From: QN 1471

To: X-relief. 
Via:[email protected]

Time of delivery: 8:03am

I hate my periods, I feel like am getting punished every time I get them. The cramps are out of this world. One the first day of my periods,  I don't think my body belongs to my its like there is a riot going on inside of me. Its so painful I can barely think.

The last two days are my best days, I just like it, its like I am throwing my shackles away. I also avoid wearing white or light coloured clothings,  because no matter how I do it I always get stained.

I fuvking hate heavy periods, and luckily I haven't been getting any. I also find it gross sometimes, like I have to wash my body with three times much care and attention. I dont know how other gals do it, but I am not one tiny bit collected or even sane during my periods.

Another lucky charm is that, I don't get ances during or before ny periods unlike one of my friends. This is almost impossible, but I wish that my cramps will stop being painful. I got my first  period at age 13, what about you?

         Yours with cramps,
          Queen.

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From: AA 1478

To: X-relief. 
Via:[email protected]

Time of delivery: 7:09am

For as long as I remember, nobody finds my hair appealing, ok backtrack no one except my family and some of my friends. When I was eight years old, and i unbraided my hair and  I was walking down the street with my elder sister, a man looked me dead in the eye and called me a freak, then his eyes shot to my sister and he added an 's'.  Shannon gave him the middle finger, and I sadly retorted that I simply did not comb my hair I wasn't a freak, he snorted while Shannon was giving him her meanest glare, he said i needed hot irons to look normal not some frisky nest on my head.

When I turned ten, and Gwen moved into our neighborhood, we 'slowly became fast friends'.  and I knew from the day I showed up with 'welcome to the neighborhood cookies' that her mother disliked me. She even separated mine from the other welcome to the neighborhood cookies. Once when I turned ten and a half I asked Gwen why her mother did that, she replied with a shrug, and said her mother thought I was from downtown.

I live in Pluto a small town, and though there is a tiny bit of class diversification I love my town. The downtowns are the not so well off people or very broke people, and all their houses are fine and lit 🔥. The town literally has dope houses just some varying amount of dope people in it.

The middle, is for the well off people and the very well off people, there are no separations, and I never even thought there was one untill  i met Gwen's mother.

One time when I was turning thirteen, a boy in my class called me some mean names and I hurled my backpack (I had all my textbooks in it)  on his head, a fight broke out,  (I turned his mean ass inside out)  and we ended in miss Linda's office, she didn't ask for much, she ordered me to apologize severally to the boy and asked why my hair was unbraided, I had no response. She didn't really appreciate my hair.

Twinkle has been my friend for a long time and her mother aided Gwen's mom in Sunday school, Gwen's mother once said we had two different type of Jesus, cause there were two different types of people.

In my later years, I was to learn that preference and priority did not occur in mere words and exchange of commodities. It occurred in our lifestyles, actions and words.

I'd go to a place or accompany twinkle and we'd met people who had predetermined opinion or view  of us, people who feel that they only knew the right way to talk or act with us. But when we had Gwen with us, we became one human and two half humans and the treatment differed only for Gwen.

At sixteen, I  thought it was my acnes, Gwen had little or no acnes, she was ever ready with a skincare product.

I thought it was my hair, i had hot irons for a change, but I never really fancied straight to my skull hair, I didn't want others to see me as a freak, no matter the number of times, Shannon reminded me that my hair was perfect.

I thought it was my skin, because Gwen had a flawless skin and she had a string of ex boyfriends and admirers to buttress that point.

I sat down with my worries and disappointment for so long a time, untill it told me, that its real name  is hurt and insecurity. I remember  asking my dad for something new, that i needed it fast.

As he flashed a smile at me with fond regard, I reaffirmed in my mind, that  daddy always  made sure that I had everything I wanted and this shouldn't be an exception. 

It was one of the reasons why I got backhanded regards.

One of the reason why miss Linda disliked me.

I soon found out that it was the basis for Gwen's mother hatred.

It was the reason why another kid with untamed or unbraided hair wasnt called a freak.

It was the reason why there were two Jesus for two different people. When dad didn't mention two Jesus in my bedtime stories. 

I needed to change it. So I told my dad, I wanted it with all the urgency in the world.

I needed a new skin. I didn't want to be black. I didn't want a frisky hair. Or caramel colored thighs. Or pearly shaped teeths.

I wanted special treatment. I wanted nice treatments. I wanted regard as a full human not half. I also wanted less unsults from boys my age, and offensive comments.

And at that time, and at that age, and with my childish acceptance and sense of viewing things, being BLACK wasn't going to get me those things.

.

I still remember how my fathers smile dropped just like the day, I corrected him on two types of jesus. Black Jesus and white Jesus. For different kinds of people.

I stopped visiting, and I quit been friends with Gwen. She's a nice person and really cool, but not her mother. Its been one to two years now, and she never asked why.

Twinkle is aware, and I can't really guilt her for been friends with Gwen. I like her too much, and her disposition is so inviting and down to earth. Twinkle still believes in white Jesus and black Jesus.

.           Yours in black pride and black love, and black skin.
       Alicia.

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