❝ When you try your best, but you don't succeed.
When you get what you want, but not what you need.
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep.
Stuck in reverse.❞

─Coldplay

https://youtu.be/k4V3Mo61fJM

"Well I guess I'll tell you about my past as well," I sigh and avert my eyes to the sky and concentrate that I do not break down in front of him.

"I am an only child that was raised by my father. Andrew is the only person that I might consider like a sibling. It was the two of us against the world that is until I met Marcus. My father tried his best to always be there for me as a father, mother, and a friend but being the alpha always seemed to get in the way." I laugh at the thought, how naïve was I, swallowing down the lump forming, "I find it silly now but when I was younger it really struck a nerve when my father was never able to come to the father daughter events at school. I would throw it in his face when all my friends fathers were there with their daughters and I had to stay home or stand on the sidelines and watch as my friends enjoyed their time with their old man."

"Anyways we were having a rocky relationship until I graduated high school. By this time my father was spending so much time with Andrew and his Beta that I started getting jealous. He could make time for them and not for me? I would get into physical fights with Andrew because of this I'm not even sure how we are even friends still. I took it for granted back then but I would kill for one more night that my father would walk into my room in the middle of the night and kiss me goodnight." My hands are on top of the table and they clench into fist as I try to control my feelings. Hunter's hands wrap around mine and I look into his eyes and they soften.

"A couple months back my father and I started my training I was having trouble with my wolf and my father didn't like it. My animal side was taking full control of me once I was in wolf form and my father decided that I needed to learn control. It appears that my wolf was becoming restless that I hadn't found my mate." Rolling my eyes my wolf growl unhappily, "The week that we were training there was going to be a party for one of the wolfings that finally shifted. My father convinced me to go to it and who would have thought, the alpha's daughter found her mate at last."

My wolf scuffles away not wanting to think about Marcus I wish I could to. "Marcus was part of another pack he never told me which pack it was I guess he used that as an advantage because I can't trace him back to them. Anyways he came down because he is related to a family here." My eyes go to Hunter his hands still wrap around mine and shrug for no apparent reason.

"After we met that night we were inseparable. We spend every minute together but away from the packs eyes. See I've always been the type to be serious a no nonsense type of girl but with him he would make me become a completely different person." I stop for a moment and take a deep breath.

"You don't have to keep going if you don't want to," Hunter says but my eyes look over my hands.

"I haven't even gotten to the best part."

"Your hands? They are not getting warmer." He rubs them fast trying to heat them up.

"I'm always cold and your hands are cold as well," I watch as he stops and I can feel him staring so I look up. "It happened when you lost your mate?" I nod, "mine did as well."

"Where was I? Ah I was not the same person with him around. I was so much happier and I felt complete. My wolf had her partner as well with his wolf and me well I found my soul mate. Marcus was brave, strong, and caring. We did our rounds together and when we were free we stuck to each other like gum under our shoes."

After a week of being together my father and his beta and omega went to a meeting a couple towns over I was never intended to be alpha you see. My father's beta and omega were younger wolves that were to step up if anything happen to my father. On their way home from the meeting they were ambushed by a rogue pack. His beta and omega didn't survive."

They were so young. My wolf grieves for them and whimpers.

"My father came back home alone that night. I was with Marcus and he was trying to console me as my wolf wreaked havoc inside me. She was feeling a burst of power that managed to cripple me at the moment. She was taking her spot as my father's beta. My father walked inside his shoulder had a huge gash across it and he had a couple broken ribs. My father never really healed well after my mother's passing. So this took him longer to recover than it did for a normal wolf."

"Your father wanted to go with his mate but he had you to look after. His wolf gave up on hope but his human fatherly side couldn't leave you."

"I guess. My mother passed away giving birth to me and he didn't want to live in a place where his mate wasn't but he didn't want to leave his daughter to fend for herself. My father was back to his feet three days later but the doctor didn't want his shifting at all and he warned us that he might not survive another fight. I made him promise to not fight anymore to leave it to the young wolves instead. My father was Alpha, I was his beta, and Andrew became his omega. My father taught the both of us everything we needed to know about managing a pack. Andrew and I became closer as well as my father and I bonded over all the time spend together. Marcus started to notice subtle changes in me. I was stronger, faster, and more aggressive when it came to fighting."

"Marcus and I loved to play fight just like wolf pups. Once Marcus tried pinning to the couch and I flipped him off of it and pinned him to the ground I hadn't noticed how hard I pinned him until he got up and there was a crack on the floor. I didn't know my own strength." A hiccup of a breath makes its way through me.

Here we go.

"One night we were making our rounds Marcus and I decided to split up so we could finish faster. I made my way to the west end of the territory when I came across a scent of a wolf. Not a rogue just a wolf, but what did stop me was the hormones along with this wolfs scent. He was unmated and in heat. I remember that it was a split second after realizing it that something tackled me from the side. A huge copper wolf is on top of me. I was 'unmated' as well so Marcus' scent wasn't on me. I growled and snapped at the wolf trying my best to fight him off. He was just so much stronger than me."

My eyes water and Hunter's infuriating eyes lock on mine. "He didn't?" The tears start streaming down my face but I shake my head in the negative.

"No, he didn't rape me. My father came to my aide. Shoving that wolf off of me and going after it. They both ran into the forest and that's when I heard the growling and whimpering. I mind linked my father to leave it I'm fine but he wouldn't res-" I gasp for air and drop my head whipping my hands out Hunter's as I bury my face into them.

The pain came hurling through me with no mercy. I cry out in pain and it seems as if I am back at the night my chest being ripped apart raw. The seat next to me creaks in protest as Hunter's weight invades the emptiness next to me.

"Melany," he whispers but I bury my face deeper into my hands. He wraps his arm around me and his hand grips my bare arm the pain simultaneously vanishes from within me with his touch. I swallow down the lump and lift my face out of my hands.

Hunter has his eyes close but his face shows clear signs of pain. His eyebrows pull together and he winces before he opens his eyes. They are on me scrutinizing me, "that was painful."

"More painful that Haley's pain," I whisper as all my thoughts go to Haley the pain she went through is more than mine I'm sure.

"Yours and Haley's pains are mental for me once I let go the pain vanishes but your is emotional pain nothing that I do can help me reduce it with Haley it was more physical where I could massage my head or hers and that would dull the pain for a moment at least. Do you want to stop?"

"I feel as if I need to let it all out," Hunter nods and he keeps his hand on my arm, "Marcus came running after me as I ran to the forest. The smell of blood invading my nostril I didn't have to look too far my father and the wolf were sprawl across the ground. The other wolf wasn't breathing and my father was barely able to gasp for air. I shifted and ran to run wrapping my arms around him begging him to stay he couldn't leave me alone. I held my father until he took his last breath. Marcus had to drag me away from him," my eyes snap to the pack house and I see that the curtains move from the kitchen window must be Andrew.

"That day my wolf and I changed. She became the Alpha and I become this depressed and angry girl. My wolf added to my aggression and dominance and Marcus decided that it was too much for him to handle so he left me a few weeks after my father's death."

"So he is alive then?"

"Probably."

"You haven't talked to him?"

"Nope, he wants it to seem as if I never found my mate. Out of sight out of mind I guess."

"That is a worthless excuse for a mate, excuse me for being blunt. He's not even worthy of calling you his mate."

You're telling me.

A small smile spreads across my lips and I look over at him and he stares back.

"What's funny?"

"My wolf agrees with you and she never agrees with anyone. She always wants to pick a fight with anyone around."

"I think that if I would meet your wolf I would like her as well," my wolf ears perk up and she lowers her head, what is wrong with you?

"I highly doubt that," I smirk at her and then burst into a carefree laugh when my wolf growls and snaps at me.

"Did she make you laugh?" Hunter's eyebrows raise and he stares at me as I fight to breathe.

"Yea," the smell of pancakes makes it way out of the pack house and towards us. I take in the aroma and my stomach growls.

"Come let's get some breakfast it seems like you need to gain some weight you look underweight." He helps me out of my seat and we walk to the back door. For the first time in the past weeks I am actually looking forward to breakfast.

I told you talking to him would help you with your emotions.