"Alright, people!" Ken Davidson stepped out of his office, his words projected for all to hear. A majority of his employees turned their heads. "This is...the documentary people."

He gestured to two random men with a camera and clipboard, otherwise known as James and Alex. They awkwardly waved at the disappointment of a crowd.

"The only reason I signed up for this dumbass documentary thing was that Mr. Davidson said he'd give me a raise. So, why the fuck not, right?" Ted rolled his eyes. He clearly didn't want to be there.

"I thought it would be fun!" Bill beamed, a smile on his face. "Think of what Alice will say when she sees me on the big screen!"

A series of mumbled words was heard from behind the camera. As they continued, Bill's face slowly fell. "Wha- you mean this isn't going in the movie theatres?"

"Let's treat them nicely, yeah?" Ken raised his coffee mug in the air before shuffling back into his private office.

Ken raised his donut in the air, enjoying a cup of coffee on the side. "I like my donuts like I like my workers: cold and plain."

Setting the baked good down, he looked the camera right in the eye. "Either one or both, normally. You see that Paul guy? He's kinda just plain. Ted's a good mix of the two. Steve is the prime example of cold though. That gets confusing since he looks so much like Paul though..."

"Hey, Paul." Ted threw a pencil at the guy's desk. "Paul. Hey, Paul. Pail. Paulette. Pauline. Paula. Pablo. Pausha. Hey, Pau-"

"What do you want, Ted?" Paul finally gave in, holding a hand to his forehead. He had put up with Ted's antics for this long. What was one more day?

"Can I use your stapler?"

Paul scanned his desktop for the stapler. It was completely missing. He gave a distressed sigh. "What did you do to my stapler...?"

Ted didn't answer with words, but rather looked right in the direction of Paul's drawer. So naturally, Paul slowly went to open it. What was inside made him jump to his feet.

"Mr. Davidson! Ted put my stapler in jello again!"

From nearby, Charlotte gaped. She lightly swatted the criminal's arm. "Ted! Why would you do that?"

He was about to respond when Melissa began to walk towards Paul, eyes trained on the jello prank. "Dibs on the jello once you get the stapler out!"

"What?" At that point, Paul was just confused. That wasn't unusual though.

Bill pushed himself over on his rolling chair, a phone cable forcing him to keep some distance. "Can you guys quiet down? I'm on the phone wi- Ted! Again?"

"Yes, again!" Ted angrily cried. "What else do you want me to do? Paul here keeps putting a pencil wall between our desks!"

That was true. There were even the remains of broken pencils between the cracks to prove it. Nevertheless, Paul rolled his eyes.

"Don't put your stuff on my desk then!"

Melissa huffed. "Ted, you're just jealous!"

"What the fuck is there to be jealous of? This is Paul we're talking about, Melissa." Ted pointed at the man for added effect. The only reaction he got from the girl was a glare. "Point proven."

"Ok, so maybe I have a...a little thing for Paul," Melissa confessed right before checking to make sure the door was shut. "It's not like it'll go anywhere though! Yeah, it's just a little thing...it hasn't been going on for a couple of years, no, not at all."

"Can't you two just calm down?" Charlotte spoke up timidly.

Ted sighed, giving Paul hawk eyes as he slowly took his seat again. With that, the office fell back into calm.

And then the phone rang.

"Hello. CCR Paper, this is Charlotte speaking...oh? You're going to want to speak with a salesman for that...Yes, I can do that. What did you say your name was...?" She pulled out a pen and a sticky note. "Nora, yes?"

Paul recognized that name. He sent a perplexed glance Melissa's way. "Isn't Nora the girl...from Beanies?"

"Oh, and how would you know, Paul?" Ted joined the conversation, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, uh, I don't know...I go there sometimes."

Paul looked at the camera awkwardly. "You want my reasons for going to Beanies? They just have good coffee! And, you know...Some things are worth it."

"Right, right...for the latte hotte, yeah?" Ted smirked. He could always tell when Paul was lying. That's what made these conversations so amusing. Well, for him at least.

Paul blinked. "What? No, no, they just have good coffee!"

"Yeah, sure, Paula Anne."

"Ok fine, so maaaybe there's another reason."

Bill sat at his desk, clicking the refresh button on his web browser over and over again. The screen showed a listing for Mamma Mia! tickets. His face, however, showed nothing but anxiety.

"I'm trying to get my daughter, Alice, tickets to Mamma Mia! tonight," he explained with pure excitement. "I only need 2 tickets. Fingers crossed!"

Charlotte leaned over to see what all the computer clicking was about. She frowned at the sight. He was on the expensive ticket website. That was no way to get tickets. "You're still trying to get them for her?"

"Lottie, my life depends on this! If I can't get Alice these tickets, what kind of a father am I?" Bill spoke with impatience, eyes glued to the screen. Almost as if he were brainwashed.

She shook her head. "Stop worrying, alright? I'll...I have your back." She offered him one final smile and then returned to her usual place. Those Mamma Mia! tickets weren't going to be bought by themselves, and she knew Bill wouldn't be able to get them on time on that site.

"What do you mean by downsizing exactly?" Ken held the phone to his ear with a shoulder. His hands were occupied with an unsolved Rubix cube.

With his focus being set on two things at once, he easily missed Ted standing in the doorway, listening to every word.

"Downsizing? I can't-" the line closed. "I guess I can, yeah, ok."

Ted shut the office door and turned to his fellow coworkers. They'd all been watching and listening intently after Melissa used the receptionist phone to figure out who the call was with. "He said something about downsizing."

A variety of gasps filled the room. Downsizing? No way.

"As information gatherer," Ted spoke up amongst the whispers, "I call dibs on not being fired."

"I don't think you can do that, Ted," Paul tried to reason. It didn't work.

"Oh yeah? Bill called dibs on winning a week ago and no one said anything!" Ted threw his hands in the air out of anger. His words prompted Bill to stand up from his desk in the back.

"You can call dibs on winning!"

"That was for a coffee maker! This is for our jobs!" Melissa tried to argue, on Paul's side of course.

Paul nodded. "Yeah, uh, what she said."

"Oh my God. We're filming in an office building full of 5-year-olds," Alex, from behind the camera, mumbled.

Ken ran his finger down the list of workers. There were only five of them he realized. "What- since when did we only have five employees? Is this some joke? It's like the author in the sky was too lazy to write more people in or something. I'm going insane, I swear."

He shook his head. "I just have to pick one of them. Alright. I can do that."

There was a knock on the door. "Come in?"

In stepped Paul. He blindly reached out and closed the door behind him. "Heyyyy, Mr. Davidson."

Ken didn't know it, but he was about to be the center of a game called "Who Can Suck Up to Mr. Davidson Enough to Not Be Fired?". Let the games begin.

"I, uh, just wanted to let you know that I have a wife." Was that too strong? Was it strong enough?

"You're married? Since when?" Ken's eyebrows furrowed.

"Uh- oh, I'm getting there-"

"You're engaged?"

"I'm getting there!"

"You're dating someone?"

"...I'm getting there."

Ken took a deep breath. God, this guy could be a pain. "Is that all you wanted to say, Pail?"

Paul fiddled with his thumbs. After a long period of silence, he nodded.

"Right. Thanks, Plaul."

"That...could've gone a lot better." Paul sunk into his chair. He might've been awkward as hell but at least he was aware of it most times.

For the rest of the day, it was attempt after attempt at convincing Ken not to let them go. The worst part? Ken didn't even know they knew. So as all of this was going on, Ken was in his office trying to figure out who to kick, not taking any of the encounters into account. Not because he didn't care. Just because he was too distracted to actually listen to the idiots.

"Ok, I know what I need to do." Ken set a file on the desk. That was it.

"Ok, everyone!" Ken stepped out of his office. "I've been keeping it a secret all day but...Corporate suggested we do downsizing. So I'm here to tell you that I will be firing..."

Midsentence, he took a look at everyone's faces. They all appeared to be either desperate or scared. It made him feel like shit now that he'd gotten this far. Shit.

"None of you! Thank you for your time." He rushed back into his room, leaving the group to exchange glances.

Ted sauntered over to Paul's desk, where he was packing up his briefcase. "Hey, we're all going out for coffee to celebrate the downsizing news. You in?"

"Coffee...? At five pm?" Paul locked the case with a click. Seconds later, he was elbowed lightly in the arm.

"Hey, hey. I'll, ya know...I'll talk to that cute little barista for you. Put a good word in." Ted winked.

Confused, Paul nodded. Ted's kindness was questionable, and he wasn't even sure how the guy knew about the Beanies barista, but despite all this, he couldn't really say no.

The camera zoomed in and out of focus until it landed on a barista, appearing to be in her early 30's and tired as ever. "Uh, yeah, why the fuck am I here?"