangs in Latvia. Five years ago, there was a case that went relatively viral. A commissioner was murdered and an innocent person was framed for the killing of the politician.

In actuality, it was one of the members that killed the commissioner. Why? It was because he was a strong opponent of an aspiring politician who had the support of the fraternity. So the gang folks murdered the man on the orders of his rival. Politics is such a dirty game, isn't it?

Before executing their plan, they already had a scapegoat prepared to carry the blame and cover up for their crime. The sad thing was the prey didn't know that he was the lamb to be sacrificed. The case was reported to the psycho barracks with concrete evidence that was convincing enough to label the innocent man as the murderer.

As expected, I dealt with the accused person, believing he was the one. I was getting ready to wrap up the case since the job was already done until one day, one of my subordinates decided to inspect the flashlight, one of the pieces of evidence provided, thoroughly.

Then he told me that the speck of blood on the lens of the flashlight wasn't even the blood of a human being. It was the blood of a rabbit. So the gang members just did that to make it look like the falsely accused person was the one who shot the victim. The gang members were represented by Karim. He was the one who reported the case and provided the proof - all with the backing of the gang, of course. So when I found out the truth and it was confirmed, I looked for him.

When I found him, he was in a bad condition. A week after the falsely accused culprit died, Karim got into a car accident. That's why he's bald with lots of scars on his scalp as you can see. As a result of the accident, he lost his memory. Karma was being a real bad bitch. But you see, I was too livid to let karma, the universe or God complete the vengeance. I wanted to play my part in inflicting great pain on him.

So I took him out of the hospital once his brain surgery was completed. He still hasn't regained his memory though but that didn't stop me from breaking his nose. Until he's ready to recollect everything and tell me who the real criminal is, I will continue to make him suffer as though he were the actual killer. The other politician is obviously the mastermind as he was the one who ordered the killing but I need to know who executed the plan."

"Honestly, Karim is still in good shape," Sean said, looking at the thug who was nodding off sleepily. "He should have lost all of his limbs by now but I just haven't had the time to stop by and interrogate him."

"Wow. This is crazy. Do incidents like this not make you feel incompetent?"

"No, because I know I tried my best. One question that comes to mind when people hear this story is, 'why not get a lawyer, a detective, or an expert by your side?' While that is good advice, it's not so easy to follow.

First and foremost, we are not the police nor are we a legally recognized crime solution force. The police must not even know that we exist. While there are lawyers that are willing to do anything dirty so long as cash is involved, it's futile to have them around at the end of the day since we will never have a reason to be in court.

Second, there are quack investigators and 'field experts' who didn't even study the course they claim to be professionals at in school. They just spew out heavy words that the judge is too unbothered to decipher. The court usually believes evidence that's provided by this set of people since they are 'experts' after all. Bad people who intend to cover up their atrocities and dump them on an innocent person or group of people usually hire persons like this to provide all the fake evidence and theses.

There are so many of these fake people you won't even know who's working for who. In summary, it's risky to employ people like that. You can even find out that they are working behind your back to protect the person you're trying to punish."

"That's messed up," Ebun remarked. She didn't know what to say. She dipped her hand in the pocket of her jeans for some warmth. It was getting cold and she was getting tired. That story alone had drained the little energy left in her.

"Truly is," Sean nodded.

"Who's that other guy?" Her gaze was fixed on a lean man sitting inside the next cell. He looked like he's been beaten recently. His eyes were swollen and his hands were twice the size of what she believed they were supposed to be.

"This one's case is intriguing too," Sean said with enthusiasm. He looked like he could go on and on with the gory tales. "Meet Collins, the unfortunate man whose life is dependent on whether the innocent man he lied against will survive or not. He's a member of a secret fraternity organization.

The ridiculous thing about these gang folks is that they think we help people hide bad stuff. It's the level of disrespect for me. I wasn't the one in charge of Collin's case though. In fact, it's not the psycho barracks that dealt with the wrongly alleged man. It was after the guy was beaten to a pulp and fell into a coma that his family members learned of it and reported it to us. Good thing they knew of our existence.

Afterward, we learned that the members of the frat house were the ones who framed the blameless man. So we decided to do what we could by torturing the fellow who battered the innocent man. If the man wakes up from the coma, Collins will be allowed to live but will be transferred to the police station. If he doesn't survive, Collins dies here. The reason why he's being kept here instead of a police station is pretty obvious. Most of the police officers in Europe generally are under the chokehold of ferocious gangs and fraternities. So they can easily bribe the police to set their goals free. Of course, we can't let that happen."

"Damn," Ebun let out a breath and shook her head. "My ears are already so full from the things I've heard."

''Do you want to hear more? There aren't many of them here so your ears should be able to take some more," Sean winked.

Ebun shoved her elbow into his rib. He yelped out. "Why exactly do you feel it's appropriate to joke about this?'

"It's just so you can understand that shit like this happens more frequently than you can even imagine. It gets to a point where you realize that it's not your fault because you know you did all that was supposed to be done. You don't have to feel guilty five times before you learn that it wasn't your mistake or a reflection of incompetence on your part."

"Oh. Is that why you brought me here?"

"Of course!" Sean laughed in disbelief. How could she not tell? "Happy New Year, Baby?"

Ebun rolled her eyes. 'Sean, I appreciate you but-"

Sean placed her index fingers in a straight motion between her lips to shut her up.

"Ebun, listen to me. You did all you could, okay? You weren't hasty, lazy, dumb, or incompetent. Don't try to look for the lesson that this incident might be trying to teach you. There's no message to get because you didn't do anything wrong.

If there's anything at all to learn from it, it's that people can be wicked but you can even do better than them when it comes to being vile. This is the mistake that many people make - wasting their time trying to look for lessons in every bad situation. Sometimes, there's nothing to learn. Shit just happens.

People can just decide to be mad but if you keep taking the blame for their intentional displays of craziness by allowing guilt to consume you, you won't be able to go far as an assassin."

Ebun wished that Sean's words would do something to her. She appreciated his sincere and thoughtful efforts in encouraging her. However, her mind was already made up.

"From everything you've told me today, I must say that the psycho barracks is a blessing to those who really cannot find justice elsewhere. However, can we term this job as something worthwhile if innocent people have to die occasionally just because one person is seeking vengeance? Doesn't that make retaliation such a filthy venture?

Granted, with the stories you've shared, I don't see a direct connection to your desire for reprisal but it has something to do with the violent desires of other people. Basically, vengeance is the root and the end goal of it all and if guiltless people have to be sacrificed almost all the time then it's not worth it to me."

As Ebun explained her point, she got reminded of the Black Vipers Mafia and their equally vicious dealings. She found a significant similarity between the organization and other gangs Sean mentioned - using evil as a solution to a bad thing and even to things that are not so bad, altogether making things worse.

She wanted to mention the Black Vipers to him, to ask him if he's ever heard of it but remembered her sister's warning. Yemisi had cautioned her not to mention anything about the members they'd found in Nigeria, especially Gaius.

She was not supposed to leak anything that would make anyone curious as to who gave her the information. Although Sean was her boyfriend and it was only reasonable for her to share things like this with him, she decided against it. It was even a good thing that he didn't ask about her trip to Nigeria.

It was surprising too. How could he not ask? Especially when they'd wrestled so much over the issue before she left for Nigeria? Still, it was plausible to assume that he'd been carried away. After the fight they had and then Grigory Levin's matter popping up, it was understandable for the matter to have skipped his mind, although still not completely believable. Nevertheless, she was not going to mention anything about the Black Vipers.

"Ebun," Sean placed his hands on her shoulders, oblivious to her out-of-place expressions. "Look into my eyes and tell me that you genuinely have no interest in finding the members and the leader of the gang that raped you thirteen years ago."

'You want honesty, right?' Ebun asked, ensuring to match Sean's intimidating look with confidence.

"Yes, undiluted honesty."

"I'll give it to you then. I used to be interested in finding the members so that their confessions will help me find the leader. He's the one I've always wanted to find the most. Of course, I wanted to find the members to kill them as well. But the leader of the gang told me something after he raped me - 'catch me if you can.'

That statement has not left my mind for one second. But you see, upon finding Gilbert after seven years and with the fruitlessness that came with meeting him, I became anxious. I didn't even want the subordinates anymore. I wanted the boss. If I could have him to myself and do what my heart so pleases with him, I was fine with it - even if it meant letting the other guys go.

But now, I don't even want the leader again. I blame myself for taking the dare seriously. Am I not stupid for wasting thirteen years of my life trying to win a challenge when my mates are doing better things with their lives? It's obvious I can never catch him."

"Ebun, can you please cut yourself some slack? How can you belittle all your efforts just like that?" Sean was irritated and he hoped that she could see that he was. He wanted to paste duck tape on her lips to prevent her from spewing more nonsense and self-sabotaging words. He didn't like how she kept making the whole incident about her.

"Not all efforts should be valued, babe," She went to say more words that irked him. Clearly, she was unaware of his mood or just didn't care. "I'm just being truthful. Vengeance isn't worth it and I think I should give you some advice because I care about you. I don't think you should continue with this retaliation thing either. In the long run, it does more harm than good. While you might think that you feel some fulfillment from punishing people who accuse others falsely, eventually you will hate yourself for wasting the lives of people that you shouldn't have."

Sean laughed as he removed his hands from her shoulders. Then he took a step back. He shut his eyes for a moment and opened them, hoping he would find himself in his bedroom, waking up from a nasty dream but Ebun was still in front of him, her face was cold and serious. He didn't want to believe she'd just told him that.

"Ebun," his voice was low. "This thing has kept me sane over the years. How can you tell me to stop?"

"It's the best thing to do, Sean," she shrugged, still oblivious to the fact that she'd just opened a sore in her lover's chest and had even poked a stick at it. "That's a good compromise you can make for us."

"To make you feel better about stopping?" his eyebrows rose in surprise. He could not believe her selfishness and how vocal she was about it. "Look, if you are bent on quitting, go ahead. I don't even care anymore. It hurts to watch you put a halt to a goal you've invested your all in to achieve but if it's what you want to do, fine. Do it. But I'm not going to stop what I do because of you."

"Alright, fine. You have a good point. You go ahead as I quit. It's the best thing to do," Ebun said, then she turned and started to walk down the passageway to the entrance.

"So...what does this mean now?" Sean asked after a while of processing what this could potentially be. The realization humbled him because his voice softened immediately. "Will you stop being my baby?"

Ebun stilled but didn't turn to face him. She held back the tears.

"I just can't stand to watch you waste your life like I did mine all for reprisal's sake. It will hurt me more."

There was a long silence and then Sean opened his mouth to speak. However, before he could ask if this was her way of breaking up with him, Ebun was already out of sight, purposely avoiding the question because she already saw it coming. She didn't want to answer, because she didn't know. Even if she did, she didn't want to admit its realness by verbalizing it.