❝They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go.❞

─ Imagine Dragons

https://youtu.be/LqI78S14Wgg

I am stronger than this. There is no excuse for me acting like this. I have to be strong not just for me but for the good of my pack. They will not survive with Andrew as their alpha. That brings the faintest of smiles to my lips.

The real question is can they survive with you as their alpha, an alpha which has not even taken full position of her status.

I can if you are by my side.

My wolf makes an animalistic sound that somewhat resembles a chuckle.

Even through the pain a small smile pulls at the corner of my mouth. Somehow I pull myself together, well at least enough, to help me get off the floor and stand on my feet.

I keep my eyes away from the mirror as I pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the floor. Undressing becomes a habit when you become a wolf─ you are always undressing and dressing─ and getting into the shower turning the cold water knob all the way it would go.

The water pulses to life and cascades over my body chilling me to the bone and washing away the sweat from last night and my thoughts drift further and further away from my lost mate. My fingers grab the loofah and I pour the liquid body soap on it. I scrub my entire body as if I was trying to scrub off my skin but I realize that it is not my skin but my mind that remembers his scent.

I take an ice cold shower and washing away the soap my mind controls my body and it moves like a robot with no emotions. Putting on a pair of sweats and a hoodie to keep me warm my eyes cannot avoid the mirror for too long my eyes take in the dark circles around my eyes. They move up my stormy gray eyes look back at me.

You need more rest. My wolf worries about me.

I wish there was a way or even a potion that could make me sleep more but you know that it is hard at the moment.

My long hair is tangled grabbing my comb I brush through my long red hair the bristles rip through my tangle mess. The length frustrates me making me want to chop it off right here but that will not happen. My fierce red hair is one of the few features that my mother passed down so I cherish it. My hand keeps guiding the brush through my hair as I comb out all the knots. Taking one last look in the mirror there is nothing more to do with it so I go with natural straight hair like every other day.
Walking into my bedroom the scent of pancakes makes it way upstairs into my room and to my nose.

Instead of my usual hunger for human food I repress my throat from gagging. Food has not peak my interest in a couple days. My wolf wants to run free into the woods and hunt. I have not let her hunt in the past week and she seems restless with me. She is mad that I make it seem as if I am the only one that lost the love of her life. She has lost her mate, her hunting partner, and her friend. We are both in the same boat and it is getting crowded for my taste.

Let me stretch my legs!

She begs but I ignore her and run down stairs I hear the chatter in the kitchen and living room. That happens when you live with your pack they are around in the most inconvenient times. Releasing a frustrating groan I tiptoe down the rest of the stairs not in the mood to make conversation with anyone at all. Everyone is too into their conversations or they might just not want to bother with an emotional alpha. My escape is easy and brisk as it appears no one notices me.

Once I step outside the crisp fresh air of the mountains hits me and it seems as I can finally breathe again. Taking a couple steps forward Andrew stops me.

Can I talk to you before you run off?

I spoke to soon. One of my powers as alpha is that I can turn off my mind link with the whole pack, everyone, except for my beta. At the moment I rather lose my mental connection with everyone.

What is it now!

Letting my annoyance with him be evident he knows that I want to be alone. I am making it clear since I tried sneaking out.

Oh, so now we can't have a normal civilized conversation? If he were in front of me right now I would tackle him.

Lord help me Andrew I will beat your ass. Even though I cannot see him I can feel the grin he must have on his face but then he throws me off when concern leaks through his voice.

Be careful out there. Keep me with you there has been trouble with rogues.

If a rogue crosses me you think you should be worried about me? I walk into the forest which is a couple yards away from the pack house.

Hmm that's true.

He leaves me be and I am alone with my wolf, time to let her stretch her legs for a little while. Undressing used to bother me when I was not the alpha, back when I was just a normal pup. Nervous that someone would see me─ I was self-conscious about my body. But once I hit my teens that changed. Nakedness is not as taboo to werewolves as it is for humans. It is a packaged deal if you want to shift people will see you naked, big deal, might as well get used to it.

Once I am far enough into the woods my wolf scratches at my core when I breathe in the pine scent and she knows we are on her turf.

Okay girl.

Taking off my clothes the cold breeze hits my skin making my body fills with goose bumps. I let my wolf surface. Shifting has become so much easier for me since I first turned when I was nine years old.

When you transform for the first time it is a milestone, something to celebrate ─ that is not what happen when I shifted. It was more of a nightmare, but instead of waking up it was my reality.

Andrew and I were playing in the front yard of the pack house where we thought we were safe. Keyword, thought! My father was inside conducting a meeting with the other Alphas when a teenage rogue sneaks past our look outs. He made his way to us eyeing us like prey. We were too entertained with our game of tag to realize what was happening.

There is a few ways to become a werewolf. One, this is the most important one, it has to be in your bloodline. You cannot turn just by being bitten! That is just a myth. I know that there is a lot of myths about that but it does not work like that. Some human must have thought of it to make her race stay away. It is passed down from generation to generation.

Two the werewolf gene does not come into play until it is invoked like the coming of age which is sixteen or when you are in danger. Not just any danger though it has to come from something supernatural. If someone points a gun at me and shoots I would not shift.

The rogue had its mind set on attacking us. When he made his move that is when my wolf burst through me. It was a scary experience one second I am running away from Andrew not wanting to get tagged and the next thing I know my body drops to the ground as I wither in pain I thought I was dying. It was indescribable pain, inside felt as if it were being twisted and ripped. My mind was the part that hurt the most, someone else coming into your head and not controlling what they say or think they are their own person. The scream of pain turns into a howl and my nail elongate into claws digging into the ground as I fight with my mind as my body convulsed and fur burst through my body. Andrew scared at the scene unfolding before him screams for my father.

The Alpha always knows when someone in his pack has turned. They have a sixth sense and they feel part of their pain. When Andrew screamed for him he ran out of the house to aide his daughter.

My werewolf self was just a red little fur ball, I was a pup. The rogue taking advantage of the distraction and went after Andrew. It shot out of the trees like a bullet running straight at him as I lay on the ground trying to make sense of what was happening. The doors to the pack house burst open the indescribable whimper that came out of my father gave me the energy to jump forward and take his attack head on. The rogue's teeth tore into the skin of my right shoulder. He held me for a few seconds but I swear those were the longest seconds of my life. He shakes me around tearing the tissue in my shoulder he then precedes to throw me to the side like an old chew toy.

My father shifted followed by his beta. My father went after him. The events after that are still a blur but Andrew has always worried about me since then. My father stayed by my side for a week helping nurse my arm back to health. I was young and scared to let my wolf help me heal so I healed so much slower.

I sigh at the memory. My father should be here as Alpha. He would not allow himself to be as weak as I am being at the moment.

The wounds are still fresh, give it some time.

To shift into my wolf is like second nature now. My wolf tries to act tougher than me but the second I am in whole wolf form she sniffs the air, searching. The breeze running though my fur as my wolf takes long strides relaxes me a tad bit, the soft ground gives me something to pound away my frustrations on, and the Alpha aurora that my wolf carries makes me feel safe.

Just like our mates our wolves fit us like a glove but much like my mate it seems like my wolf does not fit well with me. She has this natural commanding presence I, as a human, need to work on. She is meant for the Alpha status, I not so much. I have been the Alpha for three months and what an emotional three months has it been.

I wonder if he misses me. My wolf and my thoughts intertwine.

How can destiny be so cruel as to pair me with someone that would just up and walk away from his true love?

My chest heaves as my claws dig deeper into the ground and push me to run faster. I run for hours and my body does not feel it. The only source of time for me is the sun setting behind the mountains making the sky a hue of pink and orange intertwined.

I head back home. When I am close to the pack house I shift, grab my clothes, and run up the path naked. I grab ahold of the door handle and walk inside. The pack house is quiet, but it is normal for a Friday night. Since I am a young wolf it is logical that the people in my inner circle would be young. The people in the pack house are the ones we need the most in the pack such as the Alpha, beta, omega, healer, and our cook, my cook lives in a small house in the village. If they have a mate they come here. Andrew and I are the mate less ones in the pack house.

Not bothering to turn on the lights I walk through the dark house. Climbing the stairs with no trouble and making my way into my bedroom. The air is hot, someone must have turned on the heater, and I swing my window open the cold breeze makes its way through. I grab my clothing from earlier I put them on.

Climbing into my bed and pulling the covers over my cold body I lay in my bed tugging my pillow close to my chest. The silence makes my thoughts run amok, my mind painting the memories of the more enjoyable days with Marcus. If my heart was healing the pictures are like a knife reopening the wounds.

His gorgeous hazel eyes gleaming at me when he knows I could not stay mad at him, his lopsided grin, and the way he would leave my window wide open so we could cuddle at night. My heart grew heavy as the lump forms in my throat again.

I will not cry for you any more Marcus Lexington. You are the one that let me go. You gave up without a fight. After today I'm done crying for you. I will erase everything about you from my mind, heart, and soul.

It would great to say I am done with him today but the streaks of tears which run down my face would not let me.

"I'm so sorry Alpha Blake couldn't meet with you today. You know the Alpha is always busy." I am lost in my world I did not hear Andrew come in.

"Is there any way I could be squeezed in tomorrow? I want to meet your new Alpha." This voice is new I have never met him before.

Andrew clears his throat, "I can't say." There is a moment of silence.

"Your Alpha is upstairs!"

This catches my attention, how does he know?

"I can assure you that is not true," Andrew mumbles.

"Alpha Blake you either come down or I will come up. You have postponed our meeting for a couple weeks now." There is something in his voice that makes me listen to him.

My wolf growls within me, how dare this man order an Alpha? But his voice has me on my feet making my way to my door.

"I'll give you a few minutes to decide."

That stupid mutt better watch what he says we might be in the same rank but he is on our turf.

My pulse quickens as I turn the handle. "Andrew, fetch me a glass of water." Andrew's retreating footsteps makes my eyebrow shoot up. He is my beta he does not take orders from no one else except for...

I step down the steps the voices come from the living area. "Here you go Alpha Hunter," he is an Alpha. I make my way to the living area and Andrew has his back facing me but Alpha Hunter's golden eyes lock on my gray ones. "Well, hello there." He grins at me as my air escapes my lungs as if my mouth is a punctured hole in a balloon.

****

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