Art: Sexy Grape Man by @return_of_the_king (Wattpad) aka @i-am-darth-feanor (Tumblr)

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Several minutes, or what he thought were minutes, later he awoke. He woke up in a room made entirely of gold and Oojipleg could've sworn that this was the Royal Grape Castle he heard about in stories...but it couldn't be. Why would the grape prince have kidnapped him, a lowly enemy?

"You're awake," came a smooth, velvety voice from somewhere in the room.

"Who- who are you?" Oojipleg said blearily. And why is your voice so nice?

"No one of any importance," came the voice again, but Oojipleg was too weak to lift up his head and see. Oojipleg settled back into his bed and listened to the gentle humming of the man.

"Why have you brought me here?" Oojipleg said after some time. "I am, after all, a wizard and an enemy."

The grape dude looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.

"Hmmm. What would you understand of my intentions?" he said and he finally came to stand in front of Oojipleg.

"I- I am confused," the wizard said. Oojipleg was getting rather concerned. The man's handsomeness was blinding him. He started searching the room for a possible escape route. Then he saw a window. He sprinted towards it...but the grape man cut off the escape route! Oojipleg found that he was very, very ripped. But Oojipleg had a few secrets up his sleeve.

His fingers found their way to his secret knife hidden in his cloak. But the handsome grape man was faster and he snatched the knife away. The grape leaned forward and kissed him, with a hand clutching the wizard's shirt. Oojipleg didn't know what to do. He breathed heavily. Oojipleg took a deep breath and asked,

"Wh- why have you done this? Who are you?"

The grape man laughed softly after this and said, "Oh but you really don't know?" A wicked grin crossed his face. Now Oojipleg was mad. He grabbed the grape man and kissed him fervently back. How dare he do that to him first?

Then, unbeknownst to the wizard, the grape man seized the knife he had taken from Oojipleg, and he stabbed Oojipleg straight in the pancreas. *Bam* Oojipleg fell to the ground.

"OOOOOOOOFFF!" Oojipleg screamed in utter pain. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??"

His breathing slowed. The grape man cackled and said in a sad sort of voice, "It would have worked anyway. I am a grape, after all."

"This is big sad." he cried. Oojipleg went still, he felt blood on his hands. Oh?

The grape man dropped the knife, then knelt beside Oojipleg. "At last, perhaps the enemy is vanquished." he said.