Wednesday, May 19th 2010

Kangaroo Point, Brisbane

5:56 PM

As she slipped out of the kitchen and onto the patio in the back garden, Junie Bennett noted the chill in the afternoon. The sky had been coated with thick clouds that refused to let the sun through and cast a shade of dull grey on the city.

A gust of air rushed past her, causing her fiery hair to lift and dance in the frosty wind. She placed a cigarette between her rosy lips and digging a hand into in her inner jacket pocket, she pulled out the small lighter. She pursed her lips as she rolled the wheel of the lighter down with her thumb, a click sounded and an orange flame came to life. Covering her hand over the flame and protecting it from the blowing wind, Junie placed the tip of the cigarette into the fire and watched as it burnt.

After a few seconds, she let the flame die and stuffed the lighter back in her pocket. She held onto the cigarette with two fingers and sucked in the smoke, drawing it into her lungs and the intoxicating warmth coursed through her. She could feel the nervousness and stress that had plagued her all day, melt and dissipate as the smoke swirled in her lungs.

She pulled the cigarette from her mouth and slowly blew, watching as a cloud of smoke escaped from her lips. There was nothing like a cigarette to calm her after a stressful day. Junie sighed in relief. She brought the cigarette back to her lips and sucked in the smoke, she leaned back against the wall. She lazily took drags of her cigarette as she looked up at the sky, thoughts and concerns drifting through her mind.

At sixteen – well, seventeen today – Junie knew she should not be smoking. She knew all the hazards, she had seen all the posters and understood the consequences but she didn't care. Lately, Junie had been finding it hard to care about anything.

She had only been smoking for a little over six months now. Junie Bennett would say she had all the reasons in the world to smoke.

What, with her best and only friend – who she may or may not have been in love with – dating the school's It Girl. With her mother rarely home and always out to God knows where. With her little brother making a full recovery from a case of meningitis that had scared her to death. And with two jobs and having to balance schoolwork she was already behind on, Junie Bennett would say she had every damn right under the sun to smoke as much as she pleased.

Behind her she heard the door open and footsteps approaching before she saw her aunt come to stand beside her.

Fiona Bennett shook her head, frowning in disapproval at the sight of her niece smoking. "That's really bad for you."

Junie sucked in the smoke, inhaling deeply and exhaled, "I know."

"Zee looks better," she said, "Thank God the meningitis has finally cleared up."

Junie simply nodded, choosing not to think about how ill her little brother had been in the past few weeks. As always, Dylan been there to support her, hold her and keep her from crumbling down. Dylan. She sucked on the cigarette. 

She didn't how she would have coped or what would have happened if he hadn't been there. After Isaiah had been discharged from the hospital Junie had decided the best place for him to be for a while would be at their aunts. Fiona would take care of him when she was at school or work. 

"Your friend called," Fiona told her, "Dylan, he wants to see you."

"Thanks."

Later, after she had finished her cigarette and ate the lemon meringue her aunt had made, Junie rushed up to the bathroom. Dylan thought she had quit smoking a month ago and not wanting him to think otherwise, she brushed her teeth and sprayed away the smell of smoke with some of Fiona's flowery scented fragrances. Before she left, Junie crept into her aunt's bedroom where Isaiah slept soundly in his cot. She ran a hand through his tousled blonde hair and leaning down, she placed a soft kiss onto his forehead.

5:50 PM

"So how's school, darling?" Georgia Mercer, Dylan's mother, asked as Junie entered the house.

Ever since Lena and Bethany had left for university last year the house had become quieter, less hectic. She kind of missed the sound of Bethany's gleeful laugh and Lena's quick, witty replies. 

Junie dropped her skateboard next to the coat hunger and shrugged, "Same as always...terrible."

"Aw it'll get better, you're graduating next year, " Georgia gave her a warm smile, "Dyl's in his room."

Junie nodded and starting up the stairs. 

"Oh Junie," Georgia said.

Junie paused and glanced back, "Yeah?"

"Happy birthday, love," she said with the softest smile that was so much like Dylan's.   

Junie smiled back, "Oh...thank you."

She turned and ran up the last of the steps.  Dylan's room was the second door to the right.  Like always, she never bothered to knock, only barged in with an easy smile and a quip ready on her lips. It felt different this time. It was the first time she'd been to his house in two months and for the first time in years, Junie felt out of place. They didn't see much of each other lately. Dylan had the swim team and soccer practice, when he wasn't doing that Helen would whisk him away. Junie had to work at the cafe, take care Dylan and study for all the extra classes she'd signed up for. 

Her heart beat too fast as her eyes landed on him fast asleep on his bed. Funnily enough it was the sight of the mess, the clothes everywhere and the sound of Beatles playing quietly in the background that calmed her down. 

Junie walked over to his bed, her hand came to rest on the head board as she gazed down at him. She bit her lip. His black hair stuck up from all angles, his parted slightly as he snored. 

It had been a hard year. Ever since she'd confessed that night in his garden, things had been - strained to say the least. In the following months it had been so hard to be around him without her heart breaking. She'd avoided him, spent her days in the lost in physics work, charting galaxies and the death of stars with the tip of her finger. Just as she'd feared Dylan began dating Helen Torres at Christmas, apparently they'd kissed at Perry Han's house party and had been the golden couple ever since. 

Dylan's eyebrows knitted together. He scowled and muttered something she couldn't catch. Junie rubbed his cheek with her thumb and the scowl melted away. Her breath hitched as she wondered if she had done that.

She'd been so desperate for him to forget her confession, she faced him with a bright grin and told him she was happy he'd found someone. She was either a good actress or Dylan didn't want to push the subject. On the bright side, their relationship - whatever it was or whatever was left of it - had started to click back together, piece by piece. 

Dylan's eyes fluttered open, it took a few seconds before they focused on her. Junie quickly pulled her hand from his cheek. 

"Junie...?" He grumbled.

"Hey," she said softly, "Are you alright?"

Dylan rose up onto his elbows and let out a wince. 

"My head's killing me," he said, his voice deep and raspy.

Junie slid onto the space next to him on the bed, pulling up her legs so she sat crossed legged. She frowned. "Why haven't you been to school in like two days, New Zealand? Are you moping about because of your break-up with Helen?"

He pushed himself up to sit and leaned back against the headboard. He sniffed, "I think I'm getting a cold and I, sort of, sprained my ankle."

Junie cocked an eyebrow. "What? How?"

Dylan pulled the duvet covers aside, revealing his left leg that was dressed in a white cast. "Y'know how Sid Unwin is an arsehole?"

Junie nodded. Everybody knew that.

"Well, I was at the skate park and he bet that I couldn't do a rail side," he said and he looked so adorably sheepish about it all, "And, well....obviously I lost the bet."

She laughed.  "You're an idiot."

His mouth stretched into a grin, wide and cheeky, his blue eyes finding hers as he said, "That's why you love me."

She looked at him with obvious want, "I do."

The words floated in the space between them, taunting her. Dylan's eyes widened and Junie wanted nothing more than to jump out of the window.  

"Um." 

"Junie."

"I'm sorry. I just meant that...you're an idiot...and you...you..."

"Junie."

"You're just so - so you, how could I not? And I-"

"Juniper!" He snapped and she jumped. He sighed, his shoulders sagging. When he said her name again, it was too soft for her to bear. "Juniper."

On him, her name sounded like a melody, like a treasure he couldn't afford to lose. She bit her lip and braced herself for the inevitable rejection. The first time had broken her heart and she was still recovering. The second time would not shatter it, it would cause it to vanish, leaving nothing but an empty space where her heart used to be. She squared her shoulders and braced herself. She would bear the empty space because she had to. Perhaps life would be easier without it. 

Instead, he said, "I've missed you."

She blinked. "What?"

"I miss you," he said, this time his eyes met hers. "We haven't been hanging out or even talking in the last year and I miss you, Junie, I miss you and I..."

Junie waited with her heart, her lungs, her stomach sat in her throat. 

"You what?" she choked out. 

"I miss you," he said again, his eyes flitted to the ceiling, to the window and then finally back to her. "I miss you and I love you, Junie."

The words shot out like arrows and pierced Junie's chest. He continued to speak and more arrows came, each one lodged into her heart with sparks.

"I want to be your friend, I do, but I also I want more, I want...I want you," he said, "I love you like I hope you love me." 

"Dylan," she whispered. 

"If you'll have me," he said, looking at her with those big blue eyes. He leaned into her, "If you'll have me, Junie. I'll be yours."

Her breathing had become ragged, her heart was a beating wild thing punctured by forty buzzing arrows. 

"And - and if you we don't work out?" she asked, her gaze dropped to his mouth and he drew in the sharpest breath. 

Junie watched his mouth form the words. "We will," he said. 

"But how do you know?"

He leaned closer and closer and pressed a soft, silky kiss to her cheek. Sparks popped where his lips met her reddened skin. "I don't," he whispered as he dragged his mouth up her cheek and onto her forehead where he pressed another kiss, "and you don't either, Junebug."

Her body vibrated and sang at each kiss he placed to her other cheek, her nose, her eyebrow.  

"And Helen?" she asked, forcing herself  - despite everything she wanted - to pull back and look at him, "What...what about Helen?"

They'd broke up a few weeks ago. It wasn't much of a surprise, for the past year Dylan and Helen had a confusing on-off relationship nobody could work out. One week, all they would be doing was arguing and rumours fly around that Fred Hollows High's golden couple had split, but the next week they were together again, kissing by the lockers, holding hands to class. 

"Junie. Junie. She's not you," his slid hand to grasp the back of her neck, "Last year, I know I hurt you  when I said I didn't the feel same but it's only because I didn't understand, Junie. I didn't get it. I do now. I thought it was normal for your heart to beat for someone and only them. I didn't wake up and realise I love you. Junie, I've always loved you and that's why I never realised it because I've never known anything other than - than...this."

Her eyes were wide and she had grabbed his shirt at some point. "Dylan."

"So," he said, resting his forehead against hers. "What do you say?"

"To what?" her voice barely more than a squeak. 

"To us," he whispered. "You and me."

She nodded, too stunned to say anything else and there it was. That all-consuming smile, the birth of a universe, shooting light into every cell of her body and leaving her aglow. 

"I would kiss you," he laughed and the sound rang through her, "but I think I have a cold."

Her gaze dropped down to his mouth again. She had never allowed herself the luxury before. It was always short, fleeting glances before Dylan or anyone could notice. She had waited almost five years for this moment and there was not a single chance in heaven or hell that she would wait a moment longer.

"I don't care," she breathed before she clenched both of her hands into his shirt and kissed him. 

And it felt as if the scattered stars had finally aligned.