A bit about the author:

 mahana258 is an Alaskan resident who enjoys writing fantasy and angsty love stories. She is also a talented graphics designer. She is a Wattpad ambassador and was shortlisted in the Wattys2018. She is the queen of TheFaeFolk, an account dedicated to promoting fantasy. 

Title:

Can I just rant about the title? 0.0 Because it's such a pretty, poetic title... I almost wish I had come up with it myself. Like it needs a song with a silhouette style dance choreography to it or something... Ahhh, I just love it so much. It's so beautiful. *spends hours drooling over title*

Cover:

The cover is okay. I mean, it's pretty. But the text is just way too... I don't know, big? Like the cover is just this one big text block and not much else. Honestly, this one is still my favorite cover that graced this book:

Blurb:

Short'n'sweet. I like it. Not too long and drawn-out, but also not one sentence. My only question, that really caught my attention in an annoying way, is The Egr. Like is the "the" supposed to be capitalized, grammatically speaking? Because it threw me off and I lost the flow of everything else.

The Good:

First, I appreciated your short "glossary" of sorts at the beginning of the story. Most of the time I don't like it when writers do that, mainly because I get bombarded by all these random names and such and I get lost before the story even begins. However... Yours was different. You actually gave a brief, but helpful description about each that made it easy to understand. I especially loved your opening line for the definition of the Arbiters. XD That was just hilarious. "There's not much to be said of the Arbiters because no one really knows anything about them..."

Great opening with the prologue. Your descriptions were vivid and the story came to life through them beautifully.

Again, fantastic opening with your first chapter and so on. Your descriptions are spot-on.

The Bad:

However, about that glossary, the one thing I didn't care for was the names of the characters. Like either have a picture for them, or something, because else I have all these different names that mean nothing to me and I have no clue what to do with them.

A lot of places were lacking necessary commas for the flow of the story. I know a lot of it might just be subjective, but just saying.

Also, it's not that normal for women to scream when giving birth. It's pretty rare that that happens due to sheer exhaustion preventing that sort of energy to be wasted on on screaming. (Don't believe the movies.)

Another grammatical issue, is the three hyphens and a space on each side intentional?

What the Reader Thought:

Overall, just brilliant. Your descriptions, action-scenes, new twists on characterization and world-building were just mind-blowing. The whole opening with Kayden breaking into that house and all that went with it was an amazing beginning that really hooked me as a reader in and made me want to know more. And then, *boom* when chapter three opened up with a totally new character, and then said character ending up going through all of Kayden's memories, was an incredible idea to give Kayden his backstory without falling into the cliché habit of numerous flashbacks that in reality are quite boring and no one cares about. (Not that there's anything wrong with flashbacks, but they're often not done well.) The story flowed well and in a logical pattern, even with the new, unusual twists that I have never seen before in literature.

On the other hand, there were times when I was confused as to who was who, especially when you first introduce Dema and Mattice, I was bewildered for the longest time as to who Mattice was. Maybe a few descriptions about more of your characters besides Kayden and Dema would help that. But other than that, and the occasional typo, it was really good.

Score: 10/10