A couple of months went by and it was already second term. Amani got herself a boyfriend and I've been avoiding Mason all at once and its not that he's a bad guy or anything. Its just that I become this weird person when I'm around him, that I don't recognise.

I'm short of breath a lot when he looks at me

I stutter

I lose concentration

I'm failing classes, earning me a not so good place in my dads books.

All reasons that I should stay away from him right? and I've prayed so hard these past months for me not to do anything stupid, I prayed that I'm protected from sinful thoughts that its just shaytaans way of messing with my head, throwing me off the path of righteousness.

I've convinced myself that these thoughts were ridiculous...that it was just some kind of weird phase that's going to pass in a couple of months or so...but it hasn't and I'm mad at myself for not being strong enough and so I end up crying about it some nights because firstly...these blue balls are no joke and the amount of cold showers I've taken also not another joke and secondly

Look I'm not gonna lie, I think anybody can agree with me that his adorable as fuck and when people come too close for comfort with him I get so fucking mad...and that's not right of me, I shouldn't feel like this and I damn well don't have the right to feel like this because he can be with whoever he wants, It shouldn't be like this.

Like right now, I'm sitting with my friends and there're  talking about god knows what I've lost interest in it already, but what I am interested in is Byron, a guy from my Chem class, sitting closely seated with Mason, a little too close for my taste....like move the fuck up man, a guy needs his space like  that's so gay. Gosh

" I-I'll be right back guys" I said getting up from my seat, not even waiting for their response at all before I took off. I rushed over inside to the sink and splashed my face multiple times before drying it again

" this is absurd" I told myself, gripping the sink

"Q-qiraan" came that angelic voice that I've secretly been yarning for, I hung my head low in shame....cursing myself for being so god damn horny, I dunno. I lifted my head and saw that he was leaning against the door frame through the mirror in front of me.

"what do you want" I asked looking at him through the mirror as he oh so cutely fiddled with his fingers

" I was just wandering..." He said trailing off, I through my head back in frustration, if this boy doesn't start speaking i swear I'm leaving.

But he doesn't say anything, he just keeps quiet.

I turned around and walked towards the door, ready to leave when he blocked my way

' this is not the time to be messing with me mason'

" I was just...uhrm "

" spit it out already Mason" I snapped at him and he's eyes widened, my heart immediately softened its like he's mentally pulling on a switch inside of me.

"I'm failing calculous " he finally said, looking up at me

'so am I apparently... Not like its completely your fault'

"and.." I said urging him to continue

"I was wandering if you could...if you could help me I guess" he said looking right at me with his god forsaken big blue eyes. My breath hitches when he did this, he looks so fucking adorable like this...begging me to help him.

No qiraan

Bad qiraan

I shook my head slowly, not trusting my words. I watched as he silently went beside himself

"oh yeah, right...it was stupid of me to ask anyway... Have a nice day though" he said turning around. I felt my insides turn when he gave me that look, this could potentially be the saddest I've ever seen him and the guy was always smiling and being a literal sunshine.

"wait" I said turning him around

"w-what " he said, he looked to be on the verge of tears

'please don't cry...because then you're gonna make me cry and I've been crying enough as it is.

"I change my mind... I'll help you"  I said and I swear guys I'm not making this up, his eyes sparkled.

"r-really what changed your mind " he asked

" well I.." I said looking down in his eyes when I noticed that I've been holding onto his shoulders for a long time, I moved them immediately holding my hands behind my back instead

" just be grateful that I decided to help you will you...what does my reasoning matter" he blinked his eyes at me and the built up tears that was in his eyes came spiralling down the sides of his eyes. He wiped them away immediately, suddenly hugging me close to his body. Standing on his tippy toes now, His breathed now ghosting against my neck softly. My eyes widened and then he brought his hand up, caressing my chest.

' is he..does he know what he's doing to me, h-he must know right...what the fuck is going on' i thought as my mind spined in turmoil

"Thank you..thank you so much qiraan, you're a life saver you know that" he said turning his face up to look at me

' fuck...fuck..fuck..fuck...please, for all that's good there out in the world...dear god don't let me sport a boner right now' I prayed as I looked down in his eyes, holding my breath. He let go of me seconds later

"So where am I meeting you, your place" he asked batting his eyes at me

I blushed " yeah no, that's not happening what about your place "I asked instead, running my hands over my face in hopes of getting rid of the blush.

" yeah, i guess that would work, after school at my place then" he said before turning around but I stopped him

" wait how will I know where you live, gimme your address" I said and he smirked

' did I see right' I thought narrowing my eyes at him "about that, you've got a car right" he asked and I nodded my head

" we should go together, I mean..if its okay with you...is that weird, never mind I could take the bus I'll meet you there....I live at xxxxxxxx" he said tilting his head to the side, running his hands through his curls..I licked my dry lips

" its not a problem, not at all...I'll see you after school then" I said. He hummed, nodding his head before walking off, the tips of his fingers touching my own as he walked by.

For some weird reason I felt a little giddy on the inside. I went back towards my friends after the whole ordeal.

" hey..let's go to the movies after school...its been awhile hasn't it, I heard the ring is in theatre..we have to see it" Dorian began to sprout

"I don't get it Dorian, you're scared shitless of these kind of movies...why do you do this to yourself" Lindsey said laughing at her friend

"Am not" Dorian denied

" yeah you are"  she argued

I looked over towards Mason's table and saw that jackass Byron moving closer towards masons side and as if mason could sense that me staring, he looked my way and luckily I looked away in time. When I looked again Byran had shifted away from him, I couldn't help but smile all of a sudden, my heart now much calmer.

" what's with all the smiles qiraan...anything you wanna tells us" Dorian asked, getting me out of my train of thoughts

" huh" I said looking at them

"Movies...you up for that" Lindsey asked and I shook my head

" sorry...I'm tutoring a student after school, maybe another time" I mindlessly said, playing with my food, the happiness I felt at this moment was beyond words

" well that sucks " Dorian said sadly

" yeah, too bad...cheer up buddy we'll have other times to hang out" I said to him and he nodded his head.