UNEDITED: With a bazillion Typos.

Before you start. She will end up with one of them.I mean I'm all for Clara being independent and all but this book is the epitome of clichè on wattpad and will have a happy ending. Kay?

Now since you've made your choice it's my job to make you regret it. Again not much happens in this chapter it's a filler.

I'm vaguely aware that what Michella has just said is supposed to be ringing some kind of alarms in me but instead I'm just sitting there playing with my hair.

I need another beer, I reach for another beer that's placed on the kitchen counter and down it in two gulps.

It tastes much more bitter and I glance at it realising that it was something far stronger than beer.

Well good for me.

"Are you really going to do this now?" Jake asks,"On the speaker in front of her?"

I have really cool hair.

"Oh please she's so drunk that she won't remember anything tomorrow." Michella says,"And getting answers out of you is next to impossible."

"I know, she has a habit of forgetting things when she gets drunk." Jake says dismissively,"And tuning out too, but that doesn't make this okay."

"I'm not doing anything unless you tell me the truth." Michella shoots back.

It's all blonde and curly. Ooh, that's so cool it looks yellow.
Wait do I like yellow?

"Spencer told her." Jake says,"Are you happy now? Or do want me to lay out a red carpet out for you to a screening of the exact details of what happened? Just fucking get her home."

"So you didn't tell her anything?" Michella asks.

"No." Jake sighs,"I didn't, she found out. About everything except you,as far as I'm aware."

"Then how did she know-", Michella looked at me and started to smile,"My my sis haven't you gotten better in bullshitting."

"Why can't pigs fly?" I ask, I'm not sure what she's talking about but the matter in hand is much more important. Pigs had every right to fly so why didn't they?

"The pink ones can't fly." Jake says softly I think he's laughing slightly,"The purple ones can."

"Ooh purple." I say,"But I haven't seen any purple pigs."

"Exactly." He says. I smile contend with the answer and proceed to think if pigs would look better with neon yellow or neon green polka dots.

"You're good with her." Michella says,"You actually got her to shut her mouth I-"

"Michella get her home now."

"Your concern for her is absolutely touching." She says,"Jake Henderson in love. It sounds so fucking bizzare it laughable and the funniest part you chose the squeaky clean girl out of them all but then again she's not that way anymore is she? You've screwed her up pretty bad."

"Which just tells us she must be head over heels for you." Michella states staring over at me,"I never thought she knew about just how deep you were into this shit. I always thought she would go running back to Alec when she found out just how damaged you were."

"Thanks for the compliment Michella it's always an absolute delight to know what you think." Jake replies,"So get her back home, now."

"No this is exciting finally finding something to get back to you with. Never thought it would be my little sister, we both know you can do much better." She says,"It's absolutely flipping fantastic how you ruined her though. I mean who would have thought miss perfection here would get so screwed by you?"

"In New York it didn't take much to see that you were purposely using here to avoid me." She says,"Because I know my little sister and it's always been Alec Evans for her and you... Well know one was ever going to get through to you."

Hmm, neon green looks far better on purple. But what if they were light purple?

"So I slept with Alec for fun." Michella shrugs,"It always got to her before so why not give it a chance. He's dumb as a doorknob though and at that time completely smitten over her. I thought she'd go running to him, It's funny how similar they are to be honest it's uncanny how perfect the both of them are for each other."

"But that day she didn't say anything." Michella says,"Instead she went to you."

No, neon green. I'm sticking with that, now the question of how many polka dots they have.

"During New York after you so politely upped and left, I thought you did screw her over for good. What I didn't know that she let herself get screwed over by you even after she knew everything. I don't know which one of you is more pathetic."

"I always thought she'd be the one of us who'd have the perfect chapel wedding with Alec, get dad's company and yet... She's here sitting on the counter at a frat party drunk out of her damn mind." Michella says,"Just shows us your ability to screw the best of us over. Literally and figuratively."

"Don't try to act like a martyr." Jake says,"You were the one who dragged yourself into this and pulled me back in with you."

"You resent me for your mistakes?" She says,"That's just pathetic considering that I was just trying to help you."

23 polka dots, that seems acceptable, but then would they all be big or small?

"And I helped you." Jake shoots back,"We are done, now get her out of that damn party now."

"Why her?Jake, you had me-"

"We are not having this conversation here, not in front of her, not ever in fact." He interrupts,"I'm in half a mind to send you back to New York and make sure you come nowhere near her, unfortunately my mother told me why you're here and I can't believe I'm actually saying this but she actually needs you and I swear to god Michella you do anything to hurt her I will bury you."

"Id warned you." Michella says,"We could have-"

"We couldn't,we both know that you and I have absolutely no feelings for each other you were just using me and it was vice versa."

What about rainbow stripes instead of polka dots , they would look much better.

"You knew." Michella states.

"It doesn't take a lot to guess and Spencer and keep her mouth shut. I knew from the beginning."

"And did you tell Clara?"

I look up when I hear my name and say accusingly,"Were you talking about me?"

"Nope." Michella replies smoothly,"Go back to your flying purple pigs."

"They are not just purple they have rainbow coloured stripes and you don't need to be so rude." I say and then go back to counting how many stripes that would make.

Hmm What was twenty three into seven?

"Get her home-"

"Did you tell her?" Michella persists.

"I don't want to do this here not when she can hear everything." Jake says,"Would you rather not do this face to-"

"Oh please we both know you won't tell me anything." Michella cuts him off,"So tell me Jake, did you or did you not tell her?"

Could seven even be multiplied with twenty three? Hmm multiply what a strange word. No you know what was a strange word?

Moist.

"I didn't." Jake responds,"I did tell her how you got yourself kicked out of Harvard but I never told her about this, it was never my secret to tell but if you don't get her back home safe then I swear to god I won't care who comes to know your dirty little secret."

"You wouldn't." Michella says tightly.

"Take a good look at the girl in front of you." Jake responds,"And get one thing very clear, you know I'm not the good guy and when it comes to her I don't care what I have to do, consequences be damned. When it comes to her I don't play fair."

"So Michella go get her home now before I swear to god I do something that I probably won't regret but you'll probably have to suffer for your whole life."

Mooooiiiisssst.

"She's the reason you're coming back to New York aren't you?" Michella finally says,"Spencer knows about her so I can only guess that Eric does too and since now you're practically untouchable I can only guess what he's using to get to you."

"Get her home Michella." Jake sighs,"I'm done having this conversation with you. We both know that under your bitch exterior you have something that resembles a heart so use it for once won't you."

"If the roles were reserved she'd probably leave me here to rot."

"Ah but you would have most probably deserved it." Jake says,"But she wouldn't leave you here and you know it."

She sighs,"Yeah I know."

_________________

"I should get drunk more often." I say as she drags me out of the front door,"Because I literally become an absolute goddess when it comes to my comebacks."

Michella mutters something underneath her breath and shoves me into the car making me tumble into the passenger seat.

"Ooh. Shotgun." I say as she sits down next to me.

"Put the seat belt on." She commands and then starts to back.

"Why you're not drinking and driving are you?" I slur,"Because that's bad so very very bad."

"Absolutely nothing is worth this." She says as the car starts ahead and I'm shoved slightly forward.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask,"Wouldn't you rather see my lying dead on the side of a road. To be honest as of now I'm not sure who wouldn't prefer that."

"I'm driving you home because I made a deal with Jake." She says,"You know the boy who you've somehow got wrapped around your little finger?"

I hold both my hands in front of me and scan them,"Nope I'm sorry nothing wrapped around any of my fingers."

"I don't know how you managed to keep my fooled for so long." She says and then I realise something.

Michella is not drunk.

This is how Newton must have felt when he discovered gravity.

"Why aren't you drunk?" I ask,"I remember how you used to get smashed in these parties. And your bitchy moods afterwards used to defy laws."

"Why thank you." Michella says.

I frown,"I don't think that was a compliment but then again you're probably not used to hearing people say nice things about you too often so I understand the confusion."

"God you're a real bitch aren't you?" She snaps.

"I've learnt from the best." I say grinning,"Anyways blondes vs gingers what's your opinion? I'm thinking of turning my hair red and-"

"You're a real sharer aren't you?" She snaps,"Considering no one asked."

"Sharer. I'm literally lying to everyone." I say blowing on a lock of hair that had fallen on my hair,"I'm very very good at keeping secrets."

"You didn't keep mine." She mutters,"You told grandma."

"Oh my god." I say,"Is that why you aren't drunk because you got pregnant again? Is that why you came back so that mom doesn't find out?"

"I didn't get drunk because I learn from my mistakes." She states.

I stare at my palm keenly and she sighs,"What are you doing?"

"Nope. Nope." I say and then put my palm forward,"I checked my receipt, I didn't buy any of your bullshit."

She gives me a fuck you look and I smile to myself.

See? Absolute goddess.

We stay in silence for sometime. I try to peer out of the window to see if there are any purple pigs flying about but the sky is absolutely dark much to my dissapointment.

Well at least I know that the flying pigs don't glow.

"You know." I finally say,"I hate myself for telling grandma that you were pregnant?"

"I don't want-"

"You know I was actually trying to throw it away and hide it from her?" I keep on saying,"I didn't know she was at home and she kinda caught me."

"I told her it was mine I'm order to cover it up." I giggle,"Granted it was a bit of a stretch considering I was fourteen and I was me but I tried to convince her none the less."

"I didn't think she would force you into an abortion." I say,"It's just not like her and I felt terrible for weeks. I would have probably felt even worse had you not become a total and complete bitch to me after that."

"But you know the worst part about all of this, it's probably my fault that you turned out like this." I say,"Because of my absolutely dumb mistake I made you-"

The car stopped abruptly and I was pushed against my seat belt. She was lucky that we were in a deserted road or else I could very well be visiting the hospital again for completely different purposes this time though.

"Let's get one thing straight." Michella says turning around towards me, she looks beyond angry now and I'm about to remark how she may just spontaneously burst into flames but thankfully I manage to keep my mouth shut.

"Not everything in this world is about you." She says,"Not everything that happens is because of something you did."

"But you were nicer-"

"Will you shut it?" Michella says.

I mimic zipping my lips and throwing the key away as she rolls her eyes.

"Grandma didn't force me to do anything." She says,"I had planned to abort it the second I saw the test. And I went through with it."

I look at her gape mouthed.

"She may not have told me me to abort it but instead she gave me her support to raise-" Michella breaks away.

"I don't even know why I'm even telling you this." She says and starts the car.

"Wait." I say,"Then why have you hated me so much?"

She looks at me for a second as if she's contemplating to tell he truth or not before turning away,"Because I don't like you."

And that was the end of it.

_____________________

By the time I reach home I've counted exactly three hundred and four flying purple pigs.

Grandma was sleeping already.l when we finally reach. My sister simply slammed the door of her car and marched towards the door of the house.

I followed sluggishly shutting the door behind me and making my way straight to the liquor cabinet.

My grandmother had always an very respectable liquor cabinet, which was stocked up all the time. I grab the the first thing I see and head upstairs.

That's when I see a light switched on in the room next to mine.

Alec's light, it's on.

I fumble for my phone as I set myself on my window sill, letting my legs dangle.

Need to talk, can u come to ur window?

I press send before taking another sip of my beer. I peer over the window, the drop is quite a bit but it's not enough to kill me.

How very tragic.

The window opens and it takes Alec exactly two seconds to asses the situation with me swaying on the small ledge.

"Clara, get back in you'll fall."

I lift my head to get a better looks at him. He looks much better than yesterday but he still looks tired and he's barely meeting my eyes.

"Alec!" I squeal in delight but ending up slurring the end.

"Oh god are you drunk?" He asks.

I raise the beer bottle and then turn it upside down but nothing falls. I giggle and shake it,"Oops I think I just may be."

"Clara go back inside." He sighs.

"Why?" I say,"You did this all the time and you never fell." I tip closer to the edge.

I sway slightly and start giggling again. This was so funny, Everything was so funny now days.

"Clara-"

"Why won't you look at me?" I ask,"Are you shy? You don't have to be you know? I'm not Medusa, I promise I won't turn you into stone, I'm just a teeny tiny bit of a bitch."

I stop and shake my head laughing,"Okay I lied,I'm far worse."

"Clara, hold on I'm coming."

"No please don't." I say,"I need you to stay there, okay? pretty please?"

He stops but his eyes are still not meeting mine. Hmm it's possible I'm medusa, my hair was one step away from being a pile of snapping snakes anyway.

Snapping snakes, what a fab alliteration, I'm so damn smart at times.

"Why are you drunk?" He asks. I'm still thinking about how smart I am but there is something in his voice that strikes me with the fact that there is actually unsurity and a hint of fear in his voice.

"Well I'm drunk for a number of reasons."I say,"But it's mainly because of you and that damn idiotic brother of yours. Step brother or half brother? It's all so confusing."

Damn so much for being smart.

"You guys nicely almost got yourselves killed." I say,"And you're back to hating me and he's back to being an absolutely confusing bastard and everything's back to normal for everyone and everybody is flipping fantastically happy except me of course,because I'm the ultimate killjoy."

"If I had a superhero name it would probably be Kaptain Killjoy and the Captain would be spelt with a K." I say,"No wait- that would mean I would probably be a villain. Hmm that wouldn't be too far out to be honest, Clara Wilson killing and taking joy out of the world. Everyone hates me anyway-"

"Clara stop doing this." Alec says,"Nobody hates you."

"You do." I say,"And with good reason."

"No I don't."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that." I say.

"Clara-" he looks away though not being able to hold my gaze.

"We are over." I say and then laugh,"Oops sorry that was blunt, but it's true, isn't it?"

"Clara, listen to me, you're drunk-"

"No you listen to me." I say,"I'm drunk because I can't say this out loud and I-"

"Cla-"

"No, just let me." I say keeping my voice steady. Kaptain Killjoy had to do her work,"You don't need to pretend that this thing between us is actually working. That I didn't actually fuck up so epically. You know that this the right thing to do, you want to do this to but you're too nice to and I-"

"Clara don't do this." Alec says quietly and I promptly stop.

He's finally looking at me and he looks pained,"You didn't fuck up. I-I-"

He stops once again looks away. A pang of hurt makes me reach for my disappointingly empty bottle.

"It's okay." I say,"You don't need to be nice about this. We both know that I cheated on you. And that's just- god I can't even stand myself right now so I seriously can't ask you to."

He's leaning over his window clutching the ledge so tightly that his knuckles were turning white,"I-I-"

He seems to be at a loss for words and he's trying to say something but I shake my head,"It's okay, you don't have to say anything, we both know this is the best thing for you and-"

"I was wrong." Alec starts,"I was so damn wrong and I'm so sorry."

"Why are you apologising for my mistakes?" I interrupt,"You don't-"

"No Clara I get it." Alec says,"I finally get it. I finally get why you keep on going back to him and- I fucked up so bad. He's not-"

"What are you talking about?" I ask and his head snaps up in shock.

"They didn't tell you?" He asks.

I give him a what in the name of flying purple pigs with rainbow stripes are you talking about look.

He must have read my confusion on my face and he slumps back and muttered to himself,"They didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

He shuts his eyes and opens his mouth as if he's trying to say something but he doesn't.

"Did you tell Jake about-" my voice trails off as he shakes his head.

"No."he says,"I won't either because you're right he's-" Alec gulps,"He's a good guy Clara."

I look look at him unblinking my gaze was finally starting to clear,"I know. It's why I love him. It's why I love you too. Which is why I need to get away from both of you, it's just-" I gulp,"It's just that it's me who has been ruining it all this while. If it hadn't been for me, you guys could have been friends, you guys would actually agreed on things-"

"On the contrary we do agree on one very important thing." He says putting up the smallest of smiles. It actually looks almost painful when he smiles at me.

"So this it." I say at the back of my mind something is tugging on it urging me to ask something I've forgotten about,"The end, finito. Do you think we will be able to do the we can still be friends line?"

"Clara you didn't screw up." He says,"I-I fucked up pretty badly and if actually had the balls to tell you would. But I can't have you-"

"Alec it's okay." I say, how can Alec Evans screw up? He's Alec Evans, Kaptain Killjoy screws up. Golden boy was perfect, always had been,"You don't have to try to make me feel better."

He keeps quiet and I continue on,"I'm sorry for everything. You deserve better than me and-"

"Clara please stop."

And I do.
Because he'd gotten the point and I was just embarrassing myself now.

"Oh okay." I say suddenly fighting the urge to cry. It was over. Alec would never talk to me because I had singlehandedly taken our thirteen years of friendship and tossed it out the window for Jake Henderson.

And the worst part was that I was still not a hundred percent convinced that I wouldn't do it again.

Kaptain Killjoy seriously deserved to die alone.

"No." He starts again,"It's not you it's-its me."

I think the fact that he used that shit break up line to make me feel better hurt even more.

He looks at me desperately as if he wants to say something but he just cant.

"Clara-" he trails off and I give him the best smile possible. Even drunk out of mind I know that I'm not going to be able to keep it together for too long before spectacularly bursting into tears.

So I slowly climb off the ledge and stumble back into my room.

With the same bright smile plastered on my face I say,"Bye."

And I shut the curtains.
______

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't train wreck for the next two weeks.

It took sometime but I finally managed find the perfect alcohol to water ratio that made me care the least as well as enabled to at least walk in a straight line.

All it took was an opaque steel bottle a couple of breath mints and the exceptional ability to lie to everyone.

Well there was the fact that there was no one left to lie to.

To be honest the alcohol made me calmer than usual, somehow less clumsier and best of all it gave me the ability to not give two shits.

I didn't have enough to make myself forget everything and all it really managed to do was make me the ultimate bitch and just do things without giving a damn about the consequences.

Well not give two shits until the actual problem was put right in front of me.

Alec and I were never in the same room together if I could help it. I had asked Mrs Yetern, my chemistry teacher I do could just come up on Friday and do all my practicals for the week because I was too distracted in class otherwise.

To my surprise she said a yes without even hesitation but I think somewhere she But I think she knew that for the sake of all the test tubes and possible fires I may cause, this was the best option.

During Calculus Alec and I quite literally sat at the opposite corners or our class and avoided any form of eye contact or even a by mistake encounter while entering or exiting the class.

I spent most of my lunch time in the library avoiding the crowded school cafeteria. Everyone knew that Alec and I had broken up but till date nobody knew why.

The Gossip Review had it's suspicions of course about our break up ranging from my wild sex escapades with ex Jake Henderson to Alec's reunion with ex queen bee Natalie. I

To be honest I don't remember what we talked about that night. Or what I told him on the night itself. When I woke up the next morning I only had hazy memories of a party, lots of crying and something about purple flying pigs and Kaptain Killjoy, but that's about it. When Alec avoided me for the while of next day I could only conclude that I had actually had enough alcohol to go through with my initial plan.

His absence hit me even harder than I expected it to. I always found myself lingering at my window fighting the urge to just call him or just talk to him.

But I had ruined everything far too thoroughly to even think about mending things right now.

Samantha avoided me to the best of her ability. At times I wanted to do was nothing more than apologise but I chickened out of it at the last second.

To be honest I don't why it hadn't really hurt when she told me that she'd slept with Alec. It was a shock yes, but was it really her fault? It wasn't like Alec and I were dating or anything.

What actually hurt was when she told me that I got everything easily.

Which was ironic to the point of being absolutely hilarious considering I had nothing left because nobody could bare to be near to me.

In fact the only person who could stand me was Rebecca. She airbrushed over my bitchy mood swings and to be honest of it wasn't for her if probably be sitting in my room with yellow caution tapes all around me.

But with Rebecca, came Jeremy. And everytime he came with her holding hands all I wanted to do was to run away.

Mostly because I was afraid that one slip of my tongue and I would lose the one person who had actually stuck with me.

And then there was Jake.

Just thinking about his name sent my hands straight to my bottle to take another sip. I knew I was self destructing slowly but it was better than just exploding all at once.

Ever since that day at the hospital I hadn't actually brought myself to come face to face with him.

It was like every time I did I feel fell deeper and there was no point to it because we were done. He was going to leave after Ashley's wedding and that was the end of us.

The end of what we are, what we were and what we could be together.

I obviously went to the hospital and sat just sat there in my car contemplating wether to go in or not, but every time it actually came to seeing him I chickened out.

Ashley told me everything I needed to know, from Jake's recovery to the fact that he had to practically push his mother and step father in a plane to get them to go back to New York telling them that he was fine. She fine tuned the details of the accident for me too, how indeed it had even raining for a short while before the accident and how it was a perfect co-incidence.

But something kept on nagging at the back of my mind.

Jake had come back to school just yesterday and till now thankfully we hadn't had an encounter.

Because when it came to him no amount of alcohol could make me not care.

At times I did think what it would be like to fight him, to tell him to stay and what would happen if the microscopic possibility did come true and Eric got hit by a bus or something but I stopped almost immediately.

I couldn't do that to Alec.

But the main thing was that I wasn't going to make the same mistake as last time. Jumping headfirst into a relationship to forget about another.

I needed time.

I needed time to accept my situation and learn to live with myself.

I wasn't sure that even after centuries of being alone I would be able to tolerate myself without the company of my new best friend: alcohol.

But I was willing to give it a shot. To distance myself from Jake and Alec.

It was Friday morning, on the weekend before Spring Break that my plan on living a solitary life with only alcohol when everything went to hell.

I had just finished completing my college applications for Cal-Tech and MIT and was about to head over to post it before school.

Now days I used to walk to school which took me a good twenty minutes extra but it was better than being an idiot and driving the car while partially drunk.

But I happened to be running late that day which made me leave the application on the living room table and promising myself that I'll post them in the afternoon.

Big mistake, but I would come to regret the later on.

After giving my grandmother a quick kiss on her cheek to say goodbye, I ran out of the door completely ignoring Michella in the way.

I still didn't know why she was here or how she planned on staying but I honestly didn't care.We hadn't talked at all just giving each other our typical frigid looks before moving on.

I manage to make it to school in the nick of time half-running half power walking.

I actually pumped my fist in the air when I saw that I reached at exactly 8:59.

Achievement Unlocked.

The day went off pretty normally from there. Nowadays that meant lost of staring, pointing and whispering along with a daily visit from Sally Timberlake in order to squeeze out something or the other out of me.

I had my lunch peacefully in the library and was all set to go home at the end if the day when Rebecca cornered me.

"Football championships Quarter Finals today." She says smiling,"And it's happening right here, please tell me you'll come."

I give her a look.

"Oh come on!" She says,"The whole school is going to be there why can't you come to?"

Because I physically want to puke everytime either of them take a hit.

Well at least Jake wasn't going to be playing and Alec... He had enough people protecting him.

"I'm fine Bex." I say,"I'm tired too and-"

"Oh please we both know you're just going to go home and get drunk." She says rolling her eyes.

"H-How do you-" I start to stutter but she before I can finish she takes out a bottle from her bag that looks exactly like mine.

"It's because I switch your bottle during Calculus since this Tuesday." She says grinning,"What you're currently thinking is alcohol is actually a very clever mix of water along with some food colouring and vinegar."

"I love you and all, just the way you are." She says,"But I can't have my best friend with alcohol breath all the time and being even clumsier than usual."

Meaning: You're welcome. I just stopped you from being a moron.

I couldn't even get myself drunk properly.

I stare at her gape mouthed for two seconds before I start grinning. I may have been hiding things from her but I realised that I was wrong.

I was wrong when I said that there was no one left to care because my best friend added food colouring and vinegar to water just so that I didn't go completely out of control.

"Jeez Bex and here I thought I was on my way to becoming a human brewery I'm just going to have to start over now."

She rolls her eyes,"We both know I'm not going to let you. With all your shit that I can't do anything without either being drunk, I'm just trying to prove that this helplessness of yours is all in your mind-"

Before she can finish I hug her smiling so widely that I would probably get stretch marks on my face. Rebecca stands awkwardly for a second before patting my back.

"Thank you." I say. Thank you for still caring.

"Yes I know I'm awesome and you love me." She says,"So now you can come to the game with me?"

"You're not giving me a choice are you?" I say the smile still on. She smiles with me and rolls her eyes,"It's cute you think you that's not a rhetorical question."

"Fine lead the way." I say but she doesn't move.

"Before we go I should tell you though Jake's playing today."

My eyes narrow,"He's doing what?"

She shrugs but there is a twinkle behind her eyes,"If you didn't lock yourself in the library during lunch and convince yourself."

"But he just got out of the hospital days ago and he was in an accident for the love of god." I say,"He can't have gotten cleared, even Alec had to sit out last weeks game."

Rebecca simply shrugs again.

"He's being an idiot again." I mutter as we start walking towards the football field.

We walk quietly for about two second before I make a decision which i knew I was going to make the second she told me what Jake was about to do.

"I can't let him do this." I gulp,"He's being totally stupid. I need to-"

"First left." She interrupts.

And I raise an eyebrow,"Huh?"

"The boys locker room." She says innocently,"I suppose that's where he'll be right now."

I stare at her not willing to voice out my other query but before I can she adds,"And since the game starts in ten minutes I can make a pretty safe bet that a certain blonde haired captain will be on the field already."

It's like she can read my mind.

"I'll be waiting on the bleachers." She says before walking ahead whistling nonchalantly.

It takes me a second to jump into action and as per Rebecca's instructions take the first left.

It's undoubtedly the way to the boys locker room, the smell of old gym socks heavy in the air.

I hesitate for a second in front of the door, contemplating over wether to actually go through with this or not.

If I can handle seeing him again.

But the second after that I realise just what an idiot he's being right now and I press my palms flat on the door before swinging it open.

Describing the boys locker room in one word is easy: messy.

The guys inside are fooling around throwing things at eachother until one of them finally spots me and starts gaping at me as if he's never seen a girl.

Well he probably had never seen a girl in the boys locker room.

I ignore them and start making my way inside. It's arranged similarly to the girls locker room, all our lockers assigned to us in alphabetical order according to our surnames.

A boy steps into my way blocking me from going ahead. He's probably a sophomore and he grins crookedly at me,"So where are you from? Heaven?"

My mouth drops open in surprise and I can't believe that the guy actually has the nerve to hit on me right now. I'm about to come up with an appropriate response such as fuck off or a punch-

"Yup, she's a ghost and she died fifteen years ago along with that pick up line." Jake says leaning against one of the lockers looking dangerously at the boy.

Looking at him standing easily, his black hair artfully messy on his head and his intense green eyes makes me feel like I've been hit by a truck. I realise just how much I've missed him.

"Whittemore, shouldn't you be on the field warming up?" Jake continues staring down at the boy.

The boy looks positively terrified as he manages to stammer,"I-I'm not playing."

Jake raises an eyebrow,"So?"

The boy yelps into action immediately followed by all the others and pretty soon we are left alone in the locker room.

He's about to say something but before he can i start,"Please tell me that you're not actually playing today."

"Why does it matter?"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I ask,"You were in an accident two weeks back. An accident where you could have almost died and-"

"Well it's my problem isn't it?"

I narrow my eyes,"Well excuse me if I don't want you to kill yourself over a stupid game. It's being totally idiotic."

His eyes narrow and they become as cold and hard as ever," Like you're not doing the same thing by practically ignoring everybody and drowning yourself alcohol."

I raise an eyebrow,"Im not drowning myself in anything,"I say,"And how did you-"

"Oh don't bullshit me Clara, I know about the damn frat party where you were so drunk you could barely stand and the stupid bottle you keep. I don't know if you've noticed but you can barely hold yourself upright without leaning on something."

I notice with a start that I was heavily leaning on a bench.

I roll my eyes,"It was one night I say and Rebecca has been switching the contents of the bottle-"

"I know. I asked her to do that." He says dismissively.

"But that's not the point. It's the fact that how could you even think of behaving so stupidly Clara. Its-"

"There is a difference." I say,"I wasn't in a godamn accident where I almost died and, and-"

I falter looking elsewhere.

"Hey." He says softly lifting my chin up with his fingers so I look up at him,"Im fine."

"Then why are you being so stupid right now? " I ask,"Do you really hate me that much that you're going to put me through this? "

"I'm a big boy Clara." He says,"I can handle myself. After all its just a stupid game according to you anyway, it's shouldnt-"

"Its a stupid game because people can get hurt." I say,"And you're still recovering. You can't just-"

I take a deep breath in and he laughs,"You're acting like I'm going to war. Not a high school football game."

"This is not funny Jake." I say,"Can you just stop being such an idiot for one second and just sit on the sidelines for once."

"I'll be fine." He says.

"Why are you taking the risk?" I plead,"I'm pretty sure the doctor could not have cleared you for this."

"Car, I'm going to be fine." He says threading one of his fingers through my hair. We stay there frozen for a minute before he pulls back and exits without another word.

I stare after him wordlessly before finally collapsing into the bench with my face in my palms. He was being so damn dumb.

It was one tiny game, I'm sure the team was strong enough to hold out on their own without him.

"Clara?" I raise my head up to look at Jeremy who was standing unsurely in front of me.

"H-Hi." I say awkwardly as I scramble to get up almost tripping on my face in the process.

"Are you alright?" He asks with the same careful tone and I nod.

"Yeah-Yeah I'm fine." I say and then an idea comes up. Jeremy was the vice captain right?

"Can you bench Jake for the game?" I ask him,"The accident and-"

"I'm sorry." He cuts me off,"I can't. We probably won't stand a chance without him."

I raise an eyebrow. Was Jake really that good? I knew Alec was and If I had it my way I'd have them both benched but I knew I couldn't.

"It's just that Kevin who is the linebacker." Jeremy starts to say and I scrunch my eyebrows, trying to place the name.

Oh right Kevin.
Wrestling team Kevin.
The asshole Jake got into a fight with before our Christmas break and the guy who had purposely thrown a football at me. The asshole who had purposely thrown the last game.

"-he's good but he tends to let his temper get in the way." Jeremy continues,"He and Jake aren't on the best of the terms and he often screws up delibritely which costs both of them big. Coach can't substitute him because no one can handle that position very well. And if Jake doesn't play then Alec will be down in a matter of seconds."

"Why do Jake and Kevin not get along?" I ask carefuly.

"Oh you don't know?" Jeremy asks looking surprised,"It's because of you."

Authors Note:
I seriously need to fix this chapter so that it makes more sense.

Chapter 57 has been posted.