Chetna opened and closed the box of cigarettes in her hand to redirect her nervous energy somewhere. The flap had almost torn off the carton and the cigarettes had yellowed a little.

The past month had numbed her to what was happening around her. She felt like life had sort of gone on autopilot ever since the night she had parted ways from him. She didn't feel like an active participant in her life anymore, things had happened to her rather than her actively doing those things. 

All of those micro-decisions she had let life take for her had led her here. A month away from marrying a virtual stranger. 

She had known that it was a possibility all her life. That she would end up with someone her parents had found for her might be a very likely outcome. What she hadn't expected was that the time would come this soon. 

Bharat seemed like a nice man, she kept trying to convince herself. He seemed like a perfectly reasonable man once you got past his accent. 

They had met four times so far, two of which had been in the company of their family members. 

She thought back to the only meeting they had had that qualified as a date. They had met in the restaurant of the five-star hotel Bharat's family was staying at. 

 Chetna had dressed with extra care for the occasion. Her mother had even made her put on a full face of make-up. She had arrived a few minutes late and had found him pacing the lobby. When he saw her he smiled graciously but looked at his watch pointedly. 

They shook hands after a very formal greeting and proceeded toward the restaurant. Soon they were seated with menus in their hands. The server hovered about, pouring their water into fancy wine glasses. 

"Thank God they still had our table reserved," Bharat said with a polite smile. 

Chetna looked around at the fairly empty space with several empty tables and resisted the urge to point out that it wouldn't have been a problem. 

Instead, she smiled and said, 

"I'm sorry I was ten minutes late. Traffic caused unexpected delays." 

He nodded and seemed to have been pacified by her apology. 

"Would you like to order yourself or would you want me to pick something for you? I have excellent recommendations."

"Thank you, Mr Bharat but I think I will decide for myself." 

She scanned the menu and decided to play it safe with pasta. She didn't trust the seafood items on the menu and the other things did not seem too enticing. 

The server came back and inquired about their drinks. Before Chetna could ask for what wines they had in-house, Bharat chimed in with a shake of his head.

"Just sparkling water for me," he said and then turned to Chetna "I know you'd be surprised to know that despite studying abroad I am a teetotaler."

Chetna moulded her face into a poker expression. 

He had said it with such pride and smugness as if he believed it to be a virtue of the highest honour. She tried to appear pleased to know that bit of information about him and debated whether or not she should refrain from alcohol as well on a date with him. 

"Here is our non-alcoholic menu, ma'am," the server offered helpfully and flipped the page on the menu. 

She finally ended up ordering a mocktail and leaned back in her chair. 

"It is so nice to finally be able to talk without our parents around, right? There is so much to discuss if we intend to move forward with this wedding. I know Nitin uncle and dad would like nothing more than us getting married but of course, it is ultimately your choice."

Chetna nodded in agreement. He hadn't asked her a question and there was nothing she wanted to add to his statement. 

"I should begin by telling you that I expect my wife to come and join me in the US where I am currently working as a software engineer at Neuro Tech. I live in Seattle. I don't know how familiar you are with the geography of the US but Seattle is on the west coast. I used to live in San Francisco at first but then Neuro offered me this huge package..."

By the end of the night, Chetna knew mostly everything about his life from puberty to ten minutes before this dinner. 

Exactly at 9:30 PM, he stood up and they walked out of the restaurant together.

"Let me walk you to your car," he offered. 

Chetna did not decline. 

"So Ms Chetna, I know you have just finished your LLB and I understand you would like to work after marriage." 

Chetna held her breath waiting for him to continue. 

"As I have already told my parents and I am sure they must have told your parents, I have no problem with you pursuing your own career. As you know I have an established career in Seattle you will have to work around that. And of course, there are other family obligations that come with an alliance like ours. I hope we get to talk about important topics like children, religion and finances very soon."

They were now at the entrance waiting for the arrival of her car. 

"It was really nice to sit down and chat with you," Bharat said finally as she saw her car rounding the corner. 

"Yes, same here." 

She grabbed the keys from the valet and got into the driver's seat. She looked back at Bharat who seemed to be frowning at something.  

"Does your family not employ a driver?" he asked. 

"Yes we have Sagar Bhaiya. Why do you ask?" 

"It's pretty late and India isn't exactly the safest place for a girl who is travelling alone." 

"Thank you for the concern Mr Bharat but our house is hardly twenty minutes away. I'll be fine." 

She quickly shifted the car into gear with a fake smile and drove away before he could get another word in. 

Lately the most calming part of her day was driving around the city she had grown up in. Everything seemed strangely familiar and yet far away and alien at the same time. 

In the distance, she spotted a small corner shop lit with a lone bulb. She stopped the car and got out and walked up to the counter. The man on the other side seemed unbothered by his unusual customer. 

She asked for a cigarette and lit it with the lighter strung to the counter. 

This was her first one in months. 

The aversion to them had started when she had landed back in Jaipur after Chaarvi's reception. The smell, the feeling and the act of smoking reminded her too much of the person she had tried so hard to forget. 

She did not understand her impulse to get out here and smoke tonight of all nights. She had avoided these cancer sticks like death but today she craved the nicotine in her bloodstream for some reason. 

Flashes of the time she had shared with him started spilling over in her mind. She clenched her fists and shut her eyes, willing herself not to cry. 

But traitorous tears leaked past her eyelids. 

She bought a whole carton of cigarettes and lit another one as she leaned against her car. The shopkeeper did not look bothered by her waterworks either so that was some consolation. 

She spent a few minutes just silently crying, smoking and reminiscing.

The sudden wail of a passing ambulance brought her back to the sobering reality of her situation. Here she was, throwing herself a pity party in the middle of a street. She was crying about the choices she had made for herself. 

She thought of how Siddharth had begged her to reconsider. She had still walked away from the best thing that had happened to her. 

There was no use now. She had made her decision. She had to follow through now. 

That was the day she had gotten home and said yes to Bharat Agnihotri. He was going to be her future husband. 

It wasn't the worst thing to happen to her. 

She had a fulfilling career to look forward to in the US with a husband. A whole life ahead of her. 

Life isn't always perfect. She had to make the best of what she was given. 

So here she was, seven days away from her engagement to the groom she had chosen and forty days away from tying the knot and leaving all of this behind. 

And today the uncontrollable urge to smoke, like the day of that date with Bharat, had overtaken her. She had slipped away from the crowd and locked her room from the inside for privacy. She was now on her balcony, crouching on the floor so no one could spot her from the garden. 

She took deep, calming breaths as she debated whether or not she should light one. 

She had spent the morning sorting through their purchases and labelling the gifts that were to be distributed to the relatives. 

Quite a few of her extended family were joining them today. 

The only person she was excited to see was Chaarvi. 

She had missed her sister like crazy in her absence. She hadn't been able to come back after the wedding so she would be seeing her for the first time since then. 

Chaarvi's presence would be tainted by the memories of him but she would have to look past it. Then in a moment of realization, she figured that this might have been the reason for her nicotine craving.

The news of Chaarvi's arrival had stirred up all those memories she had so carefully quashed. 

The click of the lighter sounded in the silence and the flame warmed her finger. Her body reacted instantaneously. She immediately felt like she was in a warm embrace, almost like she was in his embrace. 

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling. She tried not to think of whether she was addicted to cigarettes or she was trying to relive certain moments of her life. 

The few minutes of peace were broken by the knocks on her door. Her mother's muffled voice followed. 

"Chetna! Your sister is almost here. She is coming with her in-laws so get dressed properly." 

She sighed and buried the cigarette butt in the empty pot of soil on the balcony. Before her mother could nag her anymore she slammed the bathroom door shut and stripped to take a shower. 

She would obviously put on a brave face for her little sister. 

She had assured Chaarvi how happy she was by this match over the phone when they had spoken. Chaarvi was too deep in the state of marital bliss to consider the possibility of Chetna's circumstances. She wanted to be the last person to burst her bubble. 

Once she was dressed, she stood in front of the mirror. She had no heart to do her hair or makeup but she knew her mother would nag her. So she swiped some kohl on her lashline and dabbed some lipstick on her lips. She left her hair damp and open, spilling around her shoulders. 

She walked down the stairs just as she saw suitcases being placed inside. Just in time. 

A smile made its way to her face as she spotted her sister entering the doors. She ran up to hug her with a giggle. 

"Di!"

"Chaarvi! How are you? I missed you." 

"I am great, Di! You tell me how you are! Bride to be. How does it feel?" 

"I--"

But before Chetna could answer any other questions, her voice drowned in her throat because walking up to her doors a few feet away was the man she didn't think she would have to face ever again. 

A/N

At long last, they will meet.

Also my apologies for the wait but this time it was my sleep schedule that you can blame. The only time the words come out of my brain is when I am tired and up late after midnight. 

Since I fixed my sleep schedule the updates dried up because I have this weird either/or situation. 

Either you get regular updates or I sleep on time, wake up on time, get enough sleep and make time for exercising and studying. 

No in-between. 

Today I stayed up late to bring you content so please vote and comment <3