I couldn't believe we were at this point: in secret, talking about one of the many things the Jedi Code had claimed forbidden. This felt so dangerous, even though the conversation was private. All it would take would be one wandering ear, and then we would get into serious trouble.

We hadn't shared a kiss after our shy confessions to one another, though the air would want to suggest that happened soon. We were both smoothing over the waves of shock that the other's words gave.

"What's wrong?" I asked Obi-Wan. He had a worried look in his blue eyes, which now worried me.

He looked around nervously, the sole Padawan braid moving in sync with his head. I'd always had the temptation to tug it just to irritate him. "Is this right, Thea?"

"Is what right?"

"Confessing this."

"I feel liberated, don't you?"

Judging by the uncomfortable look on his face, he was not. Yet, he said, "I do."

"Then why the look?"

"This is...this is a big deal, Thea. The Code—"

"Yes, I know all about the Code, Obi-Wan. You've recited it in my ear so many times I don't see why I haven't been reciting it out loud myself." I folded my arms over my chest. "Why is there hesitancy?" The Force around him felt anxious, so he couldn't lie to me that he was collected right now.

"You know why. Attachment is forbidden. I...I don't think I can walk away, Thea. I don't think I have it in me."

"We wouldn't have to leave, silly," I poked at him. "We could keep it a secret. Nobody has to know except us. After all, it's our business, nobody else's."

"I don't think I could live like that. Could you, Thea? Could you continue your training knowing that you've broken a rule? And what if it comes out that we are seeing each other? Our reputation, our goal, it would all be taken away from us."

I squinted. "Is your reputation more important than what we share, Obi-Wan? Because if so, your confession of love for me is a cruel, sadistic joke."

"You and becoming a Jedi are my priorities, Thea," he said sincerely. "I can't choose one over the other. But I can't have both, either. My moral compass doesn't feel stable."

I rolled my eyes. "This will be the least big risk of our lives, Obi-Wan!" I inched closer to him, trying to not bat my eyes and get things in my favor. "Let's try it for a short time. See how you feel about it. If it still bothers you, then we'll just...remain friends."

Obi-Wan didn't seem so happy either, hearing "remain friends" come out of my mouth. But what else was there to do? We wanted a relationship, and he still wanted to become a Jedi. He wouldn't give either up.

But he might, in the end. Both of us might. He's right, it's a scary risk. Our lives are at stake, metaphorically speaking. If we lose our status because of love...

I wasn't going to outright admit it to Obi-Wan, but, I was scared of the outcome of this, too.

*~*

I remember exactly how that little run worked out. Both of us, back to being friends, even though I knew I still wanted that with him. I still wanted to love him more than as a friend.

It's been almost twenty-four hours since Obi-Wan abruptly left the place. I know it's my fault, that I shooed him away. The prospect of opening that relationship door again spooked him too much. To say that Obi-Wan Kenobi has never been afraid of anything would be a lie; everyone is afraid of something.

Currently, I'm afraid of losing my best friend, all because of my stupid mouth.

I let myself cool off in the breezy night of Coruscant. I glance down from the balcony, feeling slightly queasy. If I don't notice them, heights don't bother me. When I'm standing still, just able to glance down...yeah, that's where it gets hairy for me.

My brows furrow, and I look up back to normal eye level as I feel a presence. It's...

He came back.

I'm not sure what to do, or say. Should I confront him? Owe him an apology? Demand one? Gosh, I feel so nervous right now, mostly because I'm trying to think of ways to not make a fool of myself in front of him.

When I turn around, he's there, silent. I watch him in the same silence, wary as he walks out onto the balcony with me. We keep eye contact, though the nerves in me tell me to look away.

"You came back," I finally murmur.

"I did," he says slowly.

"Why?"

"I needed time to think. Part of that was to think up an apology for my sudden departure. It was rude of me." He looks down, abashed.

"T-thank you." I clear my throat. "I-I should apologize, too, for what I said the other day. It...I brought up old wounds, and it clearly stung you, and I should have never opened the topic up. I'm sorry, Obi-Wan."

I hear him scoff, and he picks his head up. "You're apologizing for that?"

"Well, you took off...and I'm the reason why...so, yes, I'm apologizing for that. I'm sure you felt uncomfortable, and maybe pressured, who knows?"

"I did feel uncomfortable. I just needed time to think, someplace where I could think rationally without worrying about your eyes burning through my back."

I cock my head curiously. "And just what kept you occupied for almost a day?"

"Our old patterns." He steps forward. "I thought about our past, that conversation. I thought about last night. I thought about all the good, the bad, all the options we had out there for us. My mind was pretty busy. But, something became clear.

"That piece of me that loved you then, Thea, still does. It just...went away for a while, hibernating while other duties took over." I jump slightly, but don't look down, as he takes a hand in his. "We were still children when we first had this talk, we were discovering what we could and couldn't do. Now...I'm not saying that this is ideal—"

"Please finish up, Ben," I tease him, fake yawning, "you're boring me to sleep. You do that when you get into a speech-like state."

"I still love you, Thea Skywalker. And I know you still love me, too. I'm just as afraid of you are, with what I feel. But to try and bury it and lock it away...I can't do that. And I doubt you can, either. If you're willing, I'd like...I'd like to try and give this another go."

My mouth parts a little in surprise. I want to ask if he's kidding, but I think that might get the conversation in the opposite direction of where it's going now. "You're sure about this? Even with the risk it poses to you?"

Obi-Wan nods, his mane of hair bobbing slightly. I still remember the short-hair look, back in his Padawan days. Though, I don't think I miss that look. "I'm sure of it." Hesitantly, he puts his forehead against mine.

"If my brother catches wind of this, I doubt he'll ever let either of us live this down," I sigh.

"We can handle him if he ever does figure it out."

"Would you mind staying over tonight?"

He raises a brow. "At least take me to dinner first before bringing me to bed with you, Thea."

I give him a stunned look. "Y-you think that I—"

He bursts into laughter. "Relax, I'm only kidding. I know that's not what you mean. I know we won't be sharing a bed."

"Or will we?" I snicker, wiggling my brows. Now it's Ben's turn to look shocked and embarrassed. "I'm kidding!"

**So, if any of y'all aren't a fan of Benthea and you think that because of this Obi-Wan is gonna go out of character...

This relationship was the hardest to write, mostly due to Ben Kenobi. He's nowhere near like Anakin when it comes to that, but, he does have feelings, too.**