About the author:

axgirl13 is a budding writer whose novel I'm reviewing day is a 2021 Wattys Winner in Fantasy/Romance. She enjoys writing, from original to fanfiction, and has several works on her page for you to enjoy. 

Title:

Definitely every romantic. This is more of what I would expect on a rom-com, so I was surprised to see it for a fantasy novel. Which heightens the suspense for sure. ;) 

Cover:

I don't really care for the cover, honestly. The stickers at the bottom are very distracting and as a result, the title seems squished at the top. The sequel cover is much better and I would prefer they match in quality. The art fits the book, but that's about it. Not very eye-catching. 

Blurb: 

I'll be honest, I tend to shy away from stories like this. It seems very cliche based on the blurb alone, and the only reason I started reading it in the first place was to show some support for a fellow Watty shortlister. If the intention is to get readers who like girl-is-tough-but-has-to-marry-royalty-and-be-a-lady trope, it's successful. I know it's a popular trope, but I hate it and if I were glancing through Wattpad, I wouldn't give it another glance. It also seems kind of vague. I personally would like to see more details regarding the actual story so that there's more to this plot than just "girl is tough but must be meek, can she" kind of storyline. 

The Good:

This story was better than I expected. The trope is cleverly used and didn't feel lame or cliché at all. The romance especially was very well-done (especially for Wattpad haha) and healthy, and not an alpha male forcing his wife into submission. I can't say much without risk of spoilers, but I appreciated the equality and love they have towards one another, especially as shown near the end. ;) This definitely was a page turner, I haven't read a Wattpad book this fast in a long time. The plot was easy to follow and made for an interesting read as well, even if I could see some of the twists coming. Definitely a very good book, especially for someone whose original language isn't English. (I believe, no?)

The Bad:

This book is an example of early English writing, and while it wasn't necessarily bad, here are a few things I spotted. 

- Passive voice: while I believe passive voice has a place in writing, it was used too often and slowed down the story rather than helped it. A common tip is if you have a verb and can add "by zombies" to the verb phrase and it still makes sense, it's passive voice. 

Example: The fires were lit "by zombies" versus Men lit the fires. It's a slight difference, but it changes the pacing and makes it feel more alive. 

- Clunky/verbose writing: this is a common mistake in early writing and I myself am very guilty of it. Basically, you're using too many words where you could be more concise and clean. This is often with, "she felt suffocated by darkness" or something like that. You could say instead, "The darkness suffocated her" which is much cleaner and gives a better image. It's just little things like this where rewording could definitely help pacing and clean up your story a lot. Plus, this gives a lot of room for being creative and really developing your own style. 

- Basic grammar with dialogue tags. If there's action being done with the statement, example, "Oh stop that!" He waved at the boy with his hand. Since the action is separate from the dialogue, they need to be separate sentences. Not together, unless you're saying it like, "Oh stop that," he said while waving at the boy with his hand.

I don't mean to be super nitpicky, but these were just common mistakes I saw in this book that would definitely help it with editing. 

What the Reader Thought: 

I've already gone into this a little bit, but I did enjoy this book. I liked the relationships and the world-building. My main thoughts are just to edit it. Watch the words, make sure you're concise with your reader, and make your descriptions equal. Often you'd go in-depth in describing clothes, but not show the same amount of detail with other things. Just make sure everything's balanced with descriptions. ;) I enjoyed the romance and loved how it was healthy and not the typical toxic relationships many Wattpad books have. While I'm not sure I'd read this again, I enjoyed it and it shows a lot of promise. You definitely have skill with writing a good story and I look forward to seeing your career unfold! 

Score: 6.5/10