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"I endlessly held onto you, But i need to let you go."
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"Love always preserues."
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JISOO POV.
My eyes scan the unfamiliar place in front of me. I am just standing there, frozen and tense. I have no idea how i got here, like the three of us just entered a dark alley --- the alley where i keep getting chills whenever i am passing by.

Then the next moment, i am in a library and i have no idea why am in a library. Henry struts towards the couch. Namjoon just stood by my side, shooting me a worried look. And i just have no effing idea wha's going on right now.

I am feel cold and very uncomfortable to the point that i am even sweating.

"Namjoon, what's going on...?"

I asked quietly. I pursed his lips, looking apologetic and guilty.

"Let's have a seat first."

He leads me to the couch across henry. The little guy is just silently watching my eyes movement. I sit down slowly and Namjoon does the same.

"Namjoon, leave us alone."

He said man frowns.

"No."

"Namjoon..."

He said warningly.

"...let us have our talk first. Then you can explain everything else to her."

Namjoon looks back at me with uncertain eyes. I don't even know what to react or say to him. I lean back on my chair, trying to look unitimidated. Henry just looks plainly amused.

"It's okay. If you won't stay away, Namjoon will."

I pause.

"You think Namjoon won't obey me? Do you even know namjoon's past is? Do you even know what Namjoon did in the past? You think he is genuine person?"

He scoffs then laughs

"You don't even know what lies he told you."

I clench my jaw and fight the urge to slap the magic out of the boy in front of me.

"He has only one goal that he must do, Jisoo. And that is to free the two Miracle soul."

"From what i have read, those two souls need to truly love each other in order to be free..."

I cock my head to the side.

"...You think you can force them truly love each other?"

The boy looks at me for a while, trying to understand what i want to say.

"Go on."

"You're the one who will grant my wish, right? Then make us switch souls again and Namjoon---"

"What makes you think that Namjoon loves you? You're all bunch of confused kids thinking that every tingle you're feeling is called love."

That question shut me up. And i don't even know how to answer.

'He...he feels the same way, right?'

"H-He said that he will c-choose me..."

Henry laughs again, but with no humor in it.

"Lie."

"No, it is not."

I grit out.

"How would you know? Do you even know how many times Namjoon lied to you? Oh, like that one time where you 'first met' each othere, you think...he didn't purposely bumped into you? You think he is really new around here? You think he really got off the wrong station? You think he just coincidentally...transfereed in your school?"

Henry chuckle at my surprised reaction.

"It was all planned. We've been watching you for a while, Jisoo. I've been watching you."

The kid that looks like Henry when i were young flashes back in my brain and chills run through my body.

'No...no way...'

"And every time he would talk or smile at you, and when your eyes will meet, and the pairing or grouping, the club, being closer to you---it was all planned...A plan to get you like him."

I don't know how to react to what he just revealed.

Namjoon.

He lied to me.

He set me up.

He played me.

I frown and glare at Henry.

"No, he didn't."

"Oh?"

"You planned that. You made Namjoon do all of that. It isn't his fault."

Henry click his tongue.

"Idiot."

I stand up.

"Stay out of our lives, Henry. Let us love who we want to. Let us chose. You can't control us. You're just a fairy."

He scowls at me.

"You think you'll end up with Namjoon? Destiny is against you two now. Even the universe is against you two. And what can you do? You're only a human."

"Watch me create miracle."

"Ha, I'm the one who create miracle. Don't be foolish."

"You're not the only one."

I throw him a dirty look before walking.

"You're so selfish. You are not even thinking of Namjoon's efforts."

I try not to listen to him. After all, i don't know if he is saying the truth. I know he is feeling desperate. I can sense it.

"Did you know that once the two Miracle Souls are finally released, their owner would experience good luck and happiness for a long time? Don't you think...Namjoon deserves that after what he went through?"

I stop walking and Henry continues.

"He doesn't have any parents nor relatives. His mother died after giving birth to him back in the hallway. We have no idea who his father is. I just found him in the alley, almost dying."

I look back at him with wide eyes.

"And even though it is against our law to be associated with humas, i took him in. I can't really do much for him due to that law. Ever since he was young, he has to work and beg just to have money. He didn't go to school until now, Jisoo. He never had any friends."

I gasp as i imagine a small Namjoon trying very hard to survive life alone.

"This is also for his own good, Jisoo. I want him to be happy...And also because to grant someone's dream."

I bite my lower lip. I can feel a lump in my throat.

'I didn't know Namjoon went through all of that.'

"Especially now. I can't hide him any longer. The hingher are aware that I'm keeping a human here. I don't know what they will do to the two of us. And you can feel it right? When you still have the Miracle Soul, you always feel so restless. There are even times when you would feel lonely, right?"

I nod, remembering the prevous moment where i would feel sad of nowhere and i oddly melancholic dreams.

"You're not the only one feeling it. Namjoon can, too. That is because your souls are yearning for each other and wants to be free. This is why Namjoon need to be with your twin."

I would have never guessed. And now, i feel guilty. I feel like i am hindering him from his road to happiness

'He wouldn't be happy with me. Not with the universe and all of the odds are against us.'

Namjoon deserves to be happy. There is no room for selfishness.

I take a deep breath.

"Okay."

I turn around once again.

"I'll stay away from Namjoon and guide him to his happiness."

And i start to walk, my mind in a haze.

Letting go of Namjoon is not really easy. Especially since he become part of my life. But if it is for Namjoon, i am willing to do everything for his happiness.

I exit the room and i saw namjoon standing outside. His eyes lit up when he saw me.

"Jisoo! Are you okay? Did Hiram hurt you?"

I have so many question left. But i only stare at him and give him a smile.

"I'm okay. I'm fine."

I lied.

"I...I think you deserve to be happy Namjoon..."

His eyes shows disappointment as if he knows what i am going to say next.

"You're such a strong person and i think you deserve the world. A-and..."

My voice wavers and i evert my gaze.

"Henry, or Hiram, is right."

I heard him inhale sharply.

"Okay, i understand that you want the best for me. I'll try my best to be happy without you by my side, Jisoo."

"You know, Jisu is better than me. She's nice and all. She also likes books. You two already get along well."

He just stares blankly at my face.

"Yeah...I'll manage."

I gulp thickly and clench my fists.

"It will better if we don't see each other for...a while."

"I see."

"I wish you all the best."

My voice cracks as i feel tears welling up on my eyes.

'I can't be selfish, Namjoon.'

"Please...show me the exit."

Namjoon queitly leads me to a door, eyes nowhere near me.

"Once you go past through this door, you'll be in the alley we entered earlier."

His voice even sounds so lifeless. It made me even more sorrowful.

"Okay. Thank you..."

I grab the doorknob.

"...goodbye."

But before i can open the door, i can feel arms wrapped around me. I sigh as a tear fall down on my cheek. His arm tighten around me. His face is buried on my nape. I can feel the quivering of his lips.

I close my eyes trying to savor his warmth.

"You are my first friend."

"But not your last."

I mutter. I open the door and slip away from his grasp.

"Be happy."

And i walk away, not even turning to look back.

'I'll miss him. Very much.'

The moment i got home, i just sit down on my bed. My eyes are just fixed on the wall in front of me. I am starting to think if this is the best decision. But in the end, how are i going to know if it is the best or not?

I am having a staring contest with my wall until shota tries to limb my bed which caught my attention.

"Hey, buddy."

I reach over and lift the puppy on my bed. The dog went straight on my lap. I chuckle at how friendly the puppy is. Then, she suddenly reach over and nuzzle my cheek. She whimpers a little then rests her face on my shoulder as if trying to comfort me.

"Am i that abvious?"

I chuckle which got cut off when tears well up in my eyes again.

"Thank you."

I hug the dog closer. My heart just feels so heavy. I heave a deep sigh.

'Starting today, you're going to be Namjoon-free, Jisoo.'

I don't have someone i can tell my cringey and lame puns or pick-up lines. I don't have someone to watch movie with in the book club. I don't have someone who will wait for me to wake up in class. I don't have someone who will throw me crumpled paper in the middle of the class. I don't have someone who's always staying by my side.

'Kim Namjoon...'

My heart clenches at the thought of him. I bite my lower lip for the nineth time. Right now, i am feeling very uneasy.

What if Henry or Hiram erases my memory of Namjoon so that things will be easier for the two of us? With that though, i stand up and grab some papers.

I start writing down my memories with namjoon. And as i do that, i realize how much time i've spent with him. Memories with him suddenly starts flashing in my mind like a slideshow.

'I'll never forget him. Never.'

Next day is like hell to me.

I don't even want to wake up and go to school. Heck, i don't even open my eyes due to how swollen they are. And...i just heard from Jisu that she's going to walk to school with Namjoon.

I have no idea how to feel about that. But, it is good that it is happening.

"Your lunch is on the countertop. See ya!"

I nod spiritlessly. I know namjoon is outside my house and i am itching to go meet him. I just watch Jisu leaving the house with the half heart-shaped keychain dangling on her bag. I gave it to her earlier, figuring that i don't need it anymore.

The sound of the door clicking close echoed in the room. Silence followed after. I stand up from the couch.

'I need to be strong. Just like Namjoon.'

My eyes then travel to the flowers given by Henry. My twin's flower is completely withered, no petals left. Mines is stil fresh as if newly picked.

'That is the things Henry said that will grant our wishes?'

I stare at it hard for a few seconds.

'Fuck you.'

It is very hard to concentrate.

Namjoon is just right next to me.

I am fighting the urge to look or even talk to him. There's a really tense atmosphere around we two. I can't even listen to what my teacher is saying.

'It's gonna be like this every single day...?'

Good luck to me.

I certainly need it.

I sigh and raise my hand.

"Yes, Jisoo?"

"I'm not feeling well, can i go to the infirmary?"

"Sure."

I stand up on my seat and walk away, feeling two pairs of eyes watching my movement.

I just stayed there until lunch break. Time feels so slow this time. And i want to skip forward time. I have my arm across my eyes is close as i lie down on the bed. Then i feel someone poking my cheek

"Boop."

Then a chuckle.

"Jin?"

I remove my arm and sit up.

"What are you doing here?"

He smiles, the old and familiar smile i miss.

"I heard you're not feeling well."

"Ah..."

I avert my eyes and nod. Jin notices my grave expression.

"Are you okay?"

His honey-filled voice sounds so worried.

"I'm fine."

I muster a fake smile.

"Just needed a rest."

But jin knows me very well and it is obvious that he doesn't believe me. He stares at me for a while before reaching out and rests my head on his chest.

"Okay..."

He pats my head gently and runs his finger through my hair.

"I'm still here."

His words are filled with assurance.

"Thank you."

I manage to croak out.

I am glad that Jin is here right now. I definitely need someone by my side. I want some distraction to keep my mind off Namjoon. And i shouldn't be moping about somehing i decided.

It is my decision.

Namjoon isn't the only guy in the world.

"Let's eat luch together?"

"Oh, I forgot my lunch at home."

He laughs. I can feel the vibration on his chest.

"Typical."

He finally releases me and smiles brightly.

"I can share my lunch with you."

"I might eat it all. I'm very hungry."

"It's okay. I like you."

I am about to say something when i realize what he said.

"What...?"

I stare at him, dumbfounded. The corner of his lips tug upwards as he scratch his cheek.

"Yeah...for a long time."

His cheeks have a faint color of red. I just gaze at him, frozen.

'He likes me...for a long time...'

"I'm...not Jisu."

"Hm? I know. It's you that i like, Jisoo. Not in a friendly way or so."

He stares earnestly in my eyes.

"I like you."

If i don't love Namjoon, i would've jump with joy right now.

But...i love Namjoon.

Jin notices my reaction and panics.

"Y-you don't have to feel the s-same way. I-I just want to c-confess. I know it's not the r-right time. Let's...eat lunch?"

I nod and slowly smile.

"S-sure."

He helps me off the bed.

The two of us exit the infirmary.

"Namjoon?"

I halt when i heard his name. I quickly avert my eyes.

"Hello."

I can hear the strain in his voice.

"Where are you going? Do you want to eat lunch with us?"

"Min---"

"---no, thank you. I just went to pee."

He waves then walks away.

'Pee? But there's no restroom in this wing...'

"He must want to check if you're okay."

He mutters. He looks at me, then to Namjoon's retreating back. I can sense that he's putting the puzzles together. Realization hits him as he sends me a confused look.

"How did this happened? I mean the two of you are so..."

I shake my head.

"I want to."

I start to walk, not wanting to talk about Namjoon anymore. But then Jin suddenly grabs my wrist. I stop walking and turn to him.

"Date me Jisoo."

My eyes shot open.

"What?"

"I'll be your distraction. I will try to take your mind off him. Please. I want to see you happy. And the only times when i saw you happy is whenever you're with him. But I'll try to fill up his position. Please, Jisoo."

"What? Jin, no. I don't want to use you. I don't want to hurt you."

"But I'm already hurting, hurt by seeing you this lonely. So heartbroken."

"I'll...be better. I just need time."

'Time to accept things.'

Jin gives me one hard look.

"Okay...but my offer still stands. I'm willing to do anything to make you happy."

My lashes flutter as i look down.

'Me too, Jin. I'm willing to do anything just to make him happy.'

"Just, don't mention his name or anything."

He nods firmly.

"Got it."

I went back in class after lunch. But the moment i got in my room, there's no one.

"Ah, it's P.E time."

I whip around to go to the court.

And the moment i do that, my eyes met with the person i've been avoiding.

I immediately avert my eyes.

"They are in the court."

"I know."

I move to walk away.

"Wait."

I stop at his word

"I..."

I can sense from his tone that he want to say many things.

"I'll ask Jisu out."

That hit me so badly in the heart.

I swore i feel like my body become numb and my ears gone deaf for a second.

I close my eyes and nod.

"Okay."

"And, our keychain...become one again."

I nod.

"Glad to hear it."

He wants to talk to me so badly.

I can feel it. And i want the same, too. This scene reminds me of last time where the two of us are surrounded with thousands of fireflies

"I think what Hiram said is right. That, what i am feeling is just an illusion because of our souls. Miracle Souls want each other to begin with and that is... what are we feeling."

I nod again, still not looking at him. Then, he said something that really hurt me.

"I'll...forget my feelings for you in no time. Since I'm already feeling a little attracted to Jisu."

My back is facing him, so i have no idea what expression he is wearing. And i am afraid to look.

"...y-you are feeling a-attracted to her s-since she has the other Miracle Souls. It's only natural."

I mumble, but i am sure he heard it.

"But, i hope things work out for you. I hope you become happy."

"Why do you want to make me happy so bad?"

He asked, frustration is heard in his voice.

"Don't you know that i can be truly happy when I'm with you?"

I heard him taking a step closer to me.

"Henry told me about the first time you met 'me'. He told me that you immediately fell in love at first sight. He told me about the details...like where was i when that happened or what i wore..."

I take a deep breath. He stayed still on his spot.

"...but that wasn't me. It was Jisu that you saw."

I turn around and see his shocked expression.

"It was always Jisu. I only got in the way."

I smile bitterly.

"This isn't our story. This is not about you and me. This is about you and Jisu. And i'm just a side character that's keeping the two of you being together."

He opens his mouth to say something, but i cut him off.

"It's okay. I'm used to this. I've had plenty of people confessing to me, but who they really want to confess to, is jisu. It's okay."

I lick my dry lips.

"Well. I'll try to stay out of your way."

I nod to him, then walk away.

'I'm sorry, Namjoon.'

I walk faster to be away from him as soon as possible.

'I lied.'

The moment the last period ends, i went straight home. There is club meeting today, but there's no point anymore. Jisu told me that Namjoon want to quit the club.

She also asked what happened between the two of us but i just gave her a vague answer. And lastly, she handed me a note from Namjoon. The moment i saw his familiar handwriting, my heart just melts.

But it went down the drain when i read his words.

'Congrats. You should go out with him.'

He knew.

Was he there the whole time?

I close my eyes tightly as i feel my heart squeeze painfully.

This is so dump.

I missed my life when i haven't met Namjoon yet it was so peaceful.

Silent.

No dramas.

But when i met Namjoon, it was such an experience. I felt several emotions. I create beautiful moments with him. But now, those moments are gonna be painful. And this, is gonna be painful.

I heave a sigh and open my eyes.

'I've been sighing a lot.'

I stare at the carpet for a while, until my eyes saw shota's squeaky toy on the floor.

'Where's Shota?'

Now that i mention it, it was awfully quiet when i got home. I stand up from the couch and start to look for him.

"Shots? Where are you, girl?"

I make my way on my room. I peek in and saw Shota sleeping on my bed.

"There you are."

I smile as i walk up to her.

But as i am walking, i notice something different.

It sent a wave if unsettled feeling

"...Shota?"

I pat her head, but she didn't move or anything. In fact, she's not moving at all.

She completely still.

"Shota?"

I

woke up the sleeping dog. My heart starts to beat louder when there's no response from the puppy at all.

'No...no...'

I slowly back away from the peacefully sleeping pup.

I didn't realize that tears are streaming down on my face.

"You can't just enter my life without any warning then leave with me becoming attached."

I bite my trembling lower lip.

"W-Why...?"

Shota immediately become part of my life the moment he gave her to me. She is someone i cherish not because i love dogs and all. But because he trust me on taking care of her.

He trust me to take care of her.

But now...Shota's gone, After being with me for a short time.

I hope this is all a bad dream.

And i hope to wake up soon.

I try to walk back into living room, not knowing what to do. But i haven't even reach the couch yet when my legs decided to give up on me. I slide down on the floor gravely.

I can't think straight.
I can't even think properly.

But then, my eyes caught something. I look up and saw my flower standing invitingly in a vase.

'Would it hurt less if i can't even remember him? Will i still be miserable if i haven't met him?'

I stare longingly at my only hope: the flower

I saw Namjoon approaching me with confused and worried eyes.

"Jisoo? Why did you call me?"

I fiddle on the flower in my hands. His eyes travel down to the white flower i am holding. Then he looks back up with wide eyes.

"Jisoo?"

He asked with caution.

"Why are you holding that?"

I only smile at him.

"I wonder if time will come that when i confess to you, nothing will cut me off."

His eyes are confused as he stares at me.

"We've tried to confess to each other so many times, but none of us has succeeded."

I look at the moon that is shining so bright above we two. It is so quiet and peaceful that i am sure nothing is going to interrupt me.

'If i got cut off, then that really mean we're not meant to be.'

And i'll do it.

"Namjoon, I..."

I look up at him square in the eyes. He looks at me with expectation shining in his eyes.

"I lo---"

The sky roared loudly, cutting me off.

'One more time.'

I take a deep breath, determined to say it out loud to him.

"I love you!"

But the moment i said that, it roared again making my words unable to be heard.

The answer is crystal clear.

But it still hurts.

My shoulders drop down.

"I'm going to say goodbye."

"Why...?"

His eyes flash fear when he heard my words.

"It's for the better. I just want to say that I'l cherish our memories together. You are the greatest thing that happened to me, i'm so glad that i met you. I'm still happy that I found you, though it is painful now. I will remember the times we've been together. I'm also glad that you changed in me some ways."

I didn't fail to notice the changes i've done ever since i met him. It was a drastic from a snob to a radiant one.

I smile at him sincerely.

A smile that i rarely have.
A smile that is because of Namjoon

"Are you french?"

"What...?"

He looks utterly confused at my question.

"Because Eiffel for you."

His lower lip trembled as he tries not to cry. His glassy eyes look so sad.

"I know you are giving up on us, but I'm not. I don't care what they say about us. I don't care if the world hates us. I don't care even if the universe is against us. Because for me, we are the universe. You..."

He points at me.

"...and me."

He cups my face and brings my forehead together. The sky roared loudly again as if yelling at the two of us to move away from each other. I can feel it's rage.

"Only the two of us. We are our universe."

He whispers with his eyes closed. Tears are already running down my cheeks.

"Namjoon..."

"Jisoo...Jisoo, Jisoo, Jisoo."

He mutters my name like mantra. It's as if he is trying to etch my name so that he won't ever forget it. I put my hands above his, trying to savor his warmth. I try to remember everything about his face.

I carve his image in my head.

"Let's make a deal, whatever happens to us in the future, let's meet here. At the exact spot. Same date. When we are thirty and still single, let's meet 'Okay?"

He chuckles and i nod.

"Deal."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He stares deeply in my eyes.
He stares at me as if i am the most precious thing in the world. He leans in, and plant a sweet and gentle kiss on my forehead. Thunder growls at then action, but nothing can stop my love each other.

Then after a while, he closes his eyes and let's me go. He smiles, the same smile he gave whenever my eyes would meet back then.

A flustered, yet genuine one.

"Make your wish."

He nods at me

I look down at the flower i am holding.

I don't know what will happen the moment i say my wish. I never really thought that i will get to use that flower. I am a person that is satisfied or just live through whatever i have.

But...

'Please understand me...i just don't like being in the way.'

"I wish..."

I take a very deep breath.

'At the very end. I just want you to be happy, Namjoon.'

"...I never met you, Namjoon."

'Even if it means sacrificing my own. I will not regret it, because I love you.'

The flowers lights up, as if answering my wish. I look up at Namjoon and saw him smiling at me comfortingly his tears.

'Our memories together will be forever in my heart.'

The flower's light become even brighter and brighter. Until it swallows me. The last thing i saw is Namjoon mouthing something to me.

"I love you."

And everything went back.

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