I am relieved for the silent ride. Tryan hasn't spoken to me in hours; not that I've been particularly loquacious either. The silence gives me time to think. I don't know how Tryan is expecting to keep me alive, since he still refuses to take me to Berirind to get the antidote. Apparently, it's too dangerous.

"We'll find a way," he keeps saying. We haven't spoken since the last time I insisted we go to Berirind. I brought it up during our lunch of apples and leftover fish a few hours ago. I even tried playing the "I'm the princess and I order you" card, but he just laughed and hasn't talked to me since. It feels like we are back to the way we were before; cold and shutting each other out. I am the princess, he is my escort. I guess it is better this way. Now I don't have to worry about feelings that aren't there, although, I have to admit it was nice having a friend.

Tryan seems genuinely concerned about protecting me, almost to the point that he'd risk his own life to save mine. I think my incident with the poison has really set him over the edge, though. I don't think he knows what to do. It's like it is driving him crazy that he can't do anything about this unseen killer inside me.

The one thing I forgot to ask Markus before I killed him was how long I have to live. Tryan isn't sure but he thinks about a month. That means I probably won't be able to see Brycen or Papa again. Definitely not Jenisyn. It takes three weeks to get to Elveskold. Even if we were to turn around right now and go back, by the time she got the news, and came home, I'd already be dead or, at least on my deathbed.

I don't know exactly how I feel about dying. I've never even thought about it; no reason to. I guess I have mixed feelings about it. I don't have anyone really close to me except my family and I already said my goodbyes before I left. Not that I knew I was going to die before I left, but I didn't know how long it would be before I'd be able to see them again. Now I do; never.

I've been going back and forth all day, trying to decide whether I'm going to let Papa and Brycen know about my predicament. Sometimes I think that it would just be easier to just die without letting them know, but I know it would break their hearts. They would never forgive Tryan if I died and who knows what they would do to him. I was put under his care and I am going to die under his care. That won't sit very well with my father. Tryan was right. If only I had stuck with the plan, I would have been with Tryan the whole time and I wouldn't have been shot. If only I wasn't so stubborn, I wouldn't be a dead girl walking. If only I had listened to Tryan when he told me to wait for him that night I left, then his future wouldn't lie on the balance of whether I live or die.

If only. If only. If only. It makes me start to cry, thinking about all these stupid mistakes that I've made. Mistakes that, in the long run, will have great effects on people. On Tryan.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, the first words I've spoken aloud in hours.

Tryan looks back at me and the look on his face tells me that his mind registers the tears streaming down my face.

"For what?" he asks.

"For this. All of this. You've been dragged into all of this and now there isn't a way out. It's not going to be easy for you to face my father after I'm dead. Who knows what could happen to you? You were right. Absolutely right. I am stubborn and I should have waited for you and now I'm going to die and you will get the blame for it."

Tryan halts Sunny and turns to me.

"Elaerya," he says. His voice has a tone of sadness. "You aren't going to die. I'm going to make sure of it. Your personality is what makes you who you are and I wouldn't change any of it. I'm not sorry that I am a part of this."

"What do you mean you aren't sorry?" I sob. "This could very well mean your life! My life for yours. Or a lifetime of imprisonment!"

"I know." Tryan runs a hand through his dark hair. "I'm not saying that I'm glad this happened. I should be the one apologizing. I should never have said those things at your party. It wasn't my place. I should have come after you when you left instead of wasting time. I would have been there when those men attacked you. If anything, it's my fault."

I shake my head furiously. "No, Tryan. Don't think that. I can't have you blaming yourself for my mistakes. I just can't—ow!"

I grab at my bandaged arm, which is suddenly burning uncontrollably. I double over Scarlet's neck in pain. What was going on? It's never hurt this bad before. The pain is blinding me! I just barely register Tryan jump down from Sunny and rush over to me. I see his lips form my name as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me from my saddle. The pain consumes me as Tryan carries me to the edge of the road and sits me down against a tree.

"Tryan," I gasp. "The pain!"

He rips the bandage off my arm and the sight is sickening. The cut is oozing a blue-gray slime and my skin around the injury has turned a nasty purple-green color. The poison is spreading.

I hug my knees and bury my face in my arms, waiting for the pain to subside. After a few minutes, the pain becomes bearable again and I lift my head, tears in my eyes. Tryan is sitting there next to me, looking at me with concerned eyes.

"Better?" he asks.

I nod, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "It still hurts but not the burning pain like it was." I notice he has a cloth in his hand. I didn't even know he got up to get it.

"I'm going to try and clean the wound up, okay?"

I nod again and he starts to dab at the ooze with the cloth, but he quickly pulls away looking confused.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Your arm. It's so hot to touch." Tryan reaches forward and places the back of his hand on my forehead and then on my cheek. "Elaerya, you're burning up!"

"Really? I feel fine, except for the pain in my arm."

"Your body temperature being this high can't be a good thing. We should stop for the night anyway and here is as good a place as any. I'll put some cool cloths on you and see if that helps your fever."

"But I feel fine, really. We can keep moving."

"Elaerya, please. Now is not the time to be stubborn. We are only about a half a day away from Lycera. We can rest here for tonight, see what we can do about this fever of yours, and make it to Lycera for lunch."

I give in and let him finish dressing my wound. He is right. There is no need to be stubborn, especially since I know what my stubbornness can lead to. We move a little farther off the road to set up camp and Tryan convinces me to set up a few snares before we go to bed. Hopefully we can catch some breakfast. I am so hot in my bedroll that I have to lay on top of it. Tryan insists on sleeping next to me to keep an eye on my temperature. I have cold cloths draped over my face and arms, and I have to admit that I actually feel much better.

"Tryan?" I say, peeking at him from under my cloth. He is on his stomach resting with his chin on his arms.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

He doesn't answer but I feel a gentle hand stroke my hair as I fall asleep.

I awake with a start sometime later. My arm is burning again. I pull the cloths off my body and sit up, shivering. It's so cold! My arm is pulsing with pain and it radiates up and down my arm. The pain brings tears to my eyes and I must have cried out because Tryan suddenly wakes up. He sees my face and instantly knows what the problem is. He takes my hand.

"Squeeze until it stops hurting," he says calmly.

I do and it somewhat takes my mind off the pain until it stops. I'm sweating and shivering at the same time. It is a miserable feeling. Tryan feels my forehead again and frowns.

"Your temperature is still high. We need to get more cold cloths on you."

"No," I shake my head. "Please, I'm so cold." My teeth are chattering so loud I'm surprised he can't hear them.

"Here. We need to keep you warm." he takes off his tunic and slides it over my head. I can immediately feel a difference and my teeth stop chattering.

"Lay down so I can put some more cloths on you. We have to get this fever down."

He helps me slide into my bedroll, pulling it up to my chin, and he re-wets the cloths and lays them over my head. Then he covers me in his own bedroll.

"What about you?" I ask.

"Don't worry about me. Just get some rest."

I gladly oblige him and the next time I wake up, it is morning. I sit up and see Tryan sitting against a tree, watching me.

"Your fever finally broke a few hours ago," he says.

"How long have you been up?"

"Since the last time you woke up in pain. I had to make sure those cloths kept cool. They seem to have done their job."

He was up all night. Watching me. Making sure my temperature stayed low.

"Why didn't you go to sleep after my fever broke?"

"I wanted to make sure it didn't come back."

I pull off his tunic and hand it back to him along with his bedroll.

"Thank you, again."

"You're welcome."

I watch him pull his tunic over his head and my eyes wander to his torso. It is muscled and tan from his outdoor life. His strong arms make me think back to when he held me in the lake. We were so close...

I shake my head to clear my mind and pack up my bedroll. I need to stop thinking these things. If I'm going to keep myself alive then I can't afford to have any distractions.

"I'm going to go check the snares," I say.

"Alright. I'll get the horses ready to leave."

I make my way to the first snare and I am pleased to find a rabbit. The second snare has two and the third, a squirrel. I pass by an apple tree and pick a few and haul my game back to our campsite.

"I got us some breakfast," I say, presenting the apples and tossing my kill at his feet.

"Lunch and dinner it looks like as well," Tryan laughs.

I toss him an apple. "Eat up so we can get going. I'm tired of sleeping on the ground."

Tryan laughs.

"You think I'm joking," I glare at him and he stops laughing.

The look on his face is so funny that I can't keep a straight face anymore. I burst out laughing and Tryan joins in. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a friend these last few weeks of my life.