TW: dissociation, mention of hallucinations, and SH

Percy knew Apollo was walking on eggshells around Zeus, but he didn't know how to help without making things worse. Should he confront Zeus himself? Should he ask Apollo what he should do? Percy had an idea, but he didn't know if it was wise one. 

As he left his room, he went over his plan again. Get off of Olympus without anyone noticing. Then get Artemis away from her hunters to be able to talk privately. Ask her what he should do, and then do it. Percy knew the hardest part is going to be sneaking away, but if he was going to help he needed to.

As he got closer to a place he could sneak off from, just the person he didn't want to show up did. Percy hid behind a couple trees as Apollo entered the garden. "Perce, I know your here. I don't know why your trying to sneak off, but just so you know Artemis won't help you." 

And just as those words said, all of Percy's fear were confirmed. "She won't help because I told her not to." 

Percy felt himself hyperventilating before he registered anything else. 'Was this it, was he finally leaving me? Has he finally realized I'm too broken to fix?' Tears started falling quicker then Percy could stop them. 

"Percy? Percy? Are you here?" He heard Apollo yell out, but that's impossible he was just here.

"Perce, you need to calm down!" He heard another voice, but couldn't place it.

"Your not helping Hermes!" 

'Oh, that's who it was.' Percy felt himself floating away from his own body, no longer recognizing voices or where he was. Everything was becoming more foggy and he felt so undetached from everything. Before he could register anything else he felt a weight surround him, grounding him to the place he sat. 

"Breath with me, please?" He heard a voice say as he felt a chest move up and down.

He tried to follow the breath pattern but his mind was so far away, was that the sea, he could hear seagulls.

"Percy come back here." The same voice spoke again.

He saw a cabin that had lights on, was this Monatauk? Why was it so stormy? Before he could investigate he felt himself being pulled back to his body. He could hear Dionysus speaking, Apollo crying. And was that Hermes? 

"You back with us?" Dionysus asked. Percy looked back up making eye contact with him. "There we go. Where did you go?" 

"Monatauk, it was so stormy, but there was a seagull there and my mom's cabin light was on." Percy described, he wished he was back there. As he thought this, he felt his mind lifting away from him again.

"Hey no, come back." Apollo spoke. Percy could see the tear tracks as he looked up at him. Percy tried to reach up and touch him, but he still couldn't feel his body.

"Apollo?" Percy asked, his voice small and cracking from lack of breath.

"I'm right here. I am not going anywhere." Percy felt himself cry out at those words.

"Do you remember what happened? Why you panicked like you did?"

Percy thought back to Apollo's words and froze, "You...you said you told Artemis not to help me." 

Apollo looked confused and hurt, "I never..."

"You didn't, his mind did. Even if he is not mortal anymore, the trauma that the pit caused is still there. If not worse." Dionysus explained.

"So that was all in my head?"

"Yes and no, your mind thought up a situation in where you would be safe, but also mixed with a situation that you never wanted to happen. So one where Apollo came to you but where he had cruel intentions."

"How do I stop these hallucinations from happening again?" Percy asked.

"Grounding techniques, like breathing exercises, skin to skin contact, play a memory game, or weight from a hug or an object." 

Percy didn't want to have to do it, to have to come with terms that he truly was broken. But one look at Apollos sadden guilt filled face told him to try. "Okay, how do I do half of those?"

"Well the breathing technique is helpful if your mid hallucination or dissociating, skin to skin helps you ground yourself by knowing what's real and what's not, same with the weight. With memory games it makes you focus on something else and takes your full attention." 

"Okay." Percy got up and walked away. He didn't want to spend the rest of the day cooped up in a garden crying. As he walked through Olympus he noticed things were a mess, multiple tents from local businesses were strawn around the road. He was scared to ask what happened, when multiple townspeople looked at him warily. 

As he saw his father come up to him he could only say one thing, "Did I do this?"

He didn't need a vocal answer when Poseidon refused to make eye contact. "So I did do this." Percy sighed and walked further away from town. The closer he got to Apollo's temple to more he felt his mind racing. He panicked as he thought through the exercises Dionysus told him about before he realized he never told him how to do a breathing one. As he neared the temple he realized one thing would work. One thing he hasn't done in a while. 

Percy looked around, he couldn't use his sword as he didn't want to put more of a dark history onto it. Instead he looked around the ground as he walked for a sharp enough rock. When he found he steered away from the temple and went to a garden. He needed his mind to calm down, he needed it all to go away. As he got into the garden he knew no one would be able to stop him. Not even Apollo or his father.

He took the rock and looked down at his wrist. One gold line, he could breathe again. Another gold line, his head was no longer noisy. Another one and his tears went away. Last gold line and his heart quit racing. 

Now all he felt was guilt. He promised he would never do this again. His mom, Annabeth, Grover, Nico, he promised so many people. But...he broke it, he did it again. He heard rushed footsteps throwing him out of his thoughts. He rushed to cover his arm, but didn't do so in time as he looked up and saw Apollo' horrified face. 

A/N: If you ever feel this way please DM me, or someone your close to, or a hotline.