I am on the outskirts of the island. A sole bahay-kubo is in front of me. Its edges seem to glow and I got curious. I walk closer to it. I am hearing moans inside. I close my fist on the door lock and push it open. I enter and look around the house. It is a simple, small house. I am in the living room. A few steps to the front and I'll be in the combined kitchen and dining area. And on my left is the bedroom where the moans are coming from. I hesitate but when I hear that the sound seems restrained, I climb the four steps to the bedroom and slide the curtain that acts as the door to it.

But it is a wrong move. The scene in front of me is something that I don't want to see. I have denied it since the breakup. It is Renz, on top of Cielo—they wrapped their limbs around each other for a sense of comfort, pleasure, or whatever you'd call it. They are both breathless as they look at me who is petrified by the bedroom entrance. Their expressions tell me that I am such an interruption to their lovemaking.

My tears fall. I don't want this. I don't want to believe that my Renz has another woman in his arms. No! I sit down at the entrance and hug my knees to my chest. I wail for a minute, and when my cries die down, I can hear it again, Renz's pleasure, Cielo's moans, the sound of flesh hitting another flesh, as if it doesn't matter to them that I am in the same room. I cover both my ears and eyes. No, I won't believe what's happening. I can't!

I woke up. I wipe the tears from my eyes. It's still dark. Migo and Aian are both sound asleep in the same room. I take the blanket and wrap it around me. Then I retrieve my bakya and tiptoes outside the room.

After washing my face in the bathroom, I walk around until I am on the stone hill, the same area where I was used as bait for Aian's first challenge. The shade house is already gone. What did I expect? It was destroyed when we trapped the argentavis and the Hirayans are too busy for the impending arrival of the Mainland visitors to even bother with it.

I sigh at the fruitless walk. It is still dark but I don't want to return to sleep. The image in the dream is still far too clear that I might conjure it up again. I need something to replace it with.

Like an answer, a fire-lit appears on the curve on the inner island. Curious, I hurriedly descend the stone hill and follow the light. Only a low wall separates the middle and inner area of the island, so I cross it. No sandigs are patrolling the area in the meantime.

The fire-lit stops and I'm able to approach even closer. It's Isagani and the Rajah. They look like they are discussing and Isagani is pushing about something to the Rajah. Isagani has the same reprimanding look when he was about to approach me and the Rajah during the Feast earlier, which only means that the discussion must have been about taking a wife from the Mainland women.

I smile. That feast must have been nerve-racking for the Rajah, especially when it's the third time that Dakila will invite women into the island. I'm sure that it will only get harder to go against the marriage.

However, what is the advantage of marrying a Mainland woman, anyway? Is the Mainland more powerful than this island? Wealthier? Do the Rajah have political aspirations like that?

After five or ten minutes, Isagani leaves, and the Rajah enters the room. Once Isagani is out of sight, an absurd idea enters my mind. It's mostly to irk Isagani, but the idea itself is tempting. No, not tempting, but rather, something that I need.

Despite being aware of how ludicrous it is, I tiptoe to the front of the room. I take a deep sigh. Should I do this? If he lets me in, am I really prepared?

I hit myself. Stupid. Why am I hesitating? I need this. I need to feel that I am not pathetic, that I can move on from Renz, and with a Rajah at that. Who else can raise my pride but him? Finally decisive, I cover half my head and body with the blanket and use it as a hood, for extra precaution.

Yes, now I am ready. It doesn't matter anymore. Let Renz enjoy Cielo, I'll enjoy it with the Rajah. He desires me, right? Based on the way he looked at me during the feast for Dakila.

I knock on the door. It is soft and barely audible. I can't knock hard on it unless I want everyone's attention here. Hopefully, the Rajah is sensitive to sound.

I am about to knock again when the door opens, revealing the Rajah. He's no longer garbed except for loose shorts that looks like it is made of abaca.

"Is that comfortable for sleeping?"

The Rajah looks down and smiles knowingly. "Is sleeping really what you have in mind? Or are you just lost?"

After that, he looks along the hallway, probably looking for some sandigs patrolling the area. He seems to have spotted someone and is about to call for his attention when I panic. I push at him with both my arms, but I only manage to make him take a step back.

"Let me enter," I insist. What is the punishment for this temporary lapse of stupidity, anyway?

He bars the door to his room and then reaches for my face. He pulls back the makeshift hood from my head, revealing not only my face but down my shoulder. I shiver in the cold and realize that I am only wearing a thin layer of clothes underneath the blanket. I am about to pull the blanket back to my shoulders when he reaches for my chin and makes me look up. I wonder what he sees in them. Pain? The need to use him?

Recognition lit upon his face and now he's smiling. "You do know that you can get executed for doing this? I am certain I did not invite you here earlier at the Feast."

I furrow my brows at him, hoping that it will mask my rising fear of death. "When I whispered to you earlier, you didn't seem too disgusted of me." Am I going to be rejected? Or be killed? Which is worse anyway?

"We are in front of everyone. I must retain a form of respect," he says, but his hands slide from my chin to my cheeks.

"What kind of respect is that?" I ask, but liking the warmth in his hands as he caresses my cheeks down the side of my neck.

"The kind that my aides don't like. I'm sure you've heard about it, even as a newcomer."

I hiss at him. "Yet, you couldn't keep your hands to yourself."

His smile grows wider. "It wouldn't hurt to touch a woman while she's waiting for the sandigs to take her."

"Assh*le," I curse.

Why did I even think of this? Even if he's a womanizer, there should be a standard to the woman he takes to his bed, right? I am about to turn from him when I remember what Laya said earlier. What was it again? That the Rajah won't take anyone because Bagwis is limiting him? Bagwis ain't here, right? And he hasn't touched a woman since when? I smile. I can do this then. As long as the woman is not ugly, he'd take her, right? And I am sure I am not ugly.