Author's Note: The latter half of this chapter will get extremely emotional.  Also, it can get confusing as it's jumping back and forth between flashbacks and current time.  Stick with it, I swear it's worth it.

"Rish, I don't feel so good."

Ari stood in Cherish's doorway, a peculiar shade of pale on her face. Before Cherish could even ask what was wrong, Ari clamped a hand over her mouth, running to the bathroom. 

"Ari? Are you okay? Let me in!" Cherish struggled with the bolted door. She could hear Ari protesting her sickness inside, "Ari?"

"No, no, no! I can't be sick! I have that assembly today!"

Making a face, Cherish rolled her eyes, "Ari, don't worry about the stupid assembly. No wonder you're sick- you're always overworking yourself."

"But, I have to-"

"No. You're staying home today- I'll bring your work home- and someone else can do the assembly."

There was no protest as she had anticipated; instead what followed was the unpleasant sound of Ari's sickness. Frowning, she skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen, "Dad, Ari's sick- make sure she stays home. Take her keys or something." Without waiting for an answer, she plucked her keys off the hook by the door and sauntered out of the house.

-.-

There was no boring Music class that day; no, instead, there was a boring assembly. And to Cherish's surprise, Ari was there- completely composed and not looking sick in the least.

"Hi everyone!" Ari gushed from her spot on the stage, her white skirt swishing around her thighs. Cherish grimaced when she looked around the room, her sister sure knew how to work a room.  Too many eyes were glued to the hem of her short skirt, and Ari was not above using this fact. Every one of them would be at whatever event she was talking about in hopes of seeing her in another one like it. Sad, but unfortunately true.

Arida McKinley waited while the screen behind her came down, winking and waving at friends in the audience while she waited. "The Student Council presents, Spirit Week!" she squealed excitedly. "The thirteenth to seventeenth of November! Everyday we'll have different events and there'll be tons of contests and prizes and stuff. Lots of excuses to miss class- uh, sorry Mr. Stallman."

From the side of the stage, Mr. Stallman merely nodded, a hint of a smile on his face.

"We'll have P.J day, costume day and retro day, there'll be a carnival, so there'll be no classes all day that day! And we'll have candy-grams, teddy-grams, and cookie-grams all week for you all to send to secret crushes and friends."

Behind her, on the screen, pictures of previous Spirit Weeks flashed, causing some students to laugh, and others to slide lower in their seats in embarrassment.

"The Drama department, Music department and Art department are putting on a huge show on the Tuesday night, so come out and enjoy it, k? There will be a Masquerade Ball at the end of the week, and half the proceeds from the carnival and ball tickets will be going to Breakfast Club programs in the area. Seriously guys, this is going to be the best Spirit Week for a few years."

Cherish rolled her eyes at the way Ari bobbed excitedly as she spoke, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Her sister definitely was all school spirit, as much as Cherish herself wasn't. She let her mind wander as the rest of the presentation went on, not botheringt listen as she new she wouldn't be there.

-.-

At first Cherish had wanted to avoid this place, and to eat lunch with Ari or Delia instead. The discomfort of being around Seven, Juss and Ian had just been too much for her to deal with. But after the last week, and after Liz and Jo stopped eating with them, things had changed. They didn't bother her much anyways, not that they were trying to. Except when they occasionally talked to her, but it wasn't hard for her to pretend they weren't there.

Groaning as the speakers beeped and the lunchtime radio show began, Cherish slammed her book down. She hated the annoyingly perky host and the music he played. Staring at the speaker above her, she contemplated breaking it. Deciding it would do no good, as she would still hear the speakers from around the corner, she sat back. The annoying music was soon blocked out by other music, blaring out of the speaker that came around the corner with Ian, Seven and Juss. Frowning as she opened her book again, she settled back against the wall.

"Hey, Cherry."

Ian's words fell on deaf ears as Cherish merely flipped a page and continued reading. He watched her a minute and then shrugging he turned away, lazily leaning onto the wall and stretching his legs out before him. Seven reached out his arm, his fingers pressing a button on the small but loud speaker, turning it up. As he lay on the floor, he drummed on his stomach, nodding his head to the beat, his eyes closed.

At first, her sighs were really spaced out and they all pretended to ignore the source. She tried not to care- tried really hard not to care. But the songs they were playing made it painful just to sit there.

"I like to sit in the back and watch out for cops, play with baby's hair play with baby's top, and when she gets tired that way, I whisper in her ear and say..." (1)

The laughter filled the air, Len throwing back her head as she screamed out the words, "Bend over I'll drive!!"

In the back seat of the car, Jeb raised a brow, "I didn't know you liked it that way, babe."

Laughing, she leaned back to kiss his face, throwing Cherish a teasing glance, "No, but I know you definitely do!"

Jeb mocked being upset as everyone laughed, "You're right. I'm only using you 'cause I haven't found myself the right guy yet."

Twisting out of her seat, she climbed into the backseat and into Jeb's lap, kissing him hard, pushing herself into him. "Really?" she asked, a hint of teasing in her question.

"Well, yeah," he was sarcastic before his expression and tone softened, "I don't think I could ever find another person more right for me than you."

Cherish smirked from the driver's seat, "Come on you love birds, give it a rest will you?"

"I love you too, Cherry-kins!"

She hadn't listened to these songs since, well... She didn't want to hear them, didn't want the memories that came back with them.

"What am I bloody well s'possed to do, got my bloody well self bloody stuck on you... What am I supposed to do? I wake up in the night my head full of thoughts of you..." (2)

She did. Truly. Every night; the nightmares were endless,

"Len!!!!!"

The shrieks filled the air as she watched her best friend...

"Turn it off."

They all looked at her, Juss raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Just turn it off."

She didn't want to justify herself; she couldn't, too afraid to voice her reasoning. Afraid that the dam she had built would crack and the raft she was coasting on would wash away.

"Look," Seven glared as Juss turned the music down, "I know you'd much rather listen to the stupid shit they play on the JCM radio station, but just because you are an intolerant control freak, we're not going to suffer and listen to it."

Cherish took a deep breath, intended to calm her. She was fully contemplating leaving when Seven opened his mouth again, "If you don't like it just leave."

She glared at him, her hand just itching to slap the smug grin off his face, "Just because I don't look like you, does not mean I don't enjoy this music. You're the intolerant one! Not to mention ignorant!  You go around assuming things about me when you don't even know me!"

Deciding to humour her, Seven tucked an arm behind his head, an 'I don't believe you' smirk spreading itself over his face. "Well then, why does it bother you?"

Reaching over to the speaker, he slowly turned it up, mocking her with his cocky raised eyebrow. She wanted to shave it off. With a snort Cherish turned away, "Whatever, I don't need to-"

The song switched, a painfully familiar tune swimming out into the atmosphere, and Cherish felt the air pressing down on her. She choked back a gasp and counted to try and steady herself. 1...2...3...4...5...6...

"Hey there little red riding hood, you sure are looking good... you're everything a big bad wolf could want. (Listen to me) Little red riding hood, I don't think little big girls should go walking in these spooky old woods alone. What big eyes you have, the kind of eyes that drive wolves mad..." (3)

No...no...no... She couldn't do this. Not... not with her song... their song. She felt the tears stinging her eyes, hot as they began spilling slowly onto her face. Shaking, she turned back to them, not caring if they could see her glistening eyes and stared at the speaker with her head cocked to one side. It continued to spill out the song, polluting her sacred free-place with its melody, polluting her head.

The boys watched her curiously as she grabbed her ears, her fingers prying into the sides of her head, as if attempting to tear them off. Suddenly, she shrieked, pulling back her leg and, with a surprising force, she kicked the speaker, watching as it slid, spinning away from them, shattering when it hit the stone barrier. Juss and Ian jumped back in shock, spewing out profanities. As Seven jumped up, anger on his face and lunged for Cherish, a hand held him back.

"What the fuck?" he yelled, but he was drowned out by Cherish's screams.

"Serves you fucking right! You ever think that I'm here for a reason? I asked you- I asked you to leave me alone. You ever think I sit here, by my-fucking-self, hiding in books for a reason?"

Before she could say anything else, Seven interjected mockingly, "You ever think-"

"I don't want to think!" she shrieked, cutting his words short, "I don't want to think about her! I don't fucking want to think about her!"

She didn't care that her knees felt like there weren't there anymore, or that she had the freaking Niagara Falls running down her face. Bracing herself against a pillar she breathed heavily, as if she had run a marathon of some sort.

She didn't wipe away the tears that freely flowed, nor was she able to calm herself, "I can't do it! I can't do it when you play her song. It makes me think and I don't want to think about her!"

-.-

Somehow she had managed to get home, despite the tears and trembling hands and large shaky sobs that were raging through her. Every part of her body ached as she had stumbled, unseeing, up the stairs to her room.

"No! No! No! No, fucking hell, NO!" she screamed into the empty quiet of her house as she collapsed half way up the stairs. There was no reply but the quiet ticking of the clock in the living room. Letting the convulsions overtake her, she sat there crumpled and silently crying for some time before dragging herself up the rest of the way.

"Why?" she knew there would be no answers but she continued to yell, for everything that hurt and for everything she had lost. They were unintelligible, raw screams and guttural noises, her face soaked with the tears she hadn't bothered to wipe away. What was the point; more would keep coming. The images played themselves in her head, one in particular repeating itself mockingly. Pushing the pain further- blaming her.

"Cherry-Baby! Len-Honey! You're cut!" Jeb called out as he exited his truck, chuckling as he slammed the door shut. The two girls were balancing on the top of the fence, dancing stupidly to songs that blared out of Cash's car. As they danced, they smashed the bottles that were neatly lined up along the top of the fence; bottles that, once empty were set up for target practice. They were celebrating the summer, the sunlight, the joy of each other.

No. She didn't want to remember this, she pulled desperately at her ears, "Shuttup!" she screamed, her voice strangled and weak from crying.

"Oy!" Cash called as his bottle, still full, was shattered on the ground in a spray of glass and beer when Cherish kicked it, "Watch it you two! Jeb's right!"

"Nuh-uh!" Len giggled as she jumped down, running to greet her boyfriend.

Cherish found an empty spot on the fence and lowered herself till she was sitting in it, "We're not cut, Cash!" She drawled into his ear, giggling, "We're just having some fun- they're just empties anyway! You guys use them for your stupid drunken shooting games- so why can't we break them?"

He laughed as she wrapped herself around him in a way he was entirely used to, her chin in the crook of his neck, arms tightly secured around his chest and legs curled around his mid section.

"Run horsey! Run!!" she crowed, and he took off from the fence, running unevenly till she began to slip. Cash, well on his way to his sixth beer within an hour, toppled, "And you say I'm cut!"

From beside his truck, Jeb laughed, "Cash, man, you're cut too!"

"When the cows come home!" Cash guffawed as he tried to separate himself from Cherish. The two of them rolled uselessly on the grass, Cherish writhing so much that she was now on top of him.

The pain enveloped her, breaking her apart as it wrapped itself like a cocoon around her, crushing her with its magnitude.

Iggy, who had been watching them all, amusement on his features, spoke up now, "Cherry, I'm a much better horse than him- come on, I'll show you!"

Cherish rolled her eyes as Iggy wiggled an eyebrow suggestively, and rested her head on Cash's belly as she patted his chest, "Nah, s'okay, I like the horse I have. He's a good strong horse," she nodded in mock seriousness, "he can go much longer than you!"

The gathered guys, who for the most part had been watching in lazy amusement, broke down in laughter now.

"Crash and burn, Iggy, crash and burn!"

"Shot down!"

Cash wrapped his arm around Cherish as he lifted himself, "Aww thanks, Malice. You know you're my favourite rider, right babe?"

"Course I am- only the best, Cash, only the best."

"That you are, babe" he chuckled, looking up to Iggy, "Hey man, if you want, I can teach you!"

This caused the laughter to erupt again, Iggy once again the brunt of the joke. The poor guy had harboured a not so secret crush on Cherish for years. Too bad she didn't like his cocky lines and overly lingering hugs. She jumped up into Cash's arms, "Hi-Ho Silver, back to the fence!" she commanded, gracing him with a soft kiss to the side of his head.

"No! Stop! Go away!"

She crashed her fists into the walls, pain bursting every time she made contact. She was unaware of the broken glass from a picture frame and the blood running down her arm. In a twisted attempt to kill the pain surging through her, she continued to pound anything in her path.

Jeb was leaning on the fence now, a beer in hand and Len draped over his shoulder with her butt resting on the edge of the fence. Cash set Cherish down beside them, "There y'are, babe!"

"How many they have?" Jeb inquired of Cash, indicating his drink with a nod of his head.

"Honestly?" Cash laughed, "they shared one."

"Lightweights."

He knew full well they weren't even the slightest bit tipsy; his girls had been keeping up with the guys from the garage since they were 14!

"I am not!" Cherish punched his arm. As Cash sauntered off to the cooler in the back of his car, Cherish called out to him, holding out an open hand to indicate she wanted a bottle, "Cash, my gorgeous sexy lover friend, I love you!"

"Me too!" Len yelled from beside her, "Get me one too!"

"Why?" she thumped her head lightly on the wall, "Why, why??"

She was muttering brokenly, the first shock of pain having spent itself in her. Holding herself against the wall, she pushed her face onto its cool hard surface as if her life depended on it.

Jeb untangled himself from Len long enough to properly greet Cherish, who was now leaning heavily on his side. "Hey Sweets," he kissed her mouth quickly, a light peck, and tugged affectionately at the hair that hung loose down her back.

"Hey Jeb- missed you."

"What?" he laughed at the girls, "You were at the garage like two hours ago!"

"She was missing you for me!" Len's words were matter of fact, a smile playing on her lips as she placed her head on Cherish's shoulder. Most people found their friendship absolutely odd. But that was the way they all were, family and loving friends since childhood. Especially with Cherish and Len, they hugged and touched and kissed and declared their love, inappropriate or not; it was who they were.

"M'ladies!" Cash bowed as he handed them their drinks, popping his own open and chugging it back in three large gulps.

"Thanks, Hun," Cherish lightly kissed the corner of his mouth, before tipping her bottle back into her mouth. The cold liquid coursed through her, burning the back of her throat as it went, sending a shudder through her. Jumping off the wall, she pulled Cash out into the middle of the field, "Let's dance!"

"AAOOW!" Len threw back her head, pulling Jeb into the field as well. Others were already dancing, jumping, and doing goodness knows what else in the field. This was their normal anytime/anywhere celebration of everything. Out behind Audrey's house, in the open field that ran alongside the highway, they had countless parties. Loud and noisy, people drinking and sweating and dancing till the early morning hours; the girls were often the center of the party. After lots of dancing, after lots of drinking, after lots of drunkenly hanging off each other while attempting to jump along to the music, Len declared she wanted to take a walk.

"Le'ss go over the road to the woods."

Cherish shuddered as another painful sob ripped through her, her knees buckling as she unconsciously held her stomach. She knew what was coming, she knew all too well what was coming... The rage tore through her again; she did not want to remember this part. Her hands tore at the wall, scratching and punching and slapping, till she was numb. Her screams were high, hoarse whispers now, her voice long since lost.

Cherish pulled free of Cash's hand, ran over and slapped Len's butt, clumsily tearing off across the grassy field.

"Cherry! You bish!" Len called out, taking off after her once the moment of shock passed, "I'ma ge' you back!"

"Nuh-uh, Helley! I's too faaaasht for you!" Cherish stumbled, fell, did an awkward somersault and then got up and kept running, laughing hysterically the whole while.

"Really smooth, Malice," Cash yelled as he and Jeb chased after the girls in inebriated zigzags.

"I am the smoothesht!"

Ahead the empty road was approaching, and in the light summer darkness, it was washed in a blue glow. She stumbled again, catching herself with outstretched arms this time.

"Cherry you suck!" called Len, too close now, readying herself to kick Cherish's butt, which was up in the air after her fall.

Cherish scrambled away, running backwards now, so she could keep an eye on all of them closing in on her, "Still too faaaaash for you, Lennie, Baby!" She wiggled her body in what appeared to be a victory dance.

"Cherish!" Len shrieked in an alarmed tone. Before she could question it, she felt the impact of a body crashing into hers, followed by the tormented screams of both Cash and Jeb.

"LEEEEN!"

There were sickening thumps and thuds and the sudden screeching of rubber against the tarmac. The smell of burning rubber filled the air and Cherish looked round in confused apprehension. Len lay, like a broken rag doll on the side of the road, three feet away from where Cherish found herself relatively unscathed. Cash lay four feet to the other side of her, an ear-splitting string of curses coming from his mouth as he writhed, cradling his leg.

"Len?" Jeb crossed the road in a rush, collapsing at Len's side, "Len?!?"

She wasn't moving, even from where Cherish sat, she could see she wasn't moving. The crack running across the back of her skull, was probably a very big part of the reason. Scrambling to Len's side in a rush, she choked out her name, "Len? Oh my God no, Len!"

"Oh my God!  OHMYGOD!  You kids okay?"

She didn't bother responding, nor did Jeb, "Len, Baby, no!!!!"

"NO!!!!"

Her breath was coming in ragged gasps, struggling to filter in through her closed throat. Her eyes were swollen, half open and yet she didn't see anything. She cradled her knee to her chest, stroking it, as if it were Len's head, Len's bloody, cracked, dead head.

"No, Len, no! Wake up, Hellene, open your eyes, Love!"

She was unaware of the fact that she was in her bed, curled into the wall, her blanket wrapped protectively around her. She was unaware of her father entering from time to time to check on her, gently pushing her hair back from her face with worried eyes and wiping her face dry with the hem of his soft shirt.

"Len, Love, wake up! Don't go! Don't leave me, please? I need you, Love!"

*Title song by Johnny Cash

The songs the boys were listening to: (1) Bend Over, I'll Drive- the Cramps. (2) Bloody- Long Tall Texans. (3) Little Red Riding Hood- The Meteors.