I'm sitting under the mango tree, its lovely shade protecting me from the sharp rays of the sun. Luckily, a soft breeze brushes her soft fingers over my skin, relieving me a little of the horrible heat of the mid-summer. It's during these days that the teachers make us play outside. And kabbadi? I suck at it. I'm the first one to go out.

It seems Kartik and his team are winning. The girl who goes for a raid is smoothly moving across the ground. Her focused eyes keep a watch on the members of the opposite team and in the blink of an eye, I see her slapping a shoulder and touching her toe with someone's nose before she comes back. A bunch of cheers roared in praise for the girl.

Kavya. That is her name.

Her smile is as bright as the moon on a dark night and warm as the sun like the one in the sky. Her hair is tied in a bun which comes loose now that she is playing. Over the years, I have seen how much she loves playing kabbadi and how she always makes her team win. The small rejoicing of Kavya's successful raid takes its leave when the opposite team's member takes its raid. 

She fixes her gaze, takes her stance, and is ready to pounce on the guy that enters. I had to suppress the laughter after seeing the guy hesitate to raid in. And Kavya is taking utmost advantage of it as she scares him by tapping her feet closer. When the boy's attention sways a bit, she knocks the guy down and eventually, each member is on top of that poor boy.

I smile at how small but feisty she can be. I wonder what she is like when she talks. What are her interests other than kabbadi? I remember hearing that she was one of the minister's daughters. Does that mean she is snobbish in nature or she is– what I'm expecting her to be– a kind, pretty soul?

"Hey," Kartik comes beside me, panting. "You lost again."

"You were just lucky to have Kavya on your team."

"Oh c'mon! Don't be jealous now." He bumps his arm against mine, lips stretched into a sneaky smile.

"What?"

"You wanted to be on her team, right?"

"No!" I push his grinning face to the other side. But retreat my hand because his skin is slick with sweat. "Yucks, you're so sweaty."

"You're crushing on her for too long. Just go and talk."

Kavya is in the other class, class A, which is why I never had a chance to talk to her. If she would have been in our class, I could have found one way or another to have a conversation with her. And when she does come in the lunchtime, she's always with Arasi which for me is a big no-no. 

"Please, I don't want to make unnecessary enemies just by entering that class." Kavya's class is just a bunch of monkeys with a sky-touching ego.

Kartik grunts. "That way you'll never get a chance to date her."

"Date? Who said I'm going to date her?"

"You like her but don't want to date?"

I roll my eyes. "Firstly, I never said I like her. I just have this urge... to talk to her, if that makes any sense. And I'm far from dating anyone now."

I had a girlfriend before. 

She was beautiful indeed. We had conversations outside the school and she was interested in medicine like I am. Sitting on the benches outside the school, we would talk for hours about how Ashwagandha could be used to treat so many ailments. Slowly, the romantic 'gestures' kicked in. Holding hands, sitting together in the class, hugging each other was not meant for me. It was something I didn't enjoy or feel comfortable doing with her at all. And for once, while sitting with her I had a thought of how much a good friend she could be. That was when I knew I never felt attracted to her. I just liked her as a person.

And for Kavya, it feels the same...maybe. I have this desire to talk to her, to get to know her. She seems like an interesting person. But anything more than that, maybe I'm just not ready or not interested. That's why dating is always out of option for me.

Because when you have a relationship, physical intimacy matters as much as emotional. 

"It's because you've only dated once," Kartik says. It could be that too. "If I had your speaking skills, I would've gone to her right now."

"My speaking skills are limited to debates and speeches. Anyway, I need to prepare for today's debate. I can't risk losing against class A, can I?" I remove the piece of paper from my pocket and memorize the points I will present today at the interclass competition.

"Oh, look, Princess Arasi." Kartik squeals and I chuckle at his over-enthusiasm at the view of his said crush. "I wonder why she isn't playing." As usual, he doesn't dare to approach her, admiring her from afar.

Soon, the bell rings and we proceed to have lunch. Our lunch room is never quiet. It is always bubbling with gossip, talks, and catfights that keep the hall brewing. I stand in the queue for food with an empty plate in hand. A bunch of friends are clattering their spoons against the plates to develop a rhythm that they are loving but irritates the rest of us. 

The food is not that great but not completely bland either. But the thing I hate about the food here is they always, always have to keep sambar which is so watery and insipid that it is equivalent to drinking vegetable stock. Today, they had the same with idlis and some green chutney on the side.

I carefully make my way to the bench where Kartik has already reserved us a place. One boy and two girls we know from our class join us as we eat our lunch together. I nod my head in between the conversations they are having because my mind is already booked for the debate, the points repeating in my head.

My eyes are moving across the hall mindlessly when they stop at a bench. It is a group of boys, way smaller than me. Standing on the bench, the twelve-year-olds or something, are picking up on a girl whose head is downcast, her back facing me. They pull her braided hair and not let her eat as they take away her plate. I shake my head in dismay at how such young children are pulled into practices like bullying. I look away because I know I can do nothing. It isn't my place to do something.

I continue shoving the remaining idlis in my mouth, my appetite lost. The next time I look up, I see the girl's bag being emptied on the ground. The girl gets up and turns around to silently collect her things back.

"Deepti?" I stand instantly and look again. It is Deepti who is clutching her bag close to her chest, her face bare of all emotions.

I don't think twice about running towards her. "Hey! Stop that!" Seeing me, a seventeen-year-old senior, the boys scurried out.

I come to kneel before Deepti and cup her cheeks. "Hey, are you okay? Who were those guys?" Kartik comes beside me, along with the people we were sitting with.

She looks at all of us and smiles, even though with all that happened. "I'm fine. They were just teasing me, Anna. You don't need to worry."

My brows knit together. "Tease? They were literally bullying you."

"Deepti, you can tell us," Kartik assures her.

She looks around, her eyes wide at all the people surrounding her. "No, I'm fine." The bell rings, announcing the end of lunch. "I think I should go. Best of luck for your debate, Anna."

She rushes out, out of all our sights. I press my temple and groan. Only if I'd helped her a little earlier... I think I've developed this habit of committing a mistake and regretting it later. So much so that my mistakes always affect my loved ones. And regretting about them won't fix the issue at hand.

My fish, I'm sure I'm going to mess up the debate.

—

My presence of mind wasn't there when I was in the hall, during the debate. I didn't know Kavya was also participating in the debate and was on the opposing team. Her points were quick and bold, earning claps from the large audience that filled the chairs in the hall. The lower grades were called for this very competition to be spectators because, next year, they would have such competitions too. It was because of this that Deepti had come today or else we have had different school timings. Maybe that's why I never saw the bullying that took place.

Instead of thinking of the next point, my eyes are roaming among the audience, to spot Deepti so that I'm reassured that she is fine. But she isn't there. Anywhere.

The competition comes to an end sooner than I thought. I've kept the least number of points and when I see the faces of my other two teammates, I realize that we are definitely going to lose. The results are going to be declared tomorrow as everyone starts to leave the hall while the class A teammates hoot in cheer amongst themselves.

"What was up with you, huh? You were zoned out most of the time." Arun grumbles.

I roll my eyes and mutter a quick sorry before getting off the stage. I'm ready to go back to my classroom but the class A students had to interfere.

"I didn't know it was that easy to defeat class C people, huh?" A boy, whose name I already know but I will pretend I don't comes in front of us.

I fold my hands against my chest. "What was your name again?" I see Kavya chortle silently before the boy says his name in a low guttural sound. "Raj."

"Oh, ya, so Raj, I think you should mind your own business."

He laughs. "Aww, you don't have to be so sad at your loss. We'll defeat you again in the sword fight so keep a little sadness for that too."

"Wait, how will he fight with such a small height?" Raj's sidekick comments and everyone laughs as if it's the most funny joke ever. They have the audacity to make fun of my height when theirs is just an inch bigger than mine? Wow.

"Well, I do have a bigger brain than yours. And I'm grateful for that." Now, it was our time to 'boo' them at Raj and his sidekicks' embarrassed faces. I shake my head and get out of there before they think of some other comeback.

"Hey!" Someone taps my shoulder, and on turning around I find Kavya with a grinning face. I step back unconsciously, not expecting her to greet me.

"H-hey..." Oh fish, why am I stuttering now?

"You all did great. Ignore what Raj just said, they're all idiots."

I chuckle. It is so sweet of her to come and tell this to me. I feel like I would end up melting like boiling jaggery.

"Their idiot-ness can be seen on their faces so no problem."

"Anyways, I'm Kavya. And you're Onkar?" She brings her hand forward and we shake hands.

"Yep."

"I've seen you a lot participating in such competitions. This time, I gave it a try too." 

She saw me? She actually noticed me? Woah, never knew these competitions would be so... profitable.

"No way this is your first time. You were incredible."

She tucks a strand beside her ear as we start walking, side by side. "You're exaggerating. You did good too."

"I was zoning out most of the time so..."

"Yeah, I noticed. Why was that so?"

I did feel like telling her everything from A to Z. But then I realized we just introduced ourselves to each other. So it's not the right time to narrate my whole life story to her.

"Just some problems."

She hums and we almost reach our classrooms when I– accidentally– look behind and see Kartik and a bunch of guys of our class with teasing eyes and thumbs ups, following us secretly. My fish, I roll my eyes. Kartik is the shyest person I have ever seen but he will take every advantage to tease me. They are definitely going to interrogate me after this.

We talk a little more and realize that for the first time, I have my expectations come true. Kavya is a soft-spoken girl–words coming out of her lips feel like a melody to my ears. It's such a fortunate thing to have someone who shares the same interests as you. It's not until a teacher in the hallway scolds us to go to our classrooms that we finally part. Or else I would have asked if she had any interest in medicines.

When Kavya walks away to her classroom, in no time, Arun jumps up on me from behind. "You sneaky boy!"

I roll my eyes but can't contain the smile when I see everyone gathering me. "What? Get off me!" I push him off my back. 

"You told me you don't like her!" Kartik amuses.

I bite my lip to control my smile and look away to hide my heated cheeks. "No, I don't. We were just talking."

"Talking huh? You weren't just talking. Give us details now." Another boy pesters and I instantly run for my life, with others scratching my back for all the information.

I swear, boys can be the biggest gossipers.

***