It was the pain that made her move. One moment, she was staring in horror at Peter, and the next she was brought back to the warm flat she had shared with Sirius.

Sirius Black was the most handsome man Lana'd ever seen in her life. If anyone had asked her when she was alive five hours ago, how well she knew him, she'd have told them that she knew everything there was to know about Sirius Black. She knew him happy and mischievous. She knew him brooding and sullen. She knew him tired and anxious. However, she'd never seen him like this, broken beyond repair.

People who believed him a traitor would say that the Blacks' abuse had broken Sirius. Order Members, who had merely heard stories of him, would say that it was the death of James Potter that broke him. Everyone would agree that Azkaban had taken it's toll. But those who truly knew Sirius Black understood the truth. The day that Lana Bowers was kidnapped from their home, from their bed, after he left for the market to meet up with Peter, was the end of him.

She saw him there, staring down at the kitchen table, His hands were tangled in his long, silky dark hair, clutching desperately at his head as if staving off one of his migraines. His body was all tension instead of that lithe, smooth quality that was inherently Sirius and no one else. But his ease of manner was gone. She couldn't see his face but she knew that the smile she'd kissed on his face less than twelve hours ago was gone.

If she were alive, Lana would have come up behind him and begin to rub his shoulders. She would have leaned down and pressed light kisses to his head. She would have whispered soothing nothings into his ears as she held him to her firmly. Together they would have fought off, not for the first time, the residual trauma of abuse. He had headaches and freezes. She had nightmares. They were messy, but they were solid. They had each other to keep them steady. But...that was all over now, wasn't it.

Lana went to touch his shoulder. She wanted to tell him what had happened. She wanted to tell him about Peter. She needed to tell him everything.

"SIRIUS!" She'd cried out. Her voice laden with affection and relief. Seeing him, she'd completely forgotten the green lights and the sight of her body on the floor.

Then she reached out to him.

Her hands desperately reached out to the familiar, the safe, the love, the person they'd held on many times. The person they'd touched just that morning. But, this time, those hands were empty.

She watched her hand go right through his shoulder. Sirius didn't even look up.

"Sirius!" She screamed again, this time in panic and denial. It was finally hitting her. Yes, she'd seen her body. Yes, she knew she was dead, but this was too much.

This was Sirius.

"Sirius!" She screamed so loud that her throat would have been raw...if she'd been alive. "Sirius! I'm right here! I'm here!" She reached out and watched in heightening horror as her hand never touched him. It went right through him.

"Please look at me! My Star look at me!!!"

He continued to stare into space.

That was when a silvery, glowing Phoenix flew into the room and landed in front of him. Only then did he look up and she saw his face.

He had shadows under his eyes, eyes which were red rimmed and had an uncharacteristic edge to them. His eyes...they looked manic and so familiar she had to take a step back in shock. They looked just like the eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange, his cousin who had taken great pleasure in torturing her and who was severely upset that she didn't scream.

Sirius had that look in his eyes. He looked, in that very moment, as if he could watch the entire world burn and laugh as he listened to their screams.

"I'm not going to leave her. She's alive and no matter what he says, I'm not staying still another second." His voice was hoarse and raw, tinged with desperation and yearning heartache.

The Phoenix landed lightly in front of him on the table and its mouth opened wide.

"Sirius. Things have happened. Come to Headquarters now."

"They found her," he murmured. "That's it. They found her and she was hurt." He apparated away without pause.

Without even a blink this time, Lana went with him.

She was as unprepared for his reaction.

Sirius stormed through the house that served as the Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, and looked around anxiously for golden brown hair and steady eyes. But instead, he ended up in the dining room where his life ended.

He took one look at James, Lily, and Harry, sitting at the table across from Dumbledore, and he started screaming. The Potters had cried the second they felt the Fidelius Charm shift back to them, the only ones besides Lana who knew their location. They knew that she was dead. They knew that they would need to move again for Harry, and they'd sent word to Dumbledore.

Her loss had hit the Potters hard. James was desolate. Lily had been inconsolable up until Sirius arrived. Harry, seeing the pain around him had cried, confused and scared. However, not one of their reactions prepared anyone for Sirius Black losing the love of his life.

No words had to be exchanged. No explanations had to be given. James was not hidden. Lily was not hidden. Harry was not hidden. Their location was no longer a Secret. The only way that would have happened would be if Lana were dead. She'd said that she would give her life to keep them safe, and in the end... she had.

This flow of logic entered his brain and it knocked him down to his knees. The sudden movement caused James to rush to his feet, wishing to support his brother. However, before he could even take a step, Sirius Black started to scream.

The screams of Azkaban are notorious. They are screams of complete terror. They are screams of pain. They are screams of emptiness. In years to come, Sirius Black would have those screams, but none of them matched the devastation he felt that moment. His heart had been ripped from his chest, his steadying force had been removed from right under his very feet. He screamed loud and long while Lily and Harry cried from the table. He screamed while Dumbledore wiped at his own eyes. Sirius Black screamed while James Potter came up on his left and held him as he broke down. He screamed while on his right, Lana screamed and cried with him, desperate to comfort him, but unable to touch him. Sirius Black screamed, and for the second time, Lana's heart was broken in death.

It took hours to calm him down, and the only reason he calmed down was because of Harry.

The last time that Sirius and Lana had properly visited the Potters had been on Harry's first Birthday. It was right before Voldemort learned about the Prophacy and they were forced into hiding. Before Lana was given a Secret to hide in her soul. Before she died for that secret.

On Harry's Birthday, all the Mauraders converged into one tiny cottage in Godric's Hallow to celebrate. Sirius had insisted over the protests of Lana, on getting Harry his first toy broom. Lana and Lily worried and then laughed as Sirius and James supported the tiny boy as he flew about the room.

Once they'd been scolded for breaking a prized vase, Harry had been taken off of his broom and he ran straight to Lana. His favorite person.

Lana had been a midwife. Before she died, she'd delivered hundreds of babies, one of them being Harry. From his first moments, he'd bonded with her. She was one of the people he looked to for comfort and snuggles. Everytime Sirius looked at them together, he was struck with the reminder of how lucky he was to have her in his life. He'd see the kid and be reminded of how thankful he was to James and the Potters for how his life turned out. The domestic picture offered him hope for a better future.

When they'd left Harry's first Birthday, walked out the door and into the cool night air, Lana had been in one of her romantic moods.

"You, Sirius Black, would make a great father."

Sirius, thinking about how happy his best friend was with a wife and child, smiled softly down at her. "Not nearly as good of a father as you would be as a mother."

"After we get married," she said, "after the wedding, after the war, I think we should have a baby."

Sirius had nuzzled her neck. "And in the meantime we can practice."

It really only made sense that Harry would calm him down. The toddler waddled over to him and grabbed his hand.

"Padfoo!" He shouted, as he still struggled with pronouncing his ts.
Sirius struggled to look up at him, so consumed with his own thoughts but before he knew it, Harry had reached his chubby arms around Sirius's neck and nuzzled into him. It was the perfect baby hug of pure comfort and it almost made him smile.

Lana felt tears pool in her eyes as she watched them.

"Oh My Star and My Little Dreamer," she croaked out into the world, unheard. "I'd give anything for you to see me. I'd give anything for you to be able to hear me. I love you all so much."

"I'm so sorry Sirius," James whispered into the quiet. "I'm so sorry."

"She knew this might happen. She knew and she'd have done it even if she knew this was the end. I...I can't say I'd make a choice different than hers."

"We were going to make it you," James said lowly. "Our first thought was to make you the Secret Keeper, but Lana has always been the secret keeper between us. She was the most stubborn person to ever live and there was no way anyone would get her to talk."

"But it's my fault," Lily said desperately. "I mentioned it to Lana and she insisted it should be her. She said that she wanted to keep her family safe and this was what she needed to do. It's my fault Sirius and I'll never forgive myself for this."

"It's not your fault, Lily! It's not! I'd have done it the second I realized it was necessary. I love you and Harry and James. I'd have done it no matter what." She wiped at her eyes, clearing her vision of tears. She'd thought that in death, she'd be more remote. However, all she'd felt was pain for her loved ones that she'd left behind. 

Her words made Sirius turn to her and give her a reassuring head shake over Harry's messy locks. The boy had fallen asleep in his arms.

"No," his voice was gruff. "It wasn't your fault. She loved you all and would have done anything for you. She'd have done anything for us. What you asked...she knew what could happen. Besides...I left her alone in our bed this morning. I went to the market. I promised to make her favorite Pancakes since I'd had Order Business on our anniversary. If I hadn't left..."

Sirius Black didn't mention meeting Peter Pettigrew at the market. He didn't mention that Peter had set up the meeting because he'd found some information. He didn't mention that he and Peter suspected that the mole in the Order was Remus who had been so beaten down by wizards that he'd joined the werewolves working for Voldemort. He knew that accusing their friend in front of James would only cause strife. He hadn't even mentioned anything to Lana, because every time he brought up the traitor in the Order, she snapped that it couldn't be one of them. 

"It's not one of our Brothers Sirius," she looked him in the eyes, steady and true as she always was. "It isn't, but we'll find the traitor to protect James, Lily, and Harry. We will." 

The memory hurt, as all memories hurt in that moment. His wound was fresh and gaping and Sirius felt as if he was bleeding out on the floor.

"Oh Sirius," tears came to Lily's eyes again. "Your anniversary."

"Six Years," he said in a barren voice. He could practically hear her response, but he didn't. Instead he automatically said his part of the silly chant she'd made up for them when she'd been complaining about how unromantic they were.

Before this, the chant had gotten mixed reactions from their friends. Lily always cooed at how precious she thought they were. James, Remus, and Peter would laughingly jeer and make dog noises. (A reference as to how Lana had him trained.)

Sirius started the mantra but he didn't hear her finishing it from behind him.

"Ten years of laughter," she'd always begin. She'd start the years from the day they'd first met.

"Ten years of friendship," he'd respond. "Nine years of pranks."

"Nine years of detentions," she'd always laughed at that part, now she whispered it in death as she yearned more than anything to tough him. "Seven years of yearning."

"Seven years of kissing," he would pull her in and bring her in for a kiss that always made him feel like he'd come home. Now, he said the words to himself as a reminder that unlike last year, the numbers wouldn't change. They wouldn't have another Anniversary in this life.

"Six years of devotion." They always said together.

"Six years of devotion." But this time his words were singular and bereft.

Sirius didn't finish the last line though. It seemed like a cruel joke now. It was something said in a state of innocence that no longer existed.

But Lana did say the last line to herself, knowing now how truly incorrect it was, but not for the reason Sirius believed.

"A lifetime of love," Lana finished. She wasn't looking at the desolate expressions on James and Lily. She was staring into Sirius's gray eyes, willing him to see or hear her. "We were wrong Sirius. Our love lasts longer than a lifetime. My love for you, My Star, will last into eternity."

"Sirius," James began, for once in his life struggling to find something to say. Lana looked upon him in shock. James Potter was never speechless, but he appeared to have no idea what he could say to help his friend. To help his brother.

"It is so hard to see, Prongs. Its so hard to see my future without My Sun in it."

His Sun. Her Star. Sirius and Lana. They'd been together since they were fifteen, a year after their first kiss in a muggle game called Spin the Bottle. When you didn't see Sirius Black with James Potter, you saw him with Lana Bowers. They were so attached that even knowing the truth, James half expected to see Lana pop into the room at any moment with a calming smile and to see Sirius pull her in for a sweeping kiss that James would rib him for later.

But those days were gone.

Lana was dead.

But Sirius was still there and his next words nearly drove James off the wall. The words, Lana thought, would have killed her if she weren't already dead.

"I'll be the next Secret Keeper," Sirius announced to the room. "I'll do it. For Lana, I'll do it."

"Given the circumstances Mr. Black," Dumbledore began, "perhaps you should all reconsider. I once again insist that I become the Secret Keeper. Voldemort will not easily capture me and I assure you all, I'll remain as steady as Miss Bowers proved to be."

"Perhaps that is best Padfoot," James told his best friend. "Dumbledore will keep us safe. We'll be alright. In fact, you should come into hiding with us. It'll be good for you to have family around. Harry would be glad to see you every day."

The mention of his Godson, their Godson, nearly bucked his resolve, and caused him to pull the tot farther into his embrace, but then he blinked and, behind his eyes, he pictured Lana screaming.

"No. I should do it," he said looking James straight in the eyes. "I should do this for her."

"I thank you Professor, once again for the offer, but if Sirius is so adamant...we will trust him with our lives. Sirius Black is our new Secret Keeper."

"Very well."

"Dumbledore," Sirius began. "I need....we need to find her body. She deserves to be buried. She...I can't let them have her. Promise me they won't have her."

Albus nodded, "We've already got Alastor on it. He'll bring her back."

"Where are the others? Where are Remus and Peter?" James asked Dumbledore. "They should be here. We need to be together. The five of us are..." he choked on the words. The Mauraders were no longer five. They were four.

"Remus is still out on a mission to recruit wolves to our side," Dumbledore said softly. "He'll be informed when we are able to tell him without risking his life." 

Lana wanted more than anything to be able to speak to them. She wanted to tell them where she was. She wanted to tell them that they should stop crying because she was with them! But then there was a pop and the traitor walked into the room.

Lana wondered how she could have been so oblivious. How hadn't she noticed the change in the man before her? Peter was no longer the quiet goofball of the group. He wasn't comforting and lovable.

Peter was now a man who didn't seem to have any of that boy left. His silence wasn't out of nerves. His silence was to keep his traitorous secrets. He didn't look at them with love, but as pawns. Peter Pettigrew was the worst kind of evil. He didn't betray his friends based on convictions. He betrayed them for power and a warped sense of survival.

"I came as soon as I could get away from mother," he stuttered, looking in false concern at those he had called friends. "What happened? Where's Lana?"

The audacity of this man to pretend that he had no idea what was going on when he had watched her be murdered infuriated her beyond belief. She wished she had her wand in death. She'd have picked it up and lit him on fire.

"Ah. Mr. Pettigrew," Dumbledore said softly. "You should speak to your friends. I believe I'll be going. I will be sure to have Alastor contact you when..." he trailed off and just like that, he left.

Lana desperately wanted to call him back. She didn't want those she loved to be left with this pathetic excuse of a wizard. Hours ago she loved him, and now she would do anything to ensure his death before those she loved were harmed. She wanted to destroy him.

"She-" Lily started, crying again. "She's gone Peter. Lana's gone."

That rat cried. He had watched her be tortured with a blank face. He'd watch her be murdered without a word, but now he cried crocodile tears to put on the show of a lifetime. How could she not have seen it before now? Peter Pettigrew was evil. 

"You lying rat," she stared at him with a face marked with pain and disgust. "You lying rat. How could I have been so wrong? How...how could I have loved you Peter? You were my family. How could I have loved you?" 

"I can't believe she's gone," he sniffled. "My poor Mum is going to be devastated." 

"Oh Peter," Lily walked over and hugged him. "How is your Mum? Is she alright?" 

"She's not doing well. It'll be any day now. Why, this news could send her over the edge." Lana looked at face and noticed that while his expression was that of someone in pain, but his eyes had that blank expression. 

"I'm so sorry Peter," Lily sniffled. "This is just so hard. Lana! Why Lana? She was the best of us." 

"No Lily," Lana looked at her friend, "You are better. You are the best of us." 

"What's going to happen now?" Peter sniffled. "Now that Lana is no longer the Secret Keeper?" 

"DON'T TELL HIM!" Lana screamed at Lily and James, suddenly frantic as she looked between them and Sirius, who was still cuddling baby Harry. "Don't tell him anything! Please!" 

She looked to the sky frantically. "PLEASE. Let me save him! Save him! Don't let him do this! I have to stop him from doing this!" 

"Sirius," Lana watched in horror as James looked over at Peter with a grim smile. "Sirius is going to be our new Secret Keeper." 

At that, Peter looked genuinely troubled and Lana hoped that something remained of the kind thirteen year old boy who had taken her into his home. She hoped that something was there that would keep him from killing Her Star. Something had to protect Sirius, James, Lily, and Harry when she wasn't there to do it. 

"Well," Peter began, "it would be sort of obvious wouldn't it? Now that Lana is gone, the next person they would think to be a Secret Keeper would be Sirius." 

"What are you doing?" Lana got right in front of his face, trying to see his angle. "What are you doing rat?" 

"He has a point, James," Lily said softly. "They'd look for Sirius next." 

"I'd not say a word," Sirius looked up from the boy then, his face resolute in his devotion to them written on his face. "I'd protect you three with my last breath." 

"Of course you would, Pads," James agreed. "Of course you would." 

"No doubt," Peter nodded. "I was just thinking out loud. I mean, its dangerous isn't it. You three being out here without protection. I'd hate for something like this to happen again and them catching you when you move safe houses."

"Are they on their way now? Did you lead them here, Peter?" Lana looked around frantically and desperately looking for her wand. 

"You might have a point," Sirius looked at Peter thoughtfully. "They would go straight to me Prongs as your best friend." 

"Then we should call Dumbledore back then," Lily said. "Take him up on his offer of protection." 

"NO!" Peter disagreed vehemently. When they all sent him strange looks he hastily covered his tracks. "I mean, think about it. Dumbledore is needed elsewhere for the war effort." 

"Peter!" Sirius yelled. "It should be you, Peter. They'll be less likely to think its you. They'll come for me first and when they do we'll have time to hide you. It's brilliant really." 

"Oh," Peter pretended to look startled. "Me?" 

"Yes!" James exclaimed. "You Wormtail! There is no one else I'd trust more than my friends to protect my family." 

"No," Lana nearly collapsed in horror. "No. No. No. I can't watch this. I can't." 

But it was done. The Potters made Peter Pettigrew their Secret Keeper, and Lana couldn't stop it. Once that was decided, Peter made his excuses to leave. Lana was torn. The idea of leaving Her Star when he was grieving tore her insides, but she needed to follow Peter. She needed to find a way to stop him, if she could.

It was only when he got home and crawled into bed that she finally exploded. He seemed to find sleep too easily for a traitor. 

"How dare you?!" she screamed at him. "How dare you sleep as you are plotting their deaths!?" 

She wasn't sure how it happened, but something inside her seemed to break into pieces. 

"PETER!" Lana bellowed his name expecting it to be like every other thing she tried. However, this time, something happened. She yelled and the world around her tinted in blue light and she saw his eyes pop open and stare up at her in horror. Peter had turned white in fear. He'd seen her. He'd heard her. He was afraid. But before she could do anything else, the light was gone and he looked around frantically.

"Lana?" he whispered softly into the night. His voice, it was the voice of that scared little boy she used to know. "You don't understand Lana. They were going to kill me if I didn't tell them." 

"I understand Peter," she responded. "They did kill me, but you watched. You might have been scared at one time Peter, but now...now you are just gone."