Person A (PA) - "Do you like apples?"

Person B (PB) - "I love apples!"

PA - "Do you like berries?"

PB - "I love berries!"

PA - "Do you like bananas?

PB - "I'm not too fond of them."

PA - "What is a pebble?"

PB - "A pebble is a remnant of a stone or a small rock formation."

PA - "Do you like sand?"

PB - "No it gets too hot and it gets everywhere."

PA - "Do you fear change?"

PB - "I think it is natural to."

PA - "Do you fear ghosts?"

PB - "If I saw a ghost I would probably be afraid of it, so yes."

PA - "Do you fear pizza rolls?"

PB - "If they are served to me frozen or semi-frozen then yes."

PA - "Do you eat frozen food?"

PB - "Ice cream, sometimes...on special occasions."

PA - "Do you eat moccasins?"

PB - "The shoes?"

PA - "Yes."

PB - "I haven't tried it, but if it was served to me at a restaurant and properly prepared then I would gladly try it."

PA - "It is quite delicious with fig jam, and a little zest of lemon...just a little zest, too much and it is too sour and therefore yucky."

PB - "You are making me hungry."

PA - "You are making me anxious."

PB - "Why?"

PA - "Because."

PB - "Cuz why?"

PA - "I'm not your cuz."

PB - "I'm not your cuz buddy."

PA - "I'm not your buddy guy."

PB - "I'm not your guy friend."

PA - "And I'm not a Pillsbury dough-boy, I am a real boy."

PB - "But are you?"

PA - "What do you ever so mean?"

PB - "Are you actually real?"

PA - "Yes?"

PB - "Are you sure about that?"

PA - "Not as sure as I was a few minutes ago, but I would say yes I am."

PB - "How do you know?"

PA - "To quote Descartes, I think therefore I am."

PB - "Does thinking make you real?"

PA - "I also see myself. Do you see me?"

PB - "Yes, but I see other things that people say aren't there."

PA - "Really?"

PB - "Yes, and they say 'hey you, stop speaking to invisible creatures,' and I say, what creatures?"

PA - "Well, other people see me too and acknowledge my presence."

PB - "People rarely acknowledge my presence."

PA - "Perhaps you aren't real."

PB - "I suffer, therefore I know I exist."

PA - "But who are you?"

PB - "Who am I? I'm me."

PA - "Yes but that me, wears masks. Which mask is the real one, if any?"

PB - "I don't own one single mask."

PA - "No, like psychological masks, personas that you assume when you are around others."

PB - "Ah yes, I see what you mean now."

PA - "Do you now?"

PB - "I do now, I didn't then."

PA - "I knew you'd see things my way."

PB - "Well I was worried that I wouldn't see things your way, because I couldn't see until I put on these glasses, and once I did, I could suddenly see much more clearly."

PA - "Glasses do tend to assist in sight"

PB - "That they do."

PA - "I do."

PB - "This isn't a marriage ceremony nor a marriage proposal."

PA - "I didn't think it was."

PB - "Then why did you say, 'I do?'"

PA - "Are you not allowed to say those two words together in any other context?"

PB - "It is against federal statute and penal code: S-5423-A."

PA - "Oh, I actually don't know the laws."

PB - "Most people don't."

PA - "That is true, we just know the basics, and whatever we are told."

PB - "Yeah it is why we are controlled."

PA - "Why are laws and contracts always written in incomprehensible legal jargon instead of plain language?"

PB - "They want it to make no sense so that people will not be able to understand, and will have to hire a lawyer to read and understand it, hence the lawyer then can charge an exorbitant amount for their fee."

PA - " Is that also why laws and contracts are always made insanely and unnecessarily long."

PB - "Yes, they know people won't ever want to waste their time reading it, and will instead gladly pay someone else to read it, and interpret it for them. Additionally, if it is long enough, someone can plant things in the contract or law, so that people will inevitably agree to something that they were unaware of because they were either too lazy, or too incompetent, or too overwhelmed, to read it and truly understand it, thus they just agree to whatever. "

PA - "That is something we all do though, isn't it? Just agree without reading or understanding what we are indeed agreeing to."

PB - "Yes, we all do it. Think about a terms and conditions agreement. Have you ever read more than a paragraph, or have you even read just one sentence? Or even just one word in those terms and conditions agreements? Or do you just scroll down and click agree."

PA - "I just click agree."

PB - "I do too, but it is dangerous. I guess we just expect people to be decent human beings and not try to screw us over, but then many learn a tough and expensive lesson, and just sign over their life savings, their home, their personal information, their dog, their toaster oven, and even their precious high school yearbook which contained their teenage memories."

PA - "Why would lawyers want another person's high school yearbook?"

PB -"Some lawyers enjoy this idiosyncratic hobby, perhaps you can even call it a fetish. They relish in collecting school yearbooks. My hypothesis is that I think they like to examine what people say to one another, and based on what is said in the yearbook, one can deduce quite a bit of information. For instance, you can learn who were good friends, if they were dating anyone, who had inside jokes together, who were fake friends, or who barely knew the person and were just being polite and said things like: Congrats, or have a nice summer. There are even some in which a person just signs their name without a corresponding message, which I tend to think is a bit cruel."

PA - "People can be cruel."

PB - "People can be very cruel."

PA - "Who is crueler, in your opinion: Cruella de Vil or Jack the Ripper?"

PB - "Other."

PA - "I didn't give you an option for other."

PB - "Well I created one, because I am a creative person, and additionally, I refuse to abide by your rules and be limited in the choices that were given to me."

PA - "I admire your free and independent spirit."

PB - "I admire your goat."

PA - "My goat is really beautiful isn't it?"

PB - "Yeah, do you enter it into competitions and shows?"

PA - "If you mean beauty pageants, then yes."

PB - "Do you win?"

PA - "Yes, it has won the prestigious award of: Most Beautiful Goat in the County, 3 years in a row, and hoping for a 4th! Fingers crossed. I am also hoping that my goat will be granted admission as a contestant for: Most Beautiful Farm Animal in the County."

PB - "Who won last year?"

PA - "This sheep with gorgeous curls."

PB - "I like sheep."

PA - "I like that they say bah."

PB - "I like that they eat grass."

PA - "Why?"

PB - "I think they look funny eating grass."

PA - "I think people look funny when they eat."

PB - "Why do people refuse to eat something when it is still alive? They can kill it with a bite, but instead, they choose to kill it by another method first, and then when it is dead for a while, they will then choose to eat it. Wouldn't you want it as fresh as possible instead of hours, days, weeks, or months old?"

PA - "It appears more cruel and brutish to kill something with your bare teeth wouldn't you say?"

PB - "But electrocuting an animal to death, boiling an animal alive, shooting it in the head with a boltgun, or decapitating it, these aren't considered cruel and brutish?"

PA - "I don't know...but come to think about it, I am positive that there are certain foods you eat that are still alive when you bite into them."

PB - "Can you bite into ice cream?"

PA - "No, my teeth are too sensitive."

PB - "Are teeth ever covered?

PA - "Yeah, a retainer, braces, any sort of dental cap, or a diamond grill can be used to cover teeth."

PB - "True."

PA - "False."

PB - "Huh?"

PA - "Select C."

PB - "Select B."

PA - "Select A."

PB - "Select K

PA - "Special K."

PB - "Special K cereal."

PA - "Is the bomb.com"

PB - "It is quite delicious, I ate a lot of that when I was in college for breakfast."

PA - "Buffet school breakfast was amazing."

PB - "It was."

PA - "I love a good buffet."

PB - "I do as well."

PA - "One must grab the highest value items first, you know, to get up on the house."

PB - "Yes, too many people tend to make the rookie mistake of stuffing their faces on cheap and filling food, and not getting their money's worth."

PA - "Do you ever go to buffets alone?"

PB - "Of course, that is the best time. You don't have any competition."

PA - "Is it a competition?"

PB - "Everything in life is a competition."

PA - "Everything? I didn't know that."

PB - "Hence why you are losing."

PA - "Hey! I'm winning!"

PB - "Are you?"

PA - "Yes, or at least I tell myself I am..."

PB - "You didn't even know you were in a competition, so how could you possibly think you were winning?"

PA - "The fact that I am not competing makes me a winner."

PB - "That logically does not make sense. One can only win if they are competing against competitors or an adversary of some sort. There must be at minimum, something to overcome and defeat."

PA - "I despise logic."

PB - "Why?"

PA - "Because one can logically explain any of their most illogical actions. The smarter you are, the more adept you are at rationalizing your most irrational decisions."

PB - "We are driven by irrational impulses."

PA - "I'm driven by my horse and buggy."

PB - "You still own a horse and buggy?"

PA - "I still own a portable cd player my friend."

PB - "I am not your friend buddy!"

PA - "My name isn't buddy."

PB - "And my name isn't friend!"

PA - "And my name isn't Sally."

PB - "I never said it was!"

PA - "Oh yeah! Sorry, I got you mixed up with somebody else. You just look so familiar...you have an ordinary face."

PB - "I have a unique face."

PA - "If you had a unique face, I wouldn't have got you mixed up with another person."

PB - "How dare you."

PA - "Don't dare me."

PB - "My face is very unique, I have a freckle right above my lip."

PA - "I can't see it."

PB - "My moustache is covering it."

PA - "Why don't you shave your moustache?"

PB - "Ladies love it."

PA - "Do they?"

PB - "Yes."

PA - "Then why haven't you been on a date in 9 months?"

PB - "Dating is not my priority at the moment."

PA - "What is then?"

PB - "Mastering the art of basket weaving."

PA - "That is a noble pursuit."

PB - "Thanks, I hope to weave a basket that I can place my fruit in."

PA - "I hope you reach your goal."

PB - "I hope you reach the mountain top."

PA - "How did you know I was planning on climbing Everest?"

PB - "You post about it every single day on your Facebook page."

PA - "Oh yeah, I didn't know you cared enough to examine my page."

PB - "It pops on my newsfeed."

PA - "Oh..."

PB - "So..."

PA - "Woah..."

PB - "Goal..."

PA - "Goaaaaallllllllll!!!!!" (points to the soccer game and someone just scored a goal)

PB - "Gooooooaaallllll!!!" (runs around and rips off his t-shirt and pours ice water over his body)

PA - "We are going to the championship!"

PB - "We are going to the ship baby!"

PA - "Soccer matches aren't played on ships. You aren't a soccer fan are you?"

PB - "No...I'm not actually. I like waterpolo."

PA - "I like Marco Polo."

PB - "Marco."

PA - "Polo."

PB - "Found you.".

PA - "That was a quick game of Marco Polo."

PB - "Quicker than his travels on the Silk Road."

PA - "Well obviously, that took years."

PB - "I don't like your tone."

PA - "And I don't like your face, it's too ordinary."

PB - "I'm out of here."

PA - "I don't care, leave."

PB - "I am leaving, but not because you told me to, I am leaving on my own free will."

PA - "Do we even have free will?"

PB - "I don't know! I am not a philosopher, nor a neurologist, nor a psychologist, nor a theologian, nor an inflatable armchair!"

PA - "I could have guessed that."

PB - "I didn't ask you to guess."

PA - "I don't need you to ask me anything."

PB - "I don't ask questions. Questions ask for me."

PA - "And I don't ask for permission. Permission asks for me."

PB - "You're lame."

PA - "You're a poser.'

PB - "You're a loser."

PA - "No, I'm a winner."

PB - "Do you want to hold hands?"

PA - "Sure..." (they hold hands)

PB - "How does that feel?"

PA - "Quite nice actually."

PB - "Your hands don't sweat."

PA - "No...I don't contain any sweat glands in my palms."

PB - "Really?"

PA - "Yeah, I'm a mutant."

PB - "Like an X-Men?"

PA - "Yeah."

PB - "That is gnarly."

PA - "Yeah I guess...but it's hard being different from others."

PB - "Yeah, but at least you're unique."

PA - "You make me feel important."

PB - "You make me feel like dancing."

PA - "Shall we have a dance off?"

PB - "I think we shall."

(The two have a dance off)

PA - "You're a great dancer."

PB - "Thanks! So are you."

PA - "I am also a great singer."

PB - "I am too! I once tried out for The Voice and all four of the judges turned their chairs for me."

PA - "Really?"

PB - "Why would I lie to you?"

PA - "To impress me."

PB - "Why would I want to impress you?"

PA - "Because you like me."

PB - "Why would you think that?"

PA - "Because I am unique."

PB - "You are basic."

PA - "You just said I was unique."

PB - "But your DNA is basic."

PA - "You haven't examined my DNA."

PB - "I don't need to in order to know it is basic. I can just tell by your yoga pants and Starbucks reusable cup that you are indeed basic."

PA - "And I can tell that you are basic by looking at your ordinary face, which is indeed forgettable."

PB - "You're cruel."

PA - "You're too sensitive."

PB - "I am a sensitive lover."

PA - "I'm guessing you write poetry and play the guitar."

PB - "Yes, how did you know?"

PA - "Play me a song."

PB - "I don't want you to fall in love."

PA - "Why?"

PB - "I'm not ready for love."

PA - "I'm not ready to jump."

PB - "Out of a plane?"

PA - "No, out of a tree."

PB - "You aren't in a tree."

PA - "I'm in a family tree."

PB - "You aren't my father!"

PA - "And you aren't my mother!"

PB - "I never said I was."

PA -"Oh, I must have got you confused with somebody else."

PB - "Again!"

PA - "I'm really sorry, I can't help it. You seem so familiar because you have such an ordinary face."

PB - "I have a unique face!"

PA - "I would be able to distinguish you from others if your face was truly unique."

PB - "I'm leaving."

PA - "Don't come back."

PB - "I will if I want to."

PA - "I won't be here when you do."

PB - "I don't want you to be."

PA - "Why?"

PB - "Because you're cruel."

PA - "In the words of Bobby Brown, Don't Be Cruel."

PB - "I'm not, you are."

PA - "I know you are but what am I?"

PB - "A cruel person!"

PA - "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

PB - "Look out!"

PA - "What?"

PB - "A word is about to come crashing through the window!"

(a word hurls through the window, shattering the glass, and impaling Person A)

PB - "Are you okay!?"

PA - "No! A word just pierced me and ripped me open!"

PB - "Did the word hurt you?"

PA - "It indeed did. Words can actually hurt."

PB - "They indeed can, and you hurt me with your words."

PA - "I now know how you feel, and I am sorry. Will you forgive me?"

PB - "Yes of course. All I ever wanted was an apology."

PA - "That is all you ever wanted?"

PB - "Well, sorta...I am a human, therefore I have endless wants.

PA - "Thanks, all I really want is honesty."

PB - "Is that all you really want?"

PA - "Well, maybe not all I want, but it is something I want."

PB - "What else do you want?"

PA - "Land...and a Nintendo Switch."

PB - "I have a Nintendo Switch."

PA - "Can we play together?"

PB - "Of course, I'd love that."

PA - "I would too."

PB - "Let's go play now."

PA - "Can you take me to the hospital first? My vital organs were punctured by that word that came crashing through the window."

PB - "Oh yes, of course."

PA - "Thanks."

PB - "De nada."

PA - "What? Come again, I don't know what that means."

PB - "It means you are welcome."

PA - "In what language?"

PB - "Spanish."

PA - "Oh, I don't speak Spanish."

PB - "I figured that out as soon as you didn't comprehend what de nada meant."

PA - "Why did you assume I knew Spanish?"

PB - "You look Latin."

PA - "So you are judging me on my physical appearance?"

PB - "We all make judgments on physical appearances whether we want to admit it or not, it's instinctive."

PA - "Yeah I guess you're right."

PB - "I am left."

PA - "I want to be left alone."

PB - "I want to be found."

PA - "Why?"

PB - "Because people want to find treasure."

PA - "You are a treasure."

PB - "Do you really think so?"

PA - "Well you are standing on the X, and X marks the spot in all treasure maps."

PB - "That does seem to be the case."

PA - "The case is closed."

PB - "It's open, and so is your wound. You are bleeding quite a bit."

PA - "I'm bleeding love. Do you think this is what Leona Lewis meant by it, when she sang about it in her hit song?"

PB - "I don't know. I don't know her, nor can I read her mind."

PA - "I didn't expect you to know her."

PB - "Why?"

PA - "She is too famous."

PB - "She hasn't been famous in more than 10 years!"

PA - "She's still more famous than you."

PB - "You don't know that!"

PA - "Yes I do."

PB - "I was on The Voice, remember!?"

PA - "No, I don't remember."

PB - "I was a 4-chair turner!"

PA - "So were hundreds of others."

PB - "I can't stand you."

PA - "I can't stand to see the light."

PB - "Is it very bright?"

PA - "Very! Hand me those sunglasses so that I can bear to look at it."

(Person B hands Person A the sunglasses, and Person A puts them on their face)

PB - "How is the light now?"

PA - "Bearable. I don't mind looking at it now."

PB - "Don't go to the light."

PA - "I wasn't planning on it"

PB - "You weren't?"

PA - "No, I just was planning on staring at it. Perhaps even getting a nice tan from it, maybe even feeling its warmth."

PB - "Why?"

PA - "Do I need to have a reason for my actions?"

PB - "It would be helpful if you did."

PA - "Why can't I just like the way something makes me feel?"

PB - "You can, that is a valid reason."

PA - "Oh, okay. I honestly thought you were going to fight me on this."

PB - "I am not a fighter."

PA - "What are you then?"

PB - "A lover...a sinner...a midnight smoker...and an Etch-A-Sketch master."

PA - "A renaissance man."

PB - "A renaissance person."

PA - "Oh...You don't like the term man?"

PB - "No, I don't like limiting words, and gender pronouns can really be limiting. To be honest, I even hate that cities call manholes: man-holes."

PA - "What would you want them to be called?"

PB - "Gloryholes."

PA - "I love that."

PB - "I figured you would."

PA - "Why would you figure that?"

PB - "You seem to be someone who appreciates glory."

PA - "I revel in glory."

PB - "I revel in grape jelly."

PA - "Odd?"

PB - "Peculiar?"

PA - "Sweet."

PB - "Tasty."

PA - "To be honest, I'm more of a strawberry jam kind of person."

PB - "Oh really? I wouldn't have pegged you as one."

PA - "What would you have pegged me as then?"

PB - "A cream cheese kind of person."

PA - "I am that as well."

PB - "I knew it."

PA - "How did you know?"

PB - "Because I know how to peg people."

PA - "Is that a sought after skill?"

PB - "Very much so. It got me my job."

PA - "What is your job?"

PB - "Pegging people."

PA - "Oh...well in that case, being able to peg people accurately is very valuable."

PB - "Indeed it is."

PA - "Indeed...Well, I'm bleeding out my friend."

PB - "Oh yeah, I forgot to take you to the hospital. I will call an ambulance."

PA - "Can't you drive me?"

PB - "I don't have seat covers and you are bleeding profusely, therefore I don't want you in my car...blood is nearly impossible to get out, and also my car is not only new, but it is a lease. You understand right?"

PA - "Completely. If the roles were reversed, I would feel the exact same way as you."

PB - "Thank you for being so understanding."

PA - "And thank you for calling the ambulance."

PB - "I haven't yet."

PA - "Oh...well hurry up."

PB - "No, don't tell me to hurry up."

PA - "Hurry up please."

PB - "There! Was it that challenging to be polite?"

PA - "Honestly, kind of...since everything is extremely painful at the moment."

PB - "Stop seeking pity."

PA - "I'm seeking compassion, there is a difference."

PB - "What's the difference?"

PA - "Pity is cruel, compassion is kind."

PB - "Do you think we can be friends?"

PA - "If I survive this, then yes we can be."

PB - "Cool, I need a friend...To be honest I don't really have any."

PA - "You will continue to have none if you don't phone the ambulance immediately."

PB - "Oh yes, right, I'm sorry, I keep forgetting." (calls ambulance) "Hi, I need an ambulance immediately. My friend got impaled by a word, and the word ripped open his heart, as well as other vital organs, he is in desperate need of medical attention immediately. Oh yes, yes I can hold..."

PA - "What!"

PB - "They put me on hold."

PA - "Why?"

PB - "I don't know why, she just asked if I could hold."

PA - "Why didn't you say you couldn't?"

PB - "Because I could do it. I'm not incapable of holding."

PA - "Well, it was nice knowing you."

PB - "Do we actually know each other?"

PA - "Well, we did grow up together."

PB - "No we didn't."

PA - "Oh yeah, you're right, we didn't. I'm sorry, I got you mixed up with somebody else. You just look so familiar because you have such an ordinary face."

PB - "My face is unique!!!"

PA - "It isn't though."

(Person B hangs up the phone)

PA - "Why did you hang up!?!"

PB - "Talk to the hand because the ordinary face does not want to hear it."

(Person B raises his hand and Person A speaks to the hand)

PA - "Hand! Please, you got to listen to me! Please call the ambulance, I may not make it if you don't do it as soon as possible."

PB - "The hand can't speak, because it doesn't have the required parts needed to speak. You know: the brain, the larynx, the tongue, and mouth, etc. "

PA - "Does the hand know sign language?"

PB - "Do you?"

PA - "I know a little."

PB - "How did you learn?"

PA - "Basic signs were displayed on the back of a Honey Nut Cheerios cereal box. I learned the signs while enjoying a delicious bowl."

PB - "I love Honey Nut Cheerios. They are one of the best foods to eat high."

PA - "They are enjoyable even when you aren't high."

PB - "Indeed. You are right."

PA - "I'm left, you asshole."

PB - "I'm not an asshole, I'm a hand."

PA - "You are a person."

PB - "You are dead."

PA - "I am?"

PB - "Yes, I see dead people."

PA - "So you have seen ghosts?"

PB - "Now I have."

PA - "So are you afraid of me? Or did you get over the fear?"

PB - "I never said I was afraid of ghosts, I just said I may be afraid if I saw one."

PA - "So I'm not scary?"

PB - "No."

PA - "Can I ask you a question?"

PB - "Of course."

PA - "Am I destined to be a ghost that is trapped here? Or can I leave this planet? Will I attain peace?"

PB - "That I don't know...I just see dead people...that is the extent of my afterlife knowledge."

PA - "I thought you knew more!"

PB - "Why would you think that?"

PA - "You told me you were an expert on the afterlife! You said you did extensive research on the Egyptian Book of the Dead."

PB - "I never said such a thing!"

PA - "Oh yes, you're right. I'm sorry, that wasn't you. I apologize, I got you mixed up with somebody else. You just look so familiar because you have such an ordinary face."

PB - "I'm leaving."

PA - "Don't leave me, I'm scared!"

PB - "There is no need to be scared."

PA - "How do you know there is no need to be scared?"

PB - "I don't know, but fear never helps any situation does it?"

PA - "Well if I fear a poisonous snake, I won't go near it, and thus I won't risk being bit by it, so that would help me in that situation."

PB - "Oh yeah, well I guess fear does help in certain situations."

PA - "Why didn't you help me?"

PB - "What do you mean?"

PA - "You didn't call the ambulance?"

PB - "You should have helped yourself. You were capable."

PA - "Is it wrong to ask for help?"

PB - "No, but you shouldn't expect help."

PA - "What should I expect then?"

PB - "Death, that is inevitable."

PA - "That is a tough thing to realize."

PB - "Yeah, why is that?"

PA - "We don't want to ever think about our own death, it is grim and terrifying."

PB - "Why though?"

PA - "I think because we don't know what happens, and uncertainty frightens us."

PB - "Is this why we set up our lives in a way that makes it predictable and boring?"

PA - "Yes, to acquire certainty, which consequently makes us feel safe. Making your life predictable allows you to feel as if you have some control, which alleviates some anxiety."

PB - "I would love to be out of control for once."

PA - "Why can't you?"

PB - "It isn't in my nature?"

PA - "Anything can become your nature. We are just a conglomerate of habits."

PB - "I think we are more than habits...we are also an amalgamation of cells, muscles, fat, skin, etc."

PA - "You are right, I was just trying to be profound."

PB - "If you try to be profound you will fail to be profound."

PA - "Why?"

PB - "Because forced things are rarely, if ever, profound. They come off flat, dull, lifeless, just a well-rehearsed humdrum of regurgitated bromides and platitudes."

PA - "Like the early bird gets the worm?"

PB - "Yeah, that is one... not a very profound one, but a platitude nonetheless."

PA - "Personally speaking, I never understood that one. I don't gain any sense of motivation from that... I wouldn't want to obtain a worm. If the saying said something like: the early bird gets a pot of gold, or perhaps the early bird gets an all expense paid vacation to a destination of their choice, or the early bird gets Manhattan real estate, then the saying would make sense to me. I would understand it more clearly."

PB - "It pretty much means that."

PA - "How does it pretty much mean that?"

PB - "A bird wants the worm, you want all those things you name. Though the wants are different, both have things that they desire. Thus, the person has a purpose and motivation to get up early if they seek to obtain their wants. Just like the bird whose purpose and motivation for getting up early is to get that worm it wants. Get it?"

PA - "Yeah, it's like if you get up early you can reach the Caspian Sea."

PB - "Why would I want to reach that sea?"

PA - "Why wouldn't you?"

PB - "Because it hasn't ever interested me before."

PA - "It contains a multitude of compelling history about it, I'd advise you to look into it."

PB - "I'd advise you to mind your own business."

PA - "Try telling that to your financial advisor."

PB - "I did, he said it's his job to mind about my business."

PA - "Did you fire him?"

PB - "Why would I light him on fire? He has a family."

PA - "Does he?"

PB - "I believe so, I saw a photo of them on his desk."

PA - "Why do people do that?"

PB - "Perhaps it provides them with their meaning for earning a living, a friendly reminder of why they are doing their job. You know?"

PA - "Oh it's like my photo that acts as a friendly reminder to feed my cat."

PB - "You have a photo of your cat?"

PA - "Not at my desk."

PB - "Where is it?"

PA - "I keep one in my food pantry."

PB - "Why?"

PA - "So I remember to feed it."

PB - "Did you ever have a tamagotchi?"

PA - "Yes."

PB - "Did you remember to feed it?"

PA - "No, because I didn't have a photo of it in my food pantry."

PB - "Ah, so you learn from your mistakes."

PA - "Not always."

PB - "Why not always?"

PA - "Human beings are actually not too adept at learning from their mistakes."

PB - "I never make mistakes."

PA - "We all do."

PB - "Not I, I win."

PA - "I meow."

PB - "Why?"

PA - "To speak to my cat."

PB - "Oh, makes sense. But you don't speak Spanish?"

PA - "I don't need to, my cat doesn't speak Spanish."

PB - "Was it difficult to learn how to speak cat?"

PA - "Learning a new language always is difficult."

PB - "Love is like learning a language."

PA - "How so?"

PB - "It's easier to learn if you are introduced to it while young, and much more difficult to learn when you are older."

PA - "I guess."

PB - "Do you guess?"

PA - "I have been guessing my whole life. Sometimes my guess proves to be right, other times, it proves to be wrong.

PB - "I guess that is life. "

PA - "What is life?"

PB - "What is death?"

PA - "Well it seems to be no different than life at the moment."

PB - "Perhaps we have nothing to be afraid of?"

(A large, ominous, shadow monster appears and grabs Person A)

PB - "What are you doing with him!?"

Shadow Monster - "Taking him away, to darkness, to hell."

PB - "Why?"

Shadow Monster - "He practiced the Sabbath on the wrong day."

PB - "Is that really the difference maker between heaven or hell? Whether or not you practice the Sabbath on the right day?"

Shadow Monster - "I don't make the rules, I just enforce them."

PB - "Well I hope you aren't tortured in hell."

Shadow Monster - "He will be."

PA - "Please do something."

PB - "What can I do?"

PA - "Something."

PB - "Who can I call?"

Shadow Monster - "You can call Grace."

PB - "I don't know a Grace!"

PA - "Do you have Jesus' number?"

PB - "I seem to have lost it."

PA - "Try to find it."

PB - "Where do I look?"

PA - "Anywhere."

PB - "Anywhere is too vague, and too large. You will be taken away from me by the time I find it."

PA - "Well, I consider you a friend, and if your face wasn't so ordinary, I would remember it for eternity."

PB - "You were the only friend I had."

PA - "Please feed my cat for me."

PB - "I'm allergic."

PA - "No you're not."

PB - "You're right."

PA - "Stop shying away from responsibility, and stop making up excuses."

PB - "I love excuses."

PA - "Why?"

PB - "They give me a reason to do, or not do something."

Shadow Monster - "My name is excuses."

PA - "Odd name for a demon."

PB - "I agree, it is an odd name for a demon."

Shadow Monster - "It's not odd though, excuses are extremely common. They are familiar and ordinary to us all, like your face...and I'm not a demon."

PB - "What are you then?"

Shadow Monster- "I'm you."

PB - "You're not me!"

Shadow Monster - "Look at my face."

PA - "It does look familiar."

PB - "I can't see anything."

Shadow Monster - "You need new glasses."

PB - "My glasses are perfectly fine."

Shadow Monster - "If they were, you would be able to see me more clearly."

PB - "I don't want to see you more clearly."

Shadow Monster - "Why?"

PB - "I'm afraid."

Shadow Monster - "Because you are me, and I am you, and he is you. We are one."

PA - "No, I'm 29."

PB - "I don't know my number, nor my name, but I know that you are not me, and that he is not me."

PA - "And I'm not you. I'm unique, you are just plain ordinary."

PB - "Take him to hell."

PA - "You're the cruel one!"

(Shadow Monster takes Person A into darkness)

THE END