"Ride with me." I order Alessia in a sharper tone that I originally intended.

I catch the surprise in her warm brown eyes before she inclines her head in agreement.

A whispered word to the guards and I know our horses will be saddled and ready to go before we even reach the stables. It is a relief considering the nervous energy trembling through me right now as the contents of the note run through my head. Every instinct in me is screaming. Even my confident, protective Undoing is telling me to run.

I am not safe. Not here, and not anywhere for that matter. The skirts of my gown swish as I hurry back through the grounds. Ordinarily I would change before a ride, but not this time. 

"Is everything alright my queen?" Alessia asks in a low voice once we are far enough from the crowds not to be overheard.

"Not right here. Not now." I whisper back, keeping my face impassive to hold back the swirling emotions insides of me. 

"My queen?"

I can tell she is concerned and I have no way to comfort her as these feelings riot inside of me.

The stone stables come into view and I sigh in relief to see my gentle mare, Alba, is already stood near the gate, her head held by a stable hand. It has been too long since I last rode her, but she looks well and her dappled grey coat gleams in the sunlight. I watch her ears prick forward in interest as she sights me, and cannot help my smile. 

There is a slight commotion behind her as a boy fights to hold the head of Trix, Alessia's wild war horse. She fights for control and paws the ground as if freedom from them is her right.

Alessia chuckles and grabs the reins as Trix goes to rear again, effectively holding her down. Trix snorts and prances back a few paces before finally accepting her mistress's hand and nuzzling into her.

It has always been a wonder to me that a beast so strong can change on an instant in the hands of one she trusts.

As Alessia swings up into the saddle, she glances pointedly at me and I hurry to the step, climbing up onto Alba with slightly less ease and far less grace. 

Alessia nods to the mounted guard who joins us and I sigh. Although I would have preferred to speak to her alone, there is no such thing as truly alone now I am Queen.

I click my tongue and Alba sets off at a trot down the path that runs parallel with the woods. We soon pick up speed and as she breaks into a gallop, I feel as though I can finally breathe again. For the first time in a long time, I do not feel watched. I do not feel as though everyone is waiting for me to misstep. I finally feel free.

Alessia doesn't say anything as her wild horse easily keeps pace with mine and I ease up to a trot again.

The guards with us are just far enough back that I feel safe to explain. 

"I received another note." I tell her.

Her sharp look tells me she is not impressed I kept this to myself, but she's too busy running scenarios in her head to be truly angry at me. "From who? Where?"

"Just after the speech. A child said a cloaked man asked her to give it to me. She didn't see his face and she couldn't point him out either before you ask." I say, already anticipating her questions.

"You should have said something immediately so I could question her." Alessia grumbles. 

"I doubt you would discover anymore than I." I sigh.

She makes a noise that tells me she disagrees, "What did the note say?" 

"It is more about what it contained," I say worriedly, "A map with a light fae seal, no family name unfortunately. It shared our defences and numbers. Who it was for and whether it made it into their hands, I do not know." A sigh slips out of me as I look back over my shoulder at the castle, "I fear our home is not safe anymore."

Alessia curses under her breath, "I will review plans immediately upon our return and change numbers and locations to keep our armies safe."

I bite my lip, "That is not all." 

Her face betrays her fury and fear as I open my mouth and say the part that truly frightened me, "The note read 'Do you know who watches you, little one?'" I take a shuddering breath, "And was sealed with my family seal."

I hold up my hand to show the family ring on my finger and watch her mind come of the same horrifying conclusion. There is only one made and someone must have used it in my sleep, because it never left my hand.

"Not only is the traitor of our own court, but they are moving around the castle utterly undetected. Who knows what other knowledge they hold?" I shake my head. 

The note in the book, the eyes on me, the prophecy in my room, and now this. "What could their reason for doing this be?" Alessia snaps in frustration.

Suddenly, I cannot keep this a secret any long. I cannot hide this anymore and I cannot be alone.

"I have another truth to tell you. One from the day of the battle." I mumble.

Alessia's gaze is sharp and assessing. I think she has suspected I have been holding something back all along. I meet her eye with a look that begs her not to judge me. 

"It is about how Ayden died. It is about who killed him and what I did." I whisper, shaking my head.

The story pours out of me in a rush and Alessia doesn't speak or interrupt for the whole sordid length of it. When I finally fall silent, I look at her and briefly wonder if I have somehow made an awful mistake. 

Although my friend, she is loyal to the Kingdom, and she was to my brother as well. If she believes I am a danger to everyone, would she protect me?

"Thank you." she says, and my eyes meet hers. "Thank you for trusting me with the truth." 

I nearly cry at the gentle understanding in her tone. "I shouldn't have kept it from you, but I didn't know who to trust. Even now I am uncertain." 

"You can trust me, I just don't know who else. The court feels different these days. So many secrets and lies, blaming and scheming. Whatever you might fear, know this is not your fault. None of it. We cannot choose our gifts, anymore than the colour of our hair." She says firmly.

A sob rises in my throat and I swallow hard. "It is such a relief to finally tell someone."

"I can only imagine. Your secrets are always safe with me, Elora." She offers a small smile I return.

We ride in silence for a few moments longer before turning our horses to return to the castle. "Now what?" I ask quietly.

She sighs, "Now I make discreet enquiries. You keep researching your gift and we stay close until we know who this stranger is."

How does she makes it sound so simple? As though it is the most normal thing in the world to have a stalker following my moves and knowing more about what is going on in my court than I do.

Is he taunting me? How much knowledge does he hold?

My dismount in the yard is clumsy thanks to my stiff legs from riding side-saddle and grip Alba's sweaty neck to keep myself from falling.

A smiling stable hand appears to lead her away. "No." I say, keeping hold of her reins, "I will settle her in, thank you."

He nods his head in acknowledgement and stands back to allow me to lead her to her stall. The methodical removal of the saddle and is strangely relaxing. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Alessia doing the same thing. Her expression is openly curious, as though she cannot understand my dedication to the mundane task.

Even I cannot, as I unbuckle the bridle and gently pull it over Alba's ears. She shakes her head and shifts around, pleased at the freedom. I imagine it feels much like removing a heavy dress at the end of a long day of dancing.

The stable boys are collecting each piece I remove and hurrying off to clean it before I can protest. Reluctant to leave, I brush her down, enjoyed her pleased little huffing into my hair.

"I should have known I would find you here." Owen's voice makes me jump and I spin to face him.

"You know me too well." I tell him with a smile.

"Well enough to know when I am being avoided." he softens the statement with a smile that tells me he is not as hurt as he pretends.

Still, his words make cause guilt to rise in my chest, "You know I am just trying not to show favour because of the-"

"Yes, the games, I know. I just miss you Lori. I miss my friend." 

The quiet confession is somehow worse than if he had shouted at me. "I miss you too. I'm so sorry, it has been so-" I struggle to find the words to describe the last few weeks, "challenging." 

He nods as though he understands completely. How can he when he hardly knows the half of it? "May I walk you back to the castle? Perhaps we can chat awhile?"

I glance at Alessia, who is watching us both quietly, "I don't see why not." I smile, returning the brushes to their shelf and offering him my arm.

Allowing him to fill my mind with the mindless chatter that used to fill my time is perhaps the best thing I could have done. Everything from books he has read to the court gossip he has overheard. The perks of quietly blending in are that he knows more than people realise. In his words, I can lose the part of me that is so fearful.

I consider revealing my secret. Then Owen laughs as he describes a funny incident involving one maid, a peacock, and an apple pie. I laugh with him and decide to keep my secret to myself. I laugh with him and make the decision to keep my secret to myself. Dangers and mystery may trouble one of us, but why should we both suffer?

I like my dear friend as he is. Carefree, kind, and unbothered by darkness.