I submitted a pitch for this story to the Pitching Studio in the Ambassador Newsletter | December 2024 by Ambassadors, and I'm considering making it my new blurb. But I just wanted to get a few opinions first and see what other people think.

*****

Current blurb:

Iris is an orphan, leading what she considers a normal life. As the oldest in Father John's care, she works hard to help bring in the money needed to feed and clothe the younger children, and she does it without complaint. Everybody in town knows her and loves her. Someday, she'll get married and start her own family, but a war looming over her home makes someday a distant prospect. Then magic invades her simple life, and everything she knows is turned upside down. She's suddenly the center of a war between dragons and humans, and the only person she can turn to for help is a stranger who may or may not be the enemy.

Char and his brother Rath are dragons and certified troublemakers. They're a favorite at parties, especially among girls, and a pain in their commanding officer's side. But Char's familiarity with humans earns him a scouting mission that brings with it more trouble than he could ever anticipate: a simple orphan girl. She's too innocent for the tangled web of magic tightening around her, and he's too impulsive to stay out of it, even if that means lying to his brother and risking his life to keep her out of the hands of a psychotic mage.

Their adventure is about to begin.

*****

Pitch (and possible new blurb): 

Iris never thought her life would be anything but normal, and she was okay with that. Normal was good. Safe. She wanted normal.

Not a magical amulet that throws her into the center of a war.

Suddenly caught between a ruthless mage and an army of dragons she hadn't even known existed, Iris finds herself alone, on the run, and shackled with magic she doesn't understand and can't control. Nowhere is safe. Nothing is normal. Nobody is trustworthy, especially not the stranger who offers help and then turns out to be just another person wanting to use her.

Or is he?

Is the key to her survival an impulsive dragon who can't stand by and watch her suffer?

Or is it possible she holds all the answers herself—and the power to end a war and save them all?

*****

Thoughts? Opinions? Cake recipes?