THE WIND BENEATH my windbreaker made the air cool despite the rising sun in front of me. This is why I often stay out late until the sun is up. That hour between is the perfect window to ride my motorcycle and just drive around the city.

I promised Rafa not to go beyond the speed limit, but I revved the bike a little faster as I zoomed through the vehicles in front. A little won't hurt.

It's been a while since I rode on a freeway or for a long period of time for that matter. But at this moment, my desire to see Gwen was greater than my need to drive around.

When I was already near the station we were supposed to meet at, I slowed down and dragged the bike towards the ramp. I immediately recognized Monty's car and parked to the nearest available spot for motorcycles.

"Speed limit?" Rafa immediately asked when he saw me.

I kicked the stand of my bike before removing my helmet. "Yeah, and this time, I'm really not lying." 

My gaze went past Rafa and landed on the girl that I was waiting to see for weeks now. She was wearing a thin white sweater over a shirt and denim shorts that made her look like she was really ready for a getaway. In addition to her outfit was a watermelon designed neck pillow that still hung from her neck. Cute.

I gave her a small smile as a way of greeting which she returned with one of her own, though her cheeks puffed a bit more at the move.

"My neck hurts." I heard Maggie complain to Rafa as they walked ahead towards the mega station where rows and rows of factory outlets and restaurants were available for us to checkout.

I was about to let the four walk first when I felt two taps on my arm. I turned to Gwen who seemed to be waiting for me.

She gave me a shy smile before she opened her tote bag and handed me a small pot of plant. "Ito na 'yong plant. I hope you like it. It's called a zz plant, it can tolerate neglect, but please take care of it still. It won't need much of your time."

I stared at the small potted plant on my palms and then back at her. Her eyes were still on me, blinking and waiting for a reaction. I knew that the ache I was feeling in my chest was a result of her presence and thoughtfulness.

It was the same feeling I had when we were together on the dancefloor, my hand holding her form. It was like a comfort that I've never felt before.

"Thank you for this. I'll make sure to take care of it. Baka hindi mo ako kausapin 'pag namatay." 

Her cheeks reddened at my comment. "Hmm. . . maybe?"

"Come on, let's eat." I chuckled.

The girls sat first in a row of chairs before we followed. I made sure to sit in front of Gwen before I placed the plant in front of us.

Rafa nudged my arm. "Why the hell do you have a plant with you?" he asked, eyeing my plant. 

I pushed his shoulder. "Piss off. Leave my plant alone."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Gwen giggled, so I turned to her and caught her bright smile. She's literally a sunshine personified.

While eating, my eyes kept unconsciously going back to her face and watching her as she took a spoonful of the garlic rice. She was really effortlessly adorable in her own way, and even without doing anything.

Her facial features were small in proportion and soft, but her eyes that crinkled at the corners were the best part.

"Sabi nila pwede silang mag-set up ng bonfire tonight, so we can relax after swimming. And then, we can try the zipline tomorrow morning." Maggie explained while she munched.

Rafa made a face. "Zipline? Talaga? Takot ka nga sa mataas na lugar. I'd believe you if you said sight seeing."

My friend made a pained sound when Maggie kicked his shin. "This time I want to try it out, Rafael. Kung ayaw mo, 'wag mo kaming idamay."

"Alright, sheesh. That freaking hurt, Mags."

Gwen raised her hand a little to get our attention. "I bought some marshmallows and melted chocolate. Pwede nating kainin mamaya sa bonfire. Though maybe we need to reheat the chocolate."

"She came prepared. Armed with chocolate and mallows." I said.

I have never been around Gwen for a long period of time. She was always just another acquaintance of mine because she's Maggie's cousin, and even though that girl hates me, she's still Rafa's "friend," so I at least had to try and be friends with her. 

I never really paid much attention to her because of that, but now, everytime she speaks, my attention is drawn to her. Sometimes to her lips too. Not that I would ever make a move until she knows who I am for real. 

When I took that note off of that board from Happy Tea, I just wanted someone to talk to who had no idea who I was and therefore no possible prejudice towards me, but I was given more than that.

She's more than that.

I used to ignore what they tagged me as—a heartbreaker. And that's not because I've been in numerous relationships, but because I've turned down more people than I can count. Some people misinterpret that as the former, and I wasn't really bothered by that, well, until recently when I felt like it was the only thing they know me as.

People have labelled me all kinds of things: heartbreaker, prodigal son, second best, and useless.

And yet, to Gwen, I'm just dphantom.

"I'm learning to bake too. Do you want to taste it?" she asked everyone on the table, and when they said yes, she pulled out a small tupperware of lava cake.

I wanted to stop the others from getting a piece, but I knew that that would give me away. But she baked it for me. Well, the Jass she knows virtually anyway. But still. It's for me.

Gwen offered the tupperware and I happily grabbed my fork to taste. My virtual persona can have his when we meet in person.

"For a first timer, this is good." I commented and then shoved the entire piece that was left so that no one could get it.

Rafa grabbed the tupperware and frowned. "Inubos mo."

I shrugged and licked my fork. "Sarap eh. Thanks, Gwen."

She nodded and kept her gaze away from me, but too late though, I already saw her blush.

After we ate, Rafa impulsively bought a new pair of kicks from the sportswear factory, and almost got an earful from Maggie for spending his money thoughtlessly. 

We headed to the parking lot after and while adjusting the strap of my helmet, I noticed that Gwen was looking at my bike, probably assessing the chances of me living if I ever got into an accident. 

Then, I had an idea.

"Feeling adventurous? Do you want to ride with me and ditch the others?" I jested and then turned my attention back to my bike.

"Can I?"

Her answer surprised the hell out of me because I was expecting that she'd turned me down. Most people did anyway. They still prefer being inside a vehicle over this.

I mounted my bike and revved the engine, then tapped the seat for Gwen to sit on. "You can sit here. There's a spare helmet inside the compartment."

She quickly grabbed the helmet and gently climbed behind me, holding onto my shoulders as she did.  Even her touch was as gentle as she speaks.

"Jass, what are you doing?" I heard Rafa calling as he stood outside of the car.

Maggie rolled down the window of the car, her expression told me that she just might strangle me. "Jastin, where are you taking my cousin?"

"I'm okay, Maggie." Gwen waved at them.

"See you at the resort. And don't worry, I'll take care of her." I said before I pulled down the shield of my helmet.

Whatever Maggie and Rafa said next was already inaudible as I sped away from the parking lot and took the nearest exit towards the freeway.

"Hold on tight," sunshine, I wanted to add, but stopped myself. "And don't fall sideways, alright?"

I felt her nodding behind me before she placed her arms around my waist. I could tell that she was being careful and hesitant, so I took the liberty to tighten her grip to secure her.

If she said anything about it, I couldn't hear it from the wind, and because my eyes were trained on the road. Precious cargo.

Gwen removed her arm a bit when I went to a steady speed. Maybe she wanted to enjoy the view of hectares of land and trees while we drove by them. I sure hope she finds it as peaceful as I do.

When we arrived an hour later, Rafa and the rest were still on the road. The resort was a small one and could probably only fit a few guests at a time. Maggie's mom knew the owner, so we were allowed to stay for the night.

I removed my helmet as Gwen undid hers, her hair a bit disheveled from wearing it for a long period of time. And I resisted the strong urge to fix it for her and maybe squish her cheeks that were red now, probably from the heat. 

She beamed at me before placing the helmet back to the compartment. "That was fun. Is that how you feel everytime? Maggie told me that you liked riding your bike."

With a small smile, I nodded. "It's part of why I don't drive a car. Tipid pa sa gas. But it's also very dangerous especially when riding at that kind of speed."

"Have you ever gotten into an accident?" she asked and then bit her lip, which directed my attention to the plump and pink lower lip.

I picked up my small duffel bag and strapped in on my back before turning my attention to her. "Minor ones, yes. I'm very careful though. If I don't die from the accident, Rafa will probably do it for me."

Gwen's laugh filled the otherwise serene part of the resort where we parked. I didn't know who to approach so we'd have to wait for Maggie and the rest to arrive. For now, I'll settle with being with Gwen without anyone interrupting us. 

"He's really protective of you, isn't he? Like Maggie with me. Mag best friends talaga sila."

I leaned on a wall to fully face her. "I don't think so." 

"Huh?"

"Rafa's in love with her." I shrugged. I know for sure that I'm right. I've known my friend long enough to tell when he likes someone.

Gwen's eyes widened and she approached my spot like we had a common secret, which I suppose we had. "I thought the same! But with my cousin, obviously. It's just a hunch but ikaw rin pala."

"Sila lang naman ang hindi nakakapansin, but I'm sure everyone already knows."

"Rafa is probably scared to admit it. I can understand."

I frowned. "Why? Do you like someone?"

Her lip protruded in a cute pout before she looked at me from under her lashes. "Maybe. Hindi ko alam. I don't even know him, so how would I know if I'm the girl in his head?"

Trust me, sunshine, you occupy my mind every hour of every day even when I didn't know who you were.

I wanted so badly to tell her, to tuck that stray hair away from her face and assure her that she has nothing to worry about. But it had to wait until she was ready. 

A loud rumbling noise followed by a door closing interrupted my thoughts, and I instantly knew the others had already arrived. 

"Jass!" I heard Rafa calling my name from afar. He was moving the cooler off of the car.

I kept my eyes on Gwen for a second longer before tearing it away to help my friends unload our things. Gwen followed me too and helped me with the grocery bags that they got the day before.

"Shit, this is heavy." I muttered when I lifted a big box full of produce.

"Ang daming dinala ni Gwen na pagkain." Liv, Maggie's sister, intervened to help us. 

"Hey! I just don't want you to be hungry so I bought a lot of snacks. Plus, we need to cook or we would have to drive and dine out. Hassle free cooking."

As soon as we placed the box on the kitchen area of one of the biggest rooms, I took off towards the beach. These days, I rarely have time to swim and surf, so this is one of things I look forward to doing here.

I unzipped my windbreaker and watched it land on the sand before I pulled up my shirt from the back and threw it away too.

"Hoy, Jastin! Hintayin mo kami." Rafa yelled from the house.

I ignored him and leaped towards the ocean. The first lick of the sea salt water on my skin made me swim faster and deeper, like I've been deprived of it. Well, I actually have been.

When I raised my head out of the water, I waved at them to come over, and thankfully, they heeded my invitation. One moment they were all dressed and the next, they were already in their swimsuits.

"Rafa, ang lamig ng tubig! Let go of me!" Maggie screamed when Rafa dragged her towards the ocean with an arm on her waist.

"Nope. Get ready for this."  He said and dropped her in the ocean like a sack of potatoes. 

We all laughed when Maggie was back on her feet after spluttering a mouthful of water and then chasing Rafa with a murderous look. 

"Akala mo, gaganti ako!"

My eyes strained to find Gwen amidst our own little crowd and found her still on the shore while drinking a can of soda. So I ran towards her and quickly grabbed her wrist that was free from holding anything.

"Wait lang, Jastin! Maggie said the water is cold!"

Too late, we were already waist deep when I let go of her wrist. She giggled and let herself submerged into the water with a smile.

"I'm sorry for your shirt." I said when she came up. Her shirt was ruined by the water, but I could clearly see that she was wearing a swimsuit under it.

"It's okay. I'm too shy to take it off anyway."

"Why?" I asked while pushing my ear for any water.

"Just because." She said stubbornly and swam away. 

A bit my lip when I saw her swimsuit underneath the shirt and turned my eyes away from her for a moment. Damn it. She really doesn't know how attractive she is to me.

Rafa, Monty and I took turns riding the jet ski that we rented for an hour while the girls swam and rode with us a few times.

When lunch came, we arranged a mini boodle fight in the small hut on the beach. Gwen was slicing the tomatoes when I offered to help her.

"Can I help? I know my way with a knife, I promise."

She looked up from the chopping board and smiled before giving me a plastic of green mangoes.

"You can prepare the mangoes. We're making a sort of salad. And also the onions. 'Wag kang umiyak, though."

I teasingly nudged her arm. "You know, I should've talked to you sooner if I knew you'd be this comfortable around me."

She hummed in response before grabbing another tomato from the bowl. "Your presence doesn't make me feel awkward."

"Speaking of awkwardness. . . About the hug last time. I'm sorry if it felt intrusive. Pinagalitan ako ni Rafa."

Gwen didn't lift her eyes for a good full minute, and I can guarantee that she's still shy about it.

"Uhm, okay lang. It was nothing."

I cleared my throat and placed the chopped mangoes on the bigger bowl that she was filling up.

"I just felt like I could fall to the ground if I didn't lean on you at that moment."

"But why did you do it? Why did you. . . hug me?"

I shrugged and took a step back. "I just felt like it."

When she didn't ask again, I took that as a sign to stop before I spill that I am the same person. I'm the same person she'd been helping and comforting. I'm the same person she was worried over.

But I'm also scared. . .  scared that when she finds out, we'll just go back to being almost strangers. 

Throughout the day, I'm troubled by that fact despite my best efforts to join them in their merriment. Gwen looked at me worriedly a few times, but I only smiled at her to tell her that I'm alright and she didn't say something wrong.

But in reality, I wanted to hug her in case it's the last time I'll ever do so.

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