Someone had been in my house!

Despite the crazy night I'd had, this thought was the only one that kept surprising me. 

Someone. Had. Been. In. My. House. While I was sleeping! 

Surprised might not be the right word, though. After the months I'd been through, almost nothing surprised me anymore. But it certainly didn't make me feel safe, imagining someone standing over my bed like in a scene from "Scream" while I slept.

And then, there was the whole writing on the wall in blood thing of course. Which... ugh. Yeah, admittedly, that was rather alarming. Whatever.

I must have been really out of it not to notice. Looking back, I guess I was. The next day, as I cleared tables at Merlotte's, I tried to make sense of it all, unease still slithering down my spine, my senses on high alert. 

"You forgot the fries, sweetheart!" called an unfamiliar man, about fifty, twenty kilos overweight, in faded jeans and a white muscle shirt, as he tried to slap my butt.

I paused for a second, considering a response, but decided it wasn't worth the stress right now. Instead, I placed the burnt burgers in front of his buddies at the next table and ignored their complaints.

There was still no sign of Lafayette, who wouldn't have let the burgers burn in the first place. I wasn't surprised.  I had checked on him that morning before my shift to make sure he was okay, but even after loud knocking and shouting, he hadn't opened the door. I'd briefly considered entering his house to ensure he was still breathing, but when I heard his shuffling behind the door, I knew he just wanted to be left alone. So, I scribbled a quick note and slipped it under the door:

Lafayette,

I heard what happened. Let me know if you need help! My sweet ass is just a call away. 

Seriously. Call me!

Ash

All morning at work, I felt dirty. 

I blamed myself, at least partially, for Lafayette's state. If I hadn't poked the hornet's nest called Northman, they never would've noticed Lafayette, and he'd still be dancing happily through the restaurant, spreading glitter and love. I'd be blissfully numb, going about my job, not having dirty dreams where I was falling for my boyfriend's murderer—um, just dreaming of my boyfriend's murderer. No falling. 

Right on cue, the image came back.

Tom. In the elevator. Dead. Blood. And then the blissful light before darkness swallowed me whole. 

Would these images ever leave me?

A dirty dishcloth flew through the room coming straight for my face – I caught it just in time.

"Whoa, good reflexes!" Terry, busy burning the next batch of ground beef on the stove, shoved two more plates under my nose, looking slightly concerned. "I know that look you just had, you know. You were completely zoned out... Were you in a war I don't know about or something?"

I gave him a weak, fake smile, hoping it wouldn't fall short. 

"No, Terry. Just tired," I replied. He scrutinized me a bit more, then shrugged.

"Sorry, girl, I always see ghosts where there are none."

His face went blank before he shook it off and handed me two more plates piled high with burgers and fries. "Table 7!"

Grateful not to continue the conversation, I rushed off, focusing hard on not getting lost in my memories again. And then I noticed it.

I couldn't pinpoint what it was or where it came from, but something was different. The air crackled, and the patrons were shoveling—no, stuffing—their food in. Searching for the cause, I spun around, trying to tune everything out and concentrate on my senses. If you needed Sookie, she was, of course, nowhere to be found. Didn't she have a shift? I was probably just paranoid... Somehow—

"—which is why I urgently need a babysitter! You don't mind, do you, sweetheart?"

My head snapped up, where an insistent Arlene stood with her hands on her hips, waiting for an answer. What had she said? Since when were we talking? I refocused on my surroundings, with all the background noise hitting me at once. It must feel like this when someone turns their hearing aid back on. I winced.

"Yeah?"

Arlene grinned widely, handed me her notepad, and started untying her apron.

"Wonderful, God knows I owe you one!"

Before I realized what was happening, I was holding Arlene's apron, and she was out the door. Overwhelmed, I turned around.

"What just happened?"

Sam trotted through the doorway, heading behind the bar.

"You, dearest Ash, just got 'Arlened!'" he explained in passing, clearing some glasses off the bar.

"Arlened?" Was that even a word?

"Arlene guilt-tripped you into doing what she wanted, so now you get to babysit her kids."

My eyes widened. Babysit? I didn't even know what to do with kids when I was one. Kids were weird.

"Does she know who I am?" I squeaked. Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Does anyone?"

Touché.

"What about Sookie? Can't she watch Arlene's kids? She always does it!" I asked hopefully, but Sam shook his head.

"No can do. She called in sick this morning." Sam rolled his eyes.

"She's off on some secret vampire mission again. Probably for the big blond!"

Of course she was. And of course, that made me mad again, for reasons I choose to ignore. I huffed and ran my fingers through my hair."Damn."

Sam huffed too. "Yeah!"

Even though Merlotte's was bustling, I sat down across from Sam and laid my head on my folded arms. A blond strand of hair fell over my eyes, but I left it there and sighed. "Is it too early to drink?"

Sam glanced at a clock behind the bar.

"Depends on the circumstances..."

I closed my eyes and mumbled as I heard Sam working behind the bar.

"You do remember I'm your boss, right, Ash?"

"Hmm?"

God, the bar was comfortable. No wonder so many drunks regularly fell asleep here...

Sam pushed a fizzy, dark drink in a regular glass toward me. I took a big gulp.

"That's cola!" I noted with a grimace. "Where's the rum?"

Sam gave me a reproachful look.

"It's 1 PM, Ash. You can't start drinking now," he explained in an almost paternal tone. I groaned as I got up from the barstool. Sam placed a hand on my arm. I got a light, sizzling shock. Quickly, I pulled my arm away and rubbed the spot.

Sam looked at me, surprised.

"You know you can talk to me about whatever's bothering you, right?"

"About what?"

"Whatever's troubling you now." He pointed at my face and squinted slightly. "You may look fitter than usual, but your behavior gives you away. You're standing here like the next gust of wind could knock you over."

"I'm just not getting much sleep lately..."

Sam muttered something, but I felt it was best I didn't understand. Louder, he addressed me again, his hands on my shoulders. "As the king of bad decisions, I have one request: Don't do anything stupid, Ash, okay?"

I wanted to brush Sam off with a half-smile and a shrug, but his intense gaze brought a lump to my throat. I swallowed hard. When I spoke, my voice was barely a whisper."What if it's already too late?" I asked, unable to meet his eyes. When he didn't respond, I looked up. Sam smiled reassuringly.

"Then you do everything you can to work your way out of the mess you're in!"

His confidence in me touched me, and I sniffled. God, since when had I become so emotional? I wanted my protective walls back. My walls of anger and hatred that had shielded me from all these feelings. I quickly nodded to Sam, shook myself, and ran my hand through my hair.

"Alrighty, let's get back to serving the fine folks at Merlotte's."

I jolted awake, disheveled, from the uncomfortable couch. How quickly one can get used to luxury—it was unsettling. More confusing than the unfamiliar surroundings was the time.

It was bright outside, it was morning, and there was no sign of Arlene. I was still at her house. At some point, I must have fallen asleep on her couch. Struggling to get up, a spring jabbed uncomfortably into my side, making me grunt. Toby, Arlene's boy, sat wide-eyed in the kitchen. When he saw me, his eyes grew even wider.

"Mom's not back yet, is she?" he asked, resigned. Poor kid.

"Does this happen often?"

Toby shrugged. I was reminded of my own childhood, where we were sometimes left alone for weeks on end by some foster parents  with an empty fridge in the middle of nowhere. I was unable to live in a place, without stocking up on canned food since. I quickly shook off the dark memories.

"Come on, I'll make you breakfast!"

Thankfully, this fridge was full, so within my culinary limits, I whipped up omelets and pancakes. When Toby's sister joined us, we were already eating.

"Mom's not back yet?" she asked, frowning at me.

"I'm sure she'll come back soon!" I replied reassuringly. She shrugged.

"I know, she always does."

This isn't your problem, Ash. You've done what Arlene asked. The kids are clean and dressed, the fridge is stocked. Arlene is a good mother. Mostly. Don't burden the kids with your issues.

I wanted to stay out of it. Really. After breakfast, I put away the remaining dishes, but not before ensuring the kids had enough prepared food in the fridge for the next few days to heat up easily, just in case.

Just before I was about to call the police, a key turned in the lock.

Toby jumped up.

"Mom!"

From the hallway, I heard Arlene's hoarse voice.

"Goodness, Toby! Why are you up so early?!"

Stunned, I followed the kids into the hall. Arlene looked tired and exhausted. Her hair was sticking out in all directions, and she wore her blouse inside out. When Arlene saw me with wide eyes, my anger boiled over.

"Hey, you two, Mommy needs to talk to Ash for a moment. Say goodbye and go watch TV!"

The kids quickly waved to me and rushed into the living room, while I glared at Arlene.

"What the hell, Arlene?", I hissed.

She ducked her head. "I'm so sorry, Ash. I have no idea what happened!"

She ran her hand through her hair, pulling out a twig and staring at it, confused.

"You have two kids at home, Arlene, who depend on you! You can't just disappear without a trace all night." The more I spoke, the louder I got, working myself into a rage.

"I know, Ash, but I swear—"

I cut her off. "You swear what, Arlene? That it won't happen again? That it was a mistake and you don't know how it happened? That everything turned out okay?"

My blood continued to boil, and I felt hot. The hallway lights began to flicker.

"Well—yeah?" Arlene held her head. "God, please, Ash, talk quieter, my head is pounding!"

The light flickered more, and the bulb started to buzz. Then it popped, and the hall went dark. I took a deep breath. Whatever had changed in me in the last few days, I didn't want to risk hurting anyone.

In. Out. In. Out.

When I spoke again, my voice was calmer.

"Arlene, you should go take a shower. Your hair is wild, and your clothes, sweetheart, are inside out!"

Arlene looked down at herself, startled, and nodded meekly. "I swear to you, Ashley, I'm not usually like this!" she tried to explain again. I raised a hand to stop her, not wanting to argue anymore.

"I'll see you at work, Arlene!"

She understood that the conversation was over for me and trudged upstairs to the bathroom. As soon as she was gone, Toby peeked out from the living room with his big eyes. Something about his gaze reminded me of Tom at an earlier age, and my heart tightened.

A glance at the clock showed it was time to go, but as I held the doorknob, I hesitated. I sighed and turned back one last time. "Listen, I know everything's fine!" I nervously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before continuing. "But if you ever need my help, I live just two streets away!"

I fished an old note from my pocket and wrote my number on it.

"And if something does come up, you can call me on this number!"

Toby took the note and nodded. I nodded back, feeling a bit better, and left the house.