CHAPTER 03 | TRIGGER WARNING R-18: Harmful words that are not suitable for young readers.

"I want you back, let's make it work this time. Fuck our friendship,"

';'

"How many times do I have to explain na hindi ko 'nga siya anak!" Sigaw ko sa kanilang dalawa pareho kasi ayaw talaga nilang maniwala na hindi ko anak yung batang iyon. Baka nagkamali lang siya o kaya magkahawig kami ng nanay niya. Baka anak iyon ni Chase, pero imposible eh kasi kalog yung babaeng iyon, and she's not dating anyone either.

Hinayaan ko na lang ang dalawang mag overthink kung anak ko ba talaga yung batang iyon at pumunta na lang sa silid ko dito sa Echapper na 'min. Gosh, I supposed to be staying at my condo right now pero dito ako bumagsak sa bahay na 'to.

It used to be my stress reliever house pero ngayon hindi na kasi na ii-stress na ako sa mga tao rito.

I hate life. Ngayon lang, pero pwede rin naman araw-raw kasi every day ako may galit sa mundong ito.

Tinanggal ko na ang lahat ng mga abubot sa katawan ko. I took out everything even my earpiece and every thing I wear whenever I go on a mission. I feel safe at this house, high tight security din naman kasi itong house na ito kaya there's nothing to worry about. Unless someone who's good at breaking the codes as Jasper.

I took off the dress that I was wearing and went to the bathroom to give myself a warm bath in the bathtub. I left the water run for a while and went out to get some wine in the kitchen— naked. 

I'm always unbothered walking around in this room naked since it has its own kitchen and everything I needed, the Echapper was big for a reason because the three of us do our own shits in this house.

I opened the hanging cabinet and saw my favorite drink from Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru, this drink is super good especially when you want to have time with yourself. I took the wine glass and poured the drink into it while walking back to the bathroom.

I turned off the running water and added some white rose petals to it and my fave body washed and finally dipped my body in there.

 As soon as I laid my body in the bath tub, nakahinga na rin ako ng maluwag, at habang nakapikit ang aking mga mata ay dahan-dahan akong sumimsim sa wine glass. I really love this feeling. It feels so nostalgic. 

Back in my college days, I used to do this with him. I was always with him back then kaya yung mga bagay na hindi ko pa nagawang e-try noon ay madalas siya ang kasama ko sa unang pagsubok ko. I placed down the wine glass and dive into the tub to drown all the feeling I have felt. 

What the hell is this feeling?

"I apologize for not believing you," kaagad akong napabalikwas sa tub ng marining ang boses niya.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?!" Masama ko siyang tinignan agad dahil akala ko nakatingin siya sa 'kin pero hindi naman pala.

When will I have my peace when this man will always be around me whatever I do?

"What? I'm just reading a book," My cheeks began to heat up when I realized how embarrassing it was. 

I thought he was looking at me but he wasn't, he was sitting on the chair near the tub, crossing his legs while reading a book.

He was not even looking at me!

"I know! But, why are you here Kaleb?" I heard him chuckle and he puts down the book on his lap as he looked at me.

"It's been a while since the last time I heard you calling me by that name," and then he teasingly smirked like an idiot in college who breaks every women's heart. 

"Whatever, just fucking answer me why you're here."

"I've already answered that a while ago," he smiled right away and picked up his book from his lap, and read it again.

'Lord, kung sinusubukan na naman ng lalakeng ito ang pasensiya ko, please huwag ngayon, maawa ka sa 'kin panginoong diyos ko.'

"My night has been ruined," sabi ko na lang at ini-abot ang bath robe na nakasabit at isinuot iyon para pa ugahin ang katawan ko.

I faced myself in the mirror and I saw him on the reflection, he was not still looking at me, all of his attention are on the book. I sighed and took the blower out of the drawer and dried my hair so I could finally sleep.

My day was pretty tough.

"I heard you're leaving Oktubre, was it true?" He randomly asked behind, he was tapping his fingers on the side arm of the chair he was sitting on.

"Yes. Why, are you planning to take back my decisions?" Why the hell am I even saying this?

"No, it's just... it's not like you to leave like that. I saw you and how you worked hard for the band and chased that dream." He said and his eyes were finally on me, I looked away from his gaze and continued my business in front of the mirror.

"Oh, really? That was a different version of me," I replied with a weird laugh.  "And I like that version of you," napatigil ako sa pag bl-blower at in-off iyon.

"Stop meddling with my life right now Kaleb, I don't care if we were so close back then, pero iba na ngayon." Malalim ang mga tingin niya sa 'kin habang unti-unting siyang tumayo sa kinauupuan niya, and he seductively walked towards on me.

Our distance were so close, magkasing lapit na ang mga mukha na 'min, my forehead was below on his jaw.

He leaned closer down on my ears. "Of course, you don't care about the past. But I do and I want it back."

"It's called infatuation you asshole, alam kong may kailangan ka sa 'kin." Akala niya siguro wala akong alam kahit isa sa mga ginagawa niya roon sa Italy.

Looks like I was right when he blinked for a second. I knew it.

"Get dressed, we're going somewhere. I'll be waiting downstairs," He suddenly changed the topic.

Hindi ko alam bakit bigla kong ginawa yung sinabi niyang mag damit na raw ako, does this mean na gumagaan na naman yung loob ko sa lalakeng ito? Baka ako siguro yung may infatuation towards him at hindi siya.

Pumunta ako sa closet ko at kumuha ng hoodie at cycling shorts, kaagad ko yung sinuot sa harap ng salamin at binugkotan ang aking buhok. 

I didn't put some make-up on kasi hindi naman kailangan, at tsaka sino ba naman yung pagagandahan ko sa pupuntahan na 'min? For sure Rio will take me sa place na alam ko kung saan.

"Mommy!" Isasara ko na sana yung pintuan ng room ko pero natigilan ako ng makita ko si Jade na karga-karga ni Rio sa kaniyang bisig. "I told you Amaris that she's not your Mom,"

"I know Tito Rio but Mom and her kinda looks the same," Amaris pouted her lips at her uncle...? kasi tinawag niyang tito eh, pero hindi naman lahat na tinatawag na tito ay uncle na ka-agad hindi ba?

"Kinda lang naman so, she's still not your Mother, okay?" The kid sighed heavily and nodded, at tinignan naman ako ni Rio na nakatingin lang sa kanilang dalawa.

"Is it okay to bring her with us?" he said as he tied her hair. "I have no problem with that so it's a yes for me," he nodded and unconsciously took my hand.

Hindi ko na magawang magsalita ng maglakad siya at sumunod ang aking mga paa dahil magkahawak ang aming mga kamay. We do this very often when were still close, and thats what best friends do.

Sumakay na kami sa sasakyan para bumiyahe sa aming pupuntahan. Sumakop ang antok sa aking buong sistema kaya naisipan kong matulog na lang muna kahit paano ay makapag-pahinga ako. 

Nakapikit ang aking mga mata pero alam ko ang nangyayari sa paligid ko, kaya narinig kong lumabas si Rio sa sasakyan at may kinausap. Hindi na ako nakinig pa at hinayaang lamunin ako ng antok at makatulog ng tuluyan.

And when the moment I woke up, it was already dawn. The seat where I was sleeping was adjusted, the reason why I slept comfortably. I looked outside and there I saw him leaning on the rock— drinking his liquor. 

I observed the place and we're near in the beach pero nasa may road lang kami pumarke, I roamed my eyes all over the car and where he was and realized that Jade is not here anymore. Inalis ko ang kumot na naka-palibot sa aking buong katawan at nag ayos bago lumabas sa sasakyan.

I sat down beside him. "Where is Amaris?" I immediately asked "Kinuha na siya ng Mommy niya," I nodded right away and took the pack of cigars in his pocket, his eyes widen in shock and I didn't care.

I heard him sigh deeply while I happily lightened my Sobranie cigars, smoking is my therapy and no one can stop me from it, unless it is necessary if my life is at risk na pero malayo pa naman ako sa parte na iyon, so life goes on.

"So, you're saying that you played me last night for not telling me anything that you knew who that kid is?" Sabi ko at tsaka humithit sa aking sigarilyong kakasindi lang.

"I have to act dumb for Jasper," tinignan ko siya at napatanong sa aking isipan.

'Anong kinalaman ni Jasper sa batang iyon?'

"I can't tell you whose kid she was," he cleared his throat right away "Is she your daughter ba?"

Kumunot ang kanyang noo at masama akong tinignan eh I was just asking lang naman! "No," I nodded and I don't want to argue anymore dahil ma iinis lang ako sa mga magiging sagot niya. "Anyways, why didn't you woke me up when you gave her back to its mother?"

"It's too confidential, and also, you were sleeping peacefully and I was thinking that you need to sleep more to rest." I don't know if it's just my hallucination but I saw a weird smile that was plastered on his face and I couldn't explain— what the hell was that?

"Let's move on from that kid, let's talk about last night." I sighed and sipped on my cigars. "Which one are you talking about? The dinner?"

"Asshole." I said at binugahan siya ng usok mula sa hinithit kong sigarilyo "I don't even give a fuck about last nights dinner!"

"Oh... really? Why are you so defensive?"

"Because you brought it up!" Hingal ko sa kanya at nakita ko ang lihim niyang pag ngisi sa pagitan ng ma-amo niyang mga ngiti.

Natahimik kaming dalawa ng mga ilang segundo hanggang sa magsalita siya ulit.

"Before Alyona died... she gave birth to a daughter," my brows frowned in confusion. "Akala ko ba rumor lang iyon?"

"I thought so too, but Reina knocked on my door asking for help—" 

Hindi ko na magawang marinig pa yung mga sumunod na salita niya nag tumunog ang phone ko. The moment I answere the call, I couldn't speak up, I'm lost of words and right after it ended, 2 vans arrived and a black Mercedes SUV.

My phone fell to the floor and my knees starts trembling in weakness. Dahan-dahan akong napa-atras sa matandang nasa harap ko, I suddenly feel disgusted towards this man and I could keep my emotions by just seeing him knowing that he— well never mind.

Habang umaatras ako ay dahan-dahan ko ring hinablot ang butterfly knife sa aking likuran, I was almost there getting it but Kaleb grabbed my waist, and I could feel his warm breath on my ears down to my neck.

The anger I had felt towards the old man was kind of gone, but not entirely, it was just this weird tingling sensation down in my stomach. It shivers all over my body. 

"Don't even try  to stab him with that, those men around him don't recognize you as his grandchild." His voice was deep and sounded like he really cares if I'd die.

"Well, the feelings are mutual. I don't recognize him either," I smirked and looked up at him. "I'll just watch you from here then," he smiled.

'Okay.'

His shoulders fell when he sighed deeply and just nodded, and then I suddenly was on my back when he put something. My brows furrowed in confusion, but I ended up not minding it.

"Hola mi querida Nieta!" he spread his arms while walking towards me like he was asking for a hug, and that makes me want to puke in front of him. My anger went back to my whole system and I feel like my blood will explode.

"Oh, you're turning red now Apo. You remind me of your mother in her 20s," I greeted my teeth and fisted both of my hands. 

You remind me of your mother in her 20s. 

Gustong-gutso ko na talagang putulin yung leeg niya, and ofcourse including his fucking cucumber.

"Thanks for telling me that, but I'm just blushing anyways kasi kinikilig ako sa iyo lolo kasi nandito ka," malapad akong ngumiti sa kanya habang nagdadalawang isip kung yayakapin ko ba siya at lowkey na e-stab ko ba siya agad-agad.

I was about to stab him to death, but he caught me off guard and pointed his gun at my shoulders. "Don't try me Nieta, you don't know who exactly you're trying to kill at this point." Halos hindi na ako makahinga dahil sa higpit ng pagkatutok ng baril niya sa akin.

"Sir, I think you need to... uhm.. put down your gun," one of his bodyguards told him and he followed his command afterward as he put down his gun. "I'll come back for you... remember that Chloe,"

Unti-unti na silang umatras pabalik sa kanilang mga sasakyan at habang unti-unting nagsi-alisan ang mga sasakyan, bumagsak ang mga tuhod ko sa mga bato at pilit na pinigilan ang aking mga luha.

Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib dahil sa lakas ng kutob na nangyayari sa aking damdamin, pakiramdam ko na may tumusok na palaso sa aking puso na dumudugo. Hindi ko inaasahang masasaktan ako ng ganito ka tindi.

I really thought that it will be okay because I can do it without anyone. But, here I am, laying on the sand with rocks near the shore crying my heart out while I was with the man who was also part of the pain he made me feel years ago up until now.

AVRLBNZ