Iris was trying to be upbeat, but her thoughts were more suffocating than the sweltering summer sun above. The creature in the tunnels. The amulet, or crystal, or past bearers, or maybe all of them, possessing her in the throne room. Micah.

He was a poison running through her veins. She hated him, she couldn't bear to think about him, and she couldn't get away from him. Every word, every touch, that horrible morning when he raped her. The pain and torture he inflicted during the extraction process was nothing compared to the rest of it. And the worst part of it all was that she meant nothing to him. She held no attraction for him beyond her magic, but he had studied her like any other test subject, any other enchanted creature, and he knew exactly how to make her feel as helpless as possible so she wouldn't fight back.

It hadn't worked, of course. He went too far and pushed her over the edge. Now he was dead and gone, and she was still here, broken beyond repair.

She should be happy. Char proposed to her, and he still treated her like she was something precious, even though she felt like she was filthy and unloveable. Being with him made her feel a little better. Rath, too, was a spot of sunshine in the darkness that surrounded her. And when they got back to the mountains, Elera would be there with her bear hugs and her incessant mothering. Iris would have a family, a real family, one that didn't change every few years.

But Micah took the only gift she had to give Char, and the amulet...

She didn't even want to think about that.

"That's it," Rath announced, tossing his packs down to the ground when the sun climbed to its zenith above them. "I can't stand this heat anymore. We're flying from here."

"Where did it even come from?" Char asked, tossing his pack with the rest. "It's been so cold lately, and then today, it's back to summer."

"It's because of the crystal," Iris said quietly.

Rath and Char looked up from rummaging around in the packs for food.

"What? How?" Rath asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know, but I know it's true."

All three of them sat down to eat for a few minutes. She had the feeling Char and Rath were waiting on further explanation, but she didn't have one to give them. The past bearers told her that all the wrongness she saw on her flights to the castle was because of the amulet needing to be restored to the crystal. She didn't know more than that.

"Well, let's get you bundled up," Rath finally said, untying the pack that held most of their blankets and standing up to let one unfold. "I'm going to apologize in advance, because I know this is going to make you feel absolutely miserable until we get in the air."

"I should hold the packs, too," Iris said, picking the other two packs up and climbing to her feet. Rath draped the first blanket around her shoulders.

"It'll be late when we get back," Char said, adding another blanket. "Too late to wake Mother. You'll have to stay in the barracks with us."

A thin layer of sweat covered Iris' skin even before they started piling the blankets on. The thick quilts and comforters were heavy around her shoulders, and she decided she had been exaggerating earlier when she thought the heat was suffocating. She wasn't exaggerating anymore. These blankets were indeed making her miserable.

"Kelnor will want a full report first thing in the morning, anyway," Rath continued. "Are you doing okay?"

Iris nodded. "Just really hot."

"Yeah, you are," Rath agreed, his teasing smirk out in full force.

"Rath," Char warned.

"What? I was just agreeing with her," Rath teased, his dancing blue eyes taunting Char. He earned a smack on his shoulder for his efforts.

"Can we continue this in the air?" Iris asked, giggling at their antics. "I think I'm going to melt."

"Rath, you go first," Char instructed.

"Yeah, yeah, you need to kiss her before we go. Don't take too long."

The blast of icy wind from Rath's transformation was welcome on Iris' flushed, perspiring cheeks. There were long strips of scaleless, abraded skin on his sides from using his own body to break rock when they fled that creature in the tunnel. Iris vividly remembered the shock of suddenly being in Rath's mouth, hot breath and sharp teeth surrounding her body. She didn't have a scratch on her from that.

"I knew it," Char muttered, watching his brother take off before he turned his attention back to Iris. "You can take my bed, and I'll sleep on the sofa," he told her, brushing her hair back behind her ear.

"Okay," she said, although she wasn't so sure she wouldn't be asking him to join her again. It was harder to be miserable when he held her in his arms.

He leaned in and kissed her softly. "You can tell me, Iris."

She nodded. "We should get going."

He pulled the blankets up over her head like a hood, and then he stepped back and transformed with another refreshing blast of arctic wind. She closed her eyes as his talons encircled her, as dangerous and as gentle as Rath's teeth. Her stomach lurched with his launch, and she heard the strong beats of his wings, taking them higher and higher, past the heat to where the air was cold and thin, where unconsciousness would take her and she wouldn't have to think anymore. Maybe she would tell Char what was bothering her tonight. Maybe not. It wasn't something for her to worry about right now.

I'm sorry, Iris. I love you.

The whispered words slipped into her subconscious, catching her attention and drawing her in. She saw her mother's tearful blue eyes again, felt her kiss on her forehead. The vision changed, but her mother's blue eyes remained, bright and cheerful this time. She cooed at Iris and tickled her cheek, laughing with Iris' gurgles and giggles. The dimple on her left cheek deepened as her smile widened. Iris was lying on her lap, her tiny, chubby fists waving in the air. Her mother scooped her up, holding her up above her head, laughing as Iris kicked out with her chubby legs that didn't quite work right yet. She pulled Iris in for a hug, kissing the top of her head.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Iris.

"Iris, wake up."

She opened her eyes to look up into Char's face. His fingers tucked her hair behind her ear, and she smiled at him.

"You always look so worried," she said, sitting up and letting the blankets fall away.

He grinned and leaned in to give her a soft kiss. "You almost died the first time."

"Iris!" Elera exclaimed, shoving Char aside and engulfing Iris in a bear hug. "Iris, you're alright!"

"Hello, Elera," Iris gasped.

"I lost the fairies! I don't know what happened to them - they were here one minute, and then the next, they were gone!"

"It's okay," Iris replied. "I summoned them."

Elera pulled back and stared at Iris in shock. "You what?"

"I summoned them. They should be back soon."

Elera frowned, and then she was squeezing Iris again.

"Mother, you're smothering her," Rath said from somewhere behind Iris, laughing.

"What are you wearing?" Elera asked, pulling back to study Iris' apparel.

"A dwarven man's clothes," Rath explained. "And Char and I are wearing human soldier's uniforms."

"What on earth-"

"It's late," Char intervened, taking Elera by the arm and pulling her to her feet. "We're okay, the fairies are okay, and you should go home and get some sleep. We'll tell you everything tomorrow."

Elera pursed her lips together. Iris got the feeling she was trying to force a frown, but she really wanted to smile. "And where is Iris sleeping tonight?"

Heat flooded Iris' cheeks as she realized what Elera was implying. She didn't dare look at Rath. Char held a straight face, but his lips twitched suspiciously.

"The fairies will be looking for Iris when they return, and we have to give a full report to Kelnor in the morning, so it will be easier if she stays here. I promise I'll sleep on the sofa."

"Hm." Elera's sharp blue eyes, so similar to Rath's, flicked from Char to Iris and back again. "See that you do. She's not one of your wild party girls, and you don't want to ruin your honeymoon."

Iris' stomach twisted, and she dropped her gaze to her lap, clenching her hands into fists.

"Goodnight, Mother," Char said. Rath echoed the sentiment, and Iris knew they both kissed Elera on the cheek, because their father raised them to be gentlemen toward women. Maybe they didn't always fill that role perfectly, but they never took advantage of anybody. Even when she was drunk and wouldn't have said no.

The walls were closing in on her.

"Goodnight, Iris."

Iris swallowed hard and looked back up at Elera, forcing a smile to her face. "Goodnight, Elera."

Elera was frowning now, and her eyes met Char's with a question. He shook his head slightly. She sighed and left.

"I think I'll get cleaned up before I go to bed," Iris announced, fleeing into Char's bedroom. The shame followed her. She darted into the bathroom, collapsing to her knees next to the tub and turning the faucets with trembling hands.

"Iris."

Char's soft voice came with his hands on her upper arms, gently pulling her back against his chest as he knelt behind her. The tears were already falling, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her together while she fell apart. She bent over his arms and sobbed. The pain of Elera's words, words that were meant to be harmless and teasing, pierced her heart. Char sat down and pulled her onto his lap, and she buried her face in his chest, curling up in his arms like a frightened child. He didn't say anything. His lips touched the top of her head, and he held her, and the bathwater kept running, and her tears kept flowing.

"I'm sorry," she choked out after an eternity.

"Don't apologize."

"I know I shouldn't apologize, and I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. I feel so dirty, like I'll never be clean again."

Char kissed the top of her head again. "I hate what he did to you, but that doesn't change anything for me. I still love you, and I still want you."

She closed her eyes and let his words wash over her, gradually relaxing as his hand stroked her hair. The water running in the background was a distant, soothing rhythm.

"Do you want me to sleep with you again?"

She nodded.

"Okay. Your bath's almost ready, and I should get cleaned up, too. Is it okay if I leave now?"

She nodded again, but she didn't move.

He sighed. "Iris..." He caught her chin and gently tilted her face up, placing a light kiss on her forehead. She opened her eyes and looked up into his, leaning back against his shoulder as his fingers wiped her tears away. "Did you bring anything to change into?"

She shook her head.

He sighed again and scooped her up, setting her on the floor beside him. "I'll be right back."

She took a deep breath and reached over to turn the faucets off. Char returned and handed her one of his shirts.

"I guess this will work for now. Mother will probably bring something over for you in the morning."

Iris nodded and looked up at him. "Thanks, Char."

He squatted down beside her and brushed her hair back from her face. "I'll use Rath's tub, but I won't be long."

She nodded again and watched him leave. The pain had dulled to an ache in her chest. She stood up and undid the ridiculously oversized dwarven belt, dropping it on the floor with the rest of her borrowed clothes. The soft white glow in the center of her chest glared at her in the mirror. Char would find out about that eventually, but not tonight. She sank into the hot bath and closed her eyes, repeating Char's words in her mind, recalling her mother's, thanking God for both of them.