Chapter 45

Wes's POV

Growing up I always thought of my dad as a superhero; nothing could hurt him or weaken him. He was always this large, strong man who could with stand any pain and suck it up. I remember once when we vacationed in Italy we were walking the streets of Rome, scooters zipped up and down the streets missing pedestrians by inches. I remember clutching on to my dad's hand for dear life as he maneuvered both Anna and I through the traffic as Marbella and my mom followed close behind. At the moment I thought we were going to get run over and judging by my mom's doe like eyes she had the same fear but not my dad, he strutted through traffic as it he was taking a late afternoon stroll in Central Park.

During my childhood that was my image of my dad, a strong man who never cracked on the face of anything but my image of my dad shattered the day my mom died. No more was the man who laughed at everything and saw the silver lining in every situation, gone was the man who made us peppermint flavored maple syrup on Christmas morning and in replace was a empty shell of a man who saw the world in gray. I knew my parents loved each other and that my dad especially loved my mom but never would I have thought that he would shut down the way he did after her death. It wasn't just a brief depression like the many doctors informed us, it was like part of my dad died when my mom did. I know it's impossible and doctors have discouraged this idea but my sisters and I think he grew sick from a broken heart.

Now standing by my dad I realized this wasn't the man I grew up with but a shadow of him, my dad would lay down and let this sickness eat away at him. No, my dad -the one who once told me weakness was all in ones head- would have laughed at the doctor when he diagnosed him and walked out if this hospital shaking his head and mumbling about how doctors are dumb folks with too much knowledge. But the man in front of me stared aimlessly at the television hanging from the wall, mouth slightly parted.

Earlier the doctor gave the all clear for us to take him home and removed all the tubes from his body and unplugged all the machines. He recommended a stay at home nurse I quickly declined and offered to watch him myself for a few weeks. A day wore me out but at least then I would have something to distract me from the situation with Khloe, besides I brought a carry on full of clothing to Marbella's house earlier.

If things were different I would have asked my dad for advice about Khloe and this relationship, if it can even be labeled as one. Knowing him he would say to snatch her up before another idiot comes along and snatches her or tell me to walk away, there is more girls out there waiting to be swept off their feet. The corners of my mouth lifted as I thought of my dad's expression after hearing a girl didn't want anything serious, he would howl with laughter and call me a moron for saying the 'L' word first.

"Why is this thing so high up?" my dad mumbled to himself "I told Joey to keep the damn tv low." he added with shake if his head

"He'll come by later and fix it." I lied wondering if he even recognized me

He nodded his head, the white hairs shaking as he leaned his head against the pillows behind his head "Tell your sister to come with him, I haven't seen her in a while."

Nodding, I shoved my hands into my pockets too exhausted by this past week to fall along with this lie. I've spent six of those seven days here, the day I brought Khloe home was my only break from this and the afternoon in bed was a bittersweet moment for me. Holding her, forgetting about the problems between us and the problems awaiting us outside of her bedroom. Even if it was only a few hours it was enough for me but as I looked down at the clothed beauty snuggling against my chest I felt a pang of disappointment recalling the promise I made her despite my better judgement. She needs time to figure things out but I feel like Khloe will drag this out for as long as she can and the thought saddens me, I have to keep my word and back off for a bit and staying away was the only way I knew I wouldn't demand an answer again. It was killing me but I had to give her this last chance to settle all her fears and emotions.

"Wes."

Shaking my head I turned my attention to my dad who studied me like a curious child "What is it?" I asked as I made my way over to his bedside

Reaching his hand out he placed his frail, trembling hand over mine "I don't want you to be alone son, your sisters have found happiness and I want the same for you."

"I have found happiness, dad." I assured him

His thin pink lips spread into a soft smile "Your grandma Teresa use to say a woman's smile reveals her mood and a man's eyes reflect his and you my boy look miserable."

Offering him a smile of my own I placed my free hand over his and squeezed his frail hands. I still can't wrap my mind around how soft he has gotten over such a short span of time.

"I'm happy." I repeated and kissed the top of his head

He pursed his lips in disbelief but didn't press on much to my relief. Patting the top of his hand I stood up to my full height and released a gust of air from my mouth "The nurse should bring the last of the papers in here so we can get you back home."

"Good, I've always hated visiting your mother's family." he grumbled and leaned back against the pillows, eyes drooping with sleep

I couldn't help but chuckle in response. My dad loathed my grandparents especially when we spent the holidays with them, by the time we left my dad was pulling chunks of his hair out of his head. For him to think the hospital was their home was quite amusing, even when delirious he remembers his strong hate for them.

There was soft knock on the door as the nurse entered with the final papers I had to sign to get my dad out of this place and back where he was more comfortable and familiar with. Taking the clipboard I scribbled my signature across the lines marked with an three x's.

"Don't worry dad we won't stay here any longer." I laughed

"I miss your mom." he sighed heavily

Sighing, I lifted the pen off the clipboard "Me too." I added with a heavy heart, at a difficult time like this my mom would know exactly what to say to keep everyone smiling despite the sadness around us.

"Remember to give him his pills on time and bring him here on Friday for a quick check up." the nurse reminded me as she took the clipboard back

"Will do." I nodded and turned towards my dad who was fast a sleep

Shaking my head I placed my hand on his knee and gave him a gentle shake, I don't understand how he can fall a sleep so quickly. One minute he's talking and the next he's snoring, what I wouldn't give to be able to do the same.

"Dad, wake up. We're leaving."

When he didn't stir I frowned "Dad?"

His features remained neutral, not even a twitch of his eyebrows. Fear gripped my heart when I scanned his body and saw his chest still, no indication that he is breathing.

Shaking him more forcefully I ignored the nurse who ran over to the bed searching for a pulse "Dad!"

"I need a crash cart!" she shouted as she pressed her fingers against the non-existing pulse

In seconds two nurses rushed in with a doctor close behind them as I shook his body when a pair of arms pulled me backwards as three other doctors rushed in followed by other nurses and faculty who tugged at my arms. Struggling against the unknown arms I found my dad's lifeless body behind blocked by a shield of men and women in blue and white.

"Sir, please calm down we will do all we can for your father but we need you to let us." A male nurse said as he gently yet firmly dragged me out to the hall

Shaking the arms off of me I felt my heart sink when the door closed behind me, the loud slamming of the door echoed in my ears like the bell on a church tower. Fearful I watched through the square window as the medical staff hovered over my dad as they reattached the machines to his body, the heart monitor being the first. The long and slow paced beeps of his heart beat didn't reassure my growing fear as the doctor checked his eyes for a response.

"Wes."

Turning on my heels I had to swallow past the lump in my throat as Anna walked over to where I stood, the smile she had on faded as her eyes traveled to the window behind me. Standing at my side she placed a hand over her mouth as she took in the sight before her "What happened?" she whispered

I wanted to answer but I don't even understand what happened myself. She placed her smaller hand on my shoulder meant to assure me that she was here too but I felt more alone than ever as I watched the doctor's shoulders slump, the flat line of the heart monitor rang in my ears drowning out all sounds and paralyzing me in place. Body heavy with shock I felt Anna's hand tighten over my shoulder as she turned her gaze back to our dad.

The doctors and nurses stepped back with grim expressions. He's fine, I told myself although I knew it was a lie. Balling my fists and I watched unblinkingly as one doctor glanced down at his watch and the other pulled the white sheet over his head.

"No. He can't be...." Anna trailed off as quite sobs shook her body

Turning towards my sister I felt my heart sink like a rock tossed into a lake, pulling her trembling body against my chest I felt her immediately give in as her cries grew louder. In a state of shock I looked at the still body under the white sheet, unable to wrap my mind around how quickly it happened. He was speaking one minute and then the next he... I couldn't finish the thought. My mind wouldn't make sense of what just happened or what was going on, it was like it froze mid thought. It was as if my whole body froze as the reality of the situation sunk in.

Emotions ran through me like water down a stream, neither of them sticking long enough that I felt anything other then the shock. Even as I held Anna I didn't feel the black sadness that comes with losing a person you love or even a twitch of sadness for that matter. There was no tears or the occasional watering of the eyes, I felt nothing.

Anna's arms tightened around my neck as a voice sounded from behind her. Dragging my eyes up I met Carrie's puzzled stare as she came closer to where we stood "What are you guys doing? Dominic is waiting out front for-" She paused mid-sentence as she took in my expression, her brows knitted together as she took a few steps forward while her gaze never wavered.

"What's wrong Anna?" she asked causing our older sister to tighten her hold around my neck, an action that didn't slip by Carrie's watchful eye

"Where's dad?" she asked as she started toward his room

"Carrie don't."

Gently pushing Anna to my side she continued to cry against my shoulder as I reached out to grab Carrie's hand before she could turn the knob but I couldn't stop her from peeking through the window. All color drained from her face as a deep gasp tore from her lips, her soft blue eyes widened to double their size.

"No, no, no, no." Carrie whispered under her breath and whipped around, her soft navy eyes searched mine for the answer both she and I wanted to hear but couldn't give. Reality slammed hard against my little sister as tears brimmed her eyes "He was suppose to come home today." she croaked

Lifting her head off my shoulder Anna sniffled as she watched Carrie shake her blonde head furiously "We were going to cook his favorite meals and take him to the restaurant tonight, he can't..."

She paused at the word die, unable to speak the three letter word out loud.

No longer able to stand and watch my younger sister I slid my arm around her shoulder when Carrie threw her arms around my neck. Her loud sobs were muffled as she buried her face in my chest. Swallowing past the lump in my throat I rubbed her shaking back, Carrie of course would take this the hardest. She grew up without a father and when she finally understood what was going on she had to watch the father figure she missed out on act as a child think she is his wife. It was unavoidable that my dad would mistaken Carrie for our mom and fall back into a young memory of when they first fell in love and Carrie had to watch our dad's crushed expression as she explains that she isn't his wife. Her heart took too many lashes when it came to our dad and it was all my fault.

"I'm sorry Carrie." I muttered against her hair

"It's not fair." Carrie cried and shook her head

Anna stroked the top of Carrie 's head as her own cries still racked her body "I know honey but we knew this day would come."

Lifting my gaze up I met Anna's glassy stare, the sorrow and loss swimming in her eyes felt like a sucker punch in the gut. "Its not your fault." she mouthed

Rather than respond or argue with her I turned my attention back to Carrie who continued to mumble to herself random nonsense. Stroking her back I squeezed my eyes shut hoping to drown out the cries of my younger sister and ignore the worried stare Anna gave me.

I just want to drown everything out.

Khloe's POV

Brushing the non existing wrinkles of my knee length red cocktail dress I ignored the curious stares of the seamstress I recognized from a week ago when I boldly punched my sister and attempted to crush her fiancée's balls. I wasn't embarrassed or even regretting my actions but I am trying to play it off, there was no need to add more controversy to my name or my connection to Greg. I'm not letting what they did go that easy either, oh no I plan to hold a grudge for as long as this sham continues. Hence why I am attending the rehearsal dinner at the hotel tonight. My mother has given me two work visits to remind me my presence was mandatory and no childish behavior would be tolerated, whilst my dear conniving sister has been quiet this whole time.

My guess is she is worried about the amount of dirt I have on her and the leverage I now hold. I plan on using her fear during this sham of a wedding and make this the worst day of her spoiled life.

"Ms. Sparks, the rest of your family is awaiting your arrival." a man dressed in a very expensive suit greeted me instantly as he held the door open

Offering a plastic smile I thanked him and went in. The soft music playing around the champagne decorated room was an elegant, soft rhythms that favored both older and younger guests. Sauntering further through the large ballroom like area I offer smiles to the family members I recognized amongst the crowd of people, they seemed shocked to see me smiling and present since the lat I saw some of these people was when I opened the closet door and found Greg and Stacy tangled together. I'm betting they didn't expect me to attend as did many others but that was the point in why I came tonight, to prove I had no attachment to any of this anymore.

Spotting the happy couple and my parents I lifted my chin and prepared myself for what was to come. Making my way over I caught Stacy's gaze first, her emerald eyes widened when she realized it was me. I had to admit the makeup artist did a wonderful job in hiding the discoloration and you could barely notice the swelling at the bridge of her nose of course the makeup was caked on heavily you could carve your name in her cheek. Dressed in a thigh high golden halter dress Stacy looked very much the model she is, leaving her long legs on display and her silicone cleavage out for all to see, her long red locks was pulled up into a high bun with loose curls hanging down, adding attention to her bare throat. Greg wore a champagne colored suit that made look like the lawman he so desperately wanted to come off as.

"Congratulations." I spoke up when I reached the small group

Stacy gave a small nod and quickly turned away whilst Greg avoided eye contact like the coward I always knew he was, he can't even meet my stare after what he's done. I smiled inwardly when my mother eyed the couple suspiciously, she knew something wasn't right but didn't probe further as she turned to greet me with that ridiculous air kiss. The silver short sleeved dress she wore clung to her every curve and proved why my mother was a well known model who managed to stay in shape years after retiring. Her long, slender figure could put any young fit woman slouch in shame when standing beside her.

"I'm glad you arrived and I trust you'll behave." she whispered for my ears only

Pulling back I smirked at Stacy who still avoided my gaze like I'd pounce on her like a wild animal "Don't I always?" I replied

Grunting in response my mother moved aside allowing my father to step forward. He parted his arms as a award winning smile spread along his mouth, the same smile he offered during elections "How are you honey?"

It took all my strength not to puke all over his sleek black Armani suit. Giving him a curd nod I didn't bother with a smile as I responded in a deadpan tone "I'm good."

He couldn't expect me to forget our last encounter and I sure wasn't letting him off the hook for willingly wanting to work with Tyler knowing what the bastard has done to me. I've allowed many things to slip by me in the past when it came to my father but no more.

His smile flattered as his arms fell to his side when I didn't greet him or return the question and that was because I couldn't careless if he was fine or not.

Turning away from his enraged expression I pretended as if I didn't see my mother staring between my father and I, trying to figure out what was going on. Instead I focused my attention on the squirming couple.

"You two must be excited that the wedding is tomorrow and you can finally complete the last stage of your love."

Stacy turned to me with a look of bewilderment as Greg sneaked small looks from beneath his eyelashes. I wanted so desperately to whip my phone out and capture the looks on their faces but that would give me away and I didn't want this game to end so soon, not when I have more time to mess with them. Composing my expression I plastered the smile I was taught to at a young age.

"I mean how romantic is for you to honeymoon in Milan?"

"Oh no honey, they aren't going to Milan. Dawn Summers is postponing the fashion show due to a mix up in her designs so Greg came up with the idea that we can have a small family vacation in Paris. Isn't that wonderful?"

"A family vacation?" I asked

"Yes, both close members of your sister's and Greg's family will be going."

Turning toward Greg I arched my brow "Wouldn't that ruin your honeymoon?"

He cleared his throat and shook his head, his eyes wavering between me and my mother who despite her smile was still trying to figure out what was going on.

"Stacy and I agreed to spend the special moment with family while we still have time."

The uncertainty in his voice didn't go unnoticed as he answered but I must admit his answer would make any sly politician proud. It was worded perfectly that you would be convinced that he really meant it and had I not known the truth I would have considered he was telling the truth. Maybe Greg wanted to let loose in the city of love with a few French men while Stacy got acquainted with too many locals. It would benefit both of them if they had the excuse of family and it would sound good in the press for Greg especially with the election around the corner.

"It's going to be so exciting to return to the city of amor." my mother squealed excitedly "I've reserved tickets for us all."

"Us?"

Her smile flattered "I wasn't aware you no longer counted as family."

"And I wasn't aware you make all the decisions in my life." I snapped back

Pressing her lips together my mother spared a quick glance around us, making sure we hadn't grabbed any unnecessary attention. More rumors spreading around would not be good for the Sparks family that's for sure.

"This is a family event Khloe Sparks and I expect you to attend, I'll send the details to your assistant and meet you at the airport the day after the wedding." she said in a stern voice that left no room for arguing

"Of course you except that." I replied dryly

"Mother it's not necessary. If Khloe doesn't want to come-"

"No, this is a family event." my mother barked interrupting Stacy who was taken back by her sudden outburst

Chest heaving, my mother turned to me with narrowed eyes that warned me not to speak another word about this and that I had no choice in the matter. Clamping my mouth shut I turned on my heels without a word or an excuse and made a beeline for the bar, a drink was definitely going to be in the forecast for the next few days.

"Red wine- actually make that a shot." I corrected

The bartender raised a brow and nodded with a sneaky smile that told me he has seen enough of these snobs to know the only way to survive parties like this is tipsy. Taking a seat on the velvet stool I was given my drink in record time much to my relief, grabbing the glass I tossed my head back and downed the clear liquid. Wincing at the burn in my throat I slid the glass back to the amused looking bartender.

"I didn't realize you were a fan of vodka."

Gritting my teeth I wondered why he of all people came after me "It's a good way to deal with you people." I spat darkly

My father chuckled as he took the seat beside me "Another round for my daughter and I." he ordered

Twisting my mouth to the side I turned in his direction suspicious as to why he was eating here. My father wasn't a man who cared for anyone but himself so this sudden 'caring father' act wasn't fooling me but I was clueless to his real reason behind why he followed me. Our drinks were given to us but I didn't down this one down like the first and my father noticed this as well.

Sighing he lowered his glass "Can a father have a drink with his daughter?"

"Of course, but you don't really fit in that category." I narrowed my eyes at him "What do you really want?"

"Blunt, aren't we?" he laughed humorlessly

Remaining passive I awaited his response curious to see if he was going to fess up or let the crooked politician in him do the talking. His laughter ceased as he realized I was in no mood for his games. Clearing his throat he lifted his glass to his lips and took a small sip mainly to buy himself time.

"Why are you working with Tyler?"

He coughed on his drink as the words tumbled from my lips before I had the chance to rethink my question over. Wheezing he leaned forward, back hunched as I at and watched him with a single concern that he was actually choking. After a moment he managed to breath correctly as his coughing stopped, straightening his posture he brushed his hand over his silk tie as he lifted his chin up.

"Where did a question like that come from?"

"Don't try that with me." I said and narrowed my eyes to slits "I know you invited the Reynolds to the wedding for your charity so don't try denying it. I want to know why?"

He pressed his lips into a firm line debating on whether he should own up to it or continue dodging my questions but he was the one who taught me to never back down when it comes to situations like this.

"I'm guessing Aaron told you."

"It doesn't matter who told me, what matters is why?"

Snorting he took a sip of his drink "The same reason I took that douche Greg as my partner in the park project, the moron needed my help and I wasn't going to help him without getting anything out of it."

Shifting in my seat, I wasn't too sure I'd like what he was going to say but I had to know. Motioning for him to continue I prepared myself for what was to come.

Sighing he glanced over his shoulder before making sure the bartender was a safe distance away. When he was satisfied with our privacy he leaned towards me in what I presumed was paranoia, whatever it was I leaned towards him despite the voice in my head that said it wasn't necessary for me to know the reason behind his partnership with Tyler.

"Despite what you think I didn't go to him, he came to me. During one of my stays in L.A. I bumped into him at a party I attended and he approached me. He told me about his idea to create his own production company, I thought he wanted me to help him with his company but he didn't need money. What he wanted was for me to speak to you about meeting him."

Lifting my head I felt a twinge of disappointment although I knew my father would do something like this without worrying about how I'd feel "And you agreed."

"At first no but he said he'd help me with my projects and put in a good word with some friends in high places that could help me in sticky situations."

Clenching and unclenching my jaw I held back the bitter response bubbling on my tongue, knowing it wouldn't stop with just one bitter response at the moment. Twisting forward I wasn't surprised to see him sipping his drink as if he didn't just confess to betraying me. His daughter. His own flesh and blood.

"If he didn't want money what did he want?" I asked still facing forward

"Well.." he paused to take a sip of his drink "He wanted me to help him find a way to get back into your life and have a chance at rekindling your relationship. I asked why he suddenly wanted to fix the relationship after all these years and he said..."

When my father didn't finish I tilted my head in his direction curious as to why he stopped "What did he say?"

He lifted the glass to his thin lips and swung the rest of his drink down, he hissed as he slammed the glass down and signaled for the bartender for a refill. "He said that having you with him would create enough publicity for his company to get a good jump start, that your a horseshoe when it comes to success."

As the words left his lips I felt my heart sink as my father; the man who's blood runs through my veins confessed to agreeing to help my ex -who broke me before his very eyes- with his company by literally selling me like a chunk of meat. Anger surged through my veins, like a stream of lava burning through out my body as I clenched my fists on my lap. Both anger and disappointment swirled in my belly, wrestling for control as I tried swallowing the truth he's thrown my way. Disgust out beat both emotions as I stared at him as he nursed his second drink, expression unreadable as if he hadn't just told me that he bargained me like a chip at a casino. A part of me was proud I didn't fall for Tyler especially now that I knew his agenda but knowing he was still playing the same games from high school, the very game that crushed me before definitely frightened me.

What if I had fallen for his charming ways? Would my father have warned me or just watch from the sidelines as Tyler destroys me again?

Nauseated by his lack of emotion after admitting to being insensitive I felt the uncontrollable urge to hit my father for the first time in my life and I wasn't trying to fight the urge either.

"Have you forgotten that Tyler is the same man who ten years ago took my virginity and put it on display like a banner? Or that he went to the tabloids with a bullshit story that I am frigid. Does the fact that he broke my heart and destroyed my self confidence mean nothing to you?" I asked in a hushed whisper, too wounded to raise it any higher

A quick flash of what I presume was guilt flashed in his shimmering emerald eyes, a brief glimpse at what he should feel at this moment "Of course I haven't forgot but you have to remember you were kids then and this is just business."

"Business?" I growled, finding my voice once again "These are my feelings we are talking about you selfish son of a bitch but I don't expect that to mean anything to you since you've had no problem trampling on my feelings before."

"Now that's not true." he denied

Baffled by his ability to deny that true fact I shook my head "You just admitted to agreeing to bringing my ex back into my life so he can use my personal success for his own selfish benefit knowing I already have a boyfriend. Yet you still want to sit here and deny that you don't care for my feelings?"

His emerald gems burned with anger and frustration "Tyler is a much better match than that trash you call a boyfriend."

"Wes is a better man than both of you. I hissed venomously "He would never hurt me in the way you or Tyler have because he genuinely cares for me but of course that small detail doesn't matter to you. If he's not rich or helping you then he's no good."

Leaning forward he pressed his lips together, his nostrils flared with the anger that simmered below the surface but my own anger could match his if not out beat it. Tilting my chin up stubbornly I refused to walk away from this fight, not when he's turned the attack towards Wes.

"That boy is nothing." he said through gritted teeth

"He means more to me than you." I spat as I stood to my feet

Following me, my father towered over me despite the four inch heels I wore. His skin had a red taint to it that revealed just how much this agitated him, his lips were in a firm line and his eyes burned with annoyance.

"You are a lousy excuse of a father and what you said tonight proves it."

"Don't you see I'm trying to help you." he barked catching a few bar goers attention

"No, you're only trying to help yourself and I'll be damned if I go along with this insanity."

His cheeks flushed a deeper red "You are an ungrateful little bitch who deserves nothing that I've done for you!" he hissed

"For me!" I shouted in disbelief as I pressed my hand across my bare chest "Everything has been for your own selfish gain and you know it."

Pointing his index finger out he stepped forward, expression darkening when my mother ran in front of him. Placing a hand on his chest she turned to face me with a look of concern that I thought was meant for me, that was until she spoke.

"You're making a scene." she muttered under her breath

Glancing around the room I wasn't to surprised to see a small crowd began to form around us, drinks in hand and cellphones on standby in case any juicy gossip were to accidentally slip out. Meeting each gawking eye I turned back to my mother who sent me a pleading look to save this argument for a more private moment, preferably one where or family members weren't awaiting the fists to fly which was still a possibility at this point.

My shoulders sagged as I realized I didn't want to make a scene either, I have enough buzz going around me to last a lifetime. Brushing a loose strand behind my ear I gave a small nod, coming tonight was a definite mistake and I've realized it a little too late. Collecting my purse I brushed past my mother who released a sigh of relief, I intend to return to my comfy apartment and dress in my baggy sweats as I pig out on fatty ice cream.

"Walking away again Khloe, no surprise there." my father sneered as I reached him

Twisting from the waist I flashed him a knowing smile "Fück off asshole."

The loud gasps that tore through the room were enough to make you think I've committed some unspeakable crime as mindless chatter started around the room. My mother looked horrified as I tossed my blonde hair over my shoulder, not bothering to give those snobs another minute of my time.

I was done with this shìt.

Head held high, shoulders straight I strolled out of the hotel without a second glance. As I broke through the front doors of the hotel I sucked in a deep breath of the early evening air, feeling a sense of freedom as I walked away from the chaos I came from. I've never spoke back to my father let alone told him to fück off but I must admit it felt good, better than good it felt amazing! All my life I've allowed him to dictate my life and criticize my personal decisions but no more. I'm done taking orders from my father and that it includes his constant quarrels with money.

Spotting a cab parked by the curb I raced towards it enjoying my luck tonight. As the cab pulled away from the hotel I noticed a familiar silver dress poking out if the grand front doors, her head swerved from side to side searching for me. I smiled inwardly when as my mother grew smaller in the back window as we drove further into the heart of Manhattan. The many lights sparkled like stars that have fallen from the sky as buildings whooshed by, the soft noise of car's beeping and chatter from pedestrians felt like an old song. The soft melody of the city life lulled me during the car ride and cleared my mind of any thoughts as I dozed off.

Waking to the sound if the cab driver's voice I paid him and stepped out. Half conscious I made my way through the front of my building and managed to make it to the elevator without difficulties, rubbing my eyes I was relieved when the steel doors opened on my floor. Using the wall for support I made my way to my door and fished my keys out of the small purse hanging off my wrist .

"Home sweet home." I sighed as I shut the door

Tossing my bag to the side I walked to my room with my hands reaching for the zipper on my dress, after a moment I had the skin tight dress pooling around my ankles. Kicking my heels off I crossed the room towards my dresser and pulled out an old concert T-shirt that I've taken out on special occasions or depressing ones and tonight definitely fit both categories. As I went to close the drawer a bright blue shirt caught my eye main because it was a man's. Collecting it in my hands I felt my heart sink as I realized who it belonged to, forgetting about the old T-shirt I took out I slipped the blue one on and sighed as the scent of musk and man filled my nostrils.

Sweeping my hair into a ponytail I fought off the tears brimming my eyes which made the task of cleaning my makeup off a difficult task but after a moment of struggling I managed to get back to natural.

Tip toeing into bed I forgot about my idea to splurge on junk as I hugged a pillow to my chest, not any old pillow either but the one Wes used when he slept over. To my shame I sucked in a deep breath and nearly cried as his fading smell met my nose. For the past ten days I've been hugging this pillow at night as I inhale what was left of his scent, wishing with all my heart that he would come knocking one of these days just so I can see his face again. I know I'm the one who asked for time but I didn't think space was apart of the deal. I miss Wes, like crazy.

Burying my face in the plush pillow I squeezed my eyes shut as the stinging of tears escaped down my cheeks. I miss his warmth, his smile, and I especially miss the deep rumble of his laugh. Biting my lip I knew I couldn't hold the waterworks back any longer and decided not to. I was still no closer to realizing what I want from him but at this point I don't care as long as he is still in my life. I need Wes like I need a reason to wake up in the morning. A sob tore from my lips as I ignored the pesky voice that told me that meant something, I was in no mood to 'figure' my feelings out. I just want to cry for the embrace of the man I yearned for right now and that's exactly what I did until sleep took over.

The sound of knocking woke me up the next morning when I would have rather stayed unconscious all day. Groaning I forced myself out of bed without bothering to straighten my nest of a hair and lazily strolled out. It was most likely my mother up early to scold me for making a scene at her precious party. Rubbing my eyes I swung the door open ready to tell her to go home and I'll see her tonight at the wedding but stopped short when I realized it wasn't my mother.

"Marbella?"