By the time luncheon comes around, my head is brimming with everything I've learnt. I feel like a cup, overflowing with knowledge, and I don't know how I will hold a coherent conversation without mentioning any of it to Owen as we eat.

Then he bounds out onto the same terrace I had breakfast with Ezra on, and my whole body relaxes. There is the same unbridled joy in his face I am used to seeing when he discovers an interesting new book.

I hope he can lead the conversation as I drift back into my mind.

"Lori, I was so happy when I got your note." He smiles, reaching to hold my hand across the table.

I try to focus on him. "Well, I have to spend time with each of the champions and I know how much you enjoy the lunch dipping platters, so I thought this would be perfect." I tease.

His eyes search mine, sensing my distraction, perhaps. "You know me so well."

I am relieved when he decides not to call me out on my lack of focus. "Well, we have been friends for years."

The smile that splits his face turns dreamy, as though remembering those years. "So we have. How are you feeling about tomorrow?"

I know he is referring to the evening ball I ordered. How do I feel? I know everyone is expecting me to make my decision there, and I thought I would be ready to. The closer we get, the less sure I feel, and the further I move away from choosing my betrothed.

"As well as I can be." I force a smile.

"You don't have to lie to me, Elora. I think we've known each other long enough that we owe each other that."

"I know, I'm sorry, there's so much going on. I don't even know how to explain it all."

"You don't have to explain anything. Just talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind." He suggests gently.

I sit for a moment, wondering where I would even begin. A coughing noise by the door pulls my attention and I glance at Alessia, who is looking resolutely in the other direction.

"I love you, Elora. You should talk to me. I want you to choose me." Owen's declaration has me spinning back to him, my eyes wide with shock.

"Owen?" I whisper.

"Why is that such a surprise? I've never tried to hide how I feel. Talk to me. Let me help you."

I search his expression, trying to understand whether he is what I need. Whether he is what the Undoing needs.

"Don't you trust me?" Owen asks, almost desperately now.

Did I trust him? I thought I did. But are love and trust even the same?

I don't think they are for us, not yet at least.

"Yes." I whisper, "But I don't know if I love you. Not the way I should love the man I am going to marry."

"Perhaps I can love enough for the both of us? You know I care for you, Elora. Your friendship would be enough. I just need you to choose me."

"It's not that simple!"

"Then why can't you make it that simple?"

"It's about more than just me. I need the right person to lead at my side, to create alliances, to help me." I try to explain without giving away too much. Something about his expressions tells me I've done a terrible job.

There's a sort of resignation in his eyes now. "You don't think that's me?"

"I didn't say that."

He closes his eyes. "You didn't need to."

My heart is pounding in my chest and I want to comfort him, but I don't even know where to start. I cannot tell him I will choose him when I don't even know what I need to do yet. My silence is clearly answer enough for him as he stands slowly and bows. "Thank you for lunch, my Queen. I will see you at the ball."

I open my mouth to reply, but he is already gone.

Guilt fills my chest at the knowledge that I have hurt my friend. I always knew it was an option, from the moment he revealed he was entering the games. I just never understood it would hurt this much.

Looking out over the gardens I remind myself again that this is not just about me. I wasn't lying when I said I needed the right person to lead at my side. I want what my parents had. A love and a friendship that made the perfect partnership, and kept my mother sane.

◆◇◈◇◆

"I heard you had spent time with the other two and I wondered when you would visit me." Melida's slightly accented voice greets me.

"Apologies for not sending word. I intended to have dinner with you, but time got away from me." I say ruefully.

She laughs and I smile as well. "No apologies necessary, your majesty. I had supposed you might save the best till last."

Her words and cheeky grin startle a laugh from me.

"Lady Melida, would you join me for a stroll around the gardens?"

She nods and takes in my cloak before retrieving her own from behind the door. "I would love to, my Queen."

I wait patiently as she shuts the door to her chambers and spells it to lock with a wave of her fingers. I realise I have not seen her perform any magic before, although she must have to make it this far in the games.

"You are curious about my magic?"

Her soft question and easy read of me have my eyebrows shooting up. "I am interested if you are open to discussing it?"

She laughs at my diplomatic answer. "I am open to discussing anything with someone I hope is considering becoming my betrothed."

I feel my cheeks flush, and she links arms with me as we walk towards the garden. "I have something of an affinity with water." She explains, "Not that I can bend it to my will, but sometimes I can feel it inside me, like another entity entirely. I understand it and it is me. The creatures of the depths recognise my connection to it and respond accordingly."

"Like the Kelpie?" I reply, understanding dawning over me.

"Like the Kelpie." She agrees.

We walk in silence as I wonder how I could explain my magic to her without revealing what it is.

She seems to realise I am uncomfortable with the topic and as we descend the stairs to the gardens, quickly changes it. "I know I may not be your first choice for betrothed right now. It is clear you have a history with the others vying for your hand, but you should know what things might be like if you choose me."

I nod and move to take a seat on a nearby bench. She follows, taking a moment to look up at the stars before speaking again. "I don't believe that love can be restricted. I believe you can desire and adore more than one person. Gender, age and even number of lovers do not come into it in my world. We may not love one another now, but I feel a spark of something I would love to explore. I would not mind if you wished to bring another into our relationship as long as you would be open to me doing the same if I met something I felt strongly about."

I don't move for a moment, choosing my words carefully when I finally speak. "Are you saying you would like our relationship to be open?"

There has been talk of relationships like this in hushed whispers around the court, but never from within the lords and ladies of the kingdom. I bite back a smile at the thought of the scandal and fury it would elicit from the council who forced me into this.

"Not exactly open, but I suppose fluid and wider than the average." She explains with a laugh.

Oh, I could imagine the rumours and gossip now. In another time, another circumstance, I would likely have wanted to explore things further with her, but my heart knows she is not the one I need. With Owen and Ezra, there is this bond and pull which tells me that one of them is my soulmate. With Melida, there is attraction, but nothing more.

"I see." Melida says quietly and I frown at her. "I see that you already have feelings for someone. There have been too many torn from their lovers for me to wish to stand in the way of that."

I want to ask her what she has seen, but the pain in her gaze halts the words before they leave my mouth. It is not my story to know or pry into. "Thank you, Lady Melida. You are one of the kindest people I have spoken to throughout this." I say instead, reaching out to rest a hand over hers in her lap.

She looks down and them and squeezes my fingers gently. "Then I am afraid it seems you have kept very poor company, as I am not particularly kind."

I giggle and shake my head, "I'm afraid you may be right. Will you stay awhile and enjoy the stars with me?"

"I can think of nothing I would enjoy more, my Queen."