Warning
If you are not comfortable with the act of cutting and stuff related to suicidal pls be careful reading this chapter, if you ever need to talk my DMs are always open in Discord, Instagram, and Wattpad
Pls be careful what you read and enjoy the chapter

~~~Liam's P.O.V~~~

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my face once I made it into the castle. I walked through the palace halls, the tears pouring down my cheeks. I was an idiot. Why the hell did I think I could go to him and tell him I liked him. That I cared for him. I pushed the doors open to my room slamming them behind me, my hands shaking. 

I fell on my bed burying my face in my pillow waiting for everything inside me to break. It didn’t..

I stayed perfectly still tightly gripping my arm, before reaching over to my nightstand opening the drawer. I gently reached for a small knife. I gently dragged it against my wrist.

‘You’re such a screw up..’

‘They were all right, weren’t they?’

‘You don’t deserve to feel sorry for yourself..’

I gently made a small cut in my wrist baring my teeth a bit to stop from crying out in pain. 

‘One for how stupid I am. Two for being like this. Three for breaking my promise to my parents. Four for being a horrible older sibling. Five for Toni and because I’m even doing this. Six for being a horrible friend. Seven for the kingdom, Eight for being a horrible friend to Ryan. Nine because I’m doing this.’

I stared down at the cuts in my arm. The pain was manageable but it still hurt. I walked to the bathroom looking at myself in the shattered mirror before washing the blood of my arm, gritting my teeth at the pain.

I stared at the ground before taking off my hoodie that had a bit of blood on it staring at it. “You’re such a fuck up..”

I shook my head before pulling on some bandages and a different hoodie walking towards my bed falling onto it with a sigh.

I closed my eyes tightly gripping my bed sheets sitting in the silence before I heard the window opening.

I shot up grabbing the knife staring at the figure in the dark.

“I didn’t think you would be the one pulling the knife on me, love..”

I swallowed back anything I wanted to tell him before lowering the knife. He walked forward sitting next to me on my bed. I stared down at the ground.

“... I’m sorry.. I-... I didn’t mean to react like that, Liam..”

I shook my head

“The worst thing is… that even after all of that.. I still have feelings for you after all of that.. I-... I still care for you..”

He stayed silent. Staring down at the bed, before turning to me his eyes showed concern. “Liam.. I-... I can’t care for you.. I-.. I don’t know how to..”

“Neither do I..”

We both stayed silent sitting in the dark. I gently traced shapes onto the bed sheet, trying to think of something to say.

It was finally in that moment I realized why people feared silence. 

“... Is that why you told me no.. Is that why you keep leaving..?”

“I leave because I don’t want to hurt you.. I keep pushing you away because I-... I don’t want you to get dragged into my messes, love..”

I turned to him staring at him with the concern in my eyes. 

“I know I’m not enough for you, and I know it’s not allowed.. I-.. I don’t understand emotions well enough to tell you what I feel.. I’m not like you.. I’m not human.. I never was.. So why are we expecting me to act like one..?”

“... Ryan, you don’t have to convince me.. You don’t have to ever be scared that you aren’t enough..” I spoke gently reaching for his hand. To my surprise he didn’t flinch away; he instead gripped my hand tightly.

“I-...” He sighed a bit. “You don’t know the mess you're getting into, love. I-.. how can I even make up the last time you were in a relationship.. I-.. I don’t-”

I gently leaned forward to my surprise; I wasn’t the only one leaning forward. It was the first kiss that didn’t come with someone trying to pressure me to do something intimate. It was the first kiss that wasn’t a tease. It was the first kiss that I wasn’t drunk for. 

He gently reached up cupping my cheek before we pulled away soon after. I smiled a bit leaning my forehead against his, closing my eyes with a small smile. I felt his arms go around me pulling me a bit closer. 

“You don’t have to convince me Ryan.. You don’t have to ever be scared you aren’t enough.. Because what we have going on.. It’s good..”

He didn’t reply. Instead he stayed silent resting his head against mine.

“Is it possible…?”

“.. I-... I’m not sure Ryan… I think this may just be the one time in my life I can’t actually do things my way..” I mumbled 

He didn’t say anything instead he just kissed the side of my head before pulling away. “The one time this happens.. It just happens to be you.. How cruel the world can be..”

I nodded my head in agreement. A thought came to mind though. I gently reached for his hand.

“.. I’m not with anyone else yet.. Even if our time is brief I-.. I just want to ask.. If.. maybe we could be more than.. Friends..?” I asked.

A small trace of a smile played on his face before he nodded without speaking. I smiled a bit gently laying down on the bed, before he followed after wrapping his arms around me. I gently snuggled against his chest. For the first time in my life. I felt safe. I felt so sure this was how it was supposed to be.. This is how we were meant to be.. It’s only us..

I felt myself falling asleep; tightly holding onto the memory of today.

❤️❤️❤️
That was an adorable scene to write, QwQ
I love these two beans so much, and I hope you enjoyed this niceo chapter, anyway till next time Bai Bai