Immediately, we were surrounded by dim, murky red lights. 

"Cozy..." I muttered sarcastically.

Megs, whose name I remembered thanks to Pam, snorted in agreement. "Like in an S&M dungeon, what more could you want..."

I raised an eyebrow in her direction, which made her laugh before we reached the bar. As she raised her hand and ordered two bourbons, I looked around suspiciously. Everyone in this place seemed to be watching us. Especially the vampires. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. When I turned back to Megs and she also looked at me curiously, I glanced down at myself.

"HOLY SHIT, I'M WEARING MY PAJAMA PANTS!"

How could I have forgotten to change before rushing out? I was wearing my white, quite stretched-out sleep shirt (of course, without a bra underneath and quite transparent) with a gray ZIP hoodie with pockets over it, while my blue-and-white striped pajama pants hung over my ankles above my Chucks. A real party outfit...

Laughing, Megs handed me one of the bourbons we ordered, from which I took a big sip right away.

"Oh come on, if you're hanging out with vampires, you can't honestly be embarrassed by something like this. Last week someone dressed like Elvis himself walked through the bar..." she grinned crookedly, as if she had cracked a joke only she understood, before speaking more seriously "so you're not that interesting either!"

I tilted my head. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome! I'm always here to lift you up, as you can see. Or for gossip!" She lowered her voice. "And while we're on the subject, I'm quite curious."

Her eyes began to sparkle.

Oh, oh! 

"How's the Viking in bed? What 'man' could learn in 1000 years..." she mused.

I choked on my bourbon and started coughing as the hairs in my neck stood up again.  I turned and leaned forward towards the source of the uneasy feeling.

"Oh, he's exquisite! You should try him sometime!" Pam, who had appeared behind me, grinned broadly and looking me up and down. "Is that how people dress these days, huh?"

I raised my chin, but said nothing. The fact that she criticized my outfit instead of focusing on tearing me into small pieces annoyed me. And reminded me why I had come here in the first place. How on earth had I let myself get so distracted...?

"I want to see him!"

Pam merely raised an eyebrow and engaged in a staring contest with me, while I began to argue with myself internally.

And then I want to throw him to the ground!

Jump on him!

Choke him with my fingers around his neck!

He's a vampire, he doesn't breathe. Are you sure you're putting your fingers in the right place here? Try a little lower, beyond the belt line...

Stake him!

Nail him. Sweetie, you mean nail him!

"God, shut up!" I grunted, holding my buzzing head. What was going on with me lately?

Megs stared at me wide-eyed, while Pam nodded approvingly.

"Finally a true word. "God", that old geezer, should shut up!" Her gaze turned icy, while Megs amused herself with Pam's inability to let idioms slide and suppressed a laugh.

"Just like you! I don't know WHAT you've done-" she scrutinized me again, this time with exactly the same expression Eric always had (which made my heart beat faster despite herself) "but let me tell you one thing"

Whoosh.

Pam's face was so close to mine that if I puckered my lips, she would have kissed me. "If my Maker comes to harm because of you, even if it's just because he's distracted by you-" her teeth protruded and she leaned down to whisper in my ear, a tooth touching my earlobe and freezing me in place. "then I'll turn your skin into a new leather bag!" She leaned back, satisfied with my pale face thanks to her intimidation tactics, before placing an ever so timid kiss on my lips. I was flabbergast. 

Megs stared at us from her bar stool with wide eyes and a new drink with a straw, which she sucked on, complete engrossed in our show. 

"Have a nice evening, ladies!" Pam purred, then she was gone again. 

"This is better than the movies! And that was damn hot. Have you and her ever..?" She wiggled her eyebrows. I didn't react. I was still frozen in place but had to breathe a few times before I regained my composure.

Once again, Megs took a big sip, while I stood there with clenched fists and hot burning cheeks.

Oh yes, you're a dangerous, intimidating vampire hunter... And then you freeze at the threat of a 100-year-old Barbie.

Angrily, I barked at the bartender.

"Eric's office?"

He now looked at me too and licked his protruding teeth. Vampires really seemed to have never heard of manners...

"Mr. Northman's office is down the hallway to the left, next to the toilets..." I was already rushing off, while the vampire behind the bar called after me "-but he doesn't want to be disturbed!"

Big whoops. He also doesn't want to be murdered, yet that was my plan... somehow. Once again, my determination was slipping away. While the urge to get closer to Eric had grown with every step, my anger and hatred seemed to diminish with each step. Instead - God, instead I was almost looking forward to seeing him!

Megs also called something after me on the way to the office, but her voice was drowned out by the crowd.

I had no plan, no weapon and honestly not even really the intention to rip him apart... that was, until I burst through the door fuming only to find Eric enjoying himself between the legs of a Brazilian beauty, who was making noises I hadn't known women even made aside from porn. Her complete (naked) body was flushed, her face twisted in non-mistakable blissfluss agony, while Eric ate her out. A sight, that had immediately burned itself into my frontal lobe. 

"Waaa–"

I turned around starring at the ceiling, face flushed in embarressment. 

"Ash! What gives me the honor?"

While I was dying of embarrassment for the interruption, Eric didn't even seemed fazed. He voice was a delighted tone, as if we were merely meeting up for a cup of coffee or something. His behavior threw more off balance, especially when the sounds from before picked up. 

"Ehm..." Jesus, what were they doing. I felt flushed. 

Duh. I mean, they had Sex. Obviously undisturbed by my presence. But what kind of Sex were they having that emanated those kind of noises? Hiding myself behind my hands I turned back around, only peaking very carefully to make sure the woman was actually enjoying herself and not being torn apart by a predetor. The way her body was convulsing and her eyes were rolling inside her head, I was kind of hard to tell. 

She was either having the time of her life or auditioning for a role in "the Exorzist."

Eric watched me watch the woman with my eyes opened wide in shock, before winking at me. "You can join us, if you like." The way he licked his lower lip, where a bead of blood had collected while his eyes seemed to blaze in a bright blue, did weird things to me. My throat constricted as I tried to swallow. 

Again, I felt this pull emanating from Eric. A pull urging me to step closer, to just... be close to him. For a split second I didn't hesitate but actually smiled, stepping forward to get closer. Erics grin widened in delighted surprise.  

Oh God. What was I doing?

Was I burning? I was quite sure I felt like I was burning. Hard to tell if from shame or arousal.

"I'll wait outside." I mumbled breathlessly and basically jumped right out of the room. Outside I tried to cool down my burning face with my hands. 

"Oh god. Oh no. Oh shit, oh god."

I wasn't a prude. At least, I never thought of myself as one. Truly. 

But every now and then a shyness, a remnant from my childhood took hold of me and was able to set my face aflame. When something surprised me. When something took me off guard or just seemed to ... intimit. To raw. When something was to emotional. Usually I was good at hiding my feelings when I felt uncomfortable. Today, I just crashed and burned. 

The noises, exaggerated Sex noises, from Eric office got even louder. 

What the hell happened?, my inner critic bellowed.

Great, my inner voice was back scolding me, while I had some time to kill. It's not like I had enough on my plate as it was. 

Sighing inwardly, I answered said voice: Hate?

Yeah, you're totally gonna bone him at some point girl. Maybe you mean self loathing?

Harsh?

But not untrue, am I right?

No?

Yeah, I didn't even buy it myself. 

Girl, you needed to remember. Why are you here?

Remember? Remember what? Who? I shook my head, trying to break free from the fog clouding my memories. Pictures of Eric and his firm, naked butt kept interrupting my thought process. I swallowed thickly, feeling dizzy. 

Tom? Lafayette?

The fog keeping the memories at bay disappeared instantly, replacing images of Eric with dark and disturbing ones. Tom, all torns up and dismembered, laying in my arms, his blood dripping from the walls of the elevator onto me. I hadn't seen Lafayette but I imagined him a similar disarray, shuttering. Both people, people I loved, had been hurt by the man who was currently having a fuck fest behind the closed door while I was patiently waiting outside, contemplating my attraction to the man? 

Was I completely losing my shit these days? I was truly starting to scare me. Was he doing something to me to make me this... agreeable? It was as if ever negative thought or emotion I was having about Eric Northman was dissipating the moment I saw him. 

My anger from before flared once more as I turned the knob in my hand again, entering his room a second time, chin raised and head held high just in case. Another too close look at his physical appearance was something I didn't want to subject my self-control to. Eric was sitting, thankfully mostly in pants now. Low-slung, loose jeans that made your mouth water, but at least...

"Changed your mind?"

"That's not-" 

Don't get distracted, Ash.

I shook my head.

"Lafayette"

Eric sat shirtless behind his desk, with a smug grin, on which in underwear still lay the seemingly half-fainted woman. Her attempt to get up from the table was downright pathetic under her trembling limbs. While I still thought it was none of my business, I found myself already asking: "What did you do to her?"

You don't want to know!, warned me again my inner voice.

"Dinner!" was Eric's monosyllabic response, his gaze challenging me to delve further. It was obvious in this context that she must have been his dinner.

"Next time, offer your date something to eat or an orange juice, maybe then she'll get back on her feet!"

With determination, I reached into my sweater pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar, which I handed to the woman in front of me. She looked at the bar as if I were serving her snails.

"Her condition has nothing to do with low blood sugar," Eric smirked self-righteously. "although I may have been a bit too enthusiastic today..." He glanced at me again, at my chocolate bar in hand, and his smug grin became almost... cute. Or was it pitying? In any case, it seemed to amuse him. "Vamos, déjenos solos."

Although he still looked at me, since I didn't understand his words, I assumed he was addressing them to the woman. She looked at me indignantly before she gathered her sparse clothes from the floor and disappeared through the door on shaky legs and murderous heels.

As soon as we were alone in the room again, the air between us vibrated once more. The silence weighed heavily on me, and with each passing second as Eric continued to curiously examine me, my courage dwindled and my uncertainty grew. To avoid squirming under Eric's gaze, I broke the silence with the first thing that came to mind.

"Pam doesn't particularly like me."

Smooth move, Ash, really first-rate.

"Pam doesn't like anyone!" He continued to look at me curiously. "But that's not why you're here. You didn't dramatically burst in here to tattle on my child!", he raised a reproachful eyebrow "I hope. So what is it? Your friend," he tilted his head as if stumbling over the word friend "Lafayette, I've already handed over to Sookie's care, so I don't quite understand what prompted you to burst in here in a rage..."

Seriously?

I took a step forward and slammed my fist on his heavy wooden table. Slowly, almost bored, his gaze wandered from my face to my fist. Again, that raised eyebrow.

"Or maybe it does. Please be careful, Ashley, that's mahogany!"

Oh, mahogany? Did I have a pocket knife somewhere to carve into the expensive wood?

My skin felt like it was sparking and my eyes burned as my throat tightened.

"Wow, you really are caring that anger! Call me impressed."

Now I actually leaped over the table and grabbed him by his open shirt collar hanging open infront oh him, which didn't necessarily surprise him, but at least elicited a curious hum from him.

"If you tell me one more time how I feel, and I swear to God-" I didn't know how I wanted to finish the threat, but Eric interrupted me anyway in time.

"One more time?"

Oh crap.

In one effortless movement, he pulled me all the way over, still with sweaty handprints on the table, so that I landed less elegantly directly on his lap and swallowed heavily. He had me in under his power. Clearly and completely without effort on his part. Not good.

"What do you mean one more time?" Like two magnets getting too close, the pull was back again. Stronger, however, than before. I wanted to tell him what he wanted to know. Wanted to please him. Wanted him to like me. And so, against my will, it slipped out before I could stop it.

"Like last time."

I felt Eric underneath me, almost imperceptibly, sharply inhale the air. Unusual for someone who didn't need to breathe. His broad chest rose and fell under my hands, which had somehow landed on his chest , and under which I could now feel the muscles and strength emanating from him. From the faint hum that had prevailed between us, it became a louder buzzing. His grip on me tightened. Then it dawned on me. He was sniffing me.

"Like last time?", although he sounded bored and disinterested, I sensed that it was just a façade. That his interest in me was piqued. In my words and my body.

I sensed?

My attempt to wriggle free failed miserably. Vampire. Human. Difference in strength. All I achieved was to twist provocatively on his lap, which elicited benevolent noises from him, so I became still again, thinking.

I paused. Had he been weird when we last saw each other? Yes. But on the other hand, what did I really know about him? Maybe that was just his normal behavior? Once again, I pushed myself away from him and stood in front of him with arms crossed, feeling his penetrating gaze.

As he approached, he was all the threatening vampire I had once assessed him to be. I should have been afraid. Instead, I tensed my muscles to prevent myself from stepping towards him.

When he spoke now, I got goosebumps. Out of fear. I was almost relieved because of this fact. The attraction from before was too crazy.

"Yes, I locked Lafayette in my dungeon. For dealing in vampire blood. I'm the Sheriff, I have responsibilities," he stepped even closer to me. "-and no time for trivial human matters!"

Unusually, he became louder and more agitated with each word, which made me calmer and more composed, at least externally. Internally, I was boiling.

"You'll regret this!" I growled softly and wanted to turn away from him to make a dramatic exit. The situation was deadlocked, my cards were bad, and I was fuming. Suppose to be at least. Instead, with each second that passed, it was incredibly difficult for me to maintain my anger in his presence and continue to hate him, as long as this strong desire to please him and be near him persisted. I had to figure out what that was all about and reorganize myself. It was driving me crazy.

Eric reached for my arm to stop me from leaving, which finally caused the lid I had kept on the barrel for so long to pop open.

"Let go of me," I hissed, looking at my arm in his tight grip.

He only raised an eyebrow disdainfully.

"You won't leave until I allow it. You'll do as I say"

With any other sentence, my life could have continued more or less in its usual paths. Maybe I would have eventually found a way out of my situation and become happy. Satisfied. Average. But Eric chose the words that I had heard from various men in my life too often before they forced their will on me. From foster families, social workers, intrusive men, James, and now Eric.

Hot hatred shot through my veins as  sparks wavered along my skin before it began to glow. Eric's eyes widened before the glow moved to the spot on my arm where he still held me and his skin began to hiss against mine.

He pulled his hand away and cursed as I stared at him with equally surprised eyes. His hand, where he had grabbed me, was burnt.

His gaze darkened.

"What are you?"