Inside a studio with a live audience.

Bob Sanders - "Hello and welcome to everyone's favorite midday talk show: The Mid-Day Show with me, your host, Bob Sanders. Ladies and gentlemen I am eager to introduce you to our revered guest that is here with us today. Renowned music video director, Omar Ghazali!" (Bob begins clapping)

(The crowd stands up and cheers, Omar Ghazali comes out. Bob playfully bows to Omar and then they shake hands and sit down. The crowd quiets down and sits down as well)

Omar Ghazali - "I am going to have to correct you Bob."

Bob - "What do you mean?"

Omar - "I am more than just a *air quotes* Music video director, *end air quotes* I like to also consider myself a dream weaver, some have even called me a shaman. I make dreams come to life, I make fantasies realities, I make wine from water."

Bob - "My sincerest apologies."

Omar (slightly peeved) - "Apology accepted, now start again."

Bob - "Okay, I am here with famous music video director, dream weaver and externally proclaimed shaman, Omar Ghazali. Omar, it is a pleasure to have you on sir."

Omar - "You are blessed to have me on."

Bob - "Indeed I am. So let me just get right into it. What made you want to start directing music videos?"

Omar - "To quote Lady Gaga, I was born this way."

Bob - "What would you be doing if you weren't a music video director?"

Omar - "I'd probably be researching how to become one."

Bob - "So when did you start directing?"

Omar - "Well Bob, if memory serves me right, I believe I started as a fetus while still in the womb. The exact day was when I finally developed hands, though I vividly remember wanting to direct even before then. My mother swallowed all the components of a video camera after I communicated to her that I wanted a video camera through a form of morse code by kicking her stomach at varied durations. I was obviously an extremely precocious child."

Bob - "Indeed you were, that's fascinating."

Omar - "Yes. I then reconstructed that digested video camera and began to do what I was created to do. I did an autobiographical work and filmed my time and growth in the womb. I combined it with the beautiful melodies of my mother's stomach rumblings and created a sort of Tarkovsky-esque film, but a lot less boring."

Bob (impressed) - Wow! That is truly incredible. Well, it is obvious to most, especially after that anecdote, that you are a very talented and unique individual. Fervent fans of yours have claimed that there is nothing you can't do, is that true?"

Omar - "It is close to the truth, but I would be arrogant to say that I can do everything. There are of course some things I can't do, I am human...Though there are scientific debates currently going on that may prove that statement false."

Bob - "May I ask what those things are that you cannot do?"

Omar - "I can't change a tire, I can't tie a bowline knot, and I can't harpoon a whale. But what I can do is direct a music video...and goddamnit am I good at it. I won't lie to you...sometimes I am even terrified of my own talent. It is as if I am a vessel for the muses and they work their magic through my lenses, through my hands, through my words and direction. My guidance is equivalent to the great navigators of Europe. I have an eye that not only competes, but dethrones the big brother eye in the sky from George Orwell's 1984 dystopian society. I see all, I know all, and I am capable of turning any song into a dreamscape of wonders."

Bob - "Wow I admire your humble honesty. You are up for another award which leads me to ask, how many awards have you won up to this date?"

Omar - "How many awards have I won? More than a TI-89 graphing calculator can count. I have six mansions and one yacht, and I still do not have enough space to store all of my awards. As ludicrous as this may sound, I have actually begun declining awards because the quantity of awards has gotten too extensive."

Bob - "And you have deserved every single one of them. There must be countless artists trying to work with someone of your caliber. Do you have a criteria for the artists you are willing to work with? In other words, would you be willing to work with anyone?"

Omar - "Would I work with anyone? If they pay me enough. I am only joking."

(The audience and Bob both laugh)

Bob (slapping his knee in amusement) - "Omar you are a crackup! Apart from directing you are also well known for your grade-A humor."

Omar - "Indeed I am Bob. But to return to your question, they must possess three things: talent, passion, and a certain edge to them. I like to consider myself an outlaw, a renegade of film, a rebel without a cause. You know, a James Dean sort of character."

Bob - "So you don't do this for the money?"

Omar - "No, I don't do this for the money...Though I am the highest paid music video director in the world according to Forbes, Google and Entrepreneur Magazine...and even Bing. But to answer your question, no I don't do this for the money."

*phone rings*

Omar - "Excuse me, this is my agent. I need to take this call."

Bob - "By all means go ahead."

Omar *answers phone* - "I don't care how talented he is, or how the song has potential to be a smash hit. If they don't have the money I'm not doing it. I am not some sort of charity. Tell him to acquire the funds and then we can talk." *hangs up phone* "Sorry about that...But like I was saying, no I don't do this for the money. I do this for the love of art."

Bob - "I think your work speaks volumes to that love affair."

Omar - "My work does indeed speak volumes. It speaks volumes so loudly that the decibel level forces people to either wear ear muffs or cut off their ears. My body of work is a body that is so perfect, that Michelangelo's David feels the need to cover himself when he looks at mine."

Bob - "Speaking of great artists like Michelangelo, I think most people would agree that you are one of the greatest artists of our generation, if not all time."

Omar - "Thank you, I would agree as well."

Bob - "So I wonder, is legacy something you think about?"

Omar - "No I don't think about legacy, I think about the present, and what I can create now. People who think about legacy are thinking about retirement. I am never going to retire. I see myself working until I am dead, and even when I die, I see myself still creating music videos beyond the grave."

Bob - "Well I think I speak for the entire art community when I say that we can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that you don't plan on ever stopping. But Omar, do you ever see yourself slowing down, even just a little? Having a family, something separate from your work? You know, like getting married and having children?"

Omar - "That is like asking if I ever see myself becoming the yodeling champion of Paraguay. In other words, not a chance! Next question compadre."

Bob (chuckles) - "Alright, well Omar, where do you get your inspiration from?"

Omar - "I derive inspiration from rewatching one of my music videos. It is the gift that keeps on giving. No matter how many times you watch it, and many have watched my work up to a hundred times if not more, there is always something new, inspiring, life-changing that one can find in my work. It has so many layers, it is like an onion...Or one of those 7 layer dips that you buy at the supermarket...But multiply that by 1000 and then cube that number, and then you begin to creep closer to the amount of interpretations one can find in my work."

Bob (energized) - "That is true isn't it! I find myself completely and utterly enamoured by your work, and I can't help but think, how in the heck does Omar do it? How does this man come up with these wild and profound ideas? Do you get ideas and visual images from your unconscious? In other words, do you get ideas from dreams of yours?"

Omar - "Yes I tend to pull a bit from my dreams. I work 24/7. I wake up and I think about directing, I sleep and I direct in my dreams. I conjure up new ideas, tie visual images together to compose an alluring juxtaposition that makes people's jaws drop and their heart race. There is a reason all my music videos start with a warning that is similar to a roller coaster attraction. It warns those who have a heart condition that the video may cause heart palpitations and may even induce a heart attack. It is not uncommon for people to die a happy bliss after witnessing one of my videos."

Bob - "I have heard stories of people dying after watching your videos. News outlets have reported those stories, and critics have persecuted you over this, as well as critiquing you on other fronts. Which leads me to my next question. Critics of yours have said that your music videos are not profound, they are downright dangerous and are a lower form of art than most full length films. What do you say to these critics?"

Omar - "Yes, I've heard the idiotic critiques. People say, isn't it just moving images on a screen with a soundtrack being played behind it? How profound can it be? How challenging can it be? I say, you sit your fat ass on this directing chair and you see how challenging it is. In regards to the profound part, I have been told by numerous people, 2 chinchillas, and Oprah Winfrey that my music videos have had such a profound effect on them, that they indeed have found peace, tranquility and achieved enlightenment. Some have even climaxed to my music videos. Now I pose the question to you...Can my music videos be profound?"

(crowd cheers)

Bob - "I would say that I am personally convinced that they are."

Omar (irritated) - "To those who aren't convinced, I have a message for you. (looks directly at the camera) You are no greater than a pathetic baboon, and if you see me in the streets, you better briskly walk in the other direction, or I will shove my foot where the sun doesn't shine...And no I am not talking about a cave, nor a wine cellar..I am talking about your asshole. And I wear a size 12, you can imagine the degree of pain and agony that I can cause with these tied up Timberlands. And if I have my Doc's on, I advise that you sprint in the other direction because you don't want to see the damage I can do with those combat boots."

Bob - "You heard it here first on the Mid-Day Show with Bob Sanders. Omar, thank you a million times for coming on, I really enjoyed this talk."

Omar (apologetic tone) - "Sorry I got a little hostile there at the end. I am just passionate about my work."

Bob - "No apologies necessary. Those critics do deserve a nice kick in the caboose. Well thanks again Omar, and goodluck to you."

Omar - "I appreciate it Bob, but save your luck for someone who needs it, I don't need it."

Bob - "Okay. The great Omar Ghazali ladies and gentlemen! (The crowd cheers. Omar shakes hands with Bob and takes a bow to the crowd.)

The End